Ele não me leva a sério: 9 razões para isso (e o que fazer)
Ele toma-me por garantido. Esta é, sem dúvida, uma das frases mais populares que circulam há algum tempo.
Is he seriously taking you for granted? That’s a serious accusation to make, and you shouldn’t make it without the solid proof he is really doing that.
Infelizmente, colocar alguém no Plano B acontece muito mais nas relações modernas. Quer queiramos admiti-lo ou não, a síndrome da relva mais verde tornou-se o maior destruidor de relações.
Esta é uma das razões pelas quais o facto de tomar alguém por garantido se infiltra numa relação outrora feliz.
Para se tornar realmente positivo em relação às suas suspeitas, em primeiro lugar, tem de ser objetivo e tentar não envolver demasiadas emoções na avaliação do facto de ele ser tratam-no como uma opção em vez de uma prioridade.
Besides looking for signs he’s taking you for granted, you need to understand what exactly means when someone takes you for granted, why they are doing that, and what you can do about it. We’ll cover all that (and more) below.
He Takes Me For Granted Significado
If he takes you for granted, it basically means that he doesn’t appreciate you enough. It implies a lack of gratitude where he’s taking advantage of you or undervalues you.
You know he’s not appreciating you enough if he doesn’t reciprocate, doesn’t acknowledge the things you do for him, and isn’t putting enough effort para estar lá para ti quando precisares dele.
You know he’s taking you for granted when you feel like you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work in a relationship.
Todas as pequenas e grandes coisas que faz por ele passam muitas vezes despercebidas e sente que a sua presença fica na sombra do seu egoísmo.
Por que é que os homens te tomam por garantida?
Uma das maiores razões pelas quais os homens a tomam por garantida é quando começam a ESPERAR que se comporte de uma determinada maneira. Habituam-se a receber um tratamento real sem dar nada em troca.
Aqui estão as razões mais comuns pelas quais os homens a tomam por garantida:
You have troubles saying ‘no’
Sente que prefere assumir mais tarefas e responsabilidades than say ‘no’ to your partner or other people? Then you officially have trouble saying ‘no’ and you’re officially going out of your way to please others at your own expense.
You’re a people pleaser
You just can’t be rude to others no matter how rude they are to you because you’re a legit people pleaser.
You’re too sweet and nice which guys immediately recognize and then, through time, decide to ‘turn your sweetness against you’ aka take you for granted.
Os outros podem prever o seu comportamento
Predictable behavior can be easily manipulated by others. If you’re predictable, it means others can know your next few moves in advance.
Isto torna mais fácil para eles manipularem-no e levarem-no a fazer o que querem. Este tipo de manipulações são subtis, pelo que pode nem sequer se aperceber delas.
Tem dificuldade em confrontar as pessoas
You have trouble confronting issues with others (be it your partner or someone else). If you don’t tell them how their actions make you feel, you end up unhappy and they keep tomar-te por garantido.
They do that because they’re convinced that everything is fine and you’re okay with their behavior. Well, are you?
You’re not being honest with yourself
Em vez de admitirmos para nós próprios a famosa frase, Ele toma-me por garantido, desculpa o seu comportamento.
Em vez de se perguntar a si próprio Espera, porque é que ele me está a tomar por garantido no primeiro lugar? you turn a blind eye thinking that you’re overreacting and it’s all in your head.
Justificar o seu comportamento de merda tornou-se o novo normal.
Procura constantemente a aprovação dos outros
Permite que os outros se sintam emocionalmente controlam-no e manipulam-no because you’re determined to get their approval at any cost. You ask for their approval on almost everything you do and that’s how you lose yourself.
Quando começam a tomar-nos por garantidos, muitas vezes não nos apercebemos disso porque já perdemos o nosso sentido de julgamento.
Tem poucas expectativas
Habituou-se a ficar tão desiludido com os outros que as suas expectativas em relação a eles se tornaram muito baixas.
You give too much from yourself and receive little or nothing at all but you don’t culpar os outros para isso. Porquê?
Because you have low expectations and you don’t expect others to treat you the way you treat them.
