The one thing every human being on this planet has in common is their undying search for true love.
We all crave a loving relationship with a good person who will prove that romantic love is not out of reach.
All it takes is moving away from your comfort zone and finding your own way to find the kind of love you deserve.
But saying it and actually doing it are two different things. Every person is on their own journey.
Finding a successful relationship as early as in high-school and maintaining it throughout your adult life is a challenging thing for many people.
Don’t feel bad about yourself if you’ve recently experienced a bitter break-up with your high-school sweetheart.
That relationship taught you more than you’re able to comprehend right now.
You are in charge of your own life.
You’re the one who has to choose when you’re ready to find your true love because you’re the one who’ll have to work hard on keeping it functional.
If you’ve been less than lucky in finding love, this is for you.
My goal is to help you uncover the hidden reasons that have been keeping you from finding true love and experiencing that happiness for perhaps the first time ever.
If you’re having a hard time dealing with the cards you’ve been dealt in life, keep reading.
Hopefully (and most likely) you’ll find it easier to cope and become more prepared for a healthy relationship that will increase your self-esteem.
See also: 3-Month Relationship: 12 Changes That Are Bound To Happen (And 7 Red Flags)
Why Can’t I Find Love?
Many people resort to various dating sites to meet people, fearing that they’ll be alone for the rest of their life. They are willing to settle for something mediocre and sacrifice their own needs for the sake of being seen with a significant other.
Yes, there is an array of potential partners if you choose to turn to online dating and hey, who knows, perhaps they will lead you to just the kind of guy or girl you’re yearning for!
But on the other hand, look back on your dating history. How much luck have you truly had with dating sites? Maybe the problem is you having somewhat unrealistic expectations or maybe you just need to search within yourself and discover what it is that’s really keeping you alone?
Have you been unable to go further than a first date? Is the thought of staying with one person forever a little too overwhelming for you?
Have you not been putting yourself out there enough?
Let’s dig a little deeper and uncover the mystery of your love life. Love is a numbers game.
The more you go out, socialize and get out of your comfort zone, the more likely you are to meet potential partners.
I believe it’s time to get to the bottom of you not being able to find love. You deserve to find the kind of person who you’ll instantly feel that incredible vibe with.
You’re well within your rights to find a good person who’ll lift you up, encourage you to achieve your dreams and make you feel invincible.
We all just want to feel safe around the one we love.
But if you’ve been subconsciously sabotaging yourself out of certain fears that you’re not ready to face, it’s high time to let the truth swim to the surface. If you want to find love, first you need to find yourself!
If you’re ready to be honest with yourself, keep reading to uncover the things that have been keeping you single for so long.
It’s time to get your groove back but first things first; let’s see how deep you’re willing to dig to help yourself find your one true love.
See also: 8 Long-Distance Relationship Problems (And How To Make It Work)
10 Issues That Are Keeping You Single
You can finally stop asking yourself, ”Why can’t I find love?” and start finding the real reasons that have kept you single for so long.
We all sometimes struggle with hidden issues that keep us from becoming our true self and there’s no shame in being hesitant to face them.
But a strong, mature person has to be willing to face their demons in order to finally overcome them.
Here are 10 issues that have been holding you back and how to find your way back:
1. You’re still reeling from your past heartbreak
Sometimes, you fool yourself into thinking that you’ve healed from past pain when in fact you’d just been suppressing it for so long that you started believing it was truly gone.
It happens to everyone and it’s all part of the process of finding yourself again.
Healing from a past heartbreak depends on a few factors. How recent was your last break-up?
Who was the one who ended it? Were you happy that it ended or were you trying to salvage it at any cost?
If you were the one who was dumped, despite trying your best to stay in your relationship and keep it together, then it’s more than expected for you to take your time recovering.
It takes a lot of time to heal from something you didn’t want to happen and fought so hard to salvage.
Perhaps this is your mind telling you that you’re simply not ready to find new love until you’ve resolved all of your past resentment with your last break-up.
True love is out there somewhere waiting, so take your time recuperating and be patient before embarking on new love quests.
2. You don’t actually want a serious relationship right now
Maybe you’ve gotten so good at being single and fabulous that you’re simply not willing to let anything get in the way of your fantastic new lifestyle!
Being able to go out whenever you want, take home whichever hot guy or girl comes your way and sleeping in without having to report to anyone in the morning sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me!
And although the thought of having a partner seems alluring, things are just so good right now that you don’t really want to be in a committed relationship.
