Marido dominante: 10 maneras de ser el alfa en tu matrimonio

Al buscar en Google las palabras relación D/S (que significa relación dominante-sumiso), la primera asociación que tienes es probablemente una persona dominando a la otra en el dormitorio.

Sin embargo, el dominio en el matrimonio es mucho más que el dominio bajo las sábanas.

En realidad significa muchas cosas, pero la más importante es que una persona de la relación tiene más control que la otra.

When we’re talking about the dominant husband, it means that he is the one who is in charge, the one who makes all the decisions, and the one who is listened to.

It means the husband wears the pants and is the head of the household—just like it was in the old days; that his attitudes and points of view are respected and obeyed, without further questioning.

However, a D/S relationship is in no way an abusive relationship, and it doesn’t mean that men get all the privileges.

En cambio, se trata de un trabajo a tiempo completo que conlleva más responsabilidad de la que podría pensarse.

It means that the man is the provider, the protector, the one who takes care of the woman and of the entire family, and that he is the one who carries all the life’s weight on his shoulders alone.

One of the famous dominant husband quotes says: “A truly submissive woman is to be treasured, cherished, and protected for it is only she who can give a man the gift of dominance.”—Anne Decals.

Contrary to feminist point of views, even today, more women than you might imagine would like to be submissive and dream of paying attention to their husband’s needs and making sure he is satisfied.

Muchos buscan un compañero de vida que tenga lo necesario para dominarlos y que les permita ser un esposa sumisa.

However, finding a dominant husband isn’t all that easy because most modern men don’t have the initiative and strength to take over the leadership position in their relationship.

That is why numerous women ask themselves: “How to encourage my husband to be more dominant?

¿Cómo puedo inspirar a mi hombre para que se convierta en el macho alfa que necesito?

What can I do to become a submissive wife and to make my man the dominant one?”

Pues bien, la respuesta a estas preguntas está más abajo.

If you’re a woman who is looking for ways to transform her man into a strong, power figure, just push him into following this step-by-step guide to building a dominant personality.

Cómo convertirse en un marido dominante

If you’re a man looking for ways to gain control and dominance in your marriage, we have a solution for you!

All you have to do is follow this beginner’s guide for becoming the alpha in your relationship.

Trabaja tu autoestima

      

Ser un marido dominante significa mucho más que ser el líder en tu matrimonio.

Es mucho más que tener una pareja en posición sumisa que hace lo que tú dices y sigue todas tus órdenes.

En cambio, este proceso de convertirse en un hombre dominante incluye un montón de cosas y la primera de ellas es alta autoestima.

No, this doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to turn into an egocentric, selfish asshole in order to take over the dominant role in your marriage.

However, you can’t expect your wife to admire you, trust you, and put her life into your hands if you’re a guy who has no or little confidence.

You can’t expect her to believe in your skills and abilities if you don’t have faith in yourself in the first place.

Most importantly , you can’t expect her to respect you until you start respecting yourself,, and you can’t wait for her to start seeing you as an alpha male before you perceive yourself in that way.

De nada sirve intentar construir una personalidad dominante si te dejas llevar por tus inseguridades y miedos.

For example, if you are constantly worried that your wife might leave you for a younger and more handsome guy who earns more than you do, you’ll project your fears on her, and she’ll notice that you see yourself as not enough.

Consequently, once she sees that you don’t value yourself, she’ll start questioning your worth, as well.

After a while, you’ll unwillingly convince her that she can really do better, and she’ll go and look for that better.

Por eso tienes que empezar a trabajar en tu imagen personal antes que en todo lo demás.

You have to reprogram your brain into thinking that you’re the strongest, most capable, and most valuable man in this world.

Sí, si es necesario, vuélvete un poco engreído y creído.

Aunque no sea el rasgo de personalidad más deseable, lo cierto es que la mayoría de las mujeres caen en la trampa, les guste admitirlo o no.

This is especially important when you’re meeting a new girl. Show her that you have no doubt you’ll win her over but that you won’t humiliate yourself by begging her to be yours.

When you go out, act like you own the room. Make her realize that you’re perfectly aware of your numerous qualities and that there is nothing she could ever do to destroy your self-esteem.

I won’t lie to you—not a single person is at the peak of their confidence at all times.

However, the key is to pretend that you have faith in yourself, even when you don’t.

This doesn’t mean you should invent another personality just to be more likeable to the girls.

I’m just advising you to mask your insecurities. Do your best to act like they don’t exist when talking to the opposite sex, and with time, I assure you that they will really fade away.

Don’t let her change you

Let’s face it—when a woman enters a new relationship or gets married, she is likely to see it as a fresh project.

Probablemente te ve como a un niño al que debe educar: enseñarle a comportarse y ayudarle a convertirse en el hombre de sus sueños.

La mayoría de los hombres aceptan estos cambios sin ser conscientes de ellos.

After all, they’re so crazy in love with their wives that they’re ready to do whatever it takes just to make them happy.

In fact, most husbands are convinced that the way to earning their better half’s respect and love is through meeting her every demand.

Nevertheless, what they don’t know is that they’re probably making the mistake of their lives and that behaving like this will never make them an macho alfa.  

However, when you’re a dominant man, you know who you are, and you’re not ready to change your ways to please your woman (because that would mean that you’re the submissive one).

You make it very clear to her that you are not an immature boy she can play with and that you don’t need a mother because you already have one.

You show her that you’re a fully formed individual who won’t allow anyone reshaping him.

No estás dispuesto a cambiar tu forma de ser y a hacer cambios cruciales en el núcleo de tu personalidad sólo para ser más simpático y agradable para ella.

After all, she always has the choice of accepting you for who you are or to leave if she thinks you’re too much to handle.

Ella tiene la opción de amar a la verdadera tú o salir y encontrar a algún chico que se ajuste a sus estándares.

Sé que al principio este planteamiento parece demasiado arriesgado.

You might be scared that your wife will really walk away on you if you don’t do as she tells you.

However, I assure you that your fears don’t have any solid ground.

Not only won’t she dump you, she will be impressed by the strength of your character and proud that she has a real man by her side.

Ser físicamente más fuerte

Let’s face it—physical appearance is the first thing we notice about everyone.

¿Sabes que tienes que sentirte atraído por una mujer antes de lanzarte a por ella?

Pues bien, el sexo opuesto es igual. Y esto es especialmente cierto cuando se trata de dominación.

For a woman to see you as a dominant man, you have to show her that you’re able to physically dominate her.

I’m not saying that you should ever think of having an relación abusiva para mostrar tu superioridad porque eso es, sin duda, lo más cobarde que un hombre puede hacer.

I’m just telling you that you need to be physically stronger than her, so she can be able to perceive you as emotionally and mentally stronger as well.

Of course, the best case scenario would be if you’re already taller and physically bigger than your woman.

De este modo, sus instintos primarios le enviarán la señal de que puedes protegerla y de que puede confiar en ti.

However, if this is not already the case and if you’re shorter than your wife (which is something you can’t work on), there is still hope that one day, you will become a dominant man.

Aún puedes mejorar y mejorar tu aspecto. Ante todo, ve al gimnasio y trabaja tus músculos.

Haz todo lo posible por desarrollar tu fuerza, y asegúrate de que ella también lo note.

Start with the little things: open a jar for her, always carry the bags when you’re going grocery shopping, change her tire, and do other things which require physical strength.

Al principio, puede que se sienta ofendida por el hecho de que la consideres incapaz, e incluso puede que intente hacer todas estas cosas sola sólo para demostrarte que es una mujer independiente y autosuficiente que doesn’t need a man para ayudarla.

Sin embargo, eso no es una señal para que te rindas.

