Dê-lhe espaço: 12 maneiras de evitar o medo de o perder

Quer saber como lhe dar espaço, mas sem correr o risco de o perder no processo? Está no sítio certo.

Tal como em qualquer relação romântica real e duradoura, pode chegar uma altura em que as coisas de repente parecem não estar bem.

Ele pode começar a agir de forma distante, as coisas que normalmente pareciam estar bem são tudo menos isso, e a relação entre os dois parece estar um pouco quebrada.

O seu homem is acting differently, but you just can’t seem to figure out what the hell is going on.

Is it you? Is it something you did or is he simply struggling with something internally and he doesn’t know how to handle it right?

Quando a comunicação não é saudável e um dos parceiros age fora das suas normas sem dar uma explicação válida para o seu comportamento, a relação pode ser afetada.

Sente que ele precisa de espaço e quer mesmo dar-lha, mas teme que ele goste demasiado e que se vá embora. Então, o que é que faz?

How do you give him the space that he clearly needs, yet at the same time, still make sure he knows you’re there for him, and you desperately want to get to the bottom of whatever is bugging him? How to know what your o homem quer de si?

The first thing that’s important to note here is that guys handle their problems much differently from women.

Normalmente, gostam de se afastar um pouco e tratar dos seus assuntos internamente.

Entregam-se aos seus trabalhos um pouco mais do que o habitual, como forma de se distraírem do que os incomoda.

They don’t like to hash it over too much, and they rely on their own abilities to solve their issues. Men are just wired differently.

As dificuldades emocionais não são fáceis de enfrentar, por isso, quando começam a sentir a tensão de tudo isto, manifestam-na de formas que podem ser prejudiciais para as suas relações românticas.

They usually don’t mean to be that way; it’s just a result of their inability to cope with their issues openly and honestly like women do.

Ouve, infelizmente, tu can’t change como o seu parceiro é. Ele é quem é, e você precisa de aceitar isso como parte dele e perceber que não tem nada a ver consigo.

Everybody has their own way of working out their issues, and you cannot control what happens in somebody’s head and how they react to things and resolve them.

Mas o que se pode controlar é como tu reagir a elas.

Pode optar por deixar que estas coisas o afectem de uma forma negativa, sentar-se calmamente e amuar, ou pode lidar com eles como a mulher adulta que é e tente fazer com que o processo de lhe dar o espaço que ele tanto deseja seja o menos doloroso possível.

É provável que seja apenas uma fase e que passe. Ele vai encontrar uma saída para o seu dilema emocional e pedirá desculpa depois por ter deixado que isso afectasse a vossa relação.

You are going to realize that you’ve made a big deal out of nothing, and you’ll be perfectly fine and secure in what you have.

Don’t always trust your head when it goes into panic mode. Sometimes it’s just a little glitch, and it’s only a matter of time before things get resolved.

Don’t panic if you feel like you need to give him some space. That can actually prove to be healthy for your relationship in the long run.

He is going to realize what a great woman he has by his side—one that selflessly lets him deal with his stuff without nagging, and espera por ele with zero judgment when he’s back to his old self.

Nobody’s perfect, and we all go through our own shit. What really matters is how you choose to come out of it.

Dê-lhe o espaço de que ele precisa, mas faça tudo o que for preciso para se manter com um espírito positivo durante todo o processo.

Aqui estão 12 maneiras de lhe dar espaço, com o mínimo risco de o perder:

Dê-lhe espaço e afaste-se um pouco

A forma mais óbvia, mas mais eficaz, de lhe dar algum espaço é fazer exatamente isso.

Accept that this is how it is at this very moment and adjust. Don’t text him all the time, and don’t call too much.

If he isn’t texting you first, don’t initiate conversation every single day because that is the exact opposite of what you’ve promised him.

Se está a pensar no que o seu homem quer neste momento, ouça o seu instinto.

Even if you think you will never be able to help him, the next day you won’t think like that.

Let him figure it all out, and don’t pry too much. I understand it’s extremely difficult backing off from aquele que amas, but just remember that you’re doing it all for the sake of your relationship.

Se continuares a comportar-te assim, ele acabará por voltar. E esse era o teu plano desde o início, certo?

Let him know you’ll be spending time with your best friend on Saturday, so if he has no plans, you can have brunch on Sunday, but don’t pressure him.

Be casual and chill. He should see you as a source of support and not somebody who can’t dar-lhe um pouco de tempo para si próprio when that’s all he really needs.

It’s going to be tricky not receiving that texto de boa noite from him every night, but it’s crucial that you keep to your word and make him see he can trust you. It’s all going to be okay in the end.

Be supportive of his struggles, respect his space, and let him know that whenever he’s ready, you’re here to talk it all out and figure out where you stand.

