13 desafortunadas señales de que estás casado con una esposa egoísta
According to most marriage advice, selflessness is a crucial part of every healthy relationship and good marriage. However, more and more marriages and relationships face the same problem—the problem of a selfish wife or a selfish husband.
A selfish wife is one who only looks after her own needs and is interested in her own life. One who rarely takes her husband’s feelings into consideration, who wants everything to go her way and who thinks that the world revolves around her.
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, in that case, you should definitely check out these unpleasant signs that you have a selfish wife, which will also help you understand how to deal with a selfish partner.
1. Espera que siempre estés ahí para ella pero nunca te devuelve el favor
En un matrimonio sano, es natural que tanto el marido como la mujer se apoyen mutuamente, pase lo que pase.
After some years of marriage, you two become one another’s mejores amigos y el mayor apoyo en la salud y en la enfermedad y en los días buenos y malos, como dicen vuestros votos matrimoniales.
However, in your marriage, things don’t actually work that way. In fact, when you have a selfish spouse, she expects you to always be there for her but the first time you ask her to return the favor, she denies you it.
Quiere que la escuches, que la hagas avanzar, que la inspires y que creas en ella. Y lo que es más importante, esta mujer quiere que le enjugues las lágrimas, le pongas una sonrisa en la cara y le des el apoyo que necesita.
Nevertheless, she never treats you the same. In fact, when you’re going through any kind of trouble, she is nowhere to be found.
Su socio egoísta no está ahí para consolarte, ser el viento bajo tus alas o un hombro sobre el que llorar y son claros signos de egoísmo.
2. Sólo se preocupa de sus propias necesidades
Dar prioridad a uno mismo es estupendo y no es en absoluto una forma de comportamiento egoísta, ni siquiera después de años de matrimonio. Poner tu felicidad en primer lugar es algo que todos deberíamos hacer.
However, you and your wife are now a team and you should be united. You’re equal partners in crime and nobody is more important than the other. At least, that is how things should be.
Well, if you’re dealing with a selfish wife, her needs will always come before yours. Her satisfaction and pleasure are the most significant things in the world, while yours don’t even matter.
Selfish wives don’t care about how their husband feels. They’re not interested in their well being and all they care about is themselves.
3. She doesn’t take responsibility
Toda relación es una calle de doble sentido. Significa que las dos personas implicadas en ella tienen que intentar que funcione. Es imposible que una de las partes cargue con toda la culpa y sea siempre culpable de que ocurran cosas malas.
That is exactly what’s happening in your married life; you’re always the one your wife blames for literally everything that’s not perfect or okay.
Esta mujer nunca asume la responsabilidad de sus palabras y acciones. En lugar de eso, ella te ilumina con gas into thinking that you’re guilty, even when she’s the one who made a mistake.
When your wife apologizes, she doesn’t do it sincerely from the heart. Somehow, she always finds a way to tell you that you provoked her into treating you badly or that you’re the cause of her toxic behavior.
All of this is a sign that this woman doesn’t actually care much about your feelings and that she is the selfish partner here. She is obviously playing with your subconscious, trying to make you look like the bad guy at all times, even though the truth is much different.
Don’t fool yourself by thinking that she doesn’t see how things really are. She is perfectly aware that she also carries a part of the responsibility for bad things going on in your marriage but she deliberately chooses not to.
4. She doesn’t listen to you
Has it ever happened to you that you feel like your spouse doesn’t pay any attention whatsoever to the things you’re saying? That she actually doesn’t put any effort into understanding your points of view and getting to the bottom of your personality, despite the fact that she is your life partner?
Well, in that case, I’m sorry to break it to you but you’re dealing with a selfish wife. You have a wife who doesn’t give a damn about what you have to tell her, who doesn’t even try to understand you and who is always too busy to hear you out.
When you come to think about it, you have pretty poor communication in your marriage and mostly, it’s your wife’s fault. She is the one who doesn’t take your opinion into consideration and who never stops for a minute just to hear you out.
5. She doesn’t take part in your interests
Tú y tu mujer sois dos personas distintas. Sólo porque os hayáis convertido en una pareja casada, it doesn’t mean that you ceased to exist as two different people.
However, when you love someone, you’ll try your best to be included in their life. You’ll put an effort into liking the things they like, just to have something in common to share.
Nevertheless, your wife doesn’t take part in your interests at all. She refuses to get involved in something you enjoy doing, even though she knows it would make you happy.
For her, it is too much of a sacrifice to watch an action movie for the sake of your love, even if she prefers romantic comedies, to accompany you to a concert of your favorite band even if she doesn’t enjoy listening to them or to watch a football match with you every once in a while.
Don’t get me wrong—nobody is asking her to change her tastes in music, movies or food. However, it would be nice of her to make some compromises because of you.
6. Es mandona
It’s one thing if you’re the type of guy who likes dominant women. You don’t feel threatened if you have a wife who knows what she wants from life and who doesn’t hesitate to take it, and also who is completely independiente .
Sin embargo, es completamente diferente cuando es mandona y te da órdenes, ya que eso es algo que sólo hacen las personas egoístas.
Ever since you two got married, she’s been ordering you around. Everything has to be her way and she expects you to blindly obey her and follow her instructions.
