9 señales tóxicas de la doble moral en las relaciones de pareja
Double standards in relationships are quite common and it seems it’s been that way since the beginning of time.
Tanto los hombres como las mujeres las utilizan entre sí, y nadie es inocente, pero de alguna manera, parece que las mujeres se llevan siempre la peor parte.
Different rules apply to men and women. Generally speaking and in most of the world’s cultures, when it comes to male-female relationships, things can get pretty unfair.
Sé que el mundo no es justo, pero ¿deberían serlo las mujeres? juzgado más duramente por hacer exactamente lo mismo que los hombres?
Por supuesto que no. Pero lo hacen de todos modos, y hay un montón de hombres tóxicos por ahí que utilizan doble rasero en las relaciones a su favor.
Uno supondría que en este siglo las cosas cambiarían y el doble rasero sería cosa del pasado.
Pero, por desgracia, hay señales de alarma de este tipo de comportamiento en todo el mundo.
Así que ten cuidado e investiga los signos tóxicos de la doble moral en las relaciones que nunca deberías tolerar.
Lista de dobles raseros en las relaciones románticas:
1. When men have female friends, they expect you to look at it as something quite normal and acceptable, but you having male friends doesn’t go so well with him.
No se trata sólo de una cuestión de doble rasero en las relaciones, sino que también tiene todo que ver con la confianza.
Cuando confías en tu relación, other male or female friendships of your significant other won’t be an issue.
La mayor diferencia entre hombres y mujeres aquí es que a las mujeres se las tacha de celosas y locas por siquiera pensar que allí pueda estar pasando algo que supere la amistad.
Por otro lado, los hombres buscan comprensión porque se sienten amenazados por toda la situación.
Your partner shouldn’t ask you to ditch your guy friends just because the two of you are exclusive now.
He should understand that your male friends were in your life long before him and if you wanted to have something more than friendship, you already would’ve.
It’s not okay for him to ask you to tolerate something he is unable to. Protect your friendships and don’t risk losing a good friend for someone who clearly doesn’t trust you.
A good partner understands that you’ve had a long life before him and during that time you’ve cultivated many friendships.
Some of them are with men who ended up being among your closest friends. If he trusts you, he knows you’d never do anything to endanger your relationship.
If he doesn’t, he’ll pressure you to stop seeing your guy friends.
It’s up to you to decide who gets to control your life and your friend group. And that person should be you and you only, so make it known.
2. When men are strongly opinionated, they’re called driven, macho and confident. When women are strongly opinionated, they’re called bitches.
Gran diferencia. Como si volviera la Edad Media y hubiera que impedir a las mujeres decir lo que piensan sin rodeos y directamente.
It’s funny how in this day and age, women are looked at differently and called bitches just because they dare to stand for what they believe in.
El hombre que te llama bocazas y quiere coartar tu libertad de expresión definitivamente no es el hombre para ti.
La única opinión que le interesa es la suya y no tiene ningún interés en escuchar lo que tienes que decir.
También hay hombres que se dejan intimidar por los fuertes, mujeres inteligentes y hombres así no son con los que deberías salir.
And you need to realize that those men aren’t macho and confident; they’re weak and they’re cowards.
They feel threatened by a woman who’s powