Não podemos controlar quem perdemos, mas podemos controlar quem está na nossa vida

Quando miss someone you know you shouldn’t, you can’t help but feel guilty.

After everything this person has done to you and after all the pain they’ve caused you, it’s natural that you want them out of your life and system as soon as possible.

Isto aplica-se a todas as pessoas que a abandonaram e, sobretudo, aos seus ex-namorados. Afinal, eram estes os homens com quem queria partilhar a sua vida e as pessoas que mais amava.

Isto aplica-se a todos os tipos que te partiram o coração, que te enganaram ou que se afastaram de ti sem olhar para trás.

For all the guys who didn’t want to label your relationship, who ghosted you, and who left you hanging.

Or are we talking about a specific man? A man you can’t get out of your head, as much as you try?

Seja como for, o resultado final é o mesmo: You feel like by missing him, you’re betraying yourself.

You’re giving him even more power over your heart and soul. You’re giving him meaning and purpose.

After all, you’ve kicked him out of your life, so why can’t he be gone from your heart, as well?

Are you that weak that you don’t have the ability to see things clearly and to stop missing someone who doesn’t deserve your attention?

Bem, a resposta é: sim. Na verdade, todos nós somos.

Não há nenhuma pessoa viva que possa controlar quem ama e de quem sente falta. Quem disser o contrário está a mentir.

So, you’re not an exception. Remember: you’re a human being made of flesh and blood – not a robot who can be programmed and whose emotions can be switched off and on.

Therefore, it’s perfectly natural that you can’t control your thoughts and feelings and that you don’t have the capacity to order your heart and mind around. 

No entanto, o que pode controlar é quem pode estar na sua vida. Pode controlar quem tem acesso a si e quem pode ser honrado pela sua presença. 

Podemos controlar a quem dedicamos o nosso tempo, energia e paciência.

Basicamente, what I’m trying to say is that you should stop blaming yourself for falta de alguém. 

I know that sometimes you feel crazy and you can’t believe that you still have feelings for the man who has hurt you so much.

However, it’s completely normal to feel this way. In fact, most women go through the same thing after a devastating breakup.

Confia em mim quando te digo que tudo isto faz parte da tua recuperação. Esta é apenas uma fase do processo de seguir em frente.

So, don’t put yourself down for all the overwhelming emotions you feel. Don’t burden yourself for feeling the way you do. 

Instead of seeing yourself as a weak woman, be proud of your strength. Be proud that you have the power to resist your urges, instincts, and heart’s desires.

After all, you’re not allowing this man back in your life, despite the fact that you miss him, are you? You’re not giving him a second chance, even though there are times when you feel like you’ll die without him by your side. 

You’re not on this man’s doorstep, begging him to come back, despite the devastating pain that’s been killing you from the inside.

You’re not letting him see what an destroço emocional e não lhe está a dar a satisfação de saber que ainda sente algo por ele.

É isso que é a coragem. É isso que significa força interior: lutar consigo próprio todos os dias e vencer cada uma dessas batalhas difíceis. 

So, keep on missing him – nobody can deny you that right. Miss the man and love him for as long as you want.

Don’t repress your emotions and don’t pretend that they don’t exist. 

Aprende a viver com eles e, assim que o fizeres, prometo-te que eles desaparecerão. Assim que deixar de fugir dos seus demónios, prometo-lhe que eles deixarão de o perseguir.