Pare de tentar ser perfeita para homens imperfeitos

Para onde quer que olhes, verás praticamente a mesma mensagem.

You’ll see magazine covers, TV shows – the entire media – telling you how to become more attractive to men, how to look better, how to behave in a relationship, and how to keep a guy.

Basicamente, a partir do momento em que nos tornamos conscientes de nós próprios, o mundo diz-nos como ser namorada e material de esposa.

Seria lícito pensar que, com o tempo, as coisas mudaram e que a mensagem que recebemos agora é diferente da que os meios de comunicação social promoviam há algumas décadas...

However, if you dig a little deeper, you’ll see that we haven’t evolved as much as we think we have.

The advice may have a different wrapping paper but it’s actually almost the same as it was in the past.

Para onde quer que se olhe, existe uma pressão incrível sobre as mulheres.

We have to be good wives, amazing mothers, have a career while maintaining an immaculate household, and be innovative in the bedroom so our partner doesn’t get bored.

We also have to be great cooks and keep on top of our finances – all while wearing high heels, flawless makeup, and a fabulous hairdo.

O mesmo se aplica quando se trata de namoro and romantic relationships. In fact, this is where it’s most expected of women.

You can’t be too available, right? Otherwise, men will only want to sleep with you and dump you afterwards.

However, you can’t turn them down too often either. After all, nobody likes an unapproachable girl.

When you’re married or in a committed relationship, it’s pretty much your duty to make things work. It’s your job to save a broken marriage and to make sure your partner doesn’t walk away from you.

Despite only being a human being, it appears that you’re not allowed to make mistakes.

Cada movimento seu é colocado sob uma lupa e cuidadosamente observado pelo mundo inteiro.

Então, what the world is trying to tell you is that you have to be flawless – mentally, physically and emotionally.

You’re not allowed to have a bad day, to feel lousy, or to have cellulite, split ends, or be carrying a few extra pounds.

Se tem algumas imperfeições, deve fazer o seu melhor para as esconder. Isto se quiser ser vista, ouvida e escolhida por um homem.

What about those men your world seems to revolve around, though? I don’t see any of them trying to reach perfection, do I now?

Parece que, desde muito cedo, as raparigas são ensinadas a serem perfeitas para homens imperfeitos. Onde está a justiça nisso?

Most importantly – what’s the point?

Don’t get me wrong: não estou a dizer-vos que não se esforcem. Não estou a aconselhá-lo contra o auto-aperfeiçoamento.

On the contrary, I’m all for your individual empowerment. I’m rooting for you to become the best possible version of yourself.

No entanto, there is a big difference between making yourself better mentally, emotionally, and physically because you’re the one who wants it and making all of these modifications to be more likeable to the opposite sex.

There is a huge difference between changing some things YOU don’t like about yourself and doing it so you can fit in the box or fulfill society’s unrealistic standards and expectations.

If you’re doing all of this for yourself, good for you. Carry on with the good work!

No entanto, mesmo que o seja, I have to disappoint you and tell you that such a thing as perfection doesn’t exist. You can work on yourself but you’ll always have some flaws.

Então, it’s much better to accept and love those imperfections. After all, they’re all a part of the person you are.

On the other hand, if you’re doing all of this for the sake of one particular imperfect man or to please the entire opposite sex, stop it right there.

Deixe-me contar-lhe um segredo: um homem que se concentra nos seus defeitos e quer mudá-los não é a pessoa certa para si. De facto, a homem certo porque nunca vos pedirei que sejais perfeitos.

You know what the best part is? He’ll love you just the way you are and you two will be imperfectly perfect together!