Porque é que não consigo encontrar o amor? 10 problemas que o impedem de encontrar a pessoa certa

A única coisa que todos os seres humanos deste planeta têm em comum é a sua eterna procura do verdadeiro amor.

Todos nós desejamos uma relação amorosa com uma boa pessoa que prove que o amor romântico não está fora de alcance.

Basta sair da sua zona de conforto e encontrar o seu próprio caminho para encontrar o tipo de amor que merece.

Mas dizê-lo e fazê-lo de facto são duas coisas diferentes. Cada pessoa está no seu próprio caminho.

Encontrar uma relação bem sucedida logo no liceu e mantê-la ao longo da vida adulta é um desafio para muitas pessoas.

Don’t feel bad about yourself if you’ve recently experienced a bitter break-up with your high-school sweetheart.

That relationship taught you more than you’re able to comprehend right now.

A sua vida é da sua responsabilidade.

You’re the one who has to choose when you’re ready to find your true love because you’re the one who’ll have to work hard on keeping it functional.

If you’ve been less than lucky in finding love, this is for you.

O meu objetivo é ajudá-lo a descobrir as razões ocultas que o têm impedido de encontrar o verdadeiro amor e de experimentar essa felicidade talvez pela primeira vez.

If you’re having a hard time dealing with the cards you’ve been dealt in life, keep reading.

Hopefully (and most likely) you’ll find it easier to cope and become more prepared for a healthy relationship that will increase your self-esteem.

Ver também: Relacionamento de 3 meses: 12 mudanças que estão prestes a acontecer (e 7 sinais de alerta)

Why Can’t I Find Love?

Many people resort to various dating sites to meet people, fearing that they’ll be alone for the rest of their life. They are willing to settle for something mediocre and sacrifice their own needs for the sake of being seen with a significant other.

Yes, there is an array of potential partners if you choose to turn to online dating and hey, who knows, perhaps they will lead you to just the kind of guy or girl you’re yearning for!

But on the other hand, look back on your dating history. How much luck have you truly had with dating sites? Maybe the problem is you having somewhat unrealistic expectations or maybe you just need to search within yourself and discover what it is that’s really keeping you alone?

Não conseguiu ir além de um primeiro encontro? A ideia de ficar com uma pessoa para sempre é demasiado difícil para si?

Será que não se tem dado a conhecer o suficiente?

Let’s dig a little deeper and uncover the mystery of your love life. Love is a numbers game.

Quanto mais sair, socializar e sair da sua zona de conforto, maior será a probabilidade de conhecer potenciais parceiros.

I believe it’s time to get to the bottom of you not being able to find love. You deserve to find the kind of person who you’ll instantly feel that incredible vibe with.

You’re well within your rights to find a good person who’ll lift you up, encourage you to achieve your dreams and make you feel invincible.

Todos nós queremos sentir-nos seguros junto de quem amamos.

But if you’ve been subconsciously sabotaging yourself out of certain fears that you’re not ready to face, it’s high time to let the truth swim to the surface. If you want to find love, first you need to find yourself!

If you’re ready to be honest with yourself, keep reading to uncover the things that have been keeping you single for so long.

It’s time to get your groove back but first things first; let’s see how deep you’re willing to dig to help yourself find your one true love.

Ver também: 8 problemas de relacionamentos à distância (e como fazê-los funcionar)

10 problemas que o estão a manter solteiro

You can finally stop asking yourself, ”Why can’t I find love?” and start finding the real reasons that have kept you single for so long.

We all sometimes struggle with hidden issues that keep us from becoming our true self and there’s no shame in being hesitant to face them.

Mas uma pessoa forte e madura tem de estar disposta a enfrentar os seus demónios para finalmente os ultrapassar.

Aqui estão 10 problemas que o têm impedido de avançar e como encontrar o seu caminho de volta:

1. You’re still reeling from your past heartbreak

Sometimes, you fool yourself into thinking that you’ve healed from past pain when in fact you’d just been suppressing it for so long that you started believing it was truly gone.

It happens to everyone and it’s all part of the process of finding yourself again.

A cura de um desgosto de amor passado depende de alguns factores. Quão recente foi a sua última separação?

Quem é que acabou com o namoro? Ficou contente por ter acabado ou estava a tentar salvá-lo a todo o custo?

If you were the one who was dumped, despite trying your best to stay in your relationship and keep it together, then it’s more than expected for you to take your time recovering.

It takes a lot of time to heal from something you didn’t want to happen and fought so hard to salvage.

Perhaps this is your mind telling you that you’re simply not ready to find new love until you’ve resolved all of your past resentment with your last break-up.

O verdadeiro amor está algures por aí à espera, por isso, recupere o seu tempo e seja paciente antes de embarcar em novas missões amorosas.

2. You don’t actually want a serious relationship right now

Maybe you’ve gotten so good at being single and fabulous that you’re simply not willing to let anything get in the way of your fantastic new lifestyle!

Poder sair sempre que quiser, levar para casa qualquer rapaz ou rapariga atraente que apareça no seu caminho e dormir até tarde sem ter de se apresentar a ninguém de manhã parece-me um bom negócio!