The moment you do something she doesn’t like, problems arise. It appears that she only loves you until you allow her to treat you like her subordinate.
This woman doesn’t understand that a happy marriage is all about equality. She doesn’t let you take part in the decision-making process when it comes to your life and acts like she owns you or as if you’re her doormat.
Compromise is an unknown word to this woman. She wouldn’t make one step toward meeting you halfway even if her life depended on it.
7. She threatens to leave when things don’t go her way
Let’s be honest; in every marriage and romantic relationship there comes a moment when one of you threatens to leave in the heat of an argument.
En un momento dado, crees que tu la relación no tiene futuro and you’re so angry that you see walking away as the best option you have.
However, things like these escalate too often in your married life. In fact, your wife emotionally blackmails you. She threatens to leave you every time something doesn’t go the way she wanted or planned and that is anything but a happy marriage.
Básicamente, te sientes desesperado y no ves salida. Si le dices tu opinión, que no es la misma que la suya, probablemente te pedirá el divorcio.
A fin de cuentas, si quieres conservar tu matrimonio, no te queda más remedio que darle la razón. Pues déjame decirte que esto no es más que una forma de manipulación.
8. Su ego es lo primero
All of us should have our pride and work hard to keep our dignity. However, love should always be above these things; of course, that’s if we’re talking about true love.
Well, that’s not how your wife rolls. In fact, she is a self-centered person who puts her ego above your marriage and above the alleged feelings she has for you.
When you two argue, she doesn’t care about reaching a final conclusion. She is not interested in making your fights productive; she is only interested in proving her point and coming out of all of your arguments right and undefeated.
Looking at things from this perspective, you’ll admit that for your selfish wife, her ego is more important than you and the future of your marriage.
9. Es financieramente irresponsable
Probablemente ambos tengáis trabajo y vuestras propias fuentes de ingresos, lo cual es estupendo. Después de todo, lo ideal sería que todas las personas de este mundo fueran económicamente independientes, independientemente de su estado civil.
However, you’re no longer dating. From the day you got married, you both agreed to share a life together. Not only that—you live in the same household as well. Therefore, it would be logical that you share both your incomes and costs.
Sin embargo, tu mujer es increíblemente irresponsable cuando se trata de asuntos financieros. Actúa como si su dinero fuera sólo suyo, mientras que tu sueldo es para compartirlo y gastarlo juntos.
Don’t get me wrong—nobody is claiming that your wife shouldn’t have her own money. However, it is certainly not fair that she expects you to cover all the expenses of your marriage while she wastes her entire paycheck on herself, as if you don’t exist and as if you two are not family members.
Por ejemplo, siempre habrá dinero suficiente en casa para sus deseos. Ella tiene derecho a mimarse, mientras que tú debes arreglártelas con el dinero que quede.
10. She doesn’t appreciate you
When you’re involved with a real woman, she’ll know how to appreciate everything you do for her.
It doesn’t mean that she has to be eternally grateful for the fact that you’re a buen marido but she’ll certainly respect all the sacrifices you make for the sake of your marriage and everything you do to make her happy.
On the other hand, your wife is selfish because she takes you for granted. She doesn’t appreciate you and acts as if she’s not happy to have such a great man like you by her side.
11. Toma todas las decisiones
Selfishness, the same way as selflessness, can sometimes be seen in little, seemingly irrelevant things. One of the signs that your spouse is selfish is that they’re the one making all the choices and decisions about your life together.
For example, you two always go on vacation to the places she wants to visit. It doesn’t matter whether you prefer the mountains over the seaside; you’ll always put your desires aside, try your best to please her and do things her way.
The same goes for some everyday stuff. You’ll always spend your free time the way it suits her the best, you’ll go to the restaurants where she likes to eat and you’ll sleep together whenever she is in the mood.
12. Nunca se acerca a ti primero después de una pelea
Todas las parejas se pelean. De hecho, cuando casarse...soléis empezar a discutir más a menudo que cuando sólo teníais una relación.
Entonces, el punto sobre su egoísmo no está en el hecho de que ustedes dos peleen. El punto es que ella casi nunca se acerca a ti primero después de cualquier desacuerdo que hayan tenido.
You might not notice this at first but if you look at things a little deeper, you’ll come to the conclusion that your selfish wife actually almost never made the first step toward your reconciliation. It’s like she could stay mad at you forever or continue giving you the silent treatment for the rest of your lives.
Instead, you’re always the one who apologizes and who tries to make things work.
13. She doesn’t do any work around the house
In a good marriage, both partners share their duties around the house. The time when it was only a woman’s job to go to the grocery store, cook and clean for the entire family while a man was there to financially provide for them, are luckily long gone.
However, just because you two are equals and because you’re not a selfish man who treats his wife like a personal servant or a doormat, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for her not to do any work around the house.
De hecho, tu egoísta esposa actúa como si fuera una huésped en un hotel de lujo la mayor parte del tiempo. Espera que tú hagas todas las tareas, arregles las cosas de la casa, compres la comida en el supermercado, prepares el almuerzo, etcétera.
Si los dos tenéis hijos, la situación es bastante parecida en lo que se refiere a coparentalidad as well. It doesn’t have to mean that she completely disregards your children but the fact is that you do much more as their father than her as their mother.