Trust me—before you know it, she’ll slowly start perceiving you as a dominant man, and she’ll subconsciously start taking over the submissive position and give you the dominant role in your marriage.

Ser dominante en el dormitorio

When they hear words like submissiveness, dominance,  submissive positions, and D/S relationship, alot of people connect it an abusive relationship where the man hits the woman and where she doesn’t have a say in any decision making process or they connect it only with sex.

Imaginan a un matrimonio practicando BDSM, palabrotas, other kinky stuff and remember the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Al fin y al cabo, esto es a lo que apuntarán la mayoría de los resultados en google: BDSM y dominación bajo las sábanas.

Even though this is in no way true—because dominant relationship is much more than one person being subordinate in the bedroom—sex is a crucial part of this type of arrangement as well.

Así que, si planeas adoptar un papel dominante en tu matrimonio, tienes que adoptar también un papel dominante en tu vida sexual.

Tienes que ser el socio activo, el que pone las reglas y el que dicta el ritmo.

However, this is in no way a green light for you to do anything your submissive wife is not OK with because submissiveness doesn’t equal rape.

The fact that you’re husband and wife is irrelevant, and just because you’re a married couple, it doesn’t mean that you have the right to do anything she doesn’t feel like doing or that you are entitled to force her into having sex with you.

Ideas pervertidas para el sexo son una cosa, pero el abuso sexual es algo completamente distinto, y siempre debes tener en mente no cruzar esa línea.

Remember that consent is always crucial and that you can’t start doing anything without that.

Having a dominant-submissive sex doesn’t only mean BDSM and being cruel.

It doesn’t mean one side being a sadist and the other being a masochist, like you’ve seen it in “50 Shades Of Grey”.

Ser dominante en el dormitorio significa tomar las riendas.

It means that you shouldn’t ask your submissive wife if she wants to have sex, can you have a blowjob or even can you kiss her because that is a huge turn off.

En su lugar, puedes incluir un montón de palabrotas antes de la acción.

You can tell her things like: “I want you to wait for me in the bed completely naked; Prepare to be wetter than ever before; Come here and suck my dick right now!; You are not allowed to cum until I say so.”

Por supuesto, el contacto visual y el tono de voz son importantes.

You can’t show her that you’re scared of her rejection, and you need to act like you won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.

En primer lugar, sé tú quien inicie el sexo. Además, si te apetece cambiar de postura bajo las sábanas, hazlo de forma que ella se gire como tú quieres.

No hay nada malo en tirarle del pelo o darle unos azotes.

You can also put her hand behind her back or above her head, so she feels like you’re in total control of everything that is about to happen.

Ninguno de estos consejos debe causar dolor físico a tu pareja.

Instead, they have a psychological effect which—besides helping you condimenta tu vida sexual—will help you become the dominant man you are.

Ser financieramente estable

Si quieres tener una mujer sumisa, tienes que mantenerla y eso incluye demostrarle que puede confiar en ti cuando se trata de finanzas.

It doesn’t mean that a submissive wife has to necessarily quit her job or that she can’t work, but she needs to feel in the heart like you could maintain her if she ever decides to be a stay-at-home mum.

This way, if she doesn’t have to worry about the money, she’ll spend more time paying attention to your needs and finding ways to please you. 

Once a woman sees that you have a full-time job and that you’re capable of keeping her fed and dressed, she’ll be more willing to take over the submissive role which belongs to her.

Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean you should casarse una cazafortunas que sólo está interesada en tu dinero.

On the contrary, girls don’t actually look for a sugar daddy (despite what many people might think).

They look for a mature man who invests in his career and who doesn’t expect his woman to solve his financial problems.

You don’t have to even be a businessman or extremely successful in what you do.

Just show her that you have a work ethic, that you’re not lazy, and that you’re capable of being the breadwinner of your family.

Show her that you’re not afraid of taking an extra job for example if it happens that you two run out of cash.

