Consejos para salir con mujeres que desearías haber conocido antes (20 consejos)

When I was younger and (more) clueless about men, I wondered why someone couldn’t just knock on my door and tell me exactly what to do when it came to dating. Yes, I was talking to my friends, but it was like the blind leading the blind.

Necesitaba orientación profesional. Necesitaba consejos de citas para mujeres que realmente funcionaran.

Bueno, para abreviar la historia, nunca lo conseguí. En cambio, tuve que aprender de mis propios errores.

Pero, oye, no hay mal que por bien no venga. Ahora, docenas de desengaños después, aquí estoy, más sabia que nunca.

And, here you are, lucky that you don’t have to wander around looking for tu alma gemela without the slightest idea of what you’re doing.

Why? Because I’ve got you covered. Here is the ultimate collection of dating tips and tricks that every woman wishes she knew sooner.

20 consejos y trucos para citas

Tengo que advertirte: algunos de los siguientes consejos requerirán un cambio drástico en tu estilo de citas. But, I promise you: it’ll all be worth it.

1. Make no apologies for setting high standards…

Antes de salir, tienes que saber cuáles son tus preferencias. Pero, por favor, ten en cuenta que esto no es lo mismo que tus preferencias por los hombres.

There are things you like and dislike about your potential boyfriend, and that’s perfectly okay.

However, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the things you wouldn’t tolerate under any circumstances.

What’s important is to be honest with yourself about these standards. Don’t let society, your best friend, or some random dude tell you that you’re asking for too much, regardless of whether you’re salir con un profesor o a otra persona.

You know how much you’ve got to offer. You know your qualities and good sides, and there is no reason for you to settle for a man who’ll give you less than what you’re giving him.

No se disculpe por establecer normas estrictas. Moreover, don’t waste time on guys who don’t have the potential of matching them.

2. …but don’t be too picky.

Sin embargo, esto no es una invitación a ser demasiado exigente. Saber qué buscar en un hombre is one thing, but not giving a guy a chance just because he’s not your Mr. Perfect is something completely else.

The best way to avoid this is to forget about types. Don’t put men in boxes.

Just because he’s not as tall or as rich as you imagined your boyfriend to be doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t dig a little deeper and find out more about his other qualities.

Also, be aware of your own flaws. I’m not telling you to be overly critical, but remember that you’re not perfect either.

You expect your date to accept your imperfections, don’t you? You expect your boyfriend to love you for who you really are, don’t you?

Well, you have to do the same. If you expect to find the perfect guy who’ll match each one of your standards, I have some bad news for you.

This is not a fairytale – it’s real life. There are no Prince Charmings out there.

3. Prioridades sobre conveniencias.

Every relationship expert will tell you the same: don’t obsess over guys. Don’t obsess over finding the right guy, and don’t obsess over a particular guy once you fall in love.

Tristemente, this is something a lot of women do. They assume they’re not good enough as long as they’re single, and they turn this search into a life quest.

It’s not.

I know you want to find your best match. Let’s be honest, don’t we all?

But, that shouldn’t be your only priority. Be your own number one person regardless of whether you have a long-term relationship or not.

Being in love is great, but it’s not the only point of living. If you adopt this mindset, I assure you: your el alma gemela vendrá finalmente.

4. El secreto de la vida: saber lo que quieres y pedirlo.

Another thing a lot of women do without even being aware of it is not knowing what and who they want. If this is something you can relate to, start by figuring out what and who you don’t want.

Después de eso, proceda a darse cuenta de qué es lo que busca en un hombre. If it’s necessary, write down a list of cualidades de su Sr. Perfecto needs to have. Once again, don’t lower your standards, but don’t forget to be realistic either.

Una comunicación sana conduce a relaciones sanas.

When you’re done with that, trabaja en tus habilidades de comunicación. Guys aren’t mind readers, and you can’t expect a man to know the core of your being until the second date.

Mi experiencia en citas me dice que a los hombres les gusta tener una novia que les diga lo que quiere. Tell him how you like to be treated, where you want to go, what you want to eat…

More importantly… tell him when you’re bothered by something. Tell him that you want to go to dinner when he suggests Netflix and chill, that you’re ready to step your relationship up, or that you’re not happy with the way he treats you.

Look, I’m not making any promises here. I’m not saying that every guy will accept your demands.

But, at least you’ll know you tried.

5. Descubre los secretos del amor verdadero.

Permíteme darte el consejo más importante sobre citas para mujeres: el amor y estar enamorado son dos cosas diferentes.

