7 razões inegáveis pelas quais os homens reagem ao silêncio e à distância
As mulheres são de Vénus, os homens são de Marte. As mulheres respondem à comunicação e à honestidade e os homens respondem ao silêncio e à distância.
Isto é verdade e, em caso afirmativo, porquê?
Whether you’re starting a new relationship or have been in one for a while now, you might be having the struggle of communication vs. distance in your relationship.
Nesta situação, é você que quer resolver todas as questões com palavras, enquanto o seu homem está a tentar evitar os problemas. Quanto mais o pressiona, mais ele se distancia.
Have you ever thought of not talking? There’s a relationship rule out there that can work wonders if used correctly.
Pode ser aplicado a casais em dificuldades ou a relações que acabaram de terminar e em que um dos parceiros quer o outro de volta.
Esta maravilha chama-se regra de não contacto .
O que é o regra de não contacto de qualquer forma?
Dependendo da sua situação, esta regra pode ser aplicada de diferentes formas.
If you’ve just broken up, you’ll want to apply the good old classic no contact rule where you don’t contact your ex AT ALL for a month or even longer.
You simply don’t send him text messages , call him on the phone, or respond to his social media posts. And when he contacts you, you don’t answer.
If you haven’t broken up but want some issues resolved, you might want to apply the less intense version where you simply don’t contact him first but wait for him to make a true effort before you start responding to his messages.
Como funciona e O que é que ele está a pensar quando não há contacto? period? Let’s find out.
7 maneiras de o seu silêncio o quebrar
Fá-lo pensar que pode perder-te
Antes de decidir dar-lhe a provar o tratamento do silêncio, talvez ele nunca tenha a ideia de te perder. It’s very possible that he took you for granted.
Estava completamente comprometido com ele e desejoso de resolver todos os seus problemas, fazendo da conversa a sua melhor ferramenta.
Por vezes, isso até o fazia sentir-se sufocado e como se você estivesse a esforçar-se muito mais do que ele, o que o fazia acreditar que você se preocupava mais do que ele.
Once you begin saving your words and showing him that the version of you that’s always passionate about comunicante your problems is not something to feel bothered by, but something to hope for, he’ll start realizing he made a mistake.
Not talking to him will make him think that there’s a chance of losing you – something he never even thought about before.
Começa a pensar no que aconteceu no passado
He will start examining everything that happened in your relationship. It suddenly won’t be too much effort for him to analyze the situations that were the cause of the problem for you two.
He’ll be thinking about what kind of person he was and you were in your relationship.
For the first time , he’ll start overthinking and burdening himself with actually trying to figure out what happened and what mistakes he made.
He’ll make conclusions about what he could’ve done differently, and how the course of your relationship would’ve changed if he was smart enough to do the right thing.
At this point, he’ll realize that he should’ve appreciated your words and passion for solving issues immediately more, because your silence and distance bugs him.
Desafia a sua rotina
Antes de decidir aplicar o tratamento de silêncio ou a regra de não contacto, ele tinha um certo padrão de resposta aos problemas da vossa relação.
I’m not going to get into what those patterns were, but you are probably well accustomed to them by now.
This time, when your reaction is completely different, he won’t know what to do. Suddenly, nothing he used to do before will make sense and he’ll be left speechless.
He’ll struggle to find new ways to respond to this new regime you’ve decided to implement.
P.S. If there’s absolutely no response on his side, he’s either completely uninterested in you or doesn’t even realize there’s something wrong.
If either of these is the case, there’s a good chance he’s the wrong person for you.
Ele tem tempo para sentir a tua falta
Silêncio fazer um homem sentir a sua falta , you’re wondering? It absolutely does.
Esta é uma das principais razões pelas quais os homens reagem ao silêncio e à distância.
Se estava sempre por perto, ele nunca teve a oportunidade de sentir a sua falta. Por muito que alguém nos ame, por vezes é necessário algum tempo de separação para reacender a paixão na relação.
