Você deve continuar amigo do seu ex? A lista definitiva de prós e contras
Break-ups are always tough, no matter who decided to end the relationship. Even though the relationship has ended, both partners won’t lose feelings immediately.
One side will always suffer and the other side will feel bad for hurting their feelings; that’s why it’s always difficult for all of us to deal with a break-up.
Agora, a questão que todos nós gostaríamos de saber a resposta é se devemos ou não continuar a ser amigos do nosso ex depois de uma separação.
É possível manter a amizade com o ex depois de uma separação? É realmente uma ideia inteligente continuar a ser amigo do seu ex? Por outro lado, quem é que precisa de inimigos na vida, certo?
If you’re in a dilemma about whether you should become friends com o seu ex ou não, aqui estão alguns vantagens e desvantagens of that ‘friendship’.
✔ Your ex knows you best; they get you
Se a relação terminou de forma positiva, pode tornar-se verdadeiramente o melhor amigo do seu ex. Afinal de contas, quem é que o conhece melhor do que essa pessoa?
They know how you think and act in certain situations and that’s why they can always give you good advice about everything.
They won’t judge you no matter what you do because they know you and they can’t be surprised by your actions. If there are no feelings involved between you two, they can greatly help you with your love life.
✖ Your ex knows you best; that means they know all of your secrets
Hmm… Is it really a good thing that they know you best? They know your opinions about certain people, they know your flaws, they know all of your secrets.
Who can guarantee you that they won’t use this against you at a certain moment? You won’t feel comfortable around them because you’ll always wonder whether or not they told your mutual friends your secrets.
✔ You’ll finally have a male friend
Female friendships are great. The bond between the two women is unlike any other. But let’s be honest, it would be great to have um amigo do sexo masculino, uma perspetiva masculina.
Men are always more honest in friendships than women. He’ll tell you if that dress doesn’t suit you or if you’re wearing too much make-up.
He could give you the best advice on men because duh, he’s a guy too. He knows how men think and he can help you with understanding guys.
✖ He might pretend that he wants to be friends just to win you back
Maybe he still has feelings for you and he can’t come to terms with the break-up. Maybe being friends with you is just one of his methods to win you back.
✔ It’s the mature thing to do
Your ex asked you to remain friends and everyone around you says that you should do it because it’s the mature thing to do and they’re right.
Mesmo que ainda sinta algo por ele que vos impede de continuar a ser amigos, é preciso aprender a controlar as emoções.
✖ There is a reason why you are exes
You had your reasons for the break-up. They hurt you, you hurt them, it’s irrelevant. The important thing is that you couldn’t get along as a couple, so why should you as friends?
There are still some unfinished issues remaining from the past and sooner or later, they’ll come to the surface.
✔ They can help you move on
If you decide to remain friends with your ex, you’ll communicate more and that’ll help you to get the closure you need. You’ll talk about all problems you had in the relationship that eventually led you to the break-up.
In those talks, you’ll realize that your partner doesn’t have any romantic feelings for you anymore. You’ll understand that it’s over for good and that it’s time para seguir em frente.
✖ They can become a problem for your next relationship
Maybe you’re okay with hanging out with your ex but it could be a problem for your next partner. They’ll be jealous because they won’t believe that it’s only friendship.
On the other hand, your ex can also become jealous and understand that he’s not completely over you. Maybe he’ll be honest and admit this to you but he may try to separate you from your new partner.
Como pode ver, há algumas vantagens em tornar-se amigo do seu ex, mas também há alguns aspectos negativos que podem afetar a sua vida de muitas formas.
A única coisa que sabemos com certeza é que esta é uma situação delicada e é preciso dar a si próprio algum tempo para processar a separação. Depois, a decisão cabe-lhe a si.
