8 Sinais claros de que está a ser enganado por um jogador
So, you’ve been seeing this guy for a while now and you’ve learned a lot about each other’s habits, wishes, dreams, and lifestyle.
Perhaps you even met his friends and family, and he’s told you all of his secrets and let you “explore his world.”
Provavelmente, ele gosta de todas as suas publicações nas redes sociais e passar tempo consigo é a sua prioridade número um.
It’s evident that you’re in love with each other and he’s the one for you. Ou talvez não?
Quando se olha para o seu comportamento mais de perto e de uma perspetiva mais aprofundada, percebe-se que as coisas não são o que parecem.
He might be texting you regularly and never missing any of your phone calls, yet still be playing a cruel dating game – stringing you along.
Portanto, a questão é: Está a ser enganada por um jogador, apesar de ele lhe parecer realmente um bom rapaz e de a ter convencido do contrário?
You probably think that there’s no point in asking him anything about what you two have because if you do, you might appear too pushy, insecure, or childish. And you definitely don’t want that.
Por isso, ignora todas as bandeiras vermelhas e sinais de aviso e convence-se de que só precisa de mais tempo para desenvolver uma relação séria, ou que ele só precisa de mais tempo para ver as coisas com mais clareza e começar a fazer corresponder as suas palavras às suas acções.
Pensas e fazes tudo isto porque ele te fez pensar assim.
His every action has the specific purpose of making you believe that things are perfect, even though they’re actually far from it.
And by doing this, he’s just buying more time to keep stringing you along.
It’s time to open your eyes and see things as they are. If any of the following signs sound familiar to you, you’re being strung along by a player!
Ele evita falar sobre o futuro
You hang out, you laugh, you talk for hours on every topic under the sun, but there’s simply no mention about the future.
And whenever you try to take things to the next level, he’s simply not willing to participate and say what he really means.
You have no problems answering his every question, but you know that if you asked him about your future together, he wouldn’t be that pleased.
It’s evident that all he’s doing is applying the double standards rule and using you for an ego boost.
The more you’re scared of asking him questions about the future and where things are going, the more he’ll feel powerful and the one in control.
It’s clear that he’s a narcissist in disguise who is not interested in uma relação duradoura e saudável.
Instead, the only thing he’s really keen on is taking you for granted and treating you like a choice instead of a priority, all the while patiently waiting for someone new to enter his life and replace you.
That’s the only reason why he’s neither willing to let you go nor to treat you the way you deserve.
By making you feel like you’re in limbo, he’s just buying time to keep treating you like shit and boost his self-esteem and egocentric nature.
He’s ghosting you and then popping back up only when it’s convenient
According to relationship experts, ghosting is one of the most frequent methods used by players, narcissists, and other “toxic crew.” Now, let me explain the concept of ghosting.
He’s planning dates, texting you back frequently, always calling you and then, all of a sudden, he stops planning anything (let alone dates), there’s silence on the texting front, and he backs out last minute and disappears into the unknown.
You don’t see him or hear from him for days, weeks, or even months.
During this period, you start losing your mind and revising everything you’ve ever said or done, thinking that the problem lies in you.
You convince yourself that you did something wrong and that’s the only reason for his sudden disappearance from your life.
E depois, após o período sem contacto, ele entra na sua vida com uma desculpa perfeita, como se nada tivesse acontecido.
He even makes you feel sorry for him and his “misfortunes,” and if you start questioning his intentions, he’s even ready to accuse you of overreacting.
After ghosting you, he pops back up into your life only when it’s convenient for him – or put simply, when he has no one else to replace you.
It’s just how a player’s mind functions. If any of this sound familiar to you, you know that you’re being strung along, and it’s time to set new rules and save yourself!
He doesn’t accept you for who you are
Ele faz-nos sentir culpados pelos nossos defeitos, hábitos e todas as pequenas coisas que fazem de nós quem somos.
Ele faz-nos sentir menos dignos e lembra-nos constantemente apenas as coisas negativas.
He’s not only unwilling to accept you for who you really are, he’s also comparing you with other women or an imaginary “perfect woman” that you should become.
He’s doing all of this because he’s frustrated and dissatisfied with himself in the first place.
Also, he doesn’t accept you for who you are in order to keep making you feel less worthy.
Esta é uma das estratégias mais poderosas quando se trata de enganar e manipular.
By making you feel like shit and stringing you along, he’s making you more attached to himself, which is his main goal.
He needs to know that you’ll keep fighting for him and accepting him whenever he decides to come back into your life, no matter how bad he treated you.
It’s the only way for him to keep playing his dirty game and preserve the status of “an innocent man.”
Falta de comunicação significativa
You no longer have eye-to-eye, inspiring, meaningful conversations with each other because he doesn’t even bother sharing anything with you about his life.
Tudo o que fazem é cumprimentarem-se e continuarem com a vossa rotina.
There’s no deep connection, cuddling, or anything related to intimacy. Also, you go out of your way to ask him questions about his hobbies, friends, job, and other things only to make him talk and finally get some feedback.
Mas isso nunca acontece. Quanto mais tentamos chegar a ele, mais ele se afasta, certo?
The more you text him, the more he’s unwilling to text you back. The same goes with calls and everything else.
