11 señales de que su pareja es un maniático del control

Las relaciones tóxicas pueden sorprender a cualquiera, y aunque la mayoría de nosotros percibimos a una pareja controladora como alguien físicamente agresivo o que constantemente lanza amenazas o ultimátums, el control se manifiesta de muchas formas.

Socios de control utilizan todo un arsenal de herramientas para dominar a su pareja, y a veces la manipulación llega hasta el punto de que la persona controlada se ve a sí misma como un villano.

Whether controlling behavior leads to some serious emotional and physical damage or not, it’s not a healthy situation to be in. If you recognize any of these signs in your partner’s behavior, take it seriously and consider walking away as the right call to make.

Críticas crónicas

Criticism starts with something small, something you don’t even notice until it’s too late. You might even think it’s for your own good, it’s because he wants you healthy.

Maybe you don’t think that it’s doing any damage to you, but hearing constant criticism, constant complaints on the way you behave, the way you dress or work, slowly makes you feel less worthy and makes it hard to feel loved, validated or accepted.

If everything you do needs some kind of improvement in your partner’s eyes, then how can that be unconditional love? How can that be a relationship between two equal partners?

Hacerte dudar de ti mismo

A controlling partner finds a way of planting a seed of doubt in you, about whether you’re smart, pretty or talented enough. This is a way he can take away your autonomy and make you completely depend on him.

Ya te quitó tu apoyo y tu fuerza, y una vez que te quita tus sueños, tiene todo el poder.

If you find yourself giving up on your dreams because your partner thinks they’re silly, or because he thinks you’re not smart or hard-working enough, give up on him instead.

Ningún hombre es digno de perder tus sueños y esperanzas.

Amenazas

We often believe that threats are not problematic until they’re physical, but threatening to leave or to harm themselves or cutting off privileges are as harmful as the physical ones.

We feel trapped in such relationships not because we’re scared to leave or because we’re scared of a new beginning but because we’re scared of something our partner will do to himself.

Threats such as being denied access to children, financial support or a home to live in, whether they’re genuine or not, are still forms of controlling abuse in a relationship.

Espiar o exigir revelaciones constantes

Los obsesos del control tienen la necesidad de saber cada minuto de tu día. Puede fisgonear en secreto en tu teléfono o exigirte abiertamente que le des tus contraseñas y los detalles de tu día.

His favorite excuse—If you have nothing to hide, then what’s the big deal? It is a big deal if you’re being questioned all the time in the one place where you should feel accepted. Your privacy is being violated in the one place where it should be safe. It’s a huge deal.

Aislamiento de amigos o familiares

This often starts subtly, but he will try to strip you of your family and friends and the support they provide you, to strip you of your strength. This way, you won’t be strong enough to step up against him when he wants to win.

Te pedirá que pases tiempo con él, hablará mal de tus amigos, manipulándote poco a poco para que sólo confíes en él, lo que le da un control total sobre tu vida.

No respetar tu tiempo a solas

It’s another way of stripping you of your strength. He finds a way to make you feel guilty for taking time to recharge, or making you feel like you don’t love him enough to share all of your time with him.

It’s completely normal if partners have different needs for time alone, but in a healthy relationship that’s something you can talk about and compromise on. But in a controlling relationship, all of your alone time becomes his time.

Celos hiperactivos

Sus celos puede ser encantador y halagador al principio, pero con el tiempo se vuelve molesto. Y a medida que avanzáis como pareja, se vuelve fatal.

He sees your behavior as flirty all the time, whether you’re talking to a friend, a cousin or some random man at the bar who spilled his drink over you.

Expresará agresivamente sus emociones, diciendo cómo conoce a los hombres y cómo sólo quieren una cosa. Te sentirás constantemente culpable y empezarás a vivir con miedo a sus reacciones por la gente con la que pasas el tiempo.

Condicionar el amor

“If you would just try a little bit more and lose more weight, you’d be perfect for me. If you can’t even bother to make me dinner, I don’t know what I’m even doing in this relationship.

If you could wear your hair like this, I would definitely take you out.” This message is simple—you, right now, are not enough.

If you have to earn his love, if you have to earn acceptance and for him to be caring, then it’s not worth staying.

You’re guilty until proven otherwise

A controlling person is very skilled in making you feel guilty for something you didn’t even do or you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing.

You could come home to him already furious about you doing something, something he imagined in his head and it will seem to you that he already has the whole case built against you, even if you don’t understand it.

Así te manipulará para que juegues según sus reglas, haciendo que te comportes exactamente como él quiere.

Haciéndote sentir indigna de él

Su manipulación es tan fuerte que te sientes agradecida de estar con él, lo que no debería ser el caso. Debería ser al revés.

Whether he does it by comparing you to his exes, comparing your professional success with his or by slowly undermining your self-confidence, he will not stop until he meets his goal, and that’s making sure you never leave, because, how could you?

He’s the best out there and you’re blessed to be with him.

Interacciones sexuales que después resultan molestas

El comportamiento controlador y abusivo a menudo se traslada al dormitorio. Juega a lo mismo, te hace sentir culpable, te manipula y te quita la confianza en ti misma.

If you constantly feel unsettled about your sexual relationship, it’s a sign that something is wrong.