6 razões honestas para não me querer apaixonar
Quando as pessoas me perguntam porquê I’ve been single for so long and when I tell them that I don’t want to fall in love, they are usually shocked. In fact, many think that I’m lying to cover up the fact that I can’t find a partner.
Well, guess what? I’m being completely honest. The truth is that I don’t want to fall in love and here is why.
1. I’ve been hurt in the past
I won’t lie to you; I’ve been feridas no passado and that’s why I don’t want to fall in love again.
As minhas mágoas deixaram consequências inarredáveis na minha saúde emocional e mental. O meu coração foi partido mais vezes do que posso contar.
So, you might as well say that I’m scared of falling in love again.
A última coisa que eu quero neste momento é dar a outro homem a oportunidade de brincar comigo e de me dar outra dor de cabeça.
I’m not ready to put myself out there. I’m not willing to take a chance or to risk getting crushed all over again.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone will be the same as my exes.
However, I’m too much of a coward to give anyone an opportunity to come into my life just so he can end up destroying it.
Maybe along the way I’ve become incapable of loving. Maybe all those toxic men destroyed my faith in love.
Alguns poderão dizer que o verdadeiro amor vale todos os riscos.
However, if we’re being honest, there is a much bigger chance of running into someone who will break your heart than into someone who will fix it.
The truth is that I don’t want to fall in love again when my wounds are still wide open and pretty fresh.
2. Carrego muita bagagem emocional
Another reason why I don’t want to fall in love is the bagagem emocional Ando sempre comigo.
Quer eu queira quer não, esta bagagem emocional arruinaria todos os meus novos romances.
In fact, they wouldn’t even have a chance to end up healthy. They’d be based on lies and deceptions.
It’s not that I still have romantic feelings for someone from my past, I’m just haunted by the demons of my previous relationships. My emotional baggage is weighing me down.
It’s a burden that is always present on my chest.
Não é assim que quero entrar na minha próxima relação. É que quero estar completamente curada antes de deixar entrar alguém novo.
Afinal, seria completamente injusto arrastar outro homem para os meus próprios problemas e traumas.
I don’t know whether I could give myself to him fully while I’m still broken.
I don’t want to lead him on or use him as my rebound, as that way, I would be the same as those men who hurt me in the past.
Besides, I don’t need a man to heal me and to help me fix my broken heart. Instead, I want to do it by myself.
Até que isso aconteça, vou impedir-me de me apaixonar.
3. Quero concentrar-me em mim próprio
Call me selfish but I don’t want to fall in love because I want to focus on myself. I think that this is the period in my life which should be reserved for self-improvement.
I don’t want to waste my precious time and energy on chasing some guy, having relationship dramas or suffering after a break-up.
Em vez disso, quero investir todas as minhas capacidades para me tornar um melhor pessoa e a melhor versão possível de mim próprio.
Este é o período em que me quero concentrar completamente na minha educação e nos meus cuidados pessoais. Quero trabalhar em mim própria, encontrar novos passatempos, ler e descobrir coisas novas sobre a minha personalidade.
O período em que quero viajar, explorar novos sítios e culturas e em que quero aprender.
Este é o período em que quero pôr a minha vida em ordem.
Este é o período em que me quero transformar numa mulher autossuficiente e independente que tem tudo o que precisa.
Into an emotionally and financially stable woman who doesn’t wait for a man to provide for her.
Basically, I want to be content with the person I’m becoming and I want to give it my maximum.
4. Gosto da minha vida de solteiro
To be honest, I don’t feel the need for an emotional partner because I have an awesome time by myself. I’m not lonely and I don’t feel alone in this world.
I couldn’t care less about social norms. I don’t care whether people are talking behind my back, commenting that it’s time for me to finally settle down.
Going to events without a plus-one doesn’t bother me. Spending Valentine’s Day by myself doesn’t concern me.
After all, just because I am not in love, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have anyone to talk to or to share my life with.
Tenho os meus amigos, a minha família e, acima de tudo, tenho-me a mim próprio.
In fact, I’m happy with my peace. Even though I’m not claiming that romantic relationships are all about fights, the truth is that I’m better off without unnecessary arguments.
Also, I love that I don’t have to compromise with anyone.
I love the fact that I can do whatever I feel like, without having a partner I should consult or agree with. With the fact that I don’t answer to anyone but myself.
Yes, in this case, I’m the only one who carries all the responsibility for my life.
However, it’s easier that way; I’m the only one making the decisions and the only suffering for my wrong choices.
5. I’m not into modern dating
Maybe I wouldn’t be running from love this much if I had been lucky enough to be born in a different era. In an era when people were honest and trustworthy.
Se eu tivesse nascido nos tempos antigos, quando se sabia qual era a nossa posição desde o primeiro dia, onde se podia confiar num homem quando ele dizia que nos amava. Numa época em que existiam cavalheiros que faziam todas as raparigas sentirem-se especiais.
The truth is that another crucial reason why I don’t want a relationship is the encontros modernos practices that I don’t fancy.
É que quase relações, engates casuais e encontros de uma noite não são a minha praia.
I can’t separate my body from my heart and mind so I know it is impossible for me to stay emotionally detached from a man I spend time with.
Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I judge those who like these things but it’s just not something I feel comfortable doing.
I’m an old-fashioned type of gal. I need a man who will court me and who will wait for me to be ready for the next step of our relationship.
Besides, I’m not someone who gets along well with mixed signals or hot and cold games and I can’t cope with ghosting or unlabelled relationships.
6. I don’t want to lower my standards
People tend to tell me that I’m demasiado exigente quando se trata de homens. Bem, a verdade é que eu sei exatamente o que e quem eu quero.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a perfect man. After all, I know that I have my share of flaws and I’m perfectly aware of them.
No entanto, se me apaixonar, quero que seja por alguém que cumpra os meus padrões, que me recuso a baixar.
I’ve worked hard to build myself into the person that I am today and I’m not ready to settle for less than I deserve.
Besides, I want a real, mature man, I don’t want a project.
I don’t want a boy I’ll have to raise or guide through life, a toxic guy who won’t see my worth or will be intimidated by it or someone who is not ambitious enough to become a better person and to make something out of his life.
Therefore, I don’t want to fall in love with you if you’re not a grown man who knows how to treat a lady right.
De facto, eu preferia permanecer solteiro forever than to be with a guy who is not what I’m looking for.
Guess what? I’m not the only one who refuses to fall in love.
De facto, há tantas pessoas por aí que se sentem exatamente como eu, que até há canções que falam da minha luta.
Actually, while I was writing this article, I couldn’t help but listen to the Don’t Wanna Fall In Love lyrics from a single by the great singer Jane Child from Canada, released in the late 1980s, together with a music video accompanying it.
Recentemente, outro grande cantor, KYLE, dos Estados Unidos, fez uma remistura desta fantástica canção, que foi produzida por M-Phazes.
É mais ou menos assim:
It’s just I don’t want to fall in love. (Nope.) Love cuts just like a knife. (That’s right.) You make the knife feel good. (So good, so good.) I’ll fight you till the end.
