Se ele gosta de mim, porque é que ainda namora online? 9 razões comuns

If he likes me, why is he still online dating? I don’t think there is a girl in the world of encontros modernos who hasn’t asked herself this question at least once before.

Eu sei que sim.

Já sabe como é: há química forte. You like him, and you know he likes you. You’ve been dating for a while, but all of his dating profiles are still active.

De acordo com a minha experiência, eis as razões mais comuns para este tipo de comportamento.

Se ele gosta de mim, porque é que ainda namora online?

Veja estas razões e veja se o seu homem preenche algum destes requisitos:

1. Manter as suas opções em aberto

Detesto ter de rebentar a sua bolha desde o início: este homem está a manter os seus perfis de encontros online abertos porque é mantendo as suas opções em aberto.

I’m not saying he doesn’t like you, but the fact is that he isn’t sure about you.

Does this mean that he’s seeing other girls? Probably yes. I can’t claim this for sure, but he’s definitely texting them. Otherwise, why would he still have all of these dating websites installed?

The harsh truth is that he’s checking to see which girl he likes the most. You’re just one of as suas escolhas – not his priority.

If you’re doing the same thing, this shouldn’t bother you too much, especially if you’re in the initial stages of your relationship.

Também precisa de perceber que os encontros online podem ser incrivelmente viciantes. As melhores aplicações de engate são essencialmente concebidos para serem um jogo que te faz voltar para mais.

If you don’t check the app for a few days you start getting notifications or emails telling you about all the other women you’re missing out on.

This can be really tough for anyone to ignore. If you’re trying to diet but are constantly bombarded by your Instagram feed full of delicious-looking food you might be tempted to look at a few posts!

However, if you’re not keeping your options open, the last thing you need is a guy who can’t make up his mind about you. By accepting this kind of treatment, you’re settling for less.

Afinal, o que é que se deve fazer? Ficar pacientemente sentado e esperar que ele escolher-te?

Compete with all these other girls on his dating apps and try to prove to him that you’re the best? No, not if you have any self-respect.

2. Um impulso para o ego

Se ele gosta de mim, porque é que ainda namora online? Well, have you ever thought that he’s dealing with some major insecurities, and Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, Match.com, and other online dating apps serve as an ego boost?

No, this is not me asking you to understand him. You’re a grown woman, and you shouldn’t have to deal with homens inseguros que têm dificuldade em curar a sua autoestima de uma forma saudável.

Deixem-me explicar o que se passa exatamente aqui. You’re not enough for this guy.

But this doesn’t mean that you, as a person or as a woman, are not enough. Nothing you or anyone else ever does or gives this type of man will ever be enough.

The fact is that he craves attention from a bunch of girls. It doesn’t matter how these women look, behave, or treat him.

If some of them swipe right on Tinder, he’ll think of himself as man enough. He immediately starts feeling better and considers himself more attractive than he actually is.

Emocionalmente imaturo

Isto faz dele emocionalmente imaturo? Sem dúvida!

Tenho de vos avisar que este homem tem sérios problemas em manter-se fiel. Sim, isso inclui relações sérias e também o casamento.

He’ll always choose a luxúria a curto prazo sobre o amor a longo prazo. And at this point, it doesn’t even matter se ele gosta de si or not and if you’re in love with him.

The bottom line is that you don’t need a man like this by your side.

3. Um hábito antigo

Let’s not jump to conclusions before checking all options. I’m not here to justify this man, but it’s possible that he isn’t planning to date other women just because he is active on online dating sites.

Bem, o que se está sempre a esquecer é que os velhos hábitos custam a morrer. E para ele, isto não passa de um hábito.

Yes, the truth is that it’s a habit that affects you badly. But have you ever considered talking to him about it?

Maybe deleting his online dating profiles didn’t even cross his mind. That’s exactly why you should remind him to do so.

But there is something you should pay close attention before deciding whether he’s still on dating apps out of habit or if there is another hidden reason behind it.

Ele está a passar tempo nestas aplicações de encontros online? Ou só as tem instaladas?

If he doesn’t receive notifications when you two are together, if he doesn’t post new pics, and if he’s always offline (even though he’s online on Messenger or WhatsApp), he’s probably forgotten he’s even got them installed.

