28 sinais óbvios de uma namorada traidora e as melhores maneiras de lidar com isso

À procura de sinais de um namorada traidora? I’m sorry it has come to this, but if your partner is indeed a cheater, you deserve to know!

Lately, you’ve noticed her taking phone calls at weird hours, a sudden change in her busy schedule, unknown guys commenting on her social media posts, and her buying new clothes.

She’s been spending less time with you and more time with new friends. And now, you’re worried that there are even more warning signs that you’ve been oblivious to.

That’s where I come in. As a self-proclaimed relationship expert, I’m thoroughly familiar with all the subtle signs that some might miss.

I just need to warn you of a few things. Don’t let this control your life and don’t get too tangled up in her lies and deceit. I am going to help you figure out the next course of action.

However, you need to be smart about this. Things could turn sour really quickly if you don’t play it smart. Pay attention and follow my lead.

I’m going to present to you the telltale signs your girlfriend is cheating, help you cope with it, and list things to AVOID doing. So bear with me.

Sinais vermelhos que provam que a sua namorada está a ser infiel

Ela continua a fazer coisas sem o incluir nos seus planos

Recentemente, eram inseparáveis. Se havia um plano, ambos faziam parte dele e não era preciso dizer nada.

But in the past few weeks, or even months, she’s been making various plans with one notable difference; she’s stopped including you.

It’s either little road trips with friends, nights out with co-workers or a family night with her siblings. And even though you always used to be her plus one, lately, there’s no room for you.

If you’re being honest, it has started to really gnaw at you. What the hell is going on all of a sudden?

Começou a apagar diariamente o histórico do seu browser

This is something she never used to care about. She’d Google the most random stuff and just leave it there knowing you’d probably tease her (which she secretly loved).

Mas agora, no momento em que ela se levanta do portátil, sabe-se que o histórico de pesquisa vai estar vazio.

Sure, people do this and it’s not that weird but for someone who never gave a damn about this a few weeks ago, it sure seems suspicious.

You don’t want to seem paranoid but you know her too well to think it was for no reason.

Passa a maior parte do tempo colada ao telemóvel a enviar mensagens a alguém

As mensagens de texto sempre foram o meio de comunicação preferido dela, mas o problema é que estiveste na ponta recetora durante muito tempo.

But now, even when she’s with you, she is glued to her phone and kind of secretive about who she’s texting. If it was a friend, wouldn’t she just tell you because it’s honestly no big deal?

This is easily a good sign that she’s hiding something. When you’re constantly on your phone but unwilling to tell your partner who you’re texting, there’s definitely something fishy going on there.

Veja também: Como pedir desculpas por traição: 10 maneiras de fazer com que seu parceiro o perdoe

Evita falar sobre o vosso futuro comum (grande sinal de alarme!)

Costumavam ter tantos planos e estavam ambos igualmente entusiasmados com eles. Mas agora, sempre que mencionas algum desses planos, ela muda de assunto.

It’s like she feels uncomfortable discussing it but you can’t figure out why. Could she be having second thoughts?

De todos os sinais de uma namorada traidora, evitar tópicos relacionados com o vosso futuro conjunto parece ser algo com que se deve preocupar.

Ela começou um novo passatempo que nunca deixa que a acompanhe

And frankly, you’re really suspicious. Why would she keep refusing to let you give her a ride, not to mention keep her company there?

Será que ela gosta mesmo de andar a cavalo de repente ou está a usar isso como fachada para as suas actividades de traição?

Muda rapidamente de assunto quando se fala de uma pessoa em particular

There’s this guy you’ve always had your doubts about. Maybe this is an old friend who clearly has a thing for her or a co-worker she seems too cozy with.

For whatever reason, you’ve always felt a weird vibe around him and now, whenever you mention this guy’s name, she blushes.

No matter how hard she tries not to, it’s all over her face. She feels deeply uncomfortable discussing him, and what reason could she possibly have for that?

Ela raramente tem tempo para sair, mas as suas desculpas não são propriamente convincentes

It’s okay if you don’t always have time to hang out but at least give a good excuse, right? Well, not according to her.