You’re scared
You’re scared of people who act bossy, confrontational or are too loud. Because of that, you refuse to confront them.
You’d rather do as they say and accept what they say than ever go against them. They know that, too, and that’s why they decide to take you for granted.
Dá-se mais do que se recebe
Somehow, you’re always the one who gives too much without even realizing that you’re doing that.
You never question the matter of reciprocity in a relationship because you’re used to being the one who gives more than they get back.
Mesmo que decida afastar-se, they’d be upset, accusing you of being the one who changed for the worse.
He Takes Me For Granted: 7 Clear Signs He’s Taking You For Granted
Quando me perguntei pela primeira vez Estará ele a tomar-me por garantida? Estava pronto para passar um ano à procura de sinais de que ele o fazia. Para meu espanto, estes sinais estavam mesmo à minha frente durante todo este tempo, mas decidi não os ver.
As always, it’s best to learn from other people’s mistakes, so here are the signs that will open your eyes by showing his true nature:
Deixou de a tratar com respeito
O respeito é uma coisa que, para além do amor, nunca deve faltar numa relação.
Your partner has to acknowledge you even for the small things you’ve done. It’s important that you know he appreciates you and your effort.
Once he stops doing all that, consider it as not a good sign. It’s the beginning of ‘’tomar-te por garantido’’ journey you don’t want to be on.
If he’s making plans without you knowing, then you have a big red warning sign that something is seriously wrong.
Fazer planos sozinho em vez de a envolver significa que ele nem sequer está interessado em saber se pode ou não participar nesses planos.
What you want in this case is not an option. Ask any relationship expert if this behavior is worthy of putting up with, they will all give you the same answer—you’re being taken for granted and something needs to be changed.
He doesn’t care what you think
Este sentimento pode afetar seriamente a sua autoestima. As suas reacções indiferentes fazem-nos sentir insignificantes e sem importância.
Ninguém se deve sentir assim, especialmente numa relação em que o seu parceiro a deve fazer sentir especial e amada.
He’s not making you feel anything except shame and a sense of less worth. If your significant other is faced with difficult choices in life, it’s normal and natural for them to turn to you for advice.
O seu namorado deixou de a deixar participar nos grandes momentos e decisões da vida.
It’s because you don’t matter to him as much as you used to. Relações saudáveis implica amor incondicional e, acima de tudo, confiança. Perdeste a confiança e talvez até o amor.
Ele deixou de tentar perto de si
He’s not taking you to nice dates anymore. He’s not even trying to do anything romantic anymore. I don’t want to scare you but these are huge red flags in a romantic relationship.
A sua relação tem estado presa numa rotina, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.
He’s even stopped trying to look good for you. I’m not saying he should groom himself all the time to look like a model when he’s with you, don’t get me wrong.
He should be relaxed around you, but isn’t there a line between being relaxed and not giving a damn?
I mean if boxers are the only thing he ever wears around you and you’re home all the time…is that really nice of him to do?
Or is it the result of a lack of trying? I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Pense bem: a sua relação de longa data entrou numa crise e precisa de mudar alguma coisa o mais rapidamente possível ou é porque he’s just not into you anymore, so he’s taking you for granted?
He doesn’t listen when you talk
When you talk, he does his own thing. He is not paying attention to anything you say, and the reason is more than simple. He doesn’t care about you, things that you say, or things that you think about.
A sua comunicação está a ir por água abaixo, o que é outra bandeira vermelha numa relação.
Como seres humanos, temos o desejo de nos relacionarmos com os outros a muitos níveis. Por isso, quando a comunicação deixa de existir, sabemos que a nossa relação está a enfrentar alguns problemas sérios.
Os amigos dele são mais importantes do que tu
I’m not saying he should be by your side and hang out with you all the time but if there ever comes a point in your relationship where he chooses to spend time with his friends rather than you, he’s most definitely taking you for granted.
Don’t blow this out of proportion. If he rejects you once to go with his friends, it doesn’t have to mean ele deixou de se importar sobre si. Tens de o deixar ter a sua vida social fora da vossa relação.
