He takes me for granted. Undoubtedly, this is one of the most popular sentences that have been circulating for a while now.
Is he seriously taking you for granted? That’s a serious accusation to make, and you shouldn’t make it without the solid proof he is really doing that.
Sadly, putting someone in Plan B happens so much more in modern relationships. Whether you want to admit it or not, the grass is greener syndrome has become the biggest destroyer of relationships.
That is one of the reasons why taking someone for granted sneaks its way into a once happy relationship.
To really become positive about your suspicions, first, you have to be objective, and try not to involve too many emotions into evaluating whether he is treating you as an option instead of a priority.
Besides looking for signs he’s taking you for granted, you need to understand what exactly means when someone takes you for granted, why they are doing that, and what you can do about it. We’ll cover all that (and more) below.
He Takes Me For Granted Meaning
If he takes you for granted, it basically means that he doesn’t appreciate you enough. It implies a lack of gratitude where he’s taking advantage of you or undervalues you.
You know he’s not appreciating you enough if he doesn’t reciprocate, doesn’t acknowledge the things you do for him, and isn’t putting enough effort to be there for you when you need him.
You know he’s taking you for granted when you feel like you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work in a relationship.
All the little and big things you do for him often go unnoticed and you feel like your presence is in the shadow of his selfishness.
Why Do Guys Take You For Granted?
One of the biggest reasons why guys take you for granted is when they start EXPECTING you to behave a certain way. They get used to receiving royal treatment without giving anything in return.
Here are the most common reasons why guys take you for granted:
You have troubles saying ‘no’
Do you feel like you would rather take on more tasks and responsibilities than say ‘no’ to your partner or other people? Then you officially have trouble saying ‘no’ and you’re officially going out of your way to please others at your own expense.
You’re a people pleaser
You just can’t be rude to others no matter how rude they are to you because you’re a legit people pleaser.
You’re too sweet and nice which guys immediately recognize and then, through time, decide to ‘turn your sweetness against you’ aka take you for granted.
Others can predict your behavior
Predictable behavior can be easily manipulated by others. If you’re predictable, it means others can know your next few moves in advance.
This makes it easy for them to manipulate you and get you to do what they want. These types of manipulations are subtle, so you may not even be aware of them.
You have trouble confronting people
You have trouble confronting issues with others (be it your partner or someone else). If you don’t tell them how their actions make you feel, you end up unhappy and they keep taking you for granted.
They do that because they’re convinced that everything is fine and you’re okay with their behavior. Well, are you?
You’re not being honest with yourself
Instead of admitting to yourself the famous sentence, He takes me for granted, you make excuses for his behavior.
Instead of asking yourself Wait, why is he taking me for granted in the first place? you turn a blind eye thinking that you’re overreacting and it’s all in your head.
Justifying his shitty behavior has become the new normal.
You constantly seek approval from others
You allow others to emotionally control you and manipulate you because you’re determined to get their approval at any cost. You ask for their approval on almost everything you do and that’s how you lose yourself.
When they start taking you for granted, you often fail to notice it because you already lost your sense of judgment.
You have low expectations
You got used to being disappointed in others so much that your expectations for them have become really low.
You give too much from yourself and receive little or nothing at all but you don’t blame others for that. Why?
Because you have low expectations and you don’t expect others to treat you the way you treat them.
You’re scared of people who act bossy, confrontational or are too loud. Because of that, you refuse to confront them.
You’d rather do as they say and accept what they say than ever go against them. They know that, too, and that’s why they decide to take you for granted.
You give more than you get back
Somehow, you’re always the one who gives too much without even realizing that you’re doing that.
You never question the matter of reciprocity in a relationship because you’re used to being the one who gives more than they get back.
Even if you decide to pull away, they’d be upset, accusing you of being the one who changed for the worse.
He Takes Me For Granted: 7 Clear Signs He’s Taking You For Granted
When I first asked myself Is he taking me for granted? I was ready to spend a year looking for signs that he does. To my amazement, these signs were right in front of me all this time but I decided to overlook them.
As always, it’s best to learn from other people’s mistakes, so here are the signs that will open your eyes by showing his true nature:
He stopped treating you with respect
Respect is one thing besides love which should never run out in a relationship.
Your partner has to acknowledge you even for the small things you’ve done. It’s important that you know he appreciates you and your effort.
Once he stops doing all that, consider it as not a good sign. It’s the beginning of ‘’taking you for granted’’ journey you don’t want to be on.
If he’s making plans without you knowing, then you have a big red warning sign that something is seriously wrong.