Then you start making excuses for his shitty behavior, thinking that this is how a relationship develops in the modern dating world. But deep down in your heart, you know that this isn’t true.
After that, you start looking for dating advice from your friends or online in order to find out what the hell’s actually going on.
And that is when you realize that you’re being strung along by a player who is not willing to lift a finger, let alone have a meaningful conversation with you or treat you with respect and dignity.
Ver também: Ele é um jogador? 13 sinais de alerta de que um homem não está a falar a sério contigo
He doesn’t bother introducing you to his friends and family
He never mentions his friends or any single member of his family, as if they don’t even exist.
E sempre que lhe pedimos para nos falar mais sobre eles, ele evita-o como a peste e fica visivelmente confuso ou irritado.
You can’t think of any valid reason why he’d dodge introducing you to his friends and family because you’ve been having a good time together and everything seems perfect.
You expected that your relationship would flourish, that you’d finally include your friends and family into the story as well, but unfortunately that’s the last thing on his mind at the moment.
Porquê?
Porque apresentar-te aos amigos e à família dele significa entrar na zona das relações sérias, which is a big no-no for him, given that all he really wants is to continue treating you like an option – like someone that he’ll likely replace someday with someone else.
If this is happening to you, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re being strung along by a player who doesn’t want anything serious with you and isn’t ready to show you proudly to his friends and family!
Trust me on this, a guy who’s ready to make you his, respect you, fight for you, and genuinely make an effort would never bypass introducing you to the people who matter to him.
He’s constantly disrespecting you
Ser enganado equivale a ser constantemente desrespeitado e forçado a sentir-se menos digno e sem importância.
There are many forms of disrespect and if he exhibits any of the following, you know that you’re being strung along for sure.
You know that it’s time to work a little bit more on self-love and appreciating yourself more:
- Ele deixa-nos sempre à espera dele
- Ele nunca ouve o que tens para lhe dizer
- He always ensures you feel like you’re doing everything wrong
- He always compares you to other people to prove that you’re not good enough
- He’s constantly focused on pointing out your flaws, attitude, and all the “negative things” about you
- He’s interested in you only when it comes to having sex with him
- Está sempre a arranjar desculpas para tudo
- He doesn’t make an effort to make you feel special
- Esquece-se sempre das coisas, das datas e de tudo o resto
Todas estas situações são grandes sinais de alerta e sinais do maior desrespeito por si.
It means that he knows he’s treating you like shit, and he still doesn’t have the decency to apologize for it, let alone make an effort to start treating you right.
It means he’s a player whose main job is stringing you along and making you believe that you’re the one who needs fixing, when you yourself know that the only person who needs serious fixing is himself.
You’re feeling lonely in the relationship
This one is a confusing feeling because you know you’re missing something, but you’re not quite sure what it is.
You might think you’re missing him because he’s never around or when he is, a única coisa que ele faz é ignorar-te, but the real truth is that you’re feeling lonely in the relationship because of something else.
You’re feeling lonely because you’re being strung along and probably not even aware of it.
And the most important thing you need to remember about it is that what you’re feeling is not real.
You’re feeling lonely because he made you feel that way so that he can control you better.
He’s never there for you only to make you need him more. He doesn’t give you compliments only to make you feel less worthy.
He’s not treating you with respect only to make you work harder to win it from him.
He convinces you that what you’re doing is wrong to prove that he’s the one who’s right – the one you can’t live without.
Tudo isto faz com que se sinta só, triste, isolado e perdido numa relação com um jogador.
All these are his main tools to make you feel trapped in your own body – like a prisoner of your own soul.
Stringing you along is his main agenda because he’s no intention of treating you the way you really deserve to be treated.
Ver também: 10 diferenças entre um jogador e um homem para sempre
Your gut feeling is telling you that something’s terribly wrong
Do you have that inner feeling that something’s terribly wrong regarding his behavior and that you need to save yourself?
Tem aquela vozinha na sua cabeça que lhe diz que deve fugir para salvar a sua vida, porque isto não é algo para o qual se tenha inscrito no início?
Se sim, então é provável que a sua intuição esteja certa. Afinal de contas, a sua intuição é uma das forças mais poderosas do universo e não deve ser ignorada.
Our intuition tells us things that our mind can’t understand.
Like when we’re stuck in overthinking and making multiple excuses, without being aware that there’s actually nothing wrong with us because we’re being strung along – we’re the victim of a player.
A nossa intuição ajuda-nos a compreender tudo isto. Motiva-nos a lutar pela nossa própria felicidade e pelo tratamento que merecemos.
Considerações finais
If any of the above signs ring true you can be sure you’re being strung along, and there’s no point in letting a player destroy you completely and continue feeding of your innocence and kindness.
It’s time to set boundaries and reset your priorities because the man (if he can even be called that) you’re with is simply not worthy of a second of your time.
Now, I don’t mean things will be easy for you the moment you leave him.
It’ll be hard because being strung along is one of the most exhausting and traumatizing things that can happen to someone.
It’ll be tough, but the longer you spend time apart from his toxic nature and with the people who truly care about you, the faster you’ll start healing.
And one day you’ll wake up and thank God that you finally left him.
You’ll thank your lucky stars that you saved yourself from the shackles of a player, because it was the only reasonable and right thing to do.
Ver também: 6 maneiras à prova de bala para superar um jogador