Mas se isto começar a acontecer com regularidade, deve começar a preocupar-se. A primeira coisa que vem à mente é que ele está a perder lentamente o interesse em si.
Evita a intimidade
Quando foi a última vez que tiveram intimidade? Lembra-se? A falta de intimidade física é definitivamente um dos sinais alarmantes de que a sua relação está a enfrentar problemas.
Passion is one of the things that should always be present in a relationship, no matter what. If you don’t attract each other physically, that relationship is doomed to fail sooner or later.
O mesmo se aplica à intimidade emocional. Deve ter a possibilidade e a liberdade de falar sobre os seus sentimentos com o seu parceiro.
Being vulnerable is not something you should be ashamed of, especially when you’re with your loved one. He has to give you emotional support and ensure you feel safe and protected when he’s around.
He hasn’t introduced you to his family
My family is everything to me, as I’m sure yours to you, too. He is no exception either.
Wouldn’t it be completely normal for him to introduce you to his loved ones if he was a sério sobre si? I would do it, and you would do the same. Why hasn’t he done it yet?
The answer is not so pleasing. It could be that he’s not interested in anything serious with you or he’s simply taking you for granted.
Estes problemas são bastante sérios e não há uma solução fácil que nos venha à cabeça.
Although you can always try to talk to your boyfriend using complete honesty to try to solve what’s holding him down in your relationship.
O que fazer quando um homem a toma por garantida?
When a man takes you for granted, it’s best to give him the taste of his own medicine if you want to teach him a valuable lesson.
Há sempre algumas opções que pode considerar. Quando ele a toma por garantida, pode ignorá-lo e concentrar-se em viver a sua melhor vida.
You can cut off contact for good. At least, you’re getting the satisfaction of winning and walking away from him, instead of him from you.
But, there are other options, too, which might intrigue him and get him hooked back…
Divertir-se sozinho
Ele toma-me por garantido. E então? Ainda te podes divertir sozinho e concentrar-te na tua própria vida, certo?
Don’t even bother to ask him what he’s doing that night if you know that he’s going to have some lame excuse for not going out with you.
Instead, go out on a date with yourself or find new hobbies. Do something that you will enjoy doing even when you know that he wouldn’t enjoy it with you.
There are so many things you stopped doing since you two started your relationship, so it’s time to do those things right now.
Oh, and don’t forget to take a picture and post it somewhere he will see it. Let him ask himself why you didn’t even invite him.
Don’t answer his messages right away
Women have this urge to answer messages right away. I mean it’s polite, and that’s how it’s supposed to be done if you have your phone by your hand.
But now that he’s taking you for granted and he doesn’t know how hard it is for you when you have to wait a whole day before he answers, ignore the urge to enviar-lhe uma mensagem de volta. Don’t text him and he will text you.
Recuperar a sua respeito por si próprio. Make him feel your pain. Don’t answer him.
You could even leave him on ‘read’.
Vestir-se para impressionar
Não importa a frequência com que se veste bem, duplique-a! Vista-se tão bem que ele se babará sempre que passar por si.
Let him see what he’s losing. A little red lipstick and mascara will make you feel good about yourself, too.
Needless to say that men are visual creatures, so if he sees you that hot, he’ll instantly come after you. But don’t let him touch you.
O contacto físico está fora dos limites até ele começar apreciar a vossa presença na sua vida novamente.
I know that this sounds like manipulation but if he doesn’t see what he’s losing, he won’t realize what’s going on and he won’t be able to ‘read the signals’ you’re trying to send him.
Sair com os seus amigos
O teu namorado toma-te por garantida? Não há problema.
Ir a festas, divertir-se com os seus melhores amigoscolegas de trabalho, etc. Deixe-o ver que é capaz de ter uma vida maravilhosa sem ele.
Plan an all-girls weekend for your birthday, and don’t allow him to join the party.
Let him know that he’s not invited. He doesn’t deserve to be there in the first place, right?
Cancelar planos com ele
Believe me, I know it’s hard. You want to spend more time with him because you love him, but this is the best way for you to let him know that something isn’t right.
É necessário make him realize he’s losing you!
