Por dentro da mente de uma pessoa suicida e como ajudá-la

Suicide. You get shivers down your spine by just thinking about it. The thought of killing yourself and leaving everything you have behind is unimaginable for you, but for some, it’s the only salvation they know.

Olhamos para tudo o que temos e vemos a vida que existe em cada ser vivo.

Tudo o que nos rodeia está cheio deste milagre espantoso, mas como é que ele se parece na mente de alguém que só vê a sua vida como um fardo?

What’s really inside the mind of a suicidal person?

Começa sempre com uma depressão. A depressão é uma doença mental muito comum que faz com que as pessoas vejam o mundo de um lado mais sombrio. As pessoas com depressão têm pouca concentração.

Têm um sentimento de baixa autoestima e de culpa. A depressão pode também manifestar-se através de perturbações do sono ou dos hábitos alimentares.

A forma como a depressão os faz sentir é como se não houvesse nada no mundo para se sentirem felizes.

Seeing only the dark side to everything makes you believe that this life isn’t even worth living, so why even try? Just imagine not being able to enjoy the things you find to be most pleasurable in life: like the hug of a loved one, the sun on your skin or the birds that are singing to you in the morning.

These are just little things that depression doesn’t allow you to enjoy, but what about those big parts of your life that made life joyful and happy? Like your job? Your partner? When you stop enjoying these things, you know it’s a huge red flag that your mind isn’t healthy anymore.

A parte mais perigosa da depressão é que, muitas vezes, a auto-mutilação está associada a ela.

Os cortes e as mutilações corporais, sob qualquer forma, tornam o pessoa deprimida esquecer a dor mental e emocional.

I have heard on many occasions that seeing blood coming from their body looks purifying – like all the depression is leaking out through that wound.

What they don’t know is that it’s just a little moment of pleasure that doesn’t mean anything. Instead, it just makes them more and more sick.

What exhausts a suicidal person the most is the constant battle that’s happening within. The constant battle between life and death.

At one moment, you see that the whole world doesn’t make sense and that you’re nothing more than a waste of human skin, but in the next moment, someone comes up to you and shows some basic human decency that makes you believe in the magic of life again.

A noite e a manhã têm efeitos completamente diferentes no cérebro e são esses os dois lados opostos com que alguém que está a pensar em suicídio tem de lidar.

When night falls and everything is so peaceful and quiet, it’s the moment when all those demons come alive and your brain falls victim to them. In the morning, life seems to be pleasurable again but only for a moment or two.

Thinking about all those people you’re leaving behind and thinking about all the pain they inflicted on you.

You’re thinking about how life might look like without you in it and how those people around you will react to losing you.

Are they going to cry? Will it be a happy moment for them to know that they don’t have to deal with you anymore? Are they going to regret what they have done to you? Is it that simple? Who knows?

Viver com todos estes pensamentos é cansativo and it doesn’t make it easier to choose between life and death because somehow there are always more of those things that make you want to kill yourself.

All of this brings you to unbearable emotional and mental pain. The pain invades your brain and your skin. It’s everywhere. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing in life.

A dor torna-se cada vez mais insuportável a cada momento que passa.

Your skin hurts from the self-inflicted injuries. Your mind hurts from those thoughts that don’t want to leave your brain and your chest hurts because your heart isn’t able to carry all that burden anymore.

O problema do suicídio é que as pessoas confundem-no com liberdade. As pessoas com uma mente suicida tendem a ver a liberdade no facto de se matarem, sem saberem que viver plenamente a sua vida é, na verdade, o que as torna completamente livres. São mais torturadas pelos pensamentos de suicídio do que pela própria vida.

As pessoas tentarão livrar-se desta dor interminável, tentando encontrar a salvação no álcool, nas drogas e no sexo. Tudo. Só para adormecer a dor que está constantemente a bater nos seus crânios.

Toxic thoughts occupy their days. Life isn’t easy when you hear those voices in your head telling you that you shouldn’t be on this planet with these people.

O pensamento tóxico pode, de facto, ser causado pelas mais pequenas coisas que acontecem na vida. Por exemplo: está a transportar a roupa suja de uma divisão para outra.