She has stopped caring about being convincing. She just blurts something out half-heartedly or says she’s too busy and that’s it.

You can see her apathy from miles away, but you keep convincing yourself that it’s all in your head (knowing very well that it’s a lie).

De repente, ela quer sempre saber onde estás e todos os teus passos

Há, obviamente, muitos sinais de uma namorada traidora, mas o facto de querer saber o seu paradeiro exato permanece no top ten.

You’re not a paranoid person but it totally makes sense that she’d want to know this so as not to get caught with her new partner.

You can’t even believe that you’re even saying it, but what’s the point in deluding yourself anymore?

Ela culpa o seu trabalho por todos os problemas

Whatever fight you have or whatever complaint you have about her, it’s all work. It’s either the reason for her strange behavior or it’s what’s been keeping her on edge.

However, that’s just too convenient. We could all easily be blaming stuff on our hectic schedules but at some point, that just becomes absurd.

She clearly doesn’t even know what the hell she’s doing and she’s desperately grasping at straws, hoping you’d go for the BS. But you know better than that.

She frequently has to leave abruptly, citing a ‘friend emergency’

It’s kind of like those scenes in the movies when an on-call doctor gets paged for an ER emergency. Only she’s not a doctor and there is obviously no emergency.

É apenas uma amiga que alinha na mentira dela, ajudando-a a evitar passar tempo consigo.

Once, you may have even believed her but does she honestly expect you to believe that her bestie keeps having meltdowns every other day? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Veja também: 15 coisas que você deve colocar na sua lista de necessidades de relacionamento

Começou a vestir-se de forma diferente, sem mais nem menos

Not that she didn’t care about how she looked before, but now, it’s a whole new her. She’s been buying clothes that she normally doesn’t wear and splurging more than usual.

The worst thing is, she doesn’t even think that you notice these things, but how could you not? You know her better than anyone.

And naturally, you’d be the first to notice all these sure signs of something being off about her.
Durante quanto tempo é que ela vai continuar com isto e quando é que se deve fazer alguma coisa?

Cada coisa que fazes começa a irritá-la

Este é um dos sinais mais dolorosos de uma namorada traidora. Cada coisa que fazes começa a incomodá-la.

A forma como mastigas, como te sentas, a tua proximidade e as tuas peculiaridades que ela costumava achar adoráveis.
Now, she’s always snapping at you about the littlest things.

And you have to be honest with yourself. These things don’t just happen for no reason. Something has to be causing them.

She doesn’t want to introduce you to her new friends

She has this new crew that she’s always going on about, but so far, not even a mention of meeting them. What gives?

Could it be because she has another guy and she plans on getting rid of you? Or maybe, she just hasn’t gotten round to it yet?

It would be awesome if it was the latter, but something tells you that it’s the former.

Está sempre distraída e raramente estabelece contacto visual

Your previously extremely attentive girlfriend has become so distracted. You’ll ask her something, and she’ll just blurt out yes, even though it wasn’t a yes or no question.

She rarely offers eye contact and she never really seems to know where her head is at. It feels like she’s juggling a little too much and it’s really starting to affect her behavior.

You’ve found new sultry lingerie that she’s never worn for you

No início, a sua imaginação estava à flor da pele. Encontrou a lingerie e acreditou que ela a estava a guardar para uma ocasião especial, por isso esperou pacientemente.

But weeks have gone by, and she still hasn’t worn them for you. I mean, what’s the point of buying lingerie that you won’t wear?

Unless she is wearing it… only not for you. You’re not really sure whether you should be heartbroken or mad or confront her about it.

She doesn’t care about being physical with you anymore

Ela adorava uma boa e quente brincadeira debaixo dos lençóis. Estavam tão em sintonia e raramente passavam mais do que alguns dias sem o fazer.

But now, she’s never in the mood. It’s like those clichés in movies. She’s either got a headache, she has to get up early or she has extra work to catch up on.

Para onde foram as necessidades dela? Estão a ser satisfeitas noutro lugar? Queres sequer saber?