And although the thought of having a partner seems alluring, things are just so good right now that you don’t really want to be in a committed relationship.

You tend to ask yourself, ”Why can’t I find love?” at the most random moments but you already know the answer!

Here’s what I think. If you’re truly happy and content with the way your life is right now, why mess with it?

Don’t ruin a good thing just because society pressures you into being in a relationship. Screw that!

Be happy, do what makes you happy and only listen to your own heart. When you’re ready to find someone, you’ll know!

3. Love isn’t your top priority

A vida é uma viagem que consiste em várias áreas em que é preciso concentrar-se e cultivar para ser feliz e estar em paz.

E se a sua vida está um pouco confusa neste momento, como é que pode esperar estar pronto para encontrar o amor?

Em primeiro lugar, tem de pôr a sua vida em ordem para conseguir alguma paz de espírito e só depois poderá concentrar-se na sua vida amorosa.

A successful relationship requires two partners who are in it together. You can’t expect to maintain a healthy relationship without being okay with the way your life is unfolding right now.

Maybe you’re still working toward a promotion and that has been eating away at you. Perhaps you are a parent and your child has been going through a lot.

Or maybe you’re still in school and you want to get your master’s degree before becoming seriously involved with someone.

Life isn’t a race so take your time! Check off all those boxes before going on yet another first date.

Fazer malabarismos com tantas coisas pode ser muito stressante. Tenha calma e dê passos de bebé. Concentre-se nas suas próprias necessidades antes de procurar um potencial parceiro.

Ver também: A lista definitiva de objectivos de casal para as relações mais felizes

4. You’re mentally and emotionally exhausted

A sua saúde emocional e mental deve estar sempre em primeiro lugar. Não o seu trabalho, não os seus passatempos e muito menos agradar aos outros.

You are your own biggest investment, so take care of your own needs before taking care of anyone else’s.

Perhaps your past relationships were taking away pieces of your soul and you don’t feel like you have anything left to give.

Maybe life has dealt you some truly shitty cards and you can’t catch a break; that wears you down more than you know.

Breathe. Love yourself. Be gentle to yourself. You’re only human. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel mentally exhausted.

Nobody expects you to always be at your best, and if they do, they’re not worthy of your time!

If you haven’t been able to find love, this could be the reason why. You’re just not in a healthy place right now for a successful relationship. So what?

Seja solteiro durante o tempo que for necessário para encontrar a paz interior. Nada é mais importante do que a sua própria paz de espírito.

And once you’ve been able to recuperate, catch your breath and stand on your own two feet and you’ll see how much better the world looks. It all starts with you.

5. Tem expectativas irrealistas

Sometimes, people get too picky and that can be understood… to an extent.

If you’ve been dealing with a really crappy romantic partner who diminished your self-esteem and led you to a bitter, acrimonious break-up, you’re only trying to look out for yourself.

However, what you’re doing in the process is sabotaging yourself because, with such high expectations, you’re unlikely to find anyone you’d deem worthy of your time.

É que nem toda a gente é o seu ex! Nem toda a gente te quer apanhar. Há pessoas decentes por aí que realmente cuidariam do seu coração.

As mágoas do passado levaram-no a erguer as suas muralhas e a não permitir a entrada de praticamente ninguém. É impossível satisfazer as suas expectativas porque ninguém é perfeito.

If you would let your guard down a bit and give the next person a chance, maybe you’d understand what I mean.

You can’t find true love without taking a risk. Every relationship is risky; you never know how it may end. With every single partner, there’s a chance of it all ending.

Lower your expectations and put yourself out there. If you don’t take any risks, you’ll never find what you’re looking for.

6. You’re not really making an effort to meet people

You’re a homebody. You enjoy the comfort of your home, binging your favorite Netflix shows, looking like a mess and not caring.

It’s what you’re used to at this point. So wondering, ”Why can’t I find love?” really shouldn’t be that much of a shock.

You’re not putting yourself out there! You’re not making an effort to meet anyone new, let alone start a healthy relationship.

You’re having a hard time getting yourself out of bed, let alone putting on fancy clothes and washing your hair. Who has the time, right?

Well, you should, if you’re eager to find love! This isn’t a movie.

There won’t be anyone knocking on your door in the middle of the night, realizing you’ve been their true love all this time, kissing you with passion and asking you to take a chance on them.

Sorry to burst your bubble but if you want a relationship, you’re going to have to go out and find it yourself! It could be your high-school sweetheart but it could also be that somebody sitting at a local bar alone, wondering the same thing you are.

Vá até lá e descubra!

Ver também: Os 10 principais sinais de que você não está pronto para um relacionamento no momento

7. You’re trying to avoid getting hurt again

You just can’t let yourself get hurt one more time. It’s too exhausting and you’re not sure you’d be able to take it again.

It hurts way too much and each time, it gets harder and harder to move on. Why does love have to be so freakin’ painful?

A lot of people refuse to get into a new relationship precisely for this reason. They don’t want to risk getting hurt again. And why would they?