If he calls you to go out, politely tell him that you don’t want to. If you have already made plans with him, then cancel the date night and tell him that you have something important to do for work. Either way, it will pay off.
Don’t talk to him about your life
Ele toma-me por garantida. Talvez eu precise de multiplicar os meus esforços e ser mais aberta com ele.
That’s exactly what I was thinking a few years ago. Don’t make the same mistake. Withhold information about your life right now.
At one point when you’re talking to him and he asks you about why you haven’t told him that before, choose a passive-aggressive answer like, “I saw that you were too busy to actually care.” These sentences hit the spot even though they may sound a bit rough.
Depois de todo este tempo tomar-te por garantidoMostre-lhe que não está de acordo com o seu comportamento.
Fale com ele sobre o que sente
Depois de ter decidido que já chega de jogos, experimente a velha técnica de ouro de falar sobre as coisas.
Talvez já o tenha tentado antes de tudo isto, mas agora é a altura certa para falar sobre o assunto.
Tell him how you have been feeling lately, and tell him that you aren’t happy in your relationship because he doesn’t appreciate you and what you’re doing for him.
I’ve said this already—communication is the key to every relação feliz.
Diga-lhe que ele só tira da relação sem dar nada em troca e veja o que acontece. Diga-lhe que qualquer relação é uma via de dois sentidos e que não funcionará se um dos parceiros se esforçar mais do que o outro.
Pense se ele merece a sua segunda oportunidade.
If he says that he is going to change his behavior, then you should give him a chance, but be careful with how many chances you’re giving out and is it worth the trouble?
Como é que o impeço de me tomar por garantida?
You’ll stop him from taking you for granted when you stop doing those things he takes for granted and estabelecer limites como a mulher de alto valor que tu és.
Let him know that you won’t tolerate him not appreciating your effort. Let him know that you’re fine without him.
This is how you’ll stop him from taking you for granted ever again:
Stop doing those things he’s taking for granted
Ele toma-me por garantido. Well, then stop doing those things he’s taking for granted.
Isto é algo que qualquer treinador de relações lhe diria: Pára de te esforçar para fazeres coisas boas para ele. Ponto final.
The more you’re going out of your way to please him, the more he’ll take your effort for granted. You need to break this evil art of ele aproveitar-se de si and you’ll do it by not giving him the things he used to receive from you.
Let him know that it takes two to tango. You will not be the only one trying to make things work. It’s high time that he chooses between reciprocity or nothing.
Chamar-lhe a atenção para o seu comportamento
Don’t omit anything he does, and most importantly, don’t make excuses for him in the process of evaluating what his deal is.
Observem tudo, desde as pequenas coisas às grandes, porque todas são igualmente importantes.
I’m sure you’ve realized by now that you’ve missed so many sure signs telling you that he is not appreciating you as he used to.
If you did, don’t let that lower your spirits and discourage you.
It’s not your fault that you missed out on whatever was going on right in front of your nose. You’re not the one to blame that your significant other is not treating you the way you deserve.
Estabelecer limites
It’s time to set yourself some boundaries. Choose the things that you’ll do because you want to do them and accentuate the things you won’t do because he’s obviously taking them for granted.
Once he sees that you’re no longer going out of your way to please him, he’ll start to question his behavior. (Well, I hope he will.)
Estabelecer limites é da maior importância se quiser proteger-se do seu comportamento manipulador.
It will help you realize the things you’re doing for yourself and the things you’ve been doing for him that he didn’t appreciate whatsoever.
Concentre-se em si próprio
One of the greatest relationship advice of all times: When everything else fails, focus on yourself. When you’ve done all you could and you see that he still doesn’t realize the mistake of taking you for granted, just ignore him completely.
Do what makes YOU happy at the moment. Don’t worry about how he’ll perceive your decision to no longer settle for his selfish treatment.
A man cannot realize what he had if you don’t let him know what he lost. In this case, I refer to what he ‘temporarily’ lost.
Claro que, se vires que a vossa relação não tem futuro and the problems are beyond fixing, you can easily replace the word ‘temporarily’ with ‘permanently’.
Let him know you’re TOTALLY fine without him
I’ve heard many women say: He took me for granted so I left him. He didn’t appreciate my gestures, so I stopped trying.
