Porque é que os homens se afastam nas fases iniciais

O que é que se passa com o sexo "forte"? Às vezes parece que fogem de tudo tão facilmente.

… and they call women the weaker sex…

Compreender os homens can sometimes be harder than understanding women, but we don’t complain that much, do we?

It’s just that we’re left wondering what the hell went wrong for the rest of our lives more than we should, but it’s not that big of a deal.

A questão aqui é: Porque é que os homens se afastam nas fases iniciais? Porque é que é tudo arco-íris e luz do sol durante algum tempo e, de repente, fica tudo em branco?

O que é que aconteceu? Let’s imagine you were on a date or it’s been a few dates now and he seemed OK-ish or even as if he had a great time and then he disappeared. No phone call, no text, not a sound from him.

It’s not that you ficou demasiado pegajoso; you didn’t have the time to. It can’t be that you read the signs wrong; you’ve been out there for a while already and you know dating.

It’s not that your clothes were too much; we’ve passed that period a long time ago.

1. He pulled away because you didn’t really click

At first, one may think ‘this is it’, but there must’ve been something different happening in his head.

He might appear as if he’s interested and then he changed his mind all of a sudden, but didn’t bother telling you.

2. He pulled away because he didn’t like you

Nós, humanos, temos tendência para criar coisas na nossa cabeça que não existem na realidade.

Talvez tenha gostado de si, mas não o suficiente para ter uma relação consigo. Quantas vezes a tua imaginação já arruinou tudo?

You saw things way better than they actually were. He didn’t fancy you as relationship material and you stated clearly that you didn’t want to be friendzoned, so now you’re nowhere.

3. Afastou-se porque o seu entusiasmo desapareceu

Pode ser que ele tenha esperado pelo momento perfeito (e você tinha-o mesmo), mas passado algum tempo, o seu entusiasmo desapareceu.

He didn’t feel as thrilled to see you como no início. He wasn’t into going on dates with you and he didn’t want to spend any more time with you.

When that ‘whatever’ feeling got to him, he decided to disappear as well.

4. He pulled away because he’s scared of you

Homens, assustados, como se?! You have to admit, it’s the age of Wonder Woman and you might be way out of his league.

Não tem problemas em manter-se e as únicas coisas que precisa dele são respeito e amor.

You’re not dependent on him and you wouldn’t be under any circumstances.

It could be the case that he doesn’t know how to behave or how to handle such a strong female, so he’s left with only one option—to pull away.

In his head, it’s better to leave without a word than to stay embarrassed. It’s a poor decision, but there is nothing you can do about it.

5. Afastou-se porque não existe uma base comum

You’re just from two different planets and it’s hard to find any similarities.

You listen to Adam Levine, while he’s more of a country type, or you enjoy jumping into unknown situations and discovering new things by yourself, while he’s a ‘play-it-safe’ type of a guy.

Normalmente, os opostos atraem-se, but it’s not a must. It could be that in your case, the scenario was totally different and there was no other option for him but to pull away.

The truth is, it would be way less painful if you’d had closure or a final goodbye.

It would’ve saved you from wondering what went wrong. Maybe it’s not about the pain, but more about what is decent.

6. He pulled away because he’s too anxious to put himself out there

It may sound incredible, but people are fighting their anxiety on a daily basis and sometimes it’s just too much to handle.

You are an incredible person and he did the best he could to get you to go out on a date with him, but it’s way too much stress for him.

Although he’d love to continue whatever the two of you started, it’s much easier for him to just give up.

7. He pulled away because he’s a player

And that’s what players do. He got you interested and now he wants you to chase him.

Ele quer que lhe telefones, que te perguntes onde está e porque não responde.

You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just the way he is and the best thing you can possibly do is to just leave the things as they are.

8. He pulled away because he’s a filho da puta

Ele nunca planeou nada sério consigoEle só queria ter uma fase contigo e depois passar para a próxima vítima.

Este tipo de homens nunca se estabelece, mas pior do que isso, quando partem, partem sem dar uma conclusão.
Esta pode ser a razão pela qual se afastou numa fase inicial.

9. Ele afastou-se porque conseguiu o que queria

Nobody’s judging, it’s up to you how far you want to go. If he got what he wanted, that might be the reason he pulled away in the early stages.

He’d do it the moment he got what he wanted, regardless of how long you decided to wait.

10. Ele afastou-se porque tem medo de ser usado

Pode dar-se o caso de nunca se ter oferecido para pagar nada ou de ter dito que esperava que fosse ele a pagar tudo.

Also, if you said that you expected the guys you date to spoil you and to often buy you gifts so they’d get boyfriend privileges, no wonder he pulled away.

11. He pulled away because he didn’t want to get broken again

Talvez lhe tenha aparecido como uma mulher fatal e ele tenha visto que estava a olhar para ele apenas como uma ferramenta para conseguir o que queria.

Enquanto ele andava à procura da sua alma gémea, tu parecias ser uma dessas women who doesn’t settle and he realized he’d only get broken if he spent more time with you.

12. Afastou-se porque ficou com medo das expectativas

Talvez ele seja mais um fã de um namoro do que uma relação. E talvez ele quisesse manter as coisas picantes, mas nunca quisesse comprometer-se verdadeiramente.

With commitment comes big responsibilities and certain expectations he’d have to fulfill as your boyfriend and in most cases, men run away from those kinds of things.

Whatever the reason may be, you at least deserved an explanation. He shouldn’t have left you wondering what went wrong and he should’ve had the decency to be upfront.

So don’t you dare blame yourself or spend endless nights wondering what went wrong.

It’s time to stop questioning what YOU did wrong and understand that it can’t be your fault when he didn’t even give you two a chance. If he pulled away in the early stages, it’s his loss, not yours.

He didn’t get to know you well enough because he decided to give up early.

Deixou-nos a pensar no que terá corrido mal e passamos horas a rebobinar o filme na nossa cabeça para ver o que fizemos de errado.

Wouldn’t it be better if he could just ‘man up’ and say what’s on his mind?

There was no other date, there was no phone call or anything because he’s a quitter. And because of this, he doesn’t deserve you anyway.