6 aspectos cruciales que debes tener en cuenta antes de salir con un amigo

Salir con un amigo puede acabar siendo lo mejor que te haya pasado nunca, sin ninguna duda.

But before it gets to the good part, there are some steps to overcome in order to master that perfect new balance of emotions you’re feeling.

Mi hombre and I started out as friends, and let me tell you… it was a bumpy ride before I finally figured out how to act, now that I was more than just his friend and my feelings were so much more intensified.

La primera vez que me besó fue incómodo AF, pero no porque él era un mal besador (trust me, he’s not), sino porque los dos estábamos muy indecisos e inseguros de lo que estábamos haciendo.

Aunque nos atrevimos a hacerlo, sucedió de repente y fue olvidable.

Luckily, we both knew we could do so much better than that, so it didn’t really discourage us from giving it another shot.

Los primeros días son los más raros, por no decir otra cosa.

I guess it would depend on how close you were as friends, but for us, since we were really close, we just weren’t totally sure if we wanted to risk losing the friendship that we had over something that might not work.

Learning how to behave now that you’re trying to be a little more than just two really close friends is daunting.

Especially when certain feelings start appearing and you’re feeling yourself get so much more attached and connected to him.

It gets scary, because you know this is actually leading somewhere new and exciting, but at the same time, the over-encompassing level of affection you’re feeling scares the shit out of you.

Because if it ends up backfiring, you’re probably losing one of tus mejores amigos.

For us, I thank my lucky stars we never gave up, because it’s been a little over a year now, and I’ve literally never been in a healthier, happier relationship.

La base que teníamos como amigos es lo que más nos ha ayudado.

Ya nos sentíamos cómodos el uno con el otro y no hubo conversaciones incómodas en profundidad en las que te preocupas por si te enteras de algo que te hará corre a las colinas.

Ya sabía todo lo que había que saber sobre él, y eso me dio la seguridad y la confianza necesarias para seguir adelante con esto.

When you feel there is something more there than just a beautiful friendship, my sincere advice is – go for it!

I wouldn’t be the woman that I am now if I hadn’t had the guts to start salir con un amigo.

If you don’t try, you’ll never know what you potentially could end up gaining, and if it works, it’s going to feel that much better because he was your friend first.

There isn’t a rulebook on how to handle the transition from friends to lovers, but there are some things that are inevitably going to play a significant role in the process, and it definitely can’t hurt to inform yourself before actually going for it.

So if you’re truly contemplating dating a friend, here are some things you should be mindful of before taking the leap!

Quizá quieras empezar coqueteando un poco para ver a qué atenerte...

It can be challenging trying to decipher his feelings, since you’re already close and you know he cares about you a lot.

And that’s the whole thing. He cares for you as a friend, but you want to make sure it transcends that!

How do you know if there is something more there when you’re already close and have a fun, playful friendship?

Here’s how I resolved that. Every time I’d go shopping, I’d take a hot selfie in a new outfit and text it to him to ask for his opinion of whether I should buy it or not.

Also, it needs to be something girly and hot, where he’ll get what you’re trying to do. And based on his response, you can see dónde estás.

Sus comentarios eran siempre coquetos y nada propios de un amigo, ¡y yo sabía que él también estaba coqueteando!

Eso me ayudó a decidirme a contemplar la posibilidad de salir con él de verdad.

Mi consejo es que primero tantee el terreno, sólo para estar seguro de que realmente hay algo ahí, antes de dar ese gran salto a lo desconocido.

Asegúrate primero de tener una base sólida como amigos

If you’re thinking about dating a friend, make sure that it is in fact a true, genuine friend, and not someone you think might flake on you if he gets cold feet.

The way he is as a friend is going to be a sign of what he’d be like as a boyfriend.

¿Puede contar con él en los momentos difíciles? ¿Es alguien en quien puedes confiar sin ninguna duda? ¿Vendría a recogerte a las 3 de la mañana si le llamas llorando?

Estas son todas las cosas que debes tener en cuenta antes de pasar a cosas más serias.

Es alguien con quien presumiblemente estás muy unido, así que deberías conocerle bastante bien.

Si lo que tenéis es una amistad profunda y fuerte, y sabes que él se preocupa de verdad por ti y que nunca darte por sentadoentonces tienes luz verde para hacerlo.

But if you see him with other girls and you don’t like the way he treats them, think about the fact that you would be just like those girls.

¿Te gustaría ese tratamiento?

Deep down, you know exactly what he’s like. Don’t lie to yourself that he’d be different with you. What you see is almost always what you get.

Make sure he’s a genuine, reliable person in your life before making any big decisions.