Y lo que es más importante, demuéstrale que puede dormir tranquila sabiendo que se ocuparán de todo y que nunca acabará en la calle mientras te tenga a ti.

Empieza por recoger siempre la cuenta cuando salgas como un todo un caballero.

Continúa organizando las finanzas de tu casa y asumiendo la responsabilidad de llegar a fin de mes.

Trust me—this is not about the money.

Se trata de que tu sumisa esposa se sienta sana y salva a tu lado.

It is about her listening to you when you say that you need to cut costs this month because she knows you’re saying it for the good of both of you and because she knows you’ve taken financial responsibility.

Se trata de que ella te vea como una figura dominante que está a cargo de todos los aspectos de la vida.

Ser responsable

Otra cosa crucial: nunca se puede llegar a ser dominante sin asumir responsabilidades y tener capacidad de decisión.

You can’t expect your wife to be a submissive woman if she sees you as an immature brat who needs her hand to guide him through life.

Pero, ¿qué significa realmente ser responsable? Significa que su los hechos tienen que estar a la altura de tus palabras. Significa cumplir tus promesas.

Significa tener un carácter firme. Significa no poner excusas por tus errores y no justificarte en todas las ocasiones posibles.

Being responsible means standing behind everything you preach. It means taking responsibility for all the things you’ve done wrong and trying to make them right.

It means having a plan for the future and always knowing what you’re doing.

Significa cumplir tus objetivos y trabajar duro para mejorar tu vida.

Significa saber comprometerse y dedicarse a las cosas que uno se propone.

Significa aceptar todas las consecuencias de tus actos. Significa ser un hombre de negocios responsable, un hijo responsable, un padre responsable, un amigo responsable y un marido responsable.

Significa ser un hombre y un ser humano responsable.

Trust me—these are all the qualities every woman admires and the things they look for in a life partner.

Ser decisivo

Cuando intentas reinventarte como un tipo dominante, tu capacidad para tomar decisiones es una de las primeras cosas que tienes que trabajar.

Antes que nada, tienes que saber lo que quieres y no tener miedo de conseguirlo.

No sólo eso, tu sumisa esposa también tiene que ser plenamente consciente de ello.

She has to see that your decisions are always thoroughly thought through, that you’re a wise and intelligent man who is not just led by the heart or by his impulse,s and that she’ll never go wrong when she listens to you.

She needs to know that your decisions are never spontaneous and that you know what you’re doing at every given moment.

That your point of view is rarely wrong and even if you make a mistake-that you’ll be better and make things right, without her having to suffer any consequences whatsoever.

Además, también es importante que dejes claro que todas tus decisiones son definitivas y que no hay margen para cambiarlas.

Whatever you’re doing you’re doing it for the good of the both of you, and your submissive wife shouldn’t even try changing your mind or manipulating you to make a different decision regarding anything.

Esto puede sonar cruel, pero tienes que demostrarle que lo sabes hacer mejor.

Yes, at first you’ll probably have to explain your moves to her, and she won’t accept the fact that you’re making all the decisions regarding your marriage.

Sin embargo, una vez que ella vea que tienes lo que se necesita y que tienes la capacidad de ser líder, she will be more than happy to not have to ‘crack open her mind’ about every little detail.  

Conviértete en su héroe

Les guste admitirlo o no, lo cierto es que la mayoría de las mujeres tienen la necesidad de ser salvadas y que los hombres tienen la necesidad de ser sus salvadores, de un modo u otro.

Ever since they were little girls, they’ve dreamt of their Prince Charming, coming on his white horse to their rescue.

They’ve dreamt of being Princesses who have a handsome and rich warrior next to them.

Pasaban días enteros intentando estar lo más guapas posible para él y esperando pacientemente a que volviera a casa.

Sí, se trata de un cuento de hadas y muchas cosas son diferentes cuando se trata de citas y matrimonios modernos, pero ¿está todo esto realmente tan lejos de la realidad?

