Como perder-te me fez encontrar-me a mim próprio

For most of my life, I have given attention and affection to all who asked. I’ve put everyone else’s needs before my owno que me levou a ignorar as minhas.

A única coisa que ganhei ao tentar fazer toda a gente feliz à minha volta foi um coração partido.

That made me realize that no one is worth my tears and my pain. It made me realize that I don’t love myself.

Outros obrigaram-me a odiar-me a mim próprio e a quem me tornei.

I was never supposed to be the person I have become. I know I’m not that person deep inside.

I know that a long time ago I was satisfied with myself, I loved and respected myself but life forced me to change—you forced me to change.

Eu estava cheio de energia negativa e a tristeza estava a enfurecer-se dentro de mim. Saiu de mim, destruindo tudo o que eu amava e fazendo-me sentir ainda pior do que já me sentia.

But I didn’t want to show what was going on inside my mind. I concealed that depression and anger that was raging inside me, which led me to the point of almost utter self-destruction.

Outros perguntavam-se como é que eu conseguia ser tão positiva mesmo quando a minha vida estava a desmoronar-se. I’ll tell you how.

Although I’d almost lost my self-respect and self-love, in my darkest times I rediscovered it. I found shelter in myself from all the anger that was growing inside me.

O meu lado bom, o meu amor por mim própria, venceu a tristeza e o medo que sentia por ter medo de me tornar mais do que suficiente para mim.

Tinha medo de voltar a ser alguém que já fui.

Sobrevivi a desgostos como qualquer outra pessoa. Engasguei-me com as minhas próprias lágrimas e passei muitas noites acordado, a gritar o teu nome.

I spent days not wanting to get up out of the bed, trying to find the reason why we didn’t work out.

I blamed myself for not trying hard enough, but then I realized it was not my fault. It was never my fault. I just wasn’t something you needed, nor were you something that I needed.

Passei demasiado tempo a tentar fazer-te feliz e esqueci-me da minha própria felicidade. Ignorei os meus sentimentos ao ponto de perder o meu verdadeiro eu.

Tentei ser suficiente para ti, mas nunca era suposto eu ser tua, para começar. Entraste na minha vida com um único objetivo, que era lembrar-me de me respeitar e amar a mim próprio e de never change for anyone’s sake.

Esta foi a lição que aprendi da maneira mais difícil, mas valeu a pena, por isso, obrigado.

When we broke up, I thought I was going to be lost. I thought I’d lost my strength because I thought you were the one who gave it to me. I thought you were the reason

Continuei a ir e a lutar. Agora, percebo que me estava a impedir.

You were making me hate myself and what I’d become. That isn’t supposed to happen with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Depois de ter sobrevivido a essa montanha-russa emocional, encontrei finalmente alguém forte. Encontrei alguém que me está a levar a querer mais.

I found someone who told me it’s alright to be something you want to be.

I found someone who told me it’s important to love yourself and only then can you love someone else.

Esse alguém era eu.

I want to give all the love I used to give others to myself. That way I’m going to grow stronger and when I mature completely I will be able to love someone who truly deserves it. But first of all, I have to find myself.

I know that after all I have been through, after I realized what I needed, that I’m the one who is in control of my life. I’m the one who decides what’s right and what’s wrong with me.

I’m the one who can change the course of my own happiness. And I wouldn’t be able to do it without your help.

I wouldn’t be able to do it if you hadn’t left me and made me realize that Tenho de me encontrarque, depois de tanta dor e tantas lágrimas, acabei por conseguir.

Depois de Dei por mim and chose to love myself, I realized that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with myself and because of that I have to make peace with myself.

Tenho de ser a minha melhor amiga e a única pessoa que posso mudar sou eu.