Think of all the ways you made him feel taken care of and secure… way too secure. Now that you’re not right by his side ready to be as involved in his life as he allows you to be, he misses you.
He’ll be thinking about all the things you did together and every benefit that your presence brought into his life.
He maybe won’t feel like this for the first couple of days, but as time passes, he’ll realize he needs you, and that’s why it’s important to go through the distance and tratamento silencioso tempo suficiente.
Isso confunde-o
He’ll be wondering what got into you. Wait a minute, weren’t you the type of girl who always talked so much, calling and texting him all the time?
Where did all the ” I love you ” messages go? Where did all the “Good morning” calls disappear to?
He’ll be completely confused with the new ways things are working.
A lot of times he’ll start contacting you, but even then it’s important to remain cold. If you rush to answer his first call, you’re just showing him that’s all it takes to get you back.
Long story short, he’ll be intrigued and shaken, and you should leave him feeling like that.
Quanto menos ele sabe, mais ele se pergunta
After a couple of weeks , he won’t know what you’re up to, where you are and with whom, and that will drive him insane.
He probably used to know everything about your whereabouts and plans, and now he’s left completely in the dark.
He’ll constantly wonder what you’re doing, if you’ve made any major changes in your life, and what’s happening with you.
Are you sad? Are you lonely? Are you actually super happy without him? He’ll start secretly plotting ways to “accidentally” run into you just so he can satisfy his curiosity.
Ele fica zangado e emotivo
There’s a very good chance he’ll try to contact you, and once ignora os seus textos or calls he’ll get super upset. And no wonder – his ego is hurt and he’ll go looking for ways to prove that he can have you.
Embora esta não seja a emoção com que todas as raparigas sonham quando querem conquistar um rapaz, funciona.
In romantic relationships , especially early and immature ones, there’s often a power struggle. This time, you’re proving yourself more powerful and that drives him crazy.
Also, it shows him that there is a side of you that he could appreciate, a girl who cares about herself more than anyone else and won’t let a man play with her heart.
These are the seven ways you’ll know your tratamento silencioso is working on him, but… if you don’t hear from him, how will you know what he’s going through?
Don’t worry, there are ways to know your plan is working by what happens to you during that period.
4 coisas que te vão acontecer
You’ll discover the benefits of independence
If you do this correctly, you’ll have all this newfound time and energy for yourself. You’ll be surprised how many things you can get done (and enjoy) if you pay less attention to him.
You’ll rediscover who you were in the first place , before even meeting him, and this will be so refreshing to you.
You’ll learn to let go of negativity
After so much overthinking, overanalyzing, trying to solve your issues, you’ll finally be carefree.
When you choose the silent treatment as your way of dealing with things, you’ll suddenly feel like you can easily let go of negativity and welcome positivity into your life.
You’ll feel stronger, smarter, better… Everything that was driving you insane for weeks/months/years will now be a part of your past and the only thing on your agenda will be to take care of yourself.
Tornar-se-á mais fácil perdoar e esquecer
Once you distance yourself from a stressful situation, it’s so much easier for you to think more clearly.
You’ll feel that everything that happened between you and your partner somehow makes sense and that realization will make you feel relieved.
You’ll start focusing on yourself
You’ll need to get him out of your head and start doing things that make you happy.
Maybe you’ll go back to an old hobby, start reading or exercising again, go out more with your girlfriends – whatever it is, it will make you feel like you’re finally tu .
Já não precisa de pensar no que o seu homem sente ou pensa, apenas no que fazer a seguir para se sentir feliz e excitada. Definitivamente concentrar-se em si próprio ; that’s your way to success.
No matter how hard you think you’re trying, there’s always a chance that what you’re doing won’t work.
Existem alguns erros comuns que a maioria das raparigas comete, e cometer um deles diminui seriamente as suas hipóteses de sucesso.
5 erros que deve evitar durante Sem contacto
Esperar ver resultados imediatos
You might be too impatient to see the results and hope to see them the very same day you start the silent treatment . That’s impossible.