Making plans alone instead of involving you means he is not even interested if you can participate in those plans or not.
What you want in this case is not an option. Ask any relationship expert if this behavior is worthy of putting up with, they will all give you the same answer—you’re being taken for granted and something needs to be changed.
He doesn’t care what you think
Experiencing this feeling can seriously affect your self-esteem. His indifferent reactions make you feel insignificant and unimportant.
No one should ever feel like that, especially in a relationship where your partner should make you feel special and loved.
He’s not making you feel anything except shame and a sense of less worth. If your significant other is faced with difficult choices in life, it’s normal and natural for them to turn to you for advice.
Your boyfriend has stopped letting you in on those big moments and decisions in life.
It’s because you don’t matter to him as much as you used to. Healthy relationships imply unconditional love and most importantly, trust. You have lost trust and perhaps even love.
He stopped trying around you
He’s not taking you to nice dates anymore. He’s not even trying to do anything romantic anymore. I don’t want to scare you but these are huge red flags in a romantic relationship.
Your relationship has been stuck in a rut, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.
He’s even stopped trying to look good for you. I’m not saying he should groom himself all the time to look like a model when he’s with you, don’t get me wrong.
He should be relaxed around you, but isn’t there a line between being relaxed and not giving a damn?
I mean if boxers are the only thing he ever wears around you and you’re home all the time…is that really nice of him to do?
Or is it the result of a lack of trying? I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Think carefully: has your long term relationship got itself into a crisis and you need to change something ASAP or is it that he’s just not into you anymore, so he’s taking you for granted?
He doesn’t listen when you talk
When you talk, he does his own thing. He is not paying attention to anything you say, and the reason is more than simple. He doesn’t care about you, things that you say, or things that you think about.
Your communication is going south which is another red flag in a relationship.
As human beings, we have the urge to connect with others on so many levels. So, when communication ceases to exist, you know that your relationship is facing some serious issues.
His friends are more important than you
I’m not saying he should be by your side and hang out with you all the time but if there ever comes a point in your relationship where he chooses to spend time with his friends rather than you, he’s most definitely taking you for granted.
Don’t blow this out of proportion. If he rejects you once to go with his friends, it doesn’t have to mean he stopped caring about you. You have to let him have his social life outside of your relationship.
But if this starts happening on a regular basis, then you should start worrying. The first thing that comes to mind is that he is slowly losing interest in you.
He avoids intimacy
When was the last time you were intimate? Do you remember? The lack of physical intimacy is definitely one of the alarming signs that your relationship is facing trouble.
Passion is one of the things that should always be present in a relationship, no matter what. If you don’t attract each other physically, that relationship is doomed to fail sooner or later.
The same goes for emotional intimacy. You should be able and free to talk about your feelings with your partner.
Being vulnerable is not something you should be ashamed of, especially when you’re with your loved one. He has to give you emotional support and ensure you feel safe and protected when he’s around.
He hasn’t introduced you to his family
My family is everything to me, as I’m sure yours to you, too. He is no exception either.
Wouldn’t it be completely normal for him to introduce you to his loved ones if he was serious about you? I would do it, and you would do the same. Why hasn’t he done it yet?
The answer is not so pleasing. It could be that he’s not interested in anything serious with you or he’s simply taking you for granted.
These problems are quite serious, and there is no easy solution that comes to mind.
Although you can always try to talk to your boyfriend using complete honesty to try to solve what’s holding him down in your relationship.
What To Do When A Man Takes You For Granted?
When a man takes you for granted, it’s best to give him the taste of his own medicine if you want to teach him a valuable lesson.
There are always some options you can look at. When he takes you for granted, you can ignore him and focus on living your best life.
You can cut off contact for good. At least, you’re getting the satisfaction of winning and walking away from him, instead of him from you.
But, there are other options, too, which might intrigue him and get him hooked back…
Have fun by yourself
He takes me for granted. So what? You can still have fun by yourself and focus on your own life, right?
Don’t even bother to ask him what he’s doing that night if you know that he’s going to have some lame excuse for not going out with you.
Instead, go out on a date with yourself or find new hobbies. Do something that you will enjoy doing even when you know that he wouldn’t enjoy it with you.
There are so many things you stopped doing since you two started your relationship, so it’s time to do those things right now.
Oh, and don’t forget to take a picture and post it somewhere he will see it. Let him ask himself why you didn’t even invite him.
Don’t answer his messages right away
Women have this urge to answer messages right away. I mean it’s polite, and that’s how it’s supposed to be done if you have your phone by your hand.