4. He’s just bored

Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s just doing it out of boredom. I know what you must be thinking right now: “How can he be bored if he has me?”

You know how you pointlessly scroll through Facebook, Instagram, and other social media? Truth be told, most of the time, you have no idea what you’re looking at because your mind is somewhere else.

Well, that’s exactly what he’s doing with all of these dating websites.

He’s checking whether he’ll find some of his friends, coworkers, or acquaintances there. No, he won’t ask them on a first date – he will maybe tease them a little. In fact, if he runs into his buddies, he’ll probably even make fun of them, and that’s it.

This is another scenario in which you should be open and tell him that you’re bothered that he is still online dating. If este gajo gosta de ti, he’ll delete all of his profiles immediately.

5. He doesn’t trust you

Newsflash: women aren’t the only ones who deal with serious trust issues.

Have you ever tried looking at things from a different perspective? Has it ever crossed your mind that your man is still on dating apps because he’s afraid you’ll hurt him?

LOL, that sounds insane, doesn’t it? Well, the truth is that it makes a lot of sense to him.

He’s actually a great guy, and he’s crazy about you. In fact, he’s so in love with you that isso assusta-o.

Então, em vez de se abrirem e levarem a vossa relação para o próximo nível, o seu questões de confiança estão a retê-lo. O resultado final é que ele espera o pior de si.

He is almost sure that you’re going around behind his back, and he is basically trying to beat you to it.

In this case, dating apps serve as a defense mechanism for him. The only way for you to make him delete them is to show him that you’re trustworthy.

6. Interpretou mal os seus sinais

Okay, this one is a tough one, but I’m sorry, it simply has to be said. You’re asking yourself, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” But how are you even so sure that he likes you in the first place?

Is it possible that you misinterpreted his signs? You’re into this man – that’s clear. But does he really feel the same way about you?

Alguma vez te convidou para sair? Se a resposta for sim, chegaram ao segundo encontro?

If you’re not sure whether he’s into you or not, there is no shame in asking him directly. Tell him that he’s been sending you mixed signals and that you have no clue if he’s just being nice ou se ele gosta de ti a sério.

Even if he gives you an answer you don’t want to hear, at least you’ll know where you stand. It’s much better than leading yourself on.

7. Ele tem uma perceção diferente da vossa relação

You’re craving a committed relationship. But does the guy you like feel the same way?

Don’t get me wrong – there is definitely algum tipo de atração entre vocês os dois. Mas talvez ele esteja a enviar-lhe sinais de que só está interessado em encontros casuais?

You enrich his sex life, but he’s not ready to take your relationship to the next level. Yes, he should have been clearer about it, but if you look at his signals close enough, you’ll see that his actions speak louder than words.

Este homem isn’t interested in an exclusive relationship. When you come to think about it, he never promised you anything – you jumped to conclusions by yourself.

Ele nunca falou sobre rotular a vossa relação, e mesmo quando se tenta abordar esse tema, ele evita-o a todo o custo.

Whenever you two meet up, he only cares about one thing: physical pleasure. I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably nada mais do que um engate.

And there would be nothing wrong with that – if you wanted the same. But the problem is that you two clearly have different aspirations.

He’s obviously a player and not the type of man you’re looking for.

8. He’s emotionally unavailable

If he likes me, why is he still online dating? Another possibility is that, sadly, you’re lidar com uma pessoa que tem medo de compromissos.

This man is quite different from a player. He doesn’t have any intention of jumping from one hook-up to another. Keeping his sex life spicy is not his number one priority.

No entanto, ele não é material de namorado ou. Este gajo tem medo de relações sérias.

He was probably hurt in the past, or he just values his independence. He’s emotionally unavailable.

No momento em que começa a apaixonar-se, tenta fugir.

And that’s exactly what happened with you. He’s fallen head over heels for you.

Mas ainda não está preparado para o admitir a si próprio.

So, he is still active on dating apps just to prove a point to himself. He won’t ask any of these girls on a first date, let alone initiate something more with them.

Online dating sites keep him convinced that he is a single man and that you haven’t succeeded in caging him!

9. Prefere a vida em linha à vida real

Modern dating wouldn’t exist without social media, dating sites, and platforms. And yes, looking from one point of view, they really do make dating a lot easier.

