Quarto encontro: 10 melhores dicas e truques para o planear com sucesso

Significado da 4ª data

Para muitas pessoas, o terceiro encontro is the charm, right? It is the date on which the “something more” usually happens – the date everyone thinks they should pay attention to.

However, according to some of the best dating experts, date number four is actually the crucial one, even though it’s seriously underrated.

No primeiro, segundo e terceiro encontros, você e o seu potencial parceiro já atingiram um certo nível, pelo que agora estão suficientemente à vontade para abordar algumas questões mais sérias e podem determinar o futuro da vossa relação.

Basically, the 4th date can impact the rest of your relationship and whether things between you and this other person will even keep on going or not. Well, that’s why we’re here – to assist you by giving you the most useful pieces of advice for this crucial date, which will help you do everything right.

10 dicas e truques para o quarto encontro

There are some tips and tricks that’ll help you prepare yourself for this significant evening, if you just follow them carefully. Here are 10 of them:

Parar jogar duro para conseguir

Let’s face it, a lot of people have a habit of playing some mind games in the beginning of a new relationship with someone.

And that’s not something you should be ashamed of – as long as you don’t exaggerate and have good intentions.

When you go out on a first date with a new person, it’s natural for you to examine the field before letting yourself go all the way in.

A última coisa que quer é parecer demasiado desesperado e disponível, por isso finge ter mais do que uma opção em aberto.

Desta forma, o seu objetivo é tornar-se mais interessante para o seu potencial parceiro; quer que ele lute mais por si.

No entanto, de acordo com a maioria das dicas para encontros, o 4º encontro é a altura em que deve pôr fim a esta situação e deixar de se fazer de difícil.

It’s more than obvious that the other person is interested in you, so there’s no point in pretending not to give a damn about them.

In fact, this kind of behavior might just chase your potential partner away. They’ll think of you as an immature brat who doesn’t know what they want and probably run for the hills.

Em vez disso, o quarto encontro é o encontro em que deve ser mais direto sobre os seus sentimentos e emoções.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female – this is the time for you to show initiative.

But don’t be too pushy either

No entanto, ser demasiado exigente ou insistente também pode ser contraproducente.

I know that you’re probably head over heels for this obviously special person and that you want them to know this badly, but you don’t want to scare them away with your behavior either.

Always keep in mind that there’s a possibility of them not feeling the same way or not being attracted to you with the same intensity, so make sure to hold back a notch.

It’s crucial to find some balance: Be open about your desires but don’t act too desperate.

Use your body language to show the other person you like them, or simply tell them you’re into them and would like for this a situação de namoro para evoluir para uma relação no futuro.

That said, avoid big love declarations and grand romantic gestures because you’ll just look like an inexperienced creep who falls desperately in love after only three dates.

Siga a dica do encontro que o aconselha a ser franco sobre as suas emoções, mas não tão aberto sobre a sua intensidade.

Be clear about your intentions and wishes, but don’t make the other person feel like you’re forcing them to accept whatever arrangement you had planned.

What’s important is to pay close attention to everything the other person is telling and not telling you.

Observe the signals they’re sending you and try to figure out whether they like you back enough to try something more.

Respect their personal boundaries and don’t invade their space unless you see they’re comfortable with it. Don’t be too shy yet don’t push them beyond their limits either.

Etiquetar coisas

Até agora, a maior parte da conversa entre si e essa pessoa era conversa fiada. Provavelmente, falaram sobre o tempo ou partilharam algumas informações básicas um sobre o outro.

No entanto, agora é a altura de levar tudo para o próximo nível. Esta é a data em que deve decidir sobre o rumo que a sua relação está a tomar, se quiser saber qual é a sua posição no futuro.

Vocês são exclusivos e ambos querem uma relação séria? Ou andam a sair com outras pessoas e isto é apenas um engate?

If you’re someone who isn’t into casual hookups and meaningless affairs, and are looking for something serious, this is the time to come clean about it.

Don’t worry, you won’t appear as demasiado carente ou patético por falar diretamente das suas atitudes e princípios.

Instead, the other person will see that you’re not someone they can play with as they please.

They’ll see that you know what you want from life and aren’t afraid to get it. And that is something everyone appreciates and respects.

Of course, you shouldn’t give an ultimatum directly or threaten to break up with them before actually starting anything, but you’ll make things pretty clear and see whether they want the same by the direction of the conversation.

Se ambos estão interessados em oficializar a relação e transformá-la numa relação de facto, chegou o momento de estabelecer algumas regras básicas.

Don’t make this entire conversation feel like a business arrangement. Simply talk about both of your preferences: what type of relationships you enjoy, what things you tolerate in a relationship, your most important dealbreakers…

Of course, nobody can predict the future and guarantee that you two will succeed, but having this kind of conversation can give you a bigger picture and help you realize whether or not you’re compatible.

It’s possible that you both, for example, want a relationship but define a serious relationship differently.