Think of it as a diet, just because you ate super healthy and exercised for a couple of days, it doesn’t mean your body will immediately change. It takes time.
In the same way, it’ll take him time to go through all the phases of dealing with what you’re doing, so he can realize what’s happening and react.
If you get too excited about seeing results too soon, you’ll end up making mistake number two as well.
A ficar muito desesperado
If you don’t see results you’re hoping for soon enough, you might get desperate thinking that the method doesn’t work and go back to your old bad habits.
Again, it’s just like a diet.
If you don’t see you’re losing weight, you either go back to eating unhealthy foods and no exercise, or you drown yourself in doubt and negativity, thinking you’ll never lose weight, which slows down your progress.
Nas relações, isto traduz-se em voltar a telefonar-lhe e a enviar-lhe mensagens, ou comentar os seus posts nas redes sociais ou se começa a pensar que não é amável e que nunca encontrará o homem certo para si.
O desespero não nos leva a lado nenhum. Lembra-te de te manteres positivo.
Pensar constantemente nele
This definitely won’t work if you only cut out the communication part. For this whole period of time, you have to try to stop thinking about him altogether.
If you’re obsessing over where he is and what’s he doing, there’s no chance you’ll get through this. The whole process will feel like wicked emotional abuse and way too forced to be successful.
Concentre-se em si próprio, nas suas próprias necessidades e em preencher o tempo com actividades benéficas.
Tentar fazer-lhe ciúmes
Pensar ativamente em formas de o magoar e fazer-lhe ciúmes won’t work. That’s something that should be left for immature kids who don’t know how to behave in relationships.
He’ll probably easily see through your act and the whole plan will backfire.
Repetir acontecimentos passados
It isn’t your job to be thinking all over again about what happened – that you should leave to him.
Se começar a pensar demasiado nos problemas do passado, pode chegar a conclusões erradas porque tem saudades dele e o quer de volta.
Este é o teu caminho para o fracasso e tu sabes disso.
Even if you do everything perfectly, there are always exceptions to the rule. Some men, depending on the circumstances, simply won’t respond to this kind of treatment.
3 Kinds Of Men Who Won’t Respond To The Tratamento Silencioso
A man who’s been hurt
If you’re the one who broke his heart and hurt his feelings, you can’t expect the silent treatment to work.
If you want to make things work with him, you have to show patience, because not contacting him will only prove that you’re not good for him, which isn’t your goal.
Um homem inseguro
Because of his insecurities, he’ll be thinking he doesn’t deserve you. He’ll be afraid of rejection and won’t contact you so he doesn’t have to face the feeling.
He’ll take your silence as proof that he should stop hoping to be with you, even if he’s the one who made mistakes that led you to use this method.
A man who’s really, really stubborn
He won’t contact you because he’s way too proud. And even if he does, he’ll act like the above-mentioned kind of guy who only contacts you to make a point that he can have you.
Para ele, tudo é uma luta pelo poder e ele castigar-te-á por seres frio para com ele, tornando-te ainda mais frio para contigo.
Tratamento silencioso no casamento
Marriage is something that needs constant work on both sides. The no contact rule obviously can’t apply here, the same way it’s very hard to apply to long-distance relationships .
If you’re having marital issues, the following advice is what I believe is best for you:
You can’t stop communicating with your partner completely so the “don’ t talk to him” segment of the rule doesn’t apply to you.
What you should try is to stop negative comments, nagging, asking him to do stuff for you, lecturing, yelling… and everything similar to that. You’d be surprised how beneficial this can be for your marriage.
If you’re having problems that are truly worrying and big, I strongly advise contacting a marriage counselor and asking for their professional advice.
To wrap up…
In my point of view , there’s no way that one method can work for everyone. Think thoroughly about your situation and decide on what to do.
While men respond to silence and distance, it’s important to find a way to use that which will be effective for you personally.
Em suma, o seu objetivo é resolver os problemas e não magoar-se a si ou a ele. Tenha sempre isso em mente.