No entanto, algumas pessoas ficam tão envolvidas num mundo online que perdem a capacidade de funcionar na vida real. Se o seu homem é um desses homens, detesto dizer-lhe isto, mas ele nunca vai apagar as suas aplicações de encontros.

He’s addicted to online dating, and he won’t heal from it overnight. He’s not interested in going out or hanging out with his friends to meet new people.

He’s replaced clubs, restaurants, hobbies, and his entire social life with the online world. You don’t have to worry about him cheating when he goes out, but you definitely should be worried about the girls on his phone!

Ver também: 21 tipos de namorados online que devem ser evitados e com os quais se deve ter cuidado

O que fazer?

Now that you got the answer to the question, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” it’s time to do something about your problem!

1. Descobrir o que se pretende

Before you act on this issue, you have to know what it is that you want. Why are you actually bothered by your man’s online activities?

Are you scared that he’ll date other women? Are you jealous because you care about him or because his behavior hurts your ego?

Queres uma relação de compromisso ou não te importas com engates?

Maybe you want to keep your options open as well. Maybe you’re not sure whether he’s the one you should settle with. In that case, you’re both on the same page, and there is absolutely no problem.

No entanto, se pretender algo mais, deve seguir os passos seguintes.

2. Tem o direito de se queixar?

You won’t like this, but you have to ask yourself if you have the right to complain before actually complaining. Mas, por favor, esqueçam os vossos desejos e analisem a vossa relação da forma mais realista possível.

As much as you’d like to, you can’t sleep with a guy once and call him the next day demanding exclusivity and asking him to delete Tinder or any other dating website he is on.

I’m not saying that you should wait ages before you do so, but you have to ask yourself if he’s given you any reason to think that he likes you for real.

3. Falar diretamente com ele

Once you’ve established this, it’s time to talk to him straightforwardly. Look, your man is not a mind reader.

I know you’d want him to delete these apps by himself, but honey, most men don’t work like that. Sometimes, they need to be explicitly told what is expected of them.

É por isso que é preciso diz-lhe como te sentes. Tell him that his apps make you feel insecure and that you feel like he doesn’t respect you enough.

Be honest and don’t play any mind games because that approach might backfire on you.

The “what are we?” talk

Nevertheless, you have to be ready for this conversation to be followed by the infamous “what are we?” talk. It’s natural that you’ll tackle the issue of your relationship and finally decide where you stand.

Don’t avoid this talk, and don’t be afraid that it will make you look desperate. You’re a woman who knows what she wants, and it’s finally time he realizes this as well.

4. Peixe-gato

E se concordar em iniciar uma relação de compromisso, mas continua ativo em sites de encontros online?

Ok, então este não é o conselho mais saudável possível. E eu sei que te disse para não fazeres jogos, mas às vezes, tempos desesperados exigem medidas desesperadas.

If you don’t know what your guy is doing on all those dating sites, make a fake profile. Or just ask a close friend to get in touch with your guy.

I bet he’ll act as if he were single. This way, you’ll have proof that he’s lying to you.

Just a heads up: this is only a good idea if you are really leaving him! You can’t show up with a bunch of screenshots just to end up forgiving him.

Ver também: Porque é que os homens são rudes quando gostam de ti? (11 Razões +Dicas)

Como é que sabes se um rapaz online gosta mesmo de ti?

Aqui estão alguns dos sinais mais comuns de que um rapaz online está realmente interessado em si:

1. Está sempre a mandar-lhe mensagens.

2. Ele inicia a conversa.

3. You don’t have to wait for his reply.

4. Ele convida-a para um primeiro encontro.

Quando é que ele deve apagar o seu perfil de encontros?

Um homem deve apagar os seus perfis de encontros no momento em que inicia uma relação séria. Ideally, he shouldn’t wait for his girlfriend to nag about it, but he should do it himself.

Para terminar:

Instead of asking yourself, “If he likes me, why is he still online dating?” why don’t you ask yourself, O que é que ainda estou a fazer com este homem? Don’t ever give more than you receive, and don’t settle for less do que merece!

I know you’re tired of looking for the one, but trust me, it’s way better to ser solteiro do que estar com alguém que só a trata como uma das suas opções.

I’m not telling you to leave right away. But if he continues spending time on online dating sites even though you specifically ask him not to, it’s more than clear that he doesn’t care about you enough!