It’s about time you stop dating Alpha men who give you butterflies and nothing else. It’s time to stop citas con hombres ocupados and don’t make you a priority. I know that you’re hooked on thrills, a rollercoaster of emotions, and goosebumps.

But, I promise you that’s not real love. Actually, it’s more likely to be anxiety, but let’s leave it at that.

Get rid of the bad boys who give you uncertainty. You don’t need mixed signals and relationship games.

Necesitas amor verdadero. Sin embargo, antes de conseguirlo, en primer lugar, tienes que entender lo que es.

¿Qué es el verdadero amor?

Everything you’ve felt until now is the sensation of being in love. But, real love gives you something else.

Te da respeto y estabilidad. Te da paz y aprecio. Te da una relación a largo plazo y no ligues al azar.

6. Realize who’s worth the effort and who’s not.

Tu tiempo, tu esfuerzo y tu energía son preciosos. Entonces, ¿por qué sigues malgastándolas con tipos que sabes que no valen la pena?

Sometimes, you’ll figure out who to ditch right on the first date. I don’t care if he’s a friend of a friend or if you’ve been a single woman for longer than you can remember. That’s exactly what I said to one of my friends when she started salir con un árabe.

If he’s not worthy of your attention – move on.

Sometimes, you won’t realize it the first time you meet. You’ll need to go way past a second date to understand he’s not for you.

And, that’s okay, too. Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve invested a lot in it.

If something isn’t going in the right direction, turn around and leave it behind. Trust me: it’s better late than never.

7. Las suposiciones son las termitas de las relaciones.

Henry Winkler once said this famous line, and he couldn’t be more correct. In fact, dating coaches in the world will tell you the same.

¿Recuerdas que hablamos de que los hombres no leen la mente? Estás de acuerdo con eso, supongo.

Well, what makes you think you’re better than them? Why do you think you can read your boyfriend’s mind?

If you have some doubts about his feelings, intentions, or plans, just be frank about it. Ask him, for God’s sake – that’s why you have the ability to talk.

The worst thing you can do is create imaginary scenarios in your head. I assure you – you’ll always think of the worst possible outcomes.

I’m not saying you should let a guy make a fool out of you and allow que te mientaa pesar de todas las pruebas que tienes delante.

Nevertheless, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him about whatever is bothering you – you might be surprised with the answer.

8. Conoce tu valor. Después, añádele los impuestos.

One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was to know my worth. No, that’s not strictly related to romantic relationships, but trust me – it’s more important than you might think.

Look, I’m not telling you to be an egocentric maniac, but don’t let your insecurities get the best of you either. Instead, work on your self-esteem as hard as you can – it will pay off.

It’s actually plain and simple. You can’t expect a guy to love you if you don’t love yourself.

If you don’t think that you’re good enough, you’ll think that it’s perfectly acceptable for a man in your life to think that way, too. If you show him that you don’t respect yourself, he’ll just follow your lead and disrespect you as well.

Una mujer que se ama a sí misma knows her worth, and will never settle for less than she deserves. She doesn’t need a man to give her validation, and she doesn’t allow herself to stay with someone who doesn’t make her happy.

9. You’re not a rehabilitation center.

We’re all adults here. Therefore, it’s not your responsibility to parent anyone.

It’s one thing to take care of your partner’s wellness – that’s what being a team is all about. However, you’re not here to raise anyone.

You’re not a rehabilitation institution for broken or damaged men.

He’s emocionalmente no disponible? ¿Le rompieron el corazón en su relación anterior?

He’s abusive because he knows nothing better? He is jealous because he’s incapable of showing his love in a healthy way?

Mala suerte. Debería ir a ver a un terapeuta y trabajar en sus problemas que no son de tu incumbencia.

I know this sounds brutal, but real life is brutal. It’s not your job to heal anyone’s traumas or to try and change men who clearly don’t want to be changed.

Tu única misión es hacerte feliz.

10. Sé amable, imparcial y justo.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to play dirty. There is nothing dishonest in refusing to fix hombres rotos. That’s perfectly fine.

Pero cosas como engañar, mentir y manipular no lo son. The dating world is harsh, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.

Don’t let anyone walk over you and show you true strength if they try hurting you. However, do your best not to break any hearts in the process.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll date a man out of sympathy or that you won’t break up a relationship because you feel sorry for the guy. Instead, you’ll tell him you’re not interested sin ningún remordimiento.

