Nunca tiveste de questionar a minha lealdade, mas eu tinha razão em questionar a tua

Desde o primeiro dia, desde a primeira vez que me disseste que me amavas, sempre te repeti que a única coisa que podias fazer para que eu deixasse de te amar era trair-me. E aqui estamos nós, conseguiste faz-me deixar-te.

Eu só pensava em ti. Don’t you remember? How much I smiled whenever you should come walking my way. I would always try to memorize your every move when you were walking toward me. I would remember your smile, the way your eyes wouldn’t move away from me and the way your arms were spreading while you were welcoming me into your hug.

Today, whenever I remember the time and effort I gave you, I start crying. It’s just the bitterness that’s eating me alive every time I want to think of you. Like it’s telling me that it was all my fault and that I shouldn’t have let you into my life. But who would have known?

Naquela altura, eras tudo para mim. There are still days when I wake up hoping that I will turn to the other side of my bed and that I will see your face, how you’re still sleeping so peacefully. I wish for all those things to just disappear, I wish for that moment of truth to vanish from my memory and I wish that the idiot I loved wasn’t an idiot.

Não há nada mais importante para mim do que a lealdade. Com a lealdade, damos prioridade ao nosso parceiro e decidimos que vocês os dois são mais importantes do que uma aventura ou um caso de uma noite. Ainda me lembro do tempo em que me olhavas nos olhos, muito sério, dizendo-me que eu era a única pessoa que querias na tua vida e ficavas sempre zangado comigo sempre que eu te perguntava se me ias trair.

I was right for asking, wasn’t I? That one-night stand was more important to you than all our kisses and the months, nights and mornings we spent with each other. That one mistake made you lose someone who was ready to love you until death do us part. I was the person who was ready to do anything to make you happy—but that doesn’t include forgiving you.

Nunca te vou perdoar. Talvez um dia, quando já não estiver a chorar e quando for demasiado velho para me lembrar dos pormenores, o faça perdoar-vos. But believe me when I say that you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to be forgiven, for you are a monster.

Ohh, não estou a exagerar. Estavas à espera que eu viesse ver como a tua cabeça se tinha metido entre as pernas dela e isso foi o suficiente para eu te rotular de monstro para todo o sempre que me lembrar de ti.

Don’t even try to apologize anymore. I have heard enough. “I’m sorry,” and, “I was drunk,” and, “I didn’t mean it,” and, “You know I love you” is everything that I got from you. But the only thing I actually wanted was for you to vanish out of my life at that exact moment.

But thank you, truly and full-heartedly—thank you. I owe you one. You made me see the real you and you helped me see with eyes unclouded that the man I once loved is nothing more than a beast who can’t shake the sexual tension between him and his ‘friend’. Thank you for helping me remember how important loyalty truly is and that people like you shouldn’t even bother to stay in my life.

Maybe one day it won’t be so hard anymore. I like to believe that there are faithful people out there. People who will fazer de mim uma prioridade acima de todos os outros, pessoas para quem serei importante e especial. Guardarei o meu amor e a minha atenção para quando chegar o momento certo de lhos dar.

Até esse dia, lembrar-me-ei daquela vez em que desististe de nós da forma mais nojenta de sempre. Obrigada por o teres feito para que eu me pudesse ir embora. Talvez um dia eu até te perdoe e tu não passes de uma recordação.