Or maybe you just have completely opposite views when it comes to romance in general and conclude that you’re not cut for each other, despite the strong vibe and chemistry that clearly exists.

Torná-lo menos formal

When you meet someone new, you want to leave the best possible impression – there’s nothing unusual about that.

It’s not that you’re pretending to be someone you’re actually not, you’re just wrapping your imperfections in a shiny paper and showing them the best version of your personality.

No entanto, quando se chega ao quarto encontro, é altura de começar a tirar as máscaras e mostrar a versão mais real de si próprio.

Be more relaxed and show this person you’re comfortable around them.

Actually, the entire fourth date doesn’t have to be as formal as the first date, segundo encontro ou um terceiro encontro.

You don’t have to necessarily end things with a fancy dinner; you two can take a walk in the park in your sweatpants or even hit the pool.

Afinal de contas, se esta é a pessoa com quem planeia iniciar uma relação, ela também tem de ser apresentada aos seus defeitos.

On the other hand, if you still don’t feel comfortable enough around them, it may be a bandeira vermelha and bad sign that something isn’t working.

You see, we all feel nervous when we’re meeting someone new.

Prestamos especial atenção a cada pequeno pormenor do nosso comportamento e, por vezes, até escondemos inconscientemente algumas das nossas características.

No entanto, este constrangimento deve desaparecer no dia quatro.

By now, you guys should be more relaxed in front of each other because you’ve already been hanging out for some time and the tense atmosphere should be a thing of the past.

But don’t relax too much

However, what a lot of people don’t know is that this doesn’t mean that now you’re allowed to let yourself loose completely.

Yes, they should see that you’re only human, but let them discover your personality layer by layer; don’t reveal your dirtiest secrets right away.

Naturally, this doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable to, for example, fart or be rude in any other way on the fourth date.

Despite everything, it’s still your job to put an effort into at least being decent-looking and showing some basic manners.

Don’t spend the entire evening texting someone else, don’t be late, and don’t do anything else which might be seen as a sign of disrespect towards your date.

Don’t talk about sex too much and don’t make dirty jokes or inappropriate comments.

O quarto encontro não é uma oportunidade para se comportar como quiser ou para começar a dizer disparates e a dizer a primeira coisa que lhe vem à cabeça em voz alta.

Lembre-se: ainda tem muito trabalho pela frente quando se trata de conquistar essa pessoa.

Por isso, se considera que o seu trabalho está terminado só porque chegaram ao quarto encontro, pense melhor e ponha mãos à obra!

A última coisa que quer é que eles pensem que estava a enganá-los desde o início e que estava apenas à espera do quarto encontro para mostrar a sua verdadeira face.

What could be even worse is your date thinking that you’ve started tomá-los como garantidos nesta fase inicial da vossa relação, o que seria, sem dúvida, uma grande desilusão para qualquer pessoa.

Perguntar a alguns questões profundas

De acordo com a maior parte das regras dos encontros, é no quarto encontro que as conversas devem tornar-se mais sérias.

It’s not enough to spend the entire time casually hanging out, talking about your hobbies, everyday activities, and preferences anymore.

Now’s the time to take things to the next level – to dig a little deeper and start asking more personal questions, which will help you get to the bottom of this person sitting next to you.

Quem são eles na realidade, por detrás de todas aquelas roupas e delicadeza?

Como foi a sua infância? Como é que isso os moldou?

What’s their family like? Are they close or just on decent terms?

What’s their dream job? Are they content with the current state of their career or do they hope to make some crucial difference?

Quem são os seus amigos mais próximos? O que é que a amizade significa para eles e quanto estão dispostos a sacrificar por ela?

What are your date’s life goals and plans for the future? What are their biggest aspirations, desires and ambitions?

Quais são os seus sonhos mais loucos e os seus medos mais profundos?

What’s the one thing they like about themselves the most and the thing they’d change about their appearance or personality, if they had the chance to?

Quem é que admiram e porquê? Quais são as qualidades humanas que mais apreciam?

You don’t have to bomb them with each one of these fourth date questions right away.

After all, you don’t want this date to turn into a business interview or a police interrogation.

No entanto, deve ser suficientemente hábil para incorporar pelo menos algumas destas perguntas nas suas conversas, se quiser conhecer melhor o seu potencial parceiro.

Cada resposta pode dar-te uma melhor visão da sua personalidade e ajudar-te a criar uma ligação mais profunda entre vocês os dois.

Além disso, é possível saber muito sobre essa pessoa pela forma como ela reage às suas perguntas.

Estão completamente abertos e ansiosos por lhe dar as respostas, ou mudam de assunto assim que as coisas se tornam demasiado pessoais?

Are they the type who doesn’t mind sharing details of their life with you? Do they trust you enough to let you all the way in?

Or does it appear as if they’re hiding something? Does it seem that they’ve built thick walls around them and don’t plan on allowing anyone to tear them down?

When it comes to this meaningful conversation, it’s up to you not to be too nosy.

Show interest in their personality, but if you see that they’d rather avoid some topics, respect their privacy and don’t push them into talking about something they wish to keep for themselves.