Just be honest about your intentions no matter what happens. Don’t drag anyone along, don’t take guys for granted, don’t use them as self-esteem boosters, and don’t lie about your feelings to get what you want.

He aquí un consejo para las relaciones: don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done to you!

RELACIONADO: Cómo besar a un hombre para volverlo loco por ti

11. Be yourself – everyone else is taken.

So, this is probably the first tip you’ll get from every relationship expert out there. And, I know what you must think now: that this is just a worn out phrase.

But, trust me – it’s not. The best way to meet the love of your life is really to be yourself.

Olvídate de lo que la sociedad te dice que hagas. Olvídate de cumplir unas normas imaginarias. Olvídate de la forma en que tu ex quería que te comportaras y te vieras.

Sé tú mismo.

Créame cuando le digo que chicos aviso when you’re pretending to be someone else just to make them like you more. In fact, it’s one of the major turn-offs for every hombre de verdad.

I’m not advising you to spill all of your deepest traumas right there on the first date. It’s okay to be a little bit mysterious and challenge him to get to know you better.

Sin embargo, los falsos pretextos y los engaños no están bien.

12. Diviértete en el proceso.

“In New York, they say you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.” – Sex and the City

Well, the most important thing in either of these cases is not the final outcome: it’s the process itself.

Here’s a crucial piece of dating advice for women: don’t turn this search for a boyfriend into something that has to be done. It’s not your 9-5 job, and you won’t get paid for it.

Please, have fun while you’re doing it. Use this time to work on yourself, and to learn a thing or a two about the woman you’re becoming.

Dating life is hard sometimes, that’s true. But, it’s your job to make it as amusing as possible.

¿Y mientras tanto? ¡Disfruta de tu vida de soltera todo lo que puedas!

13. Establecer límites.

I don’t care what century it is; if you feel uncomfortable doing something, nobody has the right to argue against it. Yes, I’m talking about the bedroom here.

Don’t sleep with a guy until you feel ready for it. Don’t do it if you think he’ll change afterward. Don’t do it because you’re scared that he’ll leave you or because he’ll think of you as a prude.

To hell with it… don’t even kiss him unless you want it. You don’t owe him anything just because he took you out for dinner.

Límites sociales frente a límites personales

Boundaries are more important than you can imagine, and you’re the one who has to set them. But, don’t let society do it for you.

If you don’t feel like kissing a guy on a second date – that’s your prerogative, and don’t even think of doing it.

But, what if a guy you’ve met on a dating site invites you over for Netflix and chill? You know it will be nothing more than a hook-up, but you still want to go.

On the other hand, you’re questioning it because you don’t know if it would be right. What will he think of you? Is it okay to go to his place without an actual first date beforehand?

Yes, it’s perfectly fine because that’s what you want.

14. Rompe tus propios patrones de citas tóxicas.

Wherever I look, I run into women who got their hearts broken by awful, evil men. While I’m not arguing against that, isn’t it about time to wonder if we’re guilty of some toxic behaviors as well.

I know I am. Of course, it took me a lot of introspection to admit this. And, that’s exactly what you have to do.

Think about your entire dating experience. What were your biggest mistakes? What are the things you’d do differently this time if you had the chance to?

Bueno, aquí está. Esta es su oportunidad de hacer las cosas bien. Reinvéntate y rompe esos patrones tóxicos de las citas de una vez por todas.

15. Olvídate de las reglas modernas de las citas.

¿Deberías esperar a que enviar el primer mensaje de texto después de la fecha o puede hacerlo? ¿Cuánto tiempo debe esperar antes de dile que te gusta? ¿Deberías seguir el famoso patrón de los mensajes de texto? Don’t text him and he will text you?

¿Cuándo es el momento adecuado para hablar de poner una etiqueta a tu relación? ¿Es una tontería besar primero al chico?

¿Es demasiado pronto para acostarse con él? ¿Debes hacerte la dura o es mejor ser sincera desde el primer día?

What a bunch of baloney! I can’t give you the answers you’re looking for. In fact, no dating expert can.

Why? Because you’re the only one who can. It’s your life and your relationship.

Así que, por favor, olvida estas tonterías reglas de la datación moderna. If you don’t, all of the other dating advice for women is in vain.

Reach out if you feel like doing so. Like his tweets, reply to his story, ask him out for a second date…but don’t tolerate him ignorando tus mensajes.

16. Amplía tus horizontes.

¿Estás acostumbrada a conocer chicos nuevos en las discotecas? ¿O sólo sales con los amigos de tus amigos? Olvídate de esto también.

