Perché gli uomini si allontanano nelle prime fasi

Qual è il problema del sesso "forte"? A volte sembra che scappino da tutto così facilmente.

… and they call women the weaker sex…

Capire gli uomini can sometimes be harder than understanding women, but we don’t complain that much, do we?

It’s just that we’re left wondering what the hell went wrong for the rest of our lives more than we should, but it’s not that big of a deal.

La domanda da porsi è: Perché gli uomini si allontanano nelle fasi iniziali? Perché per un po' è tutto un arcobaleno e un sole e poi all'improvviso si spegne?

Che cosa è successo? Let’s imagine you were on a date or it’s been a few dates now and he seemed OK-ish or even as if he had a great time and then he disappeared. No phone call, no text, not a sound from him.

It’s not that you è diventato troppo appiccicoso; you didn’t have the time to. It can’t be that you read the signs wrong; you’ve been out there for a while already and you know dating.

It’s not that your clothes were too much; we’ve passed that period a long time ago.

1. He pulled away because you didn’t really click

At first, one may think ‘this is it’, but there must’ve been something different happening in his head.

He might appear as if he’s interested and then he changed his mind all of a sudden, but didn’t bother telling you.

2. He pulled away because he didn’t like you

Noi esseri umani tendiamo a creare nella nostra testa cose che in realtà non esistono.

Forse gli piacevi, ma non abbastanza da intraprendere una relazione con te. Quante volte la vostra immaginazione ha rovinato tutto?

You saw things way better than they actually were. He didn’t fancy you as relationship material and you stated clearly that you didn’t want to be friendzoned, so now you’re nowhere.

3. Si è allontanato perché il suo entusiasmo è scomparso

Può darsi che abbia aspettato il momento perfetto (e voi lo avevate davvero), ma dopo qualche tempo il suo entusiasmo è scomparso.

He didn’t feel as thrilled to see you come all'inizio. He wasn’t into going on dates with you and he didn’t want to spend any more time with you.

When that ‘whatever’ feeling got to him, he decided to disappear as well.

4. He pulled away because he’s scared of you

Uomini, spaventati, come se... You have to admit, it’s the age of Wonder Woman and you might be way out of his league.

Non hai problemi a mantenerti e le uniche cose di cui hai bisogno da lui sono il rispetto e l'amore.

You’re not dependent on him and you wouldn’t be under any circumstances.

It could be the case that he doesn’t know how to behave or how to handle such a strong female, so he’s left with only one option—to pull away.

In his head, it’s better to leave without a word than to stay embarrassed. It’s a poor decision, but there is nothing you can do about it.

5. Si è allontanato perché non c'è un terreno comune

You’re just from two different planets and it’s hard to find any similarities.

You listen to Adam Levine, while he’s more of a country type, or you enjoy jumping into unknown situations and discovering new things by yourself, while he’s a ‘play-it-safe’ type of a guy.

Di solito, Gli opposti si attraggono, but it’s not a must. It could be that in your case, the scenario was totally different and there was no other option for him but to pull away.

The truth is, it would be way less painful if you’d had closure or a final goodbye.

It would’ve saved you from wondering what went wrong. Maybe it’s not about the pain, but more about what is decent.

6. He pulled away because he’s too anxious to put himself out there

It may sound incredible, but people are fighting their anxiety on a daily basis and sometimes it’s just too much to handle.

You are an incredible person and he did the best he could to get you to go out on a date with him, but it’s way too much stress for him.

Although he’d love to continue whatever the two of you started, it’s much easier for him to just give up.

7. He pulled away because he’s a player

And that’s what players do. He got you interested and now he wants you to chase him.

Vuole che lo chiamiate, che vi chiediate dove sia e perché non vi richiami.

You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just the way he is and the best thing you can possibly do is to just leave the things as they are.

8. He pulled away because he’s a scopatore

Non ha mai pianificato nulla di serio con teVoleva solo avere una fase con te e poi passare alla sua prossima vittima.

Questo tipo di uomini non si accontentano mai, ma peggio ancora, quando se ne vanno, se ne vanno senza dare una chiusura.
Questo potrebbe essere il motivo per cui si è allontanato in una fase iniziale.

9. Si è allontanato perché ha ottenuto ciò che voleva

Nobody’s judging, it’s up to you how far you want to go. If he got what he wanted, that might be the reason he pulled away in the early stages.

He’d do it the moment he got what he wanted, regardless of how long you decided to wait.

10. Si è allontanato perché ha paura di essere usato.

Potrebbe essere che non vi siate mai preoccupati di offrire di pagare qualcosa o che abbiate dichiarato di aspettarvi che sia lui a pagare tutto.

Also, if you said that you expected the guys you date to spoil you and to often buy you gifts so they’d get boyfriend privileges, no wonder he pulled away.

11. He pulled away because he didn’t want to get broken again

Forse gli sei apparsa come una femme fatale e lui ha visto che lo guardavi solo come uno strumento per ottenere ciò di cui avevi bisogno.

Mentre lui era a caccia della sua anima gemella, lei sembrava essere uno di quei women who doesn’t settle and he realized he’d only get broken if he spent more time with you.

12. Si è allontanato perché spaventato dalle aspettative

Forse è più un fan di un flirt di una relazione. E forse voleva mantenere le cose piccanti, ma non ha mai voluto impegnarsi veramente.

With commitment comes big responsibilities and certain expectations he’d have to fulfill as your boyfriend and in most cases, men run away from those kinds of things.

Whatever the reason may be, you at least deserved an explanation. He shouldn’t have left you wondering what went wrong and he should’ve had the decency to be upfront.

So don’t you dare blame yourself or spend endless nights wondering what went wrong.

It’s time to stop questioning what YOU did wrong and understand that it can’t be your fault when he didn’t even give you two a chance. If he pulled away in the early stages, it’s his loss, not yours.

He didn’t get to know you well enough because he decided to give up early.

Ti lascia a chiederti cosa sia andato storto e passi ore a riavvolgere il film nella tua testa per capire cosa hai sbagliato.

Wouldn’t it be better if he could just ‘man up’ and say what’s on his mind?

There was no other date, there was no phone call or anything because he’s a quitter. And because of this, he doesn’t deserve you anyway.