¿Por qué quieres salir con él?

Be honest with yourself, and don’t let your loss of faith in love or your current feeling of loneliness lead you into the wrong direction.

You don’t want to start dating a friend just because you’re harto de estar solo.

Si esa fuera una buena razón para salir con alguien, créeme, todo el mundo lo estaría haciendo porque sí.

You want to make sure that you’ve got all the right reasons for thinking about this.

Ante todo, tiene que haber emociones genuinas por tu parte, que sepas que son algo más que platónicas.

Without feeling anything different than just your typical friendly vibes, there’s honestly no point in putting yourself through that.

If you’ve established that your feelings are indeed transcending that friend stage, you’re good to go.

Make sure that you have some shared interests first. You don’t want to start anything with him unless you’re on the same page about the future.

I know he gives you that feeling of security and comfort, but that’s not enough for an actual relationship if that’s the only reason to start things up!

También tiene que haber atracción sexual, y tú tienes que querer de verdad tener una relación romántica con él.

If you’re not, sooner or later, it’s going to backfire and you’ll be at square one.

If you’re really sure you want to do this, stop seeing him as a friend and truly go for it

At first, it’s only normal to worry about what this could potentially do to your friendship in case it doesn’t work.

You’re worried about losing a really good friend and nobody can really blame you.

But at some point, you’re going to have to stop seeing him as a friend and start focusing on actually making it work as a couple.

Because for as long as you worry about the future and how it may affect you, you’re never going to be fully invested in this.

Te mereces ser feliz. Te mereces darle a esto una verdadera oportunidad.

And the only way you’re going to succeed in doing that is by putting in tons of effort and making sure that you’re working towards the same beautiful goal – a healthy, happy relationship.

Deje que la amistad sea la base sobre la que construir unos cimientos aún más sólidos que le ayuden a estrechar aún más sus lazos y alcanzar ese nivel de intimidad que sólo comparten las parejas.

Forget about all those things that could potentially go wrong, and stay focused on this thing you’re trying to build with him.

Every new relationship has a risk of burning out, so that’s no reason to doubt yourself and sabotage something that could end up being the best thing in your life.

Keep your budding romance private and don’t overshare with your mutual friends

Chances are, you two have some mutual friends and they will likely find out what’s happening between you two.

And that’s fine. It’s only natural to want to know about your two friends suddenly becoming romantically involved.

Pero el truco está en no involucrar demasiado a esos amigos comunes.

It’s already challenging enough without prying eyes who want to know every last detail about what’s new with you two.

Puedes compartir algunas cosas básicas.

Say that things are doing great and you’re both happy with where it’s heading, but don’t get into too many details. Keep that to yourself.

The attention is really going to just annoy the hell out of you and you don’t want that additional pressure and all those nagging questions that you don’t even know all the answers to.

Until you’re truly there, stay as private as possible; it’s the best thing for the relationship.

Only once you’ve got it all figured out and you know exactly where you are and what your intentions are with each other can you allow yourself to talk about it with your other friends.

That is the only way it won’t bug and pressure you into God knows what.

Besides, aren’t secret relationships just the best?

When you’ve got this whole amazing, hot, exciting new thing just to yourself, and no one in the world knows about it?

Sé que eso fue lo mejor para mí personalmente.

Fue mi pequeño secreto caliente durante todo el tiempo que pudimos mantenerlo en secreto.

Be aware that everything is going to be awkward at first (but that’s totally normal!)

With every beautiful new experience comes an awkward first time, and you’ll be no exception.

Es probable que la primera vez que tengas relaciones sexuales no sea la sesión caliente y tórrida que te has imaginado.

It might be… but it’s more likely that it won’t.

La presión y la idea de cómo debería ser van a desempeñar un papel muy importante en el resultado final.

I’m not saying it’s going to be bad or anything, just a bit awkward, but in a cute way, really.

Because as close as you two are, sex is another level of intimacy you haven’t experienced with each other yet, so before you get to know his body and vice versa, it’ll take a little time before it gets to that steamy, sexy level.

Según mi experiencia, la segunda vez ya es mucho mejor.

The first time, it’s basically getting to know one another on that ultimate, most personal level and seeing what works for each of you.

You’ll try out things, see what feels right, and you’ll know exactly what to do (or not do) the next time around.

But the point is, if there’s truly a connection there, you’ll totally be able to just laugh about it and brush it off.

You’ll find it cute and amusing, and when it’s done, you’ll be able to just lie there and make fun of each other, before falling asleep in his arms.

And trust me, it’s going to feel right. Just give it a few times, and you’ll be on top of things.