It’s time to expand your horizons and really dive into the dating pool. Empieza por los sitios y aplicaciones de citas.

There is nothing wrong with online dating, and people aren’t there to look for one-night stands only. If you know what you’re looking for, it’s easy to cut off those who don’t match your standards.

Prueba a salir en una cita a ciegas. O, dale una oportunidad a citas rápidas.

Lo más importante aquí es averiguar qué es lo que más te conviene en el amplio mundo de las citas.

17. Ignorar las señales es una forma de acabar en el destino equivocado.

The number one mistake you can make while dating is not paying attention to the red flags. You know exactly what I’m talking about; about those little signs you clearly see but choose to ignore just because it’s easier that way right now.

Su objetivo final es relación sana with a man. Well, you won’t be able to do so with someone who is showing signs of toxicity, possessiveness, or abusive behavior right from the start.

Por favor, quítate las gafas de sol de color de rosa. No es el momento de idealizar a alguien con quien deberías cortar lazos de inmediato.

I don’t care if he’s giving you butterflies. Run for your life and save yourself on time!

18. Deshazte de tu equipaje emocional.

You can’t swim with bricks in your back pockets, can you? Well, you can’t find Mr. Right if you’re still in any way connected with Mr. Wrong from your past.

Debes deshacerte de tu carga emocional antes de sumergirte en algo nuevo.

And, I’m not talking about sending text messages or calling your ex only. I’m talking about still loving him and waiting for que vuelva también.

You can’t fight fire with fire, and a relación de rebote won’t make your heart heal faster.

Actually, it will only push you deeper down the despair of your sadness. Besides, it’s not fair to date other guys while you’re waiting for a particular one to make a great comeback in your life.

Así que, por favor, trabaja en reparar tu corazón roto antes de volver a salir ahí fuera.

19. Convertirse en material de novia.

Sea sincero y pregúntese: Si fueras un hombre, ¿saldrías contigo mismo? I know this is a tough one, but it’s one of the most important questions I’ve asked you today.

Forget about your insecurities and be as realistic as possible. Try observing yourself from someone else’s point of view.

¿Eres novia o material para esposas? Si no es así, ¿qué cualidades te faltan? Ésas son las cosas en las que debes trabajar cuanto antes.

You’re so focused on finding your Mr. Right that you forget you have to become Mrs. Right as well.

20. Escucha a tus tripas.

When in doubt, listen to what your intuition has to say. Trust me – it never goes wrong.

Pero, por favor, primero aprende la diferencia entre un ataque de ansiedad que te está diciendo que todo irá siempre cuesta abajo, y tu instinto que está ahí para mostrarte el camino.

¿Qué no se debe hacer al principio de una cita?

If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while, you probably forgot how easy it is to chase the guy you like away right after you start dating. Everything is still fragile between you two, and you have to be careful about your every move.

That’s why you have me: to give you the list of things you shouldn’t even think of doing in the initial dating stages:

1. Hablar de tu ex.

2. Letting him know you’ve been stalking him.

3. Exponer toda tu personalidad.

4. Volar su teléfono.

5. Saltarse la conversación sobre salud antes de acostarse con él.

6. Permitir que te falte al respeto.

7. Parece barato.

8. Preséntaselo a todos tus amigos y familiares.

¿Qué debe hacer una mujer por su hombre?

Si desea mantener el interés de un chicodeberías mostrar interés por él. En lugar de hacerte la difícil, invierte algo de esfuerzo en esta posible relación.

Make sure he knows you’re into him. Send him flirty or cute textos de buenos días para él. Show initiative, ask him out, reply to his texts, and be the first one to call and he’s all yours.

¿Cómo mejoran las mujeres en las citas?

Ya sabes lo que dicen: la práctica hace al maestro Pero aquí tienes otros consejos y trucos para ser un mejor dater:

1. Trabaja tus habilidades de comunicación.

2. Mostrar interés.

3. Sé gracioso.

4. Don’t overthink it.

5. Di lo que piensas.

6. Estar abierto a lo nuevo.

7. Mejora tus habilidades para ligar.

8. Disfruta de tu soltería.

Para terminar:

Now that you’ve read all of my dating advice for women, you’re good to go! Now, all you’ve got to do is apply it to real life.

Easier said than done, I know. But, don’t expect to become a pro at dating after one try. It takes time for you to start implementing each one of these tips and tricks. Here’s an extra tip on cómo hacer que un chico te persiga usando la psicología masculina.

Paso a paso, y antes de que te des cuenta, tu juego de citas estará a punto.