Fica demasiado defensiva sempre que lhe fazem uma pergunta

As raparigas que fazem batota aprendem a ficar tão na defensiva que até a mais simples pergunta parece um ataque. Presta atenção a isto.

Let’s say you ask her what she was thinking of doing after work. An innocent question, right? To her (if she’s cheating), it feels like an interrogation into her whereabouts and she’s not having it.

That’s how you know that something’s going on. A girl with nothing to hide would simply say: Não muito, quero tomar um café depois? Mas uma namorada traidora tem o seu sistema de defesa ativado.

See also: 10 Things To Do If You’re Feeling Disrespected In A Relationship

Ela quer adiar a vossa tão esperada escapadela romântica

You’ve been looking forward to this for months! FINALLY, a whole week of just you and her spending quality time together away from the world but suddenly, she can’t go and she doesn’t even seem broken up about it.

Sabes que se ela realmente wanted to go, she’d make it work but she wants to postpone it, despite it taking you months to get it all arranged. Why would she do that unless there was someone else?

As melhores amigas dela estão a agir de forma estranha à sua volta

You can tell a lot about this situation by simply observing her best friends. They likely know everything, so if they’re being weird, cold, or distant around you, something’s up.

Isto acontece sobretudo se se derem bem. Eles só querem manter a distância, porque sabendo o que sabem, é estranho estar perto de si.

Começou a passar muito tempo no ginásio

She never used to care about going to the gym but now, it’s her sanctuary. You’ve been together so long (you may even have survived a long-distance relationship) that you don’t care about her looking perfect.

Ela sabe que a ama independentemente do aspeto do seu corpo, por isso, por que razão estaria tão empenhada em estar no seu melhor depois de não se preocupar com isso durante tanto tempo?

Sure, girls like to look good and feel healthy, but it seems like there’s a reason behind this transformation that she’s just not sharing.

She keeps saying, “I,” instead of, “We”

Every single, “We,” has now magically turned into, “I”… and it’s probably the most heartbreaking thing to hear.

Ela já não o leva a visitar a família

Costumavas ir sempre visitar os pais dela! Era sempre uma escapadela encantadora e adorável e tu tinhas as melhores
tempo. Na verdade, preocupa-se muito com os seus entes queridos, mas isso também parou.

She goes to visit them by herself so as not to ‘”inconvenience you’ but” she knows all too well that it’s no bother at all.

Now, you feel like a burden and that everyone knows what’s up but you.
Provavelmente, ela vai lá e discute a situação, fazendo-o sentir-se ainda pior do que já se sente.

23. Todos os seus aparelhos estão bloqueados

You’re not sure if she ever locked her phone and gadgets before but she sure is doing it now. It’s like deleting her browser history isn’t enough.

She is making sure to not get caught and she’s covering all fronts.

When she’s upset, she doesn’t turn to you to console her (like she always used to do)

When she’s upset or sad, you were her shoulder to cry on. You always know what to say and you always manage to make her laugh.

That was one of your favorite things about your relationship but ever since you got the impression that she is a cheater, you’ve stopped being her go-to person.

Ou ela já não tem dias maus (o que é muito improvável) ou há alguém novo que a segura nos seus piores momentos.

O seu instinto diz-lhe que ela quer acabar com a relação

You know your gut has never failed you before. Whenever you get a feeling about something, it turns out to be right. And no matter how much you want to ignore it, you can’t.

You have to believe that your gut feeling knows what’s up. It’s heartbreaking to think your girl is fooling around, but you have to be real.

Isn’t it better to face the music and give yourself a chance for something real? The sooner you do it, the sooner the pain will stop.

Ela luta só por lutar

Ela está constantemente a arranjar brigas. Isto é o que os parceiros de traição fazem para tu romper com eles. Esperto, não é? Assim, eles ficam com a saída mais fácil.

However, my advice is, don’t fall for it. Don’t give her the satisfaction of ending it for her. If she really wants to break up, she might as well do it the right way.

You deserve to hear the whole truth; after all, you’re the one hurting here. The least she can do is be honest and apologize for things.