Concentre-se em si própria e deixe de arranjar desculpas para o contactar

If you’ve made a conscious decision to give him space, do just that. You don’t need to make ridiculous excuses to text and call at all times because he will see right through them.

If you keep badgering him after promising to step away for a bit, he’s going to feel pressured and attacked, and it can only negatively affect how things will continue after this.

No, he didn’t forget that you exist, and no, he is not going to get used to a life without you because that is not the point of it all.

The point is that he figures himself out—alone. That’s why you should give him the boyfriend space he craves so much.

No final do dia, ele pensará de uma forma diferente e poderá voltar para si antes de pensar que isso é possível.

Não tem nada a ver consigo ou com qualquer outro terceiro.

He is going to reach out when he’s ready, and you’ll talk then. If he doesn’t call you today, it doesn’t mean he won’t call you the next day.

Mantenha a positividade e as coisas acabarão por ser melhores do que pensava.

Anything else is just too needy and insecure, and you know that’s not quem és ou como queres que ele te veja.

Também deve ser capaz de desfrutar da sua vida sozinho. Há tantas coisas para ver e tanto para fazer, por isso concentra-te em tudo isso e o tempo voará!

When you’re focused on the positives and choose to see the beauty in everything, it usually translates into real life.

Mantém o ânimo e encontra sempre um motivo para sorrir!

Nada de perseguições nas redes sociais!

Isto é contraproducente para lhe dar espaço. Não estás no liceu, a enviar-lhe mensagens de amor e a perguntar-lhe quando é que ele te vai ver.

Trata-se de uma situação grave, que deve ser tratada em conformidade.

It may seem innocent enough, but if you can’t peel your eyes off his Facebook and Instagram accounts, you’re going to make yourself go mad. The no contact rule is a lifesaver in situations like this.

Seja paciente e dê-lhe espaço para pensar em tudo.

Don’t stalk him. Don’t keep tabs on who he’s following, whose photos he liked, and the comments he might have posted on somebody’s video. Don’t even try to be sweet and cute by saying ‘hi’ on Snapchat. I

know a lot of women would do something like this, but now you know that it isn’t the right thing.

Por muito que o desejes, desiste de lhe enviar mensagens. Porque, se passar tanto tempo concentrada nele, vai perder toda a diversão da sua vida.

Don’t mess with your head by imagining scenarios that aren’t real, based on what you see on his redes sociais perfis.

Just because he went out with his friends the night before, does not mean he’s not struggling.

All it means is he needed a breather. Sympathize with that, and don’t judge.

Lembre-se que está a deixá-lo sozinho durante algum tempo porque ele precisa de espaço. Se ele gosta de passar tempo com certas pessoas, aceite isso.

As I’ve already mentioned, people deal with their issues in their own ways. Nobody is right or wrong here. We’re all just finding our way.

Don’t overanalyze things, and keep an open mind. Nobody said it would be easy, but do your best to keep a level head.

Só está a piorar a sua situação. Portanto, nada de redes sociais e nada de perseguições.

Deixe as coisas correrem ao seu próprio ritmo e confie no seu homem. Confia em mim, no final do dia vais ficar muito orgulhosa de ti própria se conseguires lidar com tudo desta forma.

Don’t interrogate him

Don’t go into it too aggressively. You don’t know the real reasons why your man is pulling away. Maybe he has some issues he doesn’t want to share with you.

Não se esqueça que nem ele sabe o que raio se passa na sua cabeça, por isso as suas 20 perguntas não vão fazer ninguém sentir-se melhor.

The hardest part is not taking it personally. All you want to know is why he isn’t talking to you and why he can’t just confide in you. What did you do?

And that’s your first mistake. You didn’t do anything. This is his internal problem and he is the only one who can fix it for himself.

You can’t do anything until he takes the initiative and works on his own shit.

Dêem-lhe espaço e vejam o que acontece a seguir. Pense nisto desta forma.

If you were mentally (or in any other way) struggling with something but you didn’t really want to talk about it, how would it make you feel if he invaded your personal space and didn’t give you a second to figure it out by yourself?

Não é assim tão agradável, não é verdade? Por isso, não se esqueça disso sempre que o quiser atormentar com perguntas e exercer pressão desnecessária sobre ele.

If you’re going to give him space, try to respect that, and let him come to you when ele está pronto.

Acredite em mim, a pior coisa que pode acontecer é obrigá-lo a fazer coisas para as quais não está preparado.

Don’t chase after him

What’s the point? If he’s going to find his way back, he’s going to do it on his own.

If he chooses someone else, it is okay as well. Love can’t be forced, so why try in the first place?