But now that he’s taking you for granted and he doesn’t know how hard it is for you when you have to wait a whole day before he answers, ignore the urge to text him back. Don’t text him and he will text you.
Regain your self-respect. Make him feel your pain. Don’t answer him.
You could even leave him on ‘read’.
Dress to impress
No matter how often you dress nicely, double it! Dress yourself so nicely that he drools every time you walk by.
Let him see what he’s losing. A little red lipstick and mascara will make you feel good about yourself, too.
Needless to say that men are visual creatures, so if he sees you that hot, he’ll instantly come after you. But don’t let him touch you.
Physical touch is off-limits until he starts appreciating your presence in his life again.
I know that this sounds like manipulation but if he doesn’t see what he’s losing, he won’t realize what’s going on and he won’t be able to ‘read the signals’ you’re trying to send him.
Go out with your friends
Does your boyfriend take you for granted? No problem.
Go out to parties, have fun with your best friends, coworkers, you name it. Let him see that you are able to have a wonderful life without him.
Plan an all-girls weekend for your birthday, and don’t allow him to join the party.
Let him know that he’s not invited. He doesn’t deserve to be there in the first place, right?
Cancel plans with him
Believe me, I know it’s hard. You want to spend more time with him because you love him, but this is the best way for you to let him know that something isn’t right.
You need to make him realize he’s losing you!
If he calls you to go out, politely tell him that you don’t want to. If you have already made plans with him, then cancel the date night and tell him that you have something important to do for work. Either way, it will pay off.
Don’t talk to him about your life
He takes me for granted. Maybe I need to multiply my efforts and be more open with him.
That’s exactly what I was thinking a few years ago. Don’t make the same mistake. Withhold information about your life right now.
At one point when you’re talking to him and he asks you about why you haven’t told him that before, choose a passive-aggressive answer like, “I saw that you were too busy to actually care.” These sentences hit the spot even though they may sound a bit rough.
After all this time taking you for granted, show him that you are not OK with his behavior.
Talk to him about how you feel
After you have decided that it is enough with the games, try the old but gold technique of talking things through.
You may have tried it before all of this, but now is the right time to talk about the issue.
Tell him how you have been feeling lately, and tell him that you aren’t happy in your relationship because he doesn’t appreciate you and what you’re doing for him.
I’ve said this already—communication is the key to every happy relationship.
Tell him that he only takes from the relationship without giving anything back, and see what happens. Tell him that every relationship is a two-way street which will not work if one partner is trying harder than the other.
Think about whether he deserves your second chance.
If he says that he is going to change his behavior, then you should give him a chance, but be careful with how many chances you’re giving out and is it worth the trouble?
How Do I Stop Him From Taking Me For Granted?
You’ll stop him from taking you for granted when you stop doing those things he takes for granted and set boundaries like the high-value woman that you are.
Let him know that you won’t tolerate him not appreciating your effort. Let him know that you’re fine without him.
This is how you’ll stop him from taking you for granted ever again:
Stop doing those things he’s taking for granted
He takes me for granted. Well, then stop doing those things he’s taking for granted.
This is something every relationship coach would tell you: Stop going out of your way to do nice things for him. Period.
The more you’re going out of your way to please him, the more he’ll take your effort for granted. You need to break this evil art of him taking advantage of you and you’ll do it by not giving him the things he used to receive from you.
Let him know that it takes two to tango. You will not be the only one trying to make things work. It’s high time that he chooses between reciprocity or nothing.
Call him out on his behavior
Don’t omit anything he does, and most importantly, don’t make excuses for him in the process of evaluating what his deal is.
Look at everything, from little things to huge ones because they are all equally important.
I’m sure you’ve realized by now that you’ve missed so many sure signs telling you that he is not appreciating you as he used to.
If you did, don’t let that lower your spirits and discourage you.
It’s not your fault that you missed out on whatever was going on right in front of your nose. You’re not the one to blame that your significant other is not treating you the way you deserve.
It’s time to set yourself some boundaries. Choose the things that you’ll do because you want to do them and accentuate the things you won’t do because he’s obviously taking them for granted.
Once he sees that you’re no longer going out of your way to please him, he’ll start to question his behavior. (Well, I hope he will.)
Setting boundaries is of utmost importance if you want to protect yourself from his manipulative behavior.
It will help you realize the things you’re doing for yourself and the things you’ve been doing for him that he didn’t appreciate whatsoever.