Nothing can change what she did, but it’s going to help you heal after hearing her it from the horse’s mouth.

Veja também: O ciclo de relacionamento empurra-empurra e como superar essa dinâmica

She doesn’t laugh at your corny jokes anymore

You know you’re no Dave Chappelle, but you do have your own special comedic charm. And your girlfriend was your biggest fan before.

So what if your comedic timing wasn’t the best? That’s what made you so funny. At least that’s what she always thought, até recentemente.

Now, you can’t get a glimpse of a smile from her, not even when you genuinely try to make her laugh; she barely forces herself to react.

And if you can’t laugh together anymore, what do you really have?

Isto foi a sua coisa and now, you’re afraid that there’s someone else making her laugh.

Ela tornou-se fria, distante e desinteressada na vossa relação

Ultimately, her entire demeanor has become cold and distant. She’s no longer invested. She simply goes with the flow.

It’s like she’s there but her passion and adoration are long gone. The thing that made your relationship so special has withered.

She is now someone you merely spend time with but things have changed significantly. Now, it seems like she’d rather be em qualquer lugar mas aqui.

O que deve fazer daqui para a frente?

Deixe-se sentir o que está a sentir neste momento

First and foremost, feel your feelings. Don’t pretend to be above it all. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like shouting, shout.

But whatever you do, don’t keep your feelings bottled up. Believe me, eventually, you’re going to explode and the worst thing for you is pretending that you’re okay.

Learning that your significant other is a cheater is a big blow. A few months back, you were planning on moving in together, and now, you’re figuring out why you’re no longer enough.

Dá tempo a ti próprio para sentires tudo isto antes de decidires ir para cima dela. O tempo está do teu lado.

Não tomar grandes decisões quando se encontra numa situação de vulnerabilidade

One of the worst things people in pain can do is make life-changing decisions. Think about it. Right now, you’re at an all-time low.

You’re clearly not in the right frame of mind to be making qualquer decisões e tudo o que fizer enquanto estiver a sofrer voltará para o morder. Por isso, tenha calma.

No matter how much you want to break up, throw her stuff out the window or talk shit about her, don’t. I promise you’ll regret it.

Wait it out until you’re sure that you can live with that decision and be okay with it in the long run.

Don’t even think about blaming yourself

It’s not your fault. If you were struggling or having any issues, the only right thing to do was talk about it. Cheating is never the way.

So if she tries to blame you for being the cheating partner, nip it in the bud. You are both adults and you should’ve had the tough conversation if she wanted to break up.

Mas como ela decidiu seguir o caminho da batota, a culpa é toda dela.
Nobody forced her to sleep with someone else so don’t you dare blame yourself for her lousy actions.

Considere todas as suas opções antes de a confrontar

Queres acabar com tudo? Queres falar sobre isso?? Precisa de tempo para perceber tudo? Certifique-se de que sabe antes de a confrontar.

A melhor forma de agir é perceber para onde quer ir antes que ela tenha oportunidade de o encher de disparates.

Prepare yourself mentally before the conversation, so you find it easier to stay true to what you really need. Don’t let her sway you.

Rodeie-se de bons amigos que o possam ajudar a perceber o que se passa

Sabem o que é que eu acho que é sempre o melhor remédio para um coração partido? Um bom círculo de amigos íntimos.

After all, they are the ones who’ll be there when your partner leaves. They are the ones who’ll pick up the pieces and make you breakfast when you don’t want to get up in the morning.

Those people will be the ones helping you find a way out of this mess. Remember, they want only the best for you. So be sure to listen to their advice. They know what they’re talking about.

Veja também: Uma relação disfuncional: O que é e como reconhecer os sinais

Fale com a sua namorada traidora e veja o que ela tem a dizer

Once you’ve done some soul-searching, talked to your best friends, and got your bearings, you may proceed to talk to your partner.

First, let her know how this whole thing has made you feel. Do not let her lead the conversation. She is the one in the wrong and she should be happy that you’re willing to have a calm discussion.

Ask her whatever you want to know and don’t let her leave out any details. You deserve to know how much of a fool she has made out of you.