Don’t make him feel suffocated and pressured into making a decision before he’s ready.

Don’t spend so much time focusing on him. I know a lot of women do this, but I am begging you not to do it. Trust me, it won’t bring you where you want to be. Just do your own thing in your own space.

Don’t resort to any grand gestures or ways to chamar a sua atenção.

That is below you. You know him better than anyone, so you know how that’s going to make him feel.

Mantém a cabeça erguida e as esperanças ainda mais altas.

If you feel like texting him, just think about it. Will it help you to make him run into your arms? I don’t think so.

Persegui-lo vai fazer o contrário do que pretende. Vai afastá-lo ainda mais e é muito pouco provável que ele queira voltar.

Don’t make yourself seem desperate and incapable of being on your own.

Não é uma caraterística atractiva e deve ficar bem sozinho durante algum tempo.

Just leave the situation as it is, and don’t try to impact the way things turn out. It’s not up to you.

Just have faith he’ll come back to you, and keep yourself preoccupied in the process. Trust me, no contact is what both of you need right now!

Quit thinking you’re losing him

I know it’s stronger than you and that it’s hard to control the scenarios your mind creates. But that is the worst thing that you can do now.

It’s daunting, imagining what he’s up to and what he’s doing without you, but please, quit thinking the worst.

Yes, it’s a fair possibility that he might leave. But giving him his guy space is a must because that is the only way he can stay alone with his thoughts.

Infelizmente, o facto de ele optar por ficar sozinho é um resultado possível e deve estar preparada para isso. Mas nada é definitivo.

That is merely the worst case scenario, and guess what? You’ll survive if it comes to it!

Se continuar a entrar em modo de pânico, pode ser apenas o seu medo a vir à superfície e a levar a melhor sobre si.

It is normal to fear losing your partner, but just because it scares you, doesn’t mean you can’t superá-lo.

If you can’t help but be a complete and total wreck, perhaps this is not the healthiest relationship for you. Just think about that.

True love doesn’t make you feel nauseated. It doesn’t create twisted scenarios in your head and play jogos mentais convosco.

And most importantly, love doesn’t make you feel insecure. It makes you feel safe, protected, and secure in what you have.

Se se sente mal quando ele está por perto e quando não está, isso significa que ele não é a pessoa certa para si. Talvez fosse muito mais feliz com outra pessoa.

Even during a “timeout,” you wouldn’t be going through this.

Think about that while you’re on your own and try to figure out what it is that’s really scaring you.

E lembre-se que é você que gere a sua própria vida e que lhe é permitido tomar todas as decisões que considere correctas.

Deslocar a sua energia para si próprio

A repetição constante de tudo isto na sua cabeça vai drenar toda a sua energia e positividade.

Thinking about the reasons why men pull away won’t help you to bring your man back.

You’re going to be left jaded and frustrated. Stop while you’re still you! Focus on yourself. Your world is so much bigger than that one person!

I know he’s not just anyone and he’s extremely important to you, but so are many other people, yourself included!

While you’re giving him space, do the same for yourself. Don’t contact him, don’t send text messages and don’t go to places he might be.

Try to find what it is that keeps you happy when he’s not around.

Descubra quais são as suas paixões e de onde vem o seu entusiasmo pela vida.

Concentre-se nos seus sentimentos. Tente colocar-se no lugar mais saudável possível, mental e emocionalmente.

Try to just close your eyes, wash those worries away, and appreciate what’s around you.

Passe o seu tempo livre com os seus melhores amigos e concentre-se mais neles e em si próprio.

It’s really easy to be happy; all you need to do is give it a shot! He is special, and he is amazing, but so are you, and so is the rest of your world.

Encontrar a vossa felicidade noutros sítios, e de repente sentir-se-á um milhão de quilos mais leve.

Aconteça o que acontecer, sabe que vais ficar bem

Remember all those things you didn’t think you’d ever survive? Well, look at you now! Alive, healthy, and thriving! This is the exact same thing.

It may seem like losing him could be the end of the world, but it’s really not.

Even if you did lose him, you’d find your way back to happiness again.

What’s important to know is that you do not need another person to feel whole.

Só precisa de um pouco de espaço para organizar os seus pensamentos e, ao mesmo tempo, dar-lhe algum espaço masculino. Confie em mim, este é o melhor conselho que pode receber numa relação.

You’re already a complete, functioning human being all by yourself. Nothing can change that.

Once you are able to be happy and fulfilled when you’re on your own, only then will you be truly ready for whatever may come your way.

While you’re waiting to see if he can find his way back to you, keep your thoughts positive.

Tu és o único responsável pela tua própria vida e só tu podes fazer com que te sintas bem na tua pele.

Make yourself aware that you’ve already survived so much, and you can handle this as well.