You tend to ask yourself, ”Why can’t I find love?” at the most random moments but you already know the answer!
Here’s what I think. If you’re truly happy and content with the way your life is right now, why mess with it?
Don’t ruin a good thing just because society pressures you into being in a relationship. Screw that!
Be happy, do what makes you happy and only listen to your own heart. When you’re ready to find someone, you’ll know!
3. Love isn’t your top priority
Life is a journey that consists of various areas that one needs to focus on and nurture in order to be happy and at peace.
And if your life is a bit of a mess right now, how can you expect to be ready to find love?
First, you need to get your life in order to achieve some peace of mind and only then can you focus on your love life.
A successful relationship requires two partners who are in it together. You can’t expect to maintain a healthy relationship without being okay with the way your life is unfolding right now.
Maybe you’re still working toward a promotion and that has been eating away at you. Perhaps you are a parent and your child has been going through a lot.
Or maybe you’re still in school and you want to get your master’s degree before becoming seriously involved with someone.
Life isn’t a race so take your time! Check off all those boxes before going on yet another first date.
Juggling so many things can be beyond stressful. Ease up on yourself and take baby steps. Focus on your own needs before looking for a potential partner.
See also: The Ultimate List Of Couple Goals For The Happiest Relationships
4. You’re mentally and emotionally exhausted
Your emotional and mental health should always come first. Not your job, not your hobbies and most certainly not pleasing others.
You are your own biggest investment, so take care of your own needs before taking care of anyone else’s.
Perhaps your past relationships were taking away pieces of your soul and you don’t feel like you have anything left to give.
Maybe life has dealt you some truly shitty cards and you can’t catch a break; that wears you down more than you know.
Breathe. Love yourself. Be gentle to yourself. You’re only human. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel mentally exhausted.
Nobody expects you to always be at your best, and if they do, they’re not worthy of your time!
If you haven’t been able to find love, this could be the reason why. You’re just not in a healthy place right now for a successful relationship. So what?
Be single for as long as it takes for you to find inner peace. Nothing is more important than your own peace of mind.
And once you’ve been able to recuperate, catch your breath and stand on your own two feet and you’ll see how much better the world looks. It all starts with you.
5. You have unrealistic expectations
Sometimes, people get too picky and that can be understood… to an extent.
If you’ve been dealing with a really crappy romantic partner who diminished your self-esteem and led you to a bitter, acrimonious break-up, you’re only trying to look out for yourself.
However, what you’re doing in the process is sabotaging yourself because, with such high expectations, you’re unlikely to find anyone you’d deem worthy of your time.
You see, not everyone is your ex! Not everyone is out to get you. There are decent people out there who would actually take care of your heart.
Your past hurt has caused you to put your walls up and allow virtually no one in. It is impossible to fulfill your expectations because nobody is perfect.
If you would let your guard down a bit and give the next person a chance, maybe you’d understand what I mean.
You can’t find true love without taking a risk. Every relationship is risky; you never know how it may end. With every single partner, there’s a chance of it all ending.
Lower your expectations and put yourself out there. If you don’t take any risks, you’ll never find what you’re looking for.
6. You’re not really making an effort to meet people
You’re a homebody. You enjoy the comfort of your home, binging your favorite Netflix shows, looking like a mess and not caring.
It’s what you’re used to at this point. So wondering, ”Why can’t I find love?” really shouldn’t be that much of a shock.
You’re not putting yourself out there! You’re not making an effort to meet anyone new, let alone start a healthy relationship.
You’re having a hard time getting yourself out of bed, let alone putting on fancy clothes and washing your hair. Who has the time, right?
Well, you should, if you’re eager to find love! This isn’t a movie.
There won’t be anyone knocking on your door in the middle of the night, realizing you’ve been their true love all this time, kissing you with passion and asking you to take a chance on them.
Sorry to burst your bubble but if you want a relationship, you’re going to have to go out and find it yourself! It could be your high-school sweetheart but it could also be that somebody sitting at a local bar alone, wondering the same thing you are.
Go out there and find out!
See also: Top 10 Signs You’re Not Ready For A Relationship Right Now
7. You’re trying to avoid getting hurt again
You just can’t let yourself get hurt one more time. It’s too exhausting and you’re not sure you’d be able to take it again.
It hurts way too much and each time, it gets harder and harder to move on. Why does love have to be so freakin’ painful?
A lot of people refuse to get into a new relationship precisely for this reason. They don’t want to risk getting hurt again. And why would they?