Only after the conversation should you start making a final decision regarding your relationship. Find out all the facts and do what’s best for tu.

Consultar o seu médico e fazer exames de despistagem de IST

Este é um passo infeliz, mas precisa mesmo de fazer o teste. Não importa o que ela diga (foi só um tipo e ela jura que ele usava proteção), nunca se pode brincar com a saúde.

Go do what you need to do and be sure that you haven’t contracted any diseases.

Trust me, it’ll give you a peace of mind knowing at least one honest thing came out of her mouth about her cheating escapades.

Nunca permita que isso altere a sua perceção de si próprio

Isto não se reflecte em si de forma alguma. A forma como os outros escolhem comportar-se é da responsabilidade deles, e de mais ninguém. Repita isso para si mesmo.

It doesn’t mean that you’re not enough. Her cheating on you doesn’t make you any less of a man. And it definitely doesn’t mean that some other girl won’t cherish you.

A única pessoa em quem isto se reflecte mal é a tua namorada e, independentemente do que ela te tentar dizer, lembra-te sempre disso.

Deixe a sua cara-metade se ela não se desculpar

If your cheater of a girlfriend doesn’t seem extremely apologetic and with really good reasoning (not that there is any), just leave.

Reatar com um traidor raramente é a atitude correcta.

Há casos específicos em que pode considerar essa hipótese (foi só uma vez, ela estava muito bêbeda e é esventrado about what she did) but if it happened on a regular basis and she is only sorry because she got caught, I’m sorry but what are you still doing with her?

I know that love can really mess with your head but don’t let it blind you to the point of letting her treat you unfairly twice.

Não deixar que ninguém o trate mal (seja ela ou um novo parceiro)

After deciding what your next move is, turn over a new leaf and let this be the start of something better. If you’ve decided to stay with her, I hope that you thought it through.

No matter what, from now on, don’t let anyone treat you badly. No more shady stuff, lousy excuses or secretive behavior.

It’s all cards on the table or you’re out.

Once, it was a mistake but the second time, it is a choice. Complete transparency is the only way to go from here, and it’s não negociável.

10 coisas a EVITAR fazer depois de o seu parceiro o trair

Don’t publicly trash-talk your cheating partner

Even though these signs of a cheating girlfriend can be overwhelming, you should under no circumstances stoop to her level. You’re better than that.

Compreenda que falar mal dela em público ou nas redes sociais só o vai pintar como o mau da fita e ajudá-la a ganhar simpatia.

My mom always told me to keep all issues between our four walls and when you feel like shouting it from the rooftops the most, that’s precisely when you should remain quiet.

Within a few weeks, once this initial fury and frustration withers, you’ll be extremely thankful you were able to keep it private.

Don’t allow yourself to fall into a downward spiral

Okay, so right now, after having confirmed that your girlfriend has betrayed you and trying to figure out where to place your anger, you’re probably at your wit’s end.

That’s totally expected. How else could a person feel upon finding out that their life partner is fooling around? But here’s the thing…

Permita-se sentir tudo, mas no momento em que começar a sentir que as coisas estão a ficar fora de controlo, ligue ao seu melhor amigo. Vai visitar os teus pais. Vai passear o teu cão (se tiveres um).

These things will help you regain your perspective and prevent you from being a victim of your own emotions. Find your safe haven and don’t let yourself fall too deep.

If you have children, don’t get them involved in your mess

Your kids (provided you have any) are innocent in all of this. Don’t make them feel your mutual anger and don’t make them pick sides.

Children are sacred and they should never sense a father’s wrath toward their mother or vice versa. When it comes to them, be sure to never yell or scream at each other when they’re near.

One day, they’ll remember it all and have really ugly memories of their parents being at each other’s throats.

Don’t taint their memories. Keep it civil and let them know that they are not to blame for anything. Let them feel your love now more than ever.

Don’t negate what happened and just hope things will magically be okay

A negação é vossa inimiga. O que aconteceu entre vocês os dois foi muito real e não vale a pena negar isso. Todas aquelas horas tardias e comportamentos estranhos foram por uma razão.