Here’s one for you: He took me for granted, so I showed him that I’m TOTALLY fine without him.
Live your best life and don’t think about him even for a second. Let him know that if you had to leave, you definitely would and that you would be fine without him.
Isto recordar-lhe-á o facto de que you’re an independent woman who knows how to take care of herself. You don’t need his lame behavior in your life because you know better.
You put up with his behavior so far because you wanted to and not because you had to. Now that you see he still hasn’t changed his game, you’ll give him a checkmate.
He’ll either open his eyes and realize what he’ll lose or he’ll keep taking you for granted. The only difference is that this time he knows you won’t tolerate the latter.
Don’t Take Me For Granted Quotes
Se quer que ele (e os outros) deixem de a tomar por garantida, então tem de os lembrar de que devem PARAR de se comportar assim.
One of the surefire ways to do so is by posting or sending them quotes about taking you for granted. These words of wisdom have the power to change everyone’s perception and he is not an exception.
1. “Learn my VALUE or earn my ABSENCE. Don’t take me for granted.” – Unknown
2. “When I give you my time, I’m giving you a portion of my life that I will never get back. So please don’t make me regret it.” – Unknown
3. “Never take a woman for granted because one day another guy will come along and appreciate what you didn’t.” – Unknown
4. “Don’t take me for granted because unlike the rest I’m not afraid to afastar-se.” – Unknown
5. “Women are often overlooked, taken for granted. They can slip easily through a man’s defense.” – Stan Lee
6. “Just because I’m here for you all the time, doesn’t mean you can take me for granted.” – Unknown
7. “You need to stop doing things for someone when you find out it’s expected rather than appreciated.” – Unknown
8. “If they don’t appreciate your presence, perhaps you should try giving them a sua ausência.” – Tinku Razoria
9. “Even the most caring people can get tired of being taken for granted.” – Nishan Panwar
10. “If they don’t respect, appreciate and value you, then they don’t deserve you.” – Robert Tew
11. “It is sad when you realize you are not as important to someone as they are to you!” – Nikhil Andy
12. “Kindness should never be taken for granted because even the nicest people have their limits.” – Unknown
13. “Never take someone’s feelings for granted. Because you never know how much courage they took to show it to you.” – Unknown
14. “Don’t be mad because I don’t care anymore. Be mad because I once did, and you were too blind to see.” – Unknown
15. “Every time you take them for granted, you’re teaching them to live without you.” – Unknown
16. “Once you take me for granted, you’ll miss me when I stop doing the things I used to do for you.” – Unknown
17. “She used to love his kisses, but not anymore. She had lost him, somewhere along the way, and this man was a stranger-a stranger who took her for granted.” – Caroline Anderson
18. “When you have taken for granted the things that are important, you lose them eventually.” – Unknown
19. “I do not judge people at all, and I’m ALWAYS here to help anyone at any time. But please don’t take my help for granted.” – Unknown
20. “Don’t take me for granted. Cause when you lose me, I won’t come back.” – Unknown
21. “When you’re always there for people they stop appreciating you because your favors are now an expectation.” – Unknown
22. “You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs. ” – Rajat Dogra
23. “If we don’t feel appreciated, we don’t feel loved.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie
24. “As I was fighting for you, I realized I was fighting to be lied to; fighting to be taken for granted; fighting to be disappointed; and fighting to be hurt again…so I started fighting to let go.” – Unknown
25. “If you take someone for granted, you don’t deserve them. Be mature enough to let them move on to someone else who knows their worth.” – Unknown
O veredito
Ele toma-me por garantida. Será que alguma vez deixará de o fazer?
Se lhe disser, com as suas acções e palavras, que não vai tolerar que ele a tome por garantida, pode esperar um dos seguintes resultados:
a) He will continue doing so (because he doesn’t care).
b) He’ll open his eyes and realize that he’s losing you (because he cares).
Uma coisa é certa: se ele ama-teSe ele for atrás de si, encontrará uma forma de fazer com que a relação funcione. Tudo o resto é apenas uma desculpa.
