13 sinais infelizes de que você está casado com uma esposa egoísta
According to most marriage advice, selflessness is a crucial part of every healthy relationship and good marriage. However, more and more marriages and relationships face the same problem—the problem of a selfish wife or a selfish husband.
A selfish wife is one who only looks after her own needs and is interested in her own life. One who rarely takes her husband’s feelings into consideration, who wants everything to go her way and who thinks that the world revolves around her.
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, in that case, you should definitely check out these unpleasant signs that you have a selfish wife, which will also help you understand how to deal with a selfish partner.
1. Ela espera que estejas sempre lá para ela, mas nunca retribui o favor
Num casamento saudável, é natural que tanto o marido como a mulher estejam presentes um para o outro, aconteça o que acontecer.
After some years of marriage, you two become one another’s melhores amigos e o maior apoio na doença e na saúde e nos dias bons e maus, tal como dizem os vossos votos de casamento.
However, in your marriage, things don’t actually work that way. In fact, when you have a selfish spouse, she expects you to always be there for her but the first time you ask her to return the favor, she denies you it.
Ela quer que a ouça, que a faça avançar, que a inspire e que acredite nela. Acima de tudo, esta mulher quer que lhe enxugues as lágrimas, que lhe ponhas um sorriso no rosto e que lhe dês o apoio de que precisa.
Nevertheless, she never treats you the same. In fact, when you’re going through any kind of trouble, she is nowhere to be found.
O seu parceiro egoísta não está lá para o confortar, ser o vento sob as suas asas ou um ombro para chorar, são sinais claros de egoísmo.
2. Só se preocupa com as suas próprias necessidades
Dar prioridade a si próprio é ótimo e não é de forma alguma uma forma de comportamento egoísta, mesmo depois de anos de casamento. Colocar a sua felicidade em primeiro lugar é algo que todos nós deveríamos fazer.
However, you and your wife are now a team and you should be united. You’re equal partners in crime and nobody is more important than the other. At least, that is how things should be.
Well, if you’re dealing with a selfish wife, her needs will always come before yours. Her satisfaction and pleasure are the most significant things in the world, while yours don’t even matter.
Selfish wives don’t care about how their husband feels. They’re not interested in their well being and all they care about is themselves.
3. She doesn’t take responsibility
Todas as relações são uma via de dois sentidos. Isso significa que ambas as pessoas envolvidas têm de tentar fazer com que a relação funcione. É impossível que uma das partes assuma todas as culpas e seja sempre culpada pelas coisas más que acontecem.
That is exactly what’s happening in your married life; you’re always the one your wife blames for literally everything that’s not perfect or okay.
Esta mulher nunca assume a responsabilidade pelas suas palavras e acções. Em vez disso, ela acende a luz do gás into thinking that you’re guilty, even when she’s the one who made a mistake.
When your wife apologizes, she doesn’t do it sincerely from the heart. Somehow, she always finds a way to tell you that you provoked her into treating you badly or that you’re the cause of her toxic behavior.
All of this is a sign that this woman doesn’t actually care much about your feelings and that she is the selfish partner here. She is obviously playing with your subconscious, trying to make you look like the bad guy at all times, even though the truth is much different.
Don’t fool yourself by thinking that she doesn’t see how things really are. She is perfectly aware that she also carries a part of the responsibility for bad things going on in your marriage but she deliberately chooses not to.
4. She doesn’t listen to you
Has it ever happened to you that you feel like your spouse doesn’t pay any attention whatsoever to the things you’re saying? That she actually doesn’t put any effort into understanding your points of view and getting to the bottom of your personality, despite the fact that she is your life partner?
Well, in that case, I’m sorry to break it to you but you’re dealing with a selfish wife. You have a wife who doesn’t give a damn about what you have to tell her, who doesn’t even try to understand you and who is always too busy to hear you out.
When you come to think about it, you have pretty poor communication in your marriage and mostly, it’s your wife’s fault. She is the one who doesn’t take your opinion into consideration and who never stops for a minute just to hear you out.
5. She doesn’t take part in your interests
Tu e a tua mulher são dois indivíduos distintos. Só porque vocês se tornaram um casal, it doesn’t mean that you ceased to exist as two different people.
However, when you love someone, you’ll try your best to be included in their life. You’ll put an effort into liking the things they like, just to have something in common to share.
Nevertheless, your wife doesn’t take part in your interests at all. She refuses to get involved in something you enjoy doing, even though she knows it would make you happy.
For her, it is too much of a sacrifice to watch an action movie for the sake of your love, even if she prefers romantic comedies, to accompany you to a concert of your favorite band even if she doesn’t enjoy listening to them or to watch a football match with you every once in a while.
Don’t get me wrong—nobody is asking her to change her tastes in music, movies or food. However, it would be nice of her to make some compromises because of you.
6. Ela é mandona
It’s one thing if you’re the type of guy who likes dominant women. You don’t feel threatened if you have a wife who knows what she wants from life and who doesn’t hesitate to take it, and also who is completely independente .
No entanto, é completamente diferente quando ela é mandona e lhe dá ordens, pois isso é algo que só as pessoas egoístas fazem.
Ever since you two got married, she’s been ordering you around. Everything has to be her way and she expects you to blindly obey her and follow her instructions.