According to renowned psychologist Dr. Paul Coleman, PsyD, “Someone who must ‘work late’ all of a sudden at times that go beyond a reasonable explanation may be cheating.”

So don’t do yourself a disservice and deny the obvious. Things are kind of messed up right now but they will pick up eventually. Just be honest with yourself.

Don’t overplay the victim card

This might sound rather harsh but it’s for your own good.

If you acquire a victim mentality, it’s going to be hard to snap out of it so instead, pick yourself up, brush it all off and keep your head high. Your girlfriend is the one who did something bad, not you.

Don’t let her make you feel overly victimized, as she’s not worthy of such a substantial effect on you. You know that you’ll get over this.

It won’t happen overnight, but one morning, you’ll wake up and realize that you’re finally starting to be okay. And that is going to feel priceless.

Don’t let anyone but you decide your next course of action

Nobody but you gets to tell you how you’re going to move forward. Whether you break up, decide to forgive her, or take some time to think it through, it’s all up to you.

This is your relationship and your life. Don’t let anyone affect your decision because you’re the one who’s going to have to live with it.

Veja também: Reconhecer e quebrar o padrão de perseguição e distanciamento num relacionamento

Don’t refuse to see a therapist right off the bat

Seeing a clinical psychologist or anyone with a Ph.D. in mental health might prove to be the best decision you’ve ever made for yourself. They can help you resolve your issues in the healthiest ways.

Qualquer problema que possa ter, acredite, eles estão equipados para o resolver. Fui a um há alguns anos e ajudou-me a recuperar.

There is no shame in deciding to help yourself and whoever makes you feel that way doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

Don’t forget about the importance of taking care of yourself

While you’re hurting, don’t forget that you deserve some tender love and care. You deserve to feel loved and appreciated so don’t deny yourself an opportunity to do something that can help your well-being.

Surround yourself with close friends and don’t do anything that drags you down.

Este é o teu momento para brilhar. Deixa que esta experiência te molde na pessoa que queres ser.
I’m fairly certain that you are craving some much-deserved love and warmth.

Don’t rush things, not everyone heals the same way

Nem toda a gente reagirá da mesma forma a estes sinais de uma namorada traidora. Alguns podem perder a cabeça, outros podem ficar entorpecidos e outros levarão meses a lidar com o facto.

But guess what? There’s no time limit on how long it takes to get over heartbreak. However long it takes, that’s how it should be.

Take your time and don’t worry about what anyone might think. You deserve to feel like yourself again, no matter when that is.

As pessoas são todas muito diferentes e seria muito invulgar se todos sarassem da mesma forma e ao mesmo ritmo.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, your partner’s actions don’t define you

Lastly, take it easy on yourself. Don’t be too harsh on yourself because there truly wasn’t anything you could’ve done differently.

Those who want to cheat will do so regardless of how attentive or caring you are. Please understand that her behavior doesn’t define you in any way.

She made a conscious decision to play with your heart and that’s entirely on her. Don’t take part in her blame because it doesn’t belong to you.

Tudo o que pode fazer é continuar a ser você mesmo e tratar os outros com bondade e respeito. Acredito firmemente que o karma se encarregará do resto.

Em conclusão

If you’ve realized that these signs of a cheating girlfriend hit too close to home, it’s time for a really difficult decision.

Your next steps depend on your partner’s (lack of) apology, her reasoning and your gut feeling. Is this person worth a second chance or has she crossed the line?

Espero sinceramente que a minha pesquisa exaustiva sobre o assunto tenha facilitado um pouco esta decisão dolorosa. Lembrem-se que ninguém só tu é que podes fazer isso.

Reevaluate your situation and see where your heart is, but don’t let yourself fall for the same tricks again. Let this experience be your guiding light from now on.

A última coisa que quer é ser enganada mais uma vez. Merece uma relação duradoura e empenhada com alguém que a respeite demasiado para a enganar.

Por isso, pergunte a si próprio o seguinte: After everything you’ve been through, can your girlfriend really give you that?