Dormir juntos não é obrigatório

Quase todos os melhores especialistas em encontros dir-lhe-ão que o quarto encontro é importante.

And I’m not talking about defining things here only, but about the fact that this is the date on which most couples have sex together for the first time.

However, please don’t forget that you’re never mandated to do anything you’re not 100% comfortable doing and sure about.

Besides, just because most people tend to do something in a certain period of time, it doesn’t make it a fourth date regra da data you’re obligated to blindly obey.

Don’t feel as if you’re leading the other person on, even if you two made out the on the third date or have been texting about it but now you still don’t want to get laid.

All of us have a different pace when it comes to these things and nobody is allowed to tell for how long it’s okay to wait.

Esqueça ter relações sexuais just to please the other person and sleeping with them because you’re afraid of appearing old-fashioned.

If you see that they’re insisting (which can be considered a red flag) or if they just ask you to their place, be honest and ask them to wait.

Respect your boundaries and demand your partner to do the same. And if they refuse, it only means they’re not the one for you.

Mas se querem fazer sexo, façam-no

However, if you both feel like having sex, go for it. Don’t be scared of being too easy.

Don’t think about who will make the first move. Just follow your gut.

Nevertheless, don’t allow the physical attraction and the chemistry to be the only criteria, especially if you plan to keep on seeing this person.

Is this someone you’d also enjoy cuddling and waking up next to the morning after?

Estão a aproveitar-se de si só para vestir as calças? Está a fazer isto porque vê uma forma de os manter ao seu lado?

Depois de pensar em todas estas coisas e decidir que fazer sexo é a escolha certa, tente sentir a vibração da pessoa e esteja atento à sua linguagem corporal. Ela parece ter o mesmo desejo que você?

When you two hook up, make sure you’re not selfish in bed and pay attention to their needs as well.

However, don’t be scared to point out the things you’d enjoy being done differently – don’t forget about your pleasure either.

Also, remember that this is your first time together, so don’t expect perfection. It’s possible that you two may be clumsy or too nervous, and if that happens, don’t see it as a bad sign. Don’t write them off immediately; keep on trying until you make things better.

Quando se trata do seu lado perverso, don’t reveal your deepest fantasies right away.

Em vez disso, verifique a vossa compatibilidade sexual e tente descobrir lentamente se gostam de coisas semelhantes no quarto.

O mais importante é seguir os seus instintos e tentar não pensar demasiado quando tomar esta decisão.

Façam o vosso melhor para que esta experiência seja o mais agradável possível para ambos e dediquem o vosso máximo esforço.

Falem sobre as vossas histórias românticas

Entre outras coisas, o 4º encontro é também a altura em que um casal começa a falar sobre o passado da sua vida amorosa.

If you two talk about entering a new relationship, it’s natural to also speak about your romantic histories because they can reveal a lot about the way someone is as a partner.

This doesn’t mean that you have to go into the deepest details of your past relationships. This date shouldn’t be about your exes.

However, it’s good to know how long their most important relationships lasted, the most common reasons for their breakups and the type of people they dated in the past.

Quando foi a última vez que ambos tiveram uma relação a sério e como acabou.

Têm o hábito de continuar amigos dos seus ex ou costumam cortar todos os laços? São do tipo ciumento?

São normalmente eles que dão o primeiro passo ou esperam que a outra pessoa faça a maior parte do trabalho?

Besides helping you find out more about your date, these questions can also be a way for you to see whether you’re dealing with someone who has bagagem emocional que podem arruinar a vossa potencial relação.

Será que eles realmente romperam todos os laços com o seu passado ou você não passa de um ricochete?

Is there a special ex you should feel intimidated by? Do they have some regrets regarding their past and how did it shape them into becoming the people they’re today?

Quando se trata de falar sobre as suas relações anteriores, certifique-se de que fornece apenas as informações necessárias.

You don’t want your date to assume you miss your ex and can’t help but go on and on about them.

Also, don’t talk trash about your past partners and don’t mention any personal details about their lives.

Remember that these were your choices and therefore, if you spit on them, you’d be spitting on yourself too.

Torne-o num encontro divertido

Mais importante ainda, certifique-se de que esta e todas as outras noites são um encontro divertido.

Yes, consider it important, as it really is, but don’t spend the entire evening analyzing your partner’s every word and move.

Se precisar de alguns conselhos e ideias para um quarto encontro, basta pensar em tudo o que descobriu sobre o seu parceiro até agora.

If you can’t think of anything and you’ve met through Tinder, Bumble or some other online dating app, go back to their dating profile to remind yourself of their preferences and interests, and that’ll definitely help you plan a good date.

Seja qual for a ideia de quarto encontro que escolher, certifique-se de que se trata de uma atividade mais longa e, se possível, combine com o seu parceiro para passarem o dia inteiro juntos.

Por exemplo, fazer uma viagem de carro ou pensar numa série de ideias para encontros que durem o dia inteiro.