So if he chooses a different path, you’ll be ready and able to cope with it in a healthy way.

And if he comes back, you’ll know that you don’t necessidade para que sejas feliz, mas adoras que ele te mantenha assim.

Have faith that things always end up the way they’re supposed to

Just because he seems perfect and your relationship is making you so happy, doesn’t necessarily mean that he is perfect for tu.

Ele ainda pode ser um bom rapaznão é bom para ti. Confia que tudo se resolverá pelo melhor.

If he can’t seem to find his way back and decides to break it off with you, have some faith that this is how it’s supposed to be.

A guy who is right for you would never leave and decide that you’re not destinado a ser together, don’t you think?

You can’t control how a person feels. When he’s not where you are, it’s only fair to let him go.

Let him find what’s right for him, and give yourself a chance to find somebody who will never leave.

Right now, it’s difficult to see this as a fact because you are too emotionally invested, but one day down the line, you’re going to realize that this was in fact true.

When enough time has passed, and when you’re with somebody new who can appreciate you and make you feel secure, you’re going to see how you’re supposed to feel beside the one who’s right for you.

And then, you’ll never let your mind play tricks on you again. People who are meant to be will always gravitate towards each other.

Uma boa relação é difícil de desenvolver, pelo que deve ter paciência suficiente se quiser ser feliz no amor.

You can’t change how somebody feels, no matter how hard you try

If your man is going through some serious issues and he is really taking his time, accept that you can’t just change how he feels.

Don’t interrogate him about why men pull away and why he is acting like that.

Ele é o único que tem o poder de se sentir melhor.

Ele só precisa de um pouco de espaço para organizar os seus pensamentos e pensar no que vai fazer a seguir.

Alguns rapazes enfrentam coisas destas no liceu, enquanto outros as enfrentam quando já são completamente maduros.

It sucks, and it’s so frustrating, but all you can really do is just give him space, take a step back, and hope it all works out in your favor.

Espero que consigas recuperar o teu homem e que nunca mais tenhas de passar por isto.

But at the same time, if things just don’t go the way you want them to, that is okay, too.

Sometimes things need to fall apart in order for you to see what’s really adequado para si.

Por vezes, deixar de lado o que parece bom para si é exatamente o que precisa para ver o que realmente é.

Never force anything. That is not the foundation upon which you want to base your relationship. If it’s not working out, let it go.

Enquanto está ocupada a encontrar formas de o fazer regressar, a vida passa-lhe ao lado.

Open your eyes to it, and you just might find what you’re looking for.

De que serve ter uma excelente relação com outra pessoa quando se tem uma excelente relação consigo próprio?

Pergunte a si próprio que tipo de relação quer realmente ter

O tipo de homem que precisa muito de espaço é alguém com quem quer mesmo estar?

Gosta de como se sente ao estar com uma pessoa que não tem a certeza sobre si e sobre o tempo que passam juntos? Pensa nisso por um segundo.

Giving him space is a noble gesture, and sometimes it’s what’s needed, but if he is taking his time, and he demands space more than just that one time, is he really somebody you want to be with?

Is it possible that maybe you’re just not right for each other? That does not have to be the case at all, but if it’s in the least bit possible, it’s worth thinking about.

Que tipo de homem procuras? Vê isso nele?

Se a resposta for sim, então esperem por ele e mantenham a vossa fé.

But if he is leaving you uncomfortable and insecure, perhaps you’re not as happy as you’d like while estar com ele.

Analise as suas opções, pergunte a si próprio o que quer de uma relação e procure exatamente isso.

Passar tempo com pessoas que o fazem feliz

Esta é a oportunidade perfeita para passar tempo de qualidade com aqueles que tornam a sua vida um pouco melhor e o fazem rir um pouco mais.

Don’t forget about your family and friends. While he is searching for his way back, you focus on other people that you cherish in life.

Go on a night out with your besties, and put your worries to the side! Go visit your family if they don’t leave nearby, and spend a weekend unwinding with them.

Dê um passeio pela cidade, sente-se num parque e leia um bom livro.

Mas façam o que fizerem, don’t send him any text messages quando se fica sozinho. Isso vai estragar tudo.

E sim, isto é algo que todos os treinadores de relações aconselham, o que faz com que seja um dos melhores conselhos sobre relações.

Pôr a conversa em dia com velhos amigos you may have neglected a bit. You’ll see how little it takes to just ser feliz!

And then, whatever he decides, you’ll be able to handle it all right, knowing you have an amazing support system around you that’s not going to let you wander in sorrow.

Isto também o lembrará de como é amado e de como as pessoas gostam de si.

A sua autoestima voltará ao topo e a sua alma simplesmente florescerá.