10 Consejos Si Te Has Enamorado De Un Hombre Emocionalmente Indisponible

After so many broken hearts, I swore to myself that I would never fall for a guy who wasn’t going to love me to the fullest.

Intenté arreglarles, curarles cuando me dijeron que sólo podría ayudarles si me quedaba.

El resultado fue que me destrozaron todos esos hombres emocionalmente inaccesibles y abusivos.

But one of them, he did the best job when it comes to breaking someone’s heart.

Nos conocimos en una fiesta. Estaba borracho y empezó a contarme cómo su novia le engañaba con un gilipollas al que llamaba su amigo. Así que perdió a los dos.

Sabía por lo que estaba pasando e intenté consolarlo, pero quería que diera un paseo con él.

Ten en cuenta que estaba muy borracho y era muy sincero en todo.

He told me how he wasn’t sure if he could ever love again. “Why should I? It’s only a waste of time!” he was yelling at the top of his lungs and asked me afterwards if I was thinking the same thing.

This is the point where I started telling him how love is an amazing thing and that the only problem was that he didn’t find the right woman to be in love with.

She didn’t appreciate him, but if he continued searching, he would eventually stumble upon a wonderful partner who will be more than happy to have him in his life.

He looked me dead serious in the eyes and came a bit closer to me. My heart started racing and I couldn’t breathe. What was he going to do?!

Nunca olvidaré la forma en que me sonrió y me tocó la mejilla tan suavemente. Fue casi como un sueño.

Siguió hablando de cómo cree que encontrar a esa persona podría ser realmente fácil ahora. Y me besó.

Esta noche fue más que maravillosa. La pasamos juntos y por la mañana fue muy amable conmigo y me dijo que nunca se había enamorado de alguien tan rápido.

He made us coffee and we continued talking about the party and our little conversation. That’s when we decided to go on a proper date!

He was continuously telling me how he wasn’t sure si quería una relación.

He didn’t think that it was something he could do now, although it had been awhile since he broke up with his last girlfriend.

But I didn’t want to rush it. He seemed so nice, loving and caring. Además, quería sentirme necesitada.

He was constantly telling me how he needed someone who’d be there for him and fix him. I wanted to be that someone!

From time to time, I would ask him to define our relationship. But at the word ‘relationship’, he’d start panicking and wouldn’t even want to talk to me for hours afterward.

Con el tiempo, vi que los muros a su alrededor se levantaban aún más. Empecé a preguntarme quién era el hombre del que me había enamorado.

He would smile at girls in bars just so they could come up to him. I was sitting next to him, listening to all those times he told them that I was only a friend. Well, it’s the truth.

Era una de esas personas que prefieren ser amigos con derecho a roce a tener una relación comprometida.

Una mañana mi amiga me mandó un mensaje diciendo que lo había visto en un contactos web y que incluso intentó ligar con ella. Lo busqué y ahí estaba.

His picture—there was no doubt about it and the caption said something like “single and ready to mingle”.

When I confronted him about this, he told me that it was none of my business and that I shouldn’t be putting my nose in his life.

He told me everything he could just to make me realise that he didn’t love me. I wasn’t his ‘someone’. “Why would I fall for someone like you?!” Me dolió. Mucho.

I’d like to say that I walked out of his life right after this fight, but I didn’t. I stayed. For too long. I stayed to watch him flirt and make out with other girls, never realising how much he hurt me.

He was always avoiding the topic of our relationship and that’s when I realised that he truly was emocionalmente no disponible.

I should’ve seen it at the beginning. If your partner is emotionally unavailable, there’s nothing much you can do but run! Pack your stuff and run! I’ve learned it the hard way.

You might have fallen in love with him so it’s not that easy to let go. That’s why I’m giving you 10 little tips on how to survive an emotionally unavailable man:

1. Dé prioridad a sus sentimientos

Sé consciente de los sentimientos que tienes en ese momento. Si te sientes herido y vulnerable en un momento determinado, tómate un tiempo para volver a sentirte bien.

Si esto significa dejarlo y salir corriendo, ¡hazlo! Llorarás menos, te lo prometo.

2. Conocerle mejor

Hay una pequeña posibilidad de que haya esperanza para él. Podría cambiar. Hazle todas las preguntas que quieras sin temer sus respuestas.

Be confident and make him talk to you. If he avoids your questions constantly, it’s just a sign that it’s not worth trying.

3. You can’t heal him if he doesn’t want to be healed

As much as you’d want to, you can’t fix him. Lo he aprendido por las malas.

Being emotionally unavailable means that the person shuts down their emotions and you can’t even come close to him.

4. Don’t apologize for your feelings

Creo sinceramente que ser capaz de expresar tus sentimientos y mostrar vulnerabilidad es un verdadero signo de fortaleza.

You don’t have to apologize for it! Express them in all the ways you need in order to feel at peace!

5. Dile enseguida lo que quieres

Tell him at the beginning what you want from the relationship and that you’re not ready to settle for anything less than what you want because you deserve it.

If I’d known this, I would’ve saved myself all the time and energy that was wasted.

6. Ser feliz e independiente

If you’re not depending on him, you might as well just leave when you realise that he’s emotionally unavailable and there’s no fixing it.

I was very dependent and that made me unhappy. I didn’t have my own personality because I let him define me. Biggest mistake I ever made!

7. Sé paciente (por ahora)

Maybe he’s willing to change and he might tell you that he his but that he needs time.Give him the time he needs but know that you can’t wait forever.

8. Presta atención a sus acciones, no a sus palabras

Puede que sus acciones no coincidan con sus palabras. Sus palabras pueden ser amables y prometedoras, pero sus acciones demuestran abuso emocional.

He might tell you that he’s trying to change but he still cheats on you? Well, why are you waiting? Why are you still with him?

9. You aren’t a failure if you didn’t manage to make it work

Esta vez sí que me costó. Pensaba que si lo amaba lo suficiente y tenía paciencia, todo saldría bien. Emocionalmente no disponible o no.

I loved him. It’s the only thing that mattered to me. So, I thought that we could work things out and be a happy couple.

But no. He didn’t let me past the walls he built up around his heart and it’s fine. It’s not my fault.

10. Quiérete a ti mismo

This one is very simple, if you love yourself enough, you won’t ever let anyone have a higher priority rather than yourself.

You’ll appreciate your life in a way that you won’t want to waste your time and energy on someone who’s not worthy of it!