You trip and everything falls out of your hands. To someone who doesn’t have a suicidal mind, it’s nothing.

They will pick up the laundry and move on. But for someone who has toxic thoughts it’s not something trivial, but rather makes them think, ”I am so unworthy of this life if I can’t even do this right” or ”I am not even capable of doing this” and so on.

Sinais de declínio:

Como é que se sabe que alguém do nosso meio está a pensar em suicidar-se? A maior parte das vezes, uma pessoa suicida recorre ao álcool e às drogas.

Entorpece a mente e parece ser a única salvação que existe. No entanto, as pessoas com tendências suicidas parecem ser normalmente muito sociáveis, por vezes até felizes e festeiras.

The fact that they can’t go out with their friends without getting wasted tells you something.

One other sign that they’re surrendering is a change in appetite. Depression can cause the body to simply not respond to usual needs, like hunger.

If someone is depressed and suicidal, they play around with their food, they don’t eat enough and it turns to them being underweight and malnourished.

Losing interest in things they usually liked shows that life simply isn’t as enjoyable as usual.

I know that people change all the time, but losing interest in something overnight and not wanting to do the things that were making you happy and that made life a bit easier means that you can’t see the meaning of those things anymore.

You don’t even know why you’re trying when life doesn’t have meaning anymore.

A minha história

As coisas de que falei acima partem de uma perspetiva muito racional e são muito generalizadas, mas como é que isso se apresenta na realidade?

Posso dizer-vos, por experiência própria, que tenho pensamentos tóxicos e uma mentalidade suicida.

I was never a ‘depressed’ person. I loved my life very much but when people started to tell me that I always complained and that I didn’t smile enough, I started to question whether or not I was just putting on a mask.

When I would come home at night, my mind wouldn’t let me sleep and at this time of the day, the temperature of my body would rise. I would feel sick physically because of what my mind was telling me.

I was very young when I experienced all of this and I didn’t know how to handle anything.

I won’t go into much detail because it might be a trigger for some readers and I don’t want that, but at one point, my mind started to tell me that the whole world would be better off without me and that I shouldn’t be a burden to people around me anymore.

Na minha cabeça, essas pessoas tinham de lidar comigo e com as minhas queixas constantes, por isso comecei a guardar tudo dentro de mim e deixei de falar.

My parents just thought that it was a teenage phase and that they shouldn’t be paying attention to me, but I needed more attention than ever before.

As minhas notas baixaram e deixei de praticar desporto. Porquê? Ninguém me queria por perto.

I didn’t want to be around myself, so why would anyone else? There was no meaning in life itself. ”Why would I want to live if I’m going to die anyways? It doesn’t matter if I die today or in twenty years, does it?”

I wouldn’t want you to know how hard it is to deal with these emotions and thoughts every day.

It’s like being trapped in a cycle of the same words coming into your mind: worthless, nunca é suficienteodioso, miserável, abandonado.

Instead of searching for help, I continued to draw within myself. Life seemed to be unfair. I didn’t do much to make it better though.

Culpava-me por tudo, sem nunca ver que talvez outra pessoa fosse culpada pelo que eu sentia. Quando as pessoas me maltratavam, eu pensava sempre que o merecia por ser tão miserável e estúpida.

At one point, the people I called my friends started to tell me how happy I was. That I was more sociable than ever. I knew about that transformation of mine because I didn’t want anyone to see how I felt inside.

I would go out to parties and drink so much that I couldn’t even walk.

Those people I called friends made me take drugs because ”it’s cool” and you ”don’t want to be a pussy”.

E sabes que mais? Fez-me sentir bem. Fez-me sentir entorpecida por toda a dor e miséria que estava a sentir.

I started to become more and more serious about drug use and it’s what made me believe that I was truly happy and satisfied, at least for one moment of my life.

The only people who saw my depression were my parents, but they didn’t do much about it. I don’t blame them. They didn’t know that my mind was telling me to leave them behind and to jump out of the window just to make their lives a little less miserable.

When I stopped showing myself at the dinner table and I stopped eating completely, they started to get concerned. ”What is happening to you? Why are you so ungrateful? You’re too young to be depressed!” and so on.