The moment you do something she doesn’t like, problems arise. It appears that she only loves you until you allow her to treat you like her subordinate.
This woman doesn’t understand that a happy marriage is all about equality. She doesn’t let you take part in the decision-making process when it comes to your life and acts like she owns you or as if you’re her doormat.
Compromise is an unknown word to this woman. She wouldn’t make one step toward meeting you halfway even if her life depended on it.
7. She threatens to leave when things don’t go her way
Let’s be honest; in every marriage and romantic relationship there comes a moment when one of you threatens to leave in the heat of an argument.
A certa altura, pensa que o seu a relação não tem futuro and you’re so angry that you see walking away as the best option you have.
However, things like these escalate too often in your married life. In fact, your wife emotionally blackmails you. She threatens to leave you every time something doesn’t go the way she wanted or planned and that is anything but a happy marriage.
Basicamente, sente-se sem esperança e não vê qualquer saída. Se lhe disser a sua opinião, que não é a mesma que a dela, ela provavelmente pedirá o divórcio.
No final do dia, se quer manter o seu casamento, não tem outra escolha senão concordar com ela. Bem, deixem-me dizer-vos que isto não passa de uma forma de manipulação.
8. O ego dela está em primeiro lugar
All of us should have our pride and work hard to keep our dignity. However, love should always be above these things; of course, that’s if we’re talking about true love.
Well, that’s not how your wife rolls. In fact, she is a self-centered person who puts her ego above your marriage and above the alleged feelings she has for you.
When you two argue, she doesn’t care about reaching a final conclusion. She is not interested in making your fights productive; she is only interested in proving her point and coming out of all of your arguments right and undefeated.
Looking at things from this perspective, you’ll admit that for your selfish wife, her ego is more important than you and the future of your marriage.
9. Ela é financeiramente irresponsável
Provavelmente, ambos têm emprego e as vossas próprias fontes de rendimento, o que é ótimo. Afinal de contas, todas as pessoas neste mundo deveriam, idealmente, ser financeiramente independentes, independentemente do seu estado civil.
However, you’re no longer dating. From the day you got married, you both agreed to share a life together. Not only that—you live in the same household as well. Therefore, it would be logical that you share both your incomes and costs.
No entanto, a sua mulher é incrivelmente irresponsável no que diz respeito a questões financeiras. Ela age como se o dinheiro fosse só dela, enquanto o seu salário é para ser partilhado e gasto em conjunto por vocês os dois.
Don’t get me wrong—nobody is claiming that your wife shouldn’t have her own money. However, it is certainly not fair that she expects you to cover all the expenses of your marriage while she wastes her entire paycheck on herself, as if you don’t exist and as if you two are not family members.
Por exemplo, haverá sempre dinheiro suficiente em casa para os desejos dela. Ela tem o direito de se mimar a si própria, enquanto você deve gerir o dinheiro que sobra.
10. She doesn’t appreciate you
When you’re involved with a real woman, she’ll know how to appreciate everything you do for her.
It doesn’t mean that she has to be eternally grateful for the fact that you’re a bom marido but she’ll certainly respect all the sacrifices you make for the sake of your marriage and everything you do to make her happy.
On the other hand, your wife is selfish because she takes you for granted. She doesn’t appreciate you and acts as if she’s not happy to have such a great man like you by her side.
11. Ela toma todas as decisões
Selfishness, the same way as selflessness, can sometimes be seen in little, seemingly irrelevant things. One of the signs that your spouse is selfish is that they’re the one making all the choices and decisions about your life together.
For example, you two always go on vacation to the places she wants to visit. It doesn’t matter whether you prefer the mountains over the seaside; you’ll always put your desires aside, try your best to please her and do things her way.
The same goes for some everyday stuff. You’ll always spend your free time the way it suits her the best, you’ll go to the restaurants where she likes to eat and you’ll sleep together whenever she is in the mood.
12. Ela nunca se aproxima de ti primeiro depois de uma discussão
Todos os casais discutem. De facto, quando se casarQuando se está numa relação, começa-se a discutir com mais frequência do que quando se estava apenas numa relação.
Portanto, a questão do egoísmo dela não está no facto de vocês discutirem. A questão é que ela quase nunca o aborda primeiro depois de qualquer desentendimento que tenham tido.
You might not notice this at first but if you look at things a little deeper, you’ll come to the conclusion that your selfish wife actually almost never made the first step toward your reconciliation. It’s like she could stay mad at you forever or continue giving you the silent treatment for the rest of your lives.
Instead, you’re always the one who apologizes and who tries to make things work.
13. She doesn’t do any work around the house
In a good marriage, both partners share their duties around the house. The time when it was only a woman’s job to go to the grocery store, cook and clean for the entire family while a man was there to financially provide for them, are luckily long gone.
However, just because you two are equals and because you’re not a selfish man who treats his wife like a personal servant or a doormat, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for her not to do any work around the house.
De facto, a sua mulher egoísta age como se fosse uma hóspede num hotel de luxo a maior parte do tempo. Ela espera que você faça todas as tarefas, que conserte as coisas da casa, que compre comida no supermercado, que cozinhe o almoço e assim por diante.
Se os dois têm filhos, a situação é praticamente a mesma no que diz respeito a co-parentalidade as well. It doesn’t have to mean that she completely disregards your children but the fact is that you do much more as their father than her as their mother.