Focus on yourself
One of the greatest relationship advice of all times: When everything else fails, focus on yourself. When you’ve done all you could and you see that he still doesn’t realize the mistake of taking you for granted, just ignore him completely.
Do what makes YOU happy at the moment. Don’t worry about how he’ll perceive your decision to no longer settle for his selfish treatment.
A man cannot realize what he had if you don’t let him know what he lost. In this case, I refer to what he ‘temporarily’ lost.
Of course, if you see that your relationship has no future and the problems are beyond fixing, you can easily replace the word ‘temporarily’ with ‘permanently’.
Let him know you’re TOTALLY fine without him
I’ve heard many women say: He took me for granted so I left him. He didn’t appreciate my gestures, so I stopped trying.
Here’s one for you: He took me for granted, so I showed him that I’m TOTALLY fine without him.
Live your best life and don’t think about him even for a second. Let him know that if you had to leave, you definitely would and that you would be fine without him.
This will remind him of the fact that you’re an independent woman who knows how to take care of herself. You don’t need his lame behavior in your life because you know better.
You put up with his behavior so far because you wanted to and not because you had to. Now that you see he still hasn’t changed his game, you’ll give him a checkmate.
He’ll either open his eyes and realize what he’ll lose or he’ll keep taking you for granted. The only difference is that this time he knows you won’t tolerate the latter.
Don’t Take Me For Granted Quotes
If you want him (and others) to stop taking you for granted, then you need to remind them to STOP behaving like that.
One of the surefire ways to do so is by posting or sending them quotes about taking you for granted. These words of wisdom have the power to change everyone’s perception and he is not an exception.
1. “Learn my VALUE or earn my ABSENCE. Don’t take me for granted.” – Unknown
2. “When I give you my time, I’m giving you a portion of my life that I will never get back. So please don’t make me regret it.” – Unknown
3. “Never take a woman for granted because one day another guy will come along and appreciate what you didn’t.” – Unknown
4. “Don’t take me for granted because unlike the rest I’m not afraid to walk away.” – Unknown
5. “Women are often overlooked, taken for granted. They can slip easily through a man’s defense.” – Stan Lee
6. “Just because I’m here for you all the time, doesn’t mean you can take me for granted.” – Unknown
7. “You need to stop doing things for someone when you find out it’s expected rather than appreciated.” – Unknown
8. “If they don’t appreciate your presence, perhaps you should try giving them your absence.” – Tinku Razoria
9. “Even the most caring people can get tired of being taken for granted.” – Nishan Panwar
10. “If they don’t respect, appreciate and value you, then they don’t deserve you.” – Robert Tew
11. “It is sad when you realize you are not as important to someone as they are to you!” – Nikhil Andy
12. “Kindness should never be taken for granted because even the nicest people have their limits.” – Unknown
13. “Never take someone’s feelings for granted. Because you never know how much courage they took to show it to you.” – Unknown
14. “Don’t be mad because I don’t care anymore. Be mad because I once did, and you were too blind to see.” – Unknown
15. “Every time you take them for granted, you’re teaching them to live without you.” – Unknown
16. “Once you take me for granted, you’ll miss me when I stop doing the things I used to do for you.” – Unknown
17. “She used to love his kisses, but not anymore. She had lost him, somewhere along the way, and this man was a stranger-a stranger who took her for granted.” – Caroline Anderson
18. “When you have taken for granted the things that are important, you lose them eventually.” – Unknown
19. “I do not judge people at all, and I’m ALWAYS here to help anyone at any time. But please don’t take my help for granted.” – Unknown
20. “Don’t take me for granted. Cause when you lose me, I won’t come back.” – Unknown
21. “When you’re always there for people they stop appreciating you because your favors are now an expectation.” – Unknown
22. “You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs. ” – Rajat Dogra
23. “If we don’t feel appreciated, we don’t feel loved.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie
24. “As I was fighting for you, I realized I was fighting to be lied to; fighting to be taken for granted; fighting to be disappointed; and fighting to be hurt again…so I started fighting to let go.” – Unknown
25. “If you take someone for granted, you don’t deserve them. Be mature enough to let them move on to someone else who knows their worth.” – Unknown
He takes me for granted. Will he ever stop doing so?
If you let him know with your actions and words that you will no longer tolerate him taking you for granted, you can expect one of the following outcomes:
a) He will continue doing so (because he doesn’t care).
b) He’ll open his eyes and realize that he’s losing you (because he cares).
One thing is sure: If he loves you, he will come after you and he will find a way to make the relationship work. Everything else is just an excuse.