Nobody enters into a relationship thinking they’d get heartbroken, yet it happens all too often.

Abrir o coração requer tempo e paciência. Se a sua última relação terminou com uma nota muito má, dê tempo a si próprio antes de encontrar alguém novo.

You’ll never be able to give it your all and part of you will always remain hidden.

Uma relação saudável tem a ver com o facto de duas pessoas serem abertas, honestas e vulneráveis uma com a outra.

Are you ready for that? If the answer is no, don’t push it. If you feel like you need more time, so be it.

8. You don’t trust your judgment any longer

After so many failed romances and broken hearts, you don’t really trust yourself with love anymore.

É evidente que tem um tipo mau, como sempre apaixonar-se pela pessoa errada. You’re sick and tired of it and you don’t feel like you’re a good judge of character.

Let me tell you something—90% of people would tell you the very same thing!

Depois de cada um dos desgostos que sofri, decidi categoricamente que já não era capaz de tomar tais decisões por mim própria. Acabava sempre muito destroçada.

But like I already said… love is a risk by default!

I know it seems like you can’t find a good person to save your life but I promise you that there’s one person out there for you who’ll make you see that all of this is BS!

You’ve simply had bad luck, that’s all. The tables are going to turn and once they do, you’ll see that you were being too harsh on yourself all this time.

Basta uma pessoa certa para o aliviar de todas as suas dúvidas e inseguranças para o resto da sua vida.

9. You’ve focused your energy on what you DON’T want

And that list is mighty long. You’ve had so much experience with dealing with the wrong types of people that you’re basically an expert on what NOT to put up with.

For example, if you’ve been cheated on, that’s the first thing you want to be sure won’t happen. But how can you ever be sure of that?

Another thing—you most certainly don’t want someone who can’t handle your ambition and drive.

A sua relação anterior terminou porque o seu parceiro nunca aceitou que você fosse o mais ambicioso.

Sempre se sentiram enganados por saberem o que queriam e por terem o objetivo de o alcançar. Bem, agora já não!

A próxima pessoa com quem sair tem de ser gentil, simpática, de coração aberto e aceitar exatamente o tipo de pessoa que é!

You are no longer putting your dreams on hold for someone who feels threatened by them. If they can’t handle ALL the parts of you, then they don’t deserve you.

But the thing is, you’ll never know how well your new partner will handle all of your quirks unless you give them a chance to prove that they can. Think about that for a second.

Ver também: Sente-se derrotado e perdido? Estas 10 coisas vão ajudá-lo a lidar com isso

10. You’ve stopped feeling attractive

After all of this time spent chasing the wrong people, putting your life on hold to please someone else, letting them shine and always take the credit for everything, yet still never being good enough for them, you’ve let it affect you profoundly.

It must be you. You just don’t feel like a catch anymore. If you were, wouldn’t you be in a relationship right now?

If you were really all that, why are you still asking yourself, ”Why can’t I find love?”

Why has love been successfully avoiding you and leaving a dent in your heart that you’re not sure you can recover from?

It’s hard to snap back from feeling that way but you know what? Screw all those people who played with your self-esteem.

Screw all those toxic individuals who made you feel unworthy. It’s their loss.

You’re here to find someone who’ll make you feel like you matter. Someone who’ll never let you go to bed angry or resentful.

And if you haven’t met such a person yet, it can only mean one thing…

Todas as tuas relações passadas estavam aqui para te ensinar uma lição. Uma lição sobre o que NUNCA mais deves aturar.

Uma lição sobre como apreciar, nutrir e desenvolver o seu próprio sentido de identidade.

You are kind, intelligent and big-hearted. Just because some toxic people entered your life and made you feel this bad, doesn’t mean they were right.

Concentre-se em crescer como pessoa e em manter uma relação bem sucedida consigo próprio.

Reach for the stars and never look back. Until you find someone who lifts you up, encourages you and loves you despite your little flaws, don’t settle for anything else.

O verdadeiro amor vale sempre a pena esperar.

O segredo para encontrar o amor

The real secret to finding true love is to never settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re on top of the world.

Sabes aquela vibração que sentes instantaneamente quando te identificas com alguém a todos os níveis? Intelectualmente, emocionalmente, espiritualmente e sexualmente?

That’s what love is all about; sharing a bond that is strong and impenetrable yet exciting and fresh and makes you feel invincible.

Never settle for mediocre love that doesn’t fulfill your heart.

You deserve to find an uplifting partner who’ll go out of their way to give 80% when all you can give is 20%.

Someone who doesn’t hold grudges and who doesn’t make you stop following your dreams.

Love is simple; a person who’s willing to accept you for exactly who you are with no intention of ever changing you.

If you still can’t find love, it’s because you haven’t met a good enough person who’d do all that for you.

But once you do, you’ll finally see why it never worked out with anyone else.

Once your intellect, your emotional zest and your soul are successfully matched, you’ll feel that unparalleled vibe.

Veja também: Manifestar uma pessoa específica usando a lei da atração