Nobody enters into a relationship thinking they’d get heartbroken, yet it happens all too often.
Opening up your heart takes time and patience. If your last relationship ended on a really bad note, give yourself time before finding someone new.
You’ll never be able to give it your all and part of you will always remain hidden.
A healthy relationship is all about two people being open, honest and vulnerable with each other.
Are you ready for that? If the answer is no, don’t push it. If you feel like you need more time, so be it.
8. You don’t trust your judgment any longer
After so many failed romances and broken hearts, you don’t really trust yourself with love anymore.
You clearly have a bad type as you always fall for the wrong person. You’re sick and tired of it and you don’t feel like you’re a good judge of character.
Let me tell you something—90% of people would tell you the very same thing!
After each and every heartbreak I endured, I adamantly decided that I was no longer capable of making such decisions for myself. I always ended up severely shattered.
But like I already said… love is a risk by default!
I know it seems like you can’t find a good person to save your life but I promise you that there’s one person out there for you who’ll make you see that all of this is BS!
You’ve simply had bad luck, that’s all. The tables are going to turn and once they do, you’ll see that you were being too harsh on yourself all this time.
All it takes is one right person to relieve you of all your doubts and insecurities for the rest of your life.
9. You’ve focused your energy on what you DON’T want
And that list is mighty long. You’ve had so much experience with dealing with the wrong types of people that you’re basically an expert on what NOT to put up with.
For example, if you’ve been cheated on, that’s the first thing you want to be sure won’t happen. But how can you ever be sure of that?
Another thing—you most certainly don’t want someone who can’t handle your ambition and drive.
Your past relationship ended because your partner never accepted that you were the more ambitious one.
You were always made to feel wrong for knowing what you wanted and aiming to achieve it. Well, no more!
The next person you date has to be kind, nice, open-hearted and accepting of exactly the kind of person you are!
You are no longer putting your dreams on hold for someone who feels threatened by them. If they can’t handle ALL the parts of you, then they don’t deserve you.
But the thing is, you’ll never know how well your new partner will handle all of your quirks unless you give them a chance to prove that they can. Think about that for a second.
See also: Feeling Defeated And Lost? These 10 Things Will Help You Cope
10. You’ve stopped feeling attractive
After all of this time spent chasing the wrong people, putting your life on hold to please someone else, letting them shine and always take the credit for everything, yet still never being good enough for them, you’ve let it affect you profoundly.
It must be you. You just don’t feel like a catch anymore. If you were, wouldn’t you be in a relationship right now?
If you were really all that, why are you still asking yourself, ”Why can’t I find love?”
Why has love been successfully avoiding you and leaving a dent in your heart that you’re not sure you can recover from?
It’s hard to snap back from feeling that way but you know what? Screw all those people who played with your self-esteem.
Screw all those toxic individuals who made you feel unworthy. It’s their loss.
You’re here to find someone who’ll make you feel like you matter. Someone who’ll never let you go to bed angry or resentful.
And if you haven’t met such a person yet, it can only mean one thing…
All of your past relationships were here to teach you a lesson. A lesson on what NEVER to put up with again.
A lesson on how to appreciate, nurture and develop your own sense of self.
You are kind, intelligent and big-hearted. Just because some toxic people entered your life and made you feel this bad, doesn’t mean they were right.
Focus on growing as a person and maintaining a successful relationship with your own self.
Reach for the stars and never look back. Until you find someone who lifts you up, encourages you and loves you despite your little flaws, don’t settle for anything else.
True love is always worth the wait.
The Secret To Finding Love
The real secret to finding true love is to never settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re on top of the world.
You know that vibe you instantly feel when you click with someone on every level? Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and sexually?
That’s what love is all about; sharing a bond that is strong and impenetrable yet exciting and fresh and makes you feel invincible.
Never settle for mediocre love that doesn’t fulfill your heart.
You deserve to find an uplifting partner who’ll go out of their way to give 80% when all you can give is 20%.
Someone who doesn’t hold grudges and who doesn’t make you stop following your dreams.
Love is simple; a person who’s willing to accept you for exactly who you are with no intention of ever changing you.
If you still can’t find love, it’s because you haven’t met a good enough person who’d do all that for you.
But once you do, you’ll finally see why it never worked out with anyone else.
Once your intellect, your emotional zest and your soul are successfully matched, you’ll feel that unparalleled vibe.
See also: Manifesting A Specific Person Using The Law Of Attraction