Uma carta para a rapariga que sobreviveu a um abuso narcisista

Passaste por momentos difíceis. Na verdade, tempos difíceis nem sequer é suficiente para o descrever. Passaste por um inferno.

O que viveste pode ser literalmente comparado ao inferno.

Talvez haja outras raparigas ou outras mulheres que tenham passado por algo semelhante, e talvez só elas a possam compreender.

But someone who hasn’t experienced the things you did can’t even begin to understand what happened to you.

You know, what happened to you doesn’t actually resemble anything anyone else ever went through.

Haverá algumas semelhanças entre algumas histórias, mas não há duas histórias iguais.

That’s why it hurts even more to try to tell your own story.

That’s why your heart breaks even more when they say they understand and then end up blaming you for staying so long.

They don’t understand, how could they possibly?

If they haven’t experienced it in their own skin, if they haven’t been in your head, if they haven’t cut your heart open to see what is in it and if they haven’t peeked into your soul to see the amount of fear you were feeling, they can’t possibly understand how or why you stayed so long.

Estava convencida de que era amada, que envolver-se com o seu algoz seria a melhor viagem da sua vida. Que com ele iria experimentar um amor de outro mundo.

You were told how you were one of a kind and how you were all he’d been looking for. You were promised eternal love, but all you got was eternal hell.

Nunca se sabia no que se estava a meter. Esperava o melhor, mas acabou por receber o pior.

And don’t fool yourself that you could’ve been smarter or more careful. You couldn’t.

Because your heart and your mind were never programmed to notice someone who’s really good at disguising. And your tormentor was excellent at disguising.

Ele parecia ser um tipo bom e carinhoso. Fazia tudo corretamente. Parecia ser demasiado bom para ser verdade.

He convinced you that he was the best you’d ever get and that he truly cared. It was one hell of a play he performed to get you hooked. And once you were all his, he changed.

He didn’t change all at once. He started changing little by little.

He shifted one thing at a time because he wanted to get you used to the pain bit by bit, so that once you saw his true face, you wouldn’t be surprised.

Ele tinha tudo planeado. Tinha o seu plano há muito preparado.

He did everything he could to trap you in his net and feed off of your pain. He knew you’d never leave since you were not that type of person.

Nunca deixamos aqueles que amamos, por muito que nos magoem.

You never give up. You’re the type of person who fights till her last breath and that’s exactly what he was counting on.

For so long, you’ve been asking yourself what it was that you did wrong. For so long, you’ve replayed memórias na tua cabeça para ver o que mais poderia ter sido feito para corrigir as coisas.

But there wasn’t anything else you could’ve done to make things right, since he wanted everything to go wrong for you.

The worst part isn’t the fact that you couldn’t let go. The worst part is that you struggled even after everything ended.

O pior é que, depois de ele ter acabado consigo, ainda lhe restavam vestígios de amor por ele.

It took you a while to escape him, but it took you even longer to accept the truth and what you’d been through in order to let go of the feelings that were running wild in you.

Mas mesmo quando escapou à sua rede tóxica, os sentimentos tóxicos que ele lhe tinha imprimido permaneceram mais tempo do que esperava.

You continued to apologize for everything, even when you knew there wasn’t anything you did wrong.

Continuou a pensar que tudo o que aconteceu de mau foi culpa suamesmo quando metade das coisas não têm nada a ver consigo.

Tinha medo de falar, de mostrar as suas emoções ou de se envolver com alguém.

Os sentimentos que ele continuou a projetar em si enquanto estavam juntos permaneceram muito tempo depois de ele ter acabado consigo.

Now that it’s all over you still blame yourself, but I promise you that none of what happened to you was your fault.

O seu algoz era demasiado sorrateiro para que se apercebesse de que algo ia correr mal.

So there wasn’t a thing you could’ve done differently. Stop beating yourself up about it. It is not your fault.

É preciso deixar de se ver como uma vítima quando se olha ao espelho.

Porque não és uma vítima. És um sobrevivente. Sobreviveste ao inferno. Reconhece isso. Deixa doer e depois deixa curar.

Okay, you’re a bit quebrado agora, but aren’t we all? Okay, you’re still scared, but aren’t we all a little bit scared?

None of this means your story ends here. It’s where it begins. Because the only way to go from the bottom is up.

Por isso, pára de fugir do teu passado. Pára de fugir do que aconteceu com ele.

Pára de guardar os teus sentimentos e de te atormentares por aquilo por que passaste.

Be proud that you’re still standing after the hell you’ve been through and don’t be ashamed of your wounds and scars because they are the proof of your battles and proof that you’re a true warrior.