Aren’t the Prince and Princess a married couple? Isn’t it true that the Prince is the breadwinner?

Isn’t the Princess a submissive wife who waits for him to make the first move, to win her over.

And to rescue her from all the evil? Don’t the two of them become husband and wife and isn’t the husband the alpha in their marriage?

Isn’t this ancient fabrication actually mirrored in today’s dominant man?

So, that is actually what you need to become in your wife’s eyes if you want to be an alpha man: her hero.

The one who will help her get out of all troubles life throws at her, the one who will be there to hold her hand while she’s overcoming all her challenges and difficulties, and the one who will not only wipe away her tears but also make sure she never cries.

Sé su héroe en todos los sentidos de la palabra: la primera persona a la que acude cuando necesita protección física, la persona cuyo consejo siempre pide, y alguien que de alguna manera siempre se las arregla para aparecer en el momento exacto con una varita mágica para resolver todos sus problemas.

Haz que se sienta cuidada, sé su roca y su fuerza, y te aseguro que te dejará tomar tu posición dominante en poco tiempo.

Demuéstrale que puede confiar en ti

Si una persona es el alfa de una relación, la otra tiene que tener una confianza ilimitada en ella.

Significa que tu mujer tiene que creerte y creer en ti. Tiene que estar segura de tu competencia para ser el líder de vuestras vidas.

She can’t doubt whether you’ll make the right choice or whether you’ll abandon her when she needs you the most.

She has to know that you’re trustworthy at all times and no matter what happens.

That you don’t chicken out at the first sign of trouble and that you won’t turn your back on her.

She has to see you as more than a lover—you have to be this woman’s mejor amigoángel de la guarda y protector.

However, you can’t accomplish all of this by just asking her to trust you and put her life in your hand.

Instead, you have to prove that you’re worthy of this limitless trust you’re demanding, and that is a process which takes time and doesn’t happen overnight.

Over time, you have to show your wife that you really are there for her, that you’ll never do anything that might harm her, and that you would never, under no circumstances violate her trust.

She needs to feel comfortable around you; she has to know that you won’t ever judge her and that you’ll always stand by her side in front of others.

Necesita estar segura de que puede revelarte sus secretos más profundos sin miedo a que los compartas con nadie más.

That you’ll be honest about her errors in the privacy of your own home but that you’ll always defend her in front of the world, no matter how powerful a force you have to stand up against.

You have to show her you meant everything you said in your wedding wows: that you’ll have her back through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and through good and bad days.

Una vez que lo consigas, ella verá que realmente mereces el papel de macho dominante.

Hazte cargo

All of the steps mentioned above are of no use for you if you don’t learn how to take charge in every moment of your marriage.

Por supuesto, lo crucial es que desarrolles la capacidad de tomar decisiones rápidas pero inteligentes en momentos de riesgo, pero hay cientos de otras situaciones en las que también importa que estés al mando.

For example, when you two are deciding about what to eat, don’t wait an hour for her to pick what she feels like having. Instead, suggest something right away.

However, don’t tell her: “What do you think about having pizza?”

Instead, just tell her “We’ll have pizza.”

Don’t worry—you’re not endangering her in any way with this because she’ll surely protest if that is something she doesn’t like.

Instead, you’re just helping her decide and showing her that you’re in control.

When you’re taking her out or buying her a birthday present, don’t wait for her to tell you where she’d like to go or what she’d like to get.

En lugar de eso, sorpréndela con una mesa ya reservada y comprándole algo que sepas que le gustaría tener.

Lo mismo ocurre con la planificación de sus vacaciones, con sus aficiones o su tiempo libre.

Whatever you do, make sure she knows you’re serious about it and that your decisions are final.

Sé siempre firme cuando hables con ella, y mantén fuertes contacto visual because that will show her you’re confident and secure.

Al cabo de un tiempo, tu mujer se dará cuenta de que eres tú quien lleva los pantalones en casa.

And guess what: she’ll like it more than anything!