9 compromisos que nunca debes hacer en una relación
Estar en una relación significa unir dos vidas y hay que hacer algunos compromisos.
A little flexibility goes a long way. But compromising on things that make you you—those compromises should make you question staying in such a relationship.
Aquí tienes algunos compromisos que nunca deberías hacer, por mucho que quieras a la otra persona, porque si te piden que los hagas, puede que eso no sea amor real y sincero.
1. La vida sexual
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Differences in sex drive are a common thing—there’s no need to feel ashamed if you have a higher or lower sexual drive than your partner. The important thing is to talk and meet on middle ground.
But if your partner likes kinky stuff, or stuff that borders on true abuse and wants you to go against your will to satisfy him, that’s one compromise you should NEVER ever do.
Even if he threatens to leave you or tries to guilt trip you, that’s one more reason to leave. That’s no longer a healthy relationship.
2. 2. Objetivos profesionales
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Si soñabas con ser la jefa de tu propia empresa, hazlo. Si soñabas con ser ama de casa, sélo. Lo importante de una relación sana es que tu pareja te aceptará independientemente de la decisión que tomes y te apoyará al respecto.
Giving up on your dreams because someone asked you to do it will only lead you to the pit of unhappiness and despair, and maybe eventually depression. No man’s worth it.
3. 3. Familia y amigos
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When merging two lives together, it also means that you merge a whole bunch of people, too—your friends and family with his friends and family.
But if that merging means you only get to spend time with HIS friends and HIS family, that’s no longer a compromise—it’s manipulation. Again, communication is important. Talk, discuss, and make the best out of your situation.
4. Estilo de vida
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If you lived your life to the fullest before you met him, there’s no reason to change that now. You’re into extreme sports and he’s not? He’s into movies and you’re not? There’s no need for both of you to give up on your passions; there’s no need to give up on your lifestyle.
You can still have separate life whilst together. There’s a good reason why we make friends. You go hiking, while he goes to the movies. You can sing karaoke, while he drinks and cheers for you.
Puedes ir de compras mientras él hace lo que le apetece. Lo importante es no llegar a extremos de compromisos y a un lugar malsano de perderte a ti misma.
5. 5. Seguridad financiera
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Los malos hábitos de gasto de tu pareja te afectan en más de un sentido. Si planeas comprarte una casa algún día o incluso montar tu propio negocio pero tu pareja se gasta su dinero Y el tuyo en tonterías, puedes tirar ese plan a la basura.
The best thing to do is to have your finances separate until their spending habits get under control. Not having financial security in today’s world is a terrifying thing. No one can spread the love on bread and eat it. Unfortunately, we need money to survive.
6. Principios
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With time, we start to sacrifice our principles in order to keep our partners happy. But when to know if it’s enough? If you always hated cheaters and flirty idiots, why do you let him do that now?
Excuses like ‘They’re just friends, He’s just joking around.’ are okay if you are truly okay with that kind of behavior. But if there’s the slightest chance of that bothering you, don’t do it.
Tú siempre soñaste con tener tres hijos y una gran boda, ¿pero él no tiene planes de tener ninguno? ¿Desde cuándo tienes que renunciar a tus mayores sueños sólo para hacerle feliz?
7. Necesidad de comunicación
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I have no idea how many times I said or wrote down: ‘Communication is important. Communication is key.’ But what to do when your partner avoids talking and ignores your need to discuss things? I’m the kind of person that needs to discuss everything, from the color of shower curtains to which brand of peanut butter I am going to buy.
As much as I care about myself and my own happiness, I care about his. And in order to make him happy, I need to know how he feels and the way he thinks (hint to fellas: we don’t read minds).
If he doesn’t care enough to talk with you, to share his feelings, to hear your fears and hopes, maybe he doesn’t care about you that much. This is one compromise no couple should ever make. Nothing good ever came from the silent treatment; yell, scream, talk—just keep the communication flowing.
8. Falta de respeto
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All couples argue, but no one has the right to undermine the opinion of the other one or treat them badly. If you’re constantly being put down in public or embarrassed, that’s not cute or fun—that’s disrespect.
Quizá deberías replantearte tu relación si ve la falta de respeto sólo como diversión.
9. Abuso
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No one should put up with abuse, no matter if he apologizes later on or says he never meant to hurt you. He did and nothing can change that. Leaving abuse is hard, simply because it’s hard to admit that abuse can happen to us.
I know how hard it can be—you always make up excuses for his behavior: maybe if I didn’t act so stupid, maybe if I didn’t overreact, maybe he would have never snapped. But he did, more than once. Remember, love is not abuse.