Quando o meu pai insistiu em falar comigo sobre o que estava a acontecer, eu disse-lhe que era suicida, que a minha mente me estava a dizer para cortar um pouco mais fundo, para atravessar a rua mais devagar e para me aproximar um pouco mais dos cantos dos edifícios.

When I repeated that I was suicidal, his only response was ”aren’t we all?”

I was shaken for a moment because I didn’t realise what he was telling me.

I got mad because he didn’t care if I killed myself or not. He just slowly walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Again. I was furious and I was alone.

But my body couldn’t let go of his words and then I started thinking about losing everyone in my life who meant so much to me.

I thought about his words like I was about to lose everyone to suicide. My life would be empty and I would I ask myself for the rest of my days why did it have to happen this way and why couldn’t I stop them for doing this?

A partir desse dia, comecei a ver todas as pessoas na minha vida como alguém que poderia ser vítima de suicídio e o que lhes diria se viessem ter comigo, dizendo-me que se queriam matar.

The only thing I could think of was ”Just don’t do it!” I couldn’t find a reasonable explanation then, but I can now.

I started going to a therapist who told my parents that I was going to be fine because I didn’t want to commit suicide anymore, knowing what it would do to people around me.

My mother burst into tears as never before and she told me that she would be a ‘better mom’ from now on. That’s why I decided to be a better daughter.

The support from my therapist, my parents and the fact that I discarded all the toxic people around me who didn’t know how to help me really made an impact.

Rodeei-me de positivismo que me ajudou a ver as maravilhas da vida e a alegria de cada dia que ninguém deve deixar para trás. Agradeci a Deus por não me ter deixado cometer suicídio. Agradeci-lhe do fundo do meu coração.

COMO AJUDAR UMA PESSOA SUICIDA

After everything I have told you let me tell you that helping a suicidal person isn’t that easy.

Em primeiro lugar, tem de se proteger dos seus pensamentos tóxicos e tem de ser suficientemente forte para que eles não o afectem a si e ao seu estado de espírito.

If you are not sure that you can do this, then maybe it’s better to simply lead them to a therapist who can help them out in much better ways than you can.

1. Faça-os sentir-se necessários

A melhor maneira de mostrar a uma pessoa suicida que o suicídio não é a resposta é fazê-la sentir-se desejada e necessária na sociedade.

Mostre-lhes como solitário que estarias se te deixassem e mostrar-lhes que a sua vida tem realmente um impacto neste mundo. Faça-os acreditar que não há nada mais sagrado do que a sua respiração e a sua presença.

2. Cuidados

É realmente uma mudança quando as pessoas se preocupam com o nosso bem-estar e quando nos perguntam como estamos e assim por diante.

Life becomes easier when you see that there’s someone out there who cares enough to ask how your day went.

So don’t let a suicidal person be alone with their thoughts, but make them verbalize what they are thinking. Make them see that someone cares enough to listen what’s going on inside their head.

3. Don’t try to find a solution

Don’t you think that they have already thought about every possible solution? When you’re depressed, it’s not because you have a reason to be sad, but it’s a mental illness that doesn’t allow you to be happy no matter what.

That’s why you shouldn’t be telling them to have a balanced diet because it will make them feel better or to try using healing crystals.

Those things do not work. Instead ask, ” What can I do for you now?” and take them to a therapist if they’re not in therapy already.

4. Incentivar a terapia

I can’t stress this enough, but going into therapy works wonders. Therapists don’t get emotionally involved with their clients which means that they can have a completely rational solution for them.

Therapists are there to help us get mentally stable and help us resolve all the remaining issues from our past. If anyone can help them, it’s a therapist.

5. Don’t judge, understand

People who have a suicidal mind often don’t accept help because of the fact that everyone around them will judge them for what they’re thinking and feeling.

Don’t do that. Make them feel understood and like they’re in a safe space when they’re talking with you.

6. Ser gentil

Don’t force yourself on them. A universal need is empathy and if you get easily triggered, if you get easily mad by words or something between those lines, then try to get a hold of yourself and don’t let those emotions get the best of you.

Suicidal people don’t want someone who will yell without any particular reason but actually someone who will ser gentil e empáticos, independentemente da confusão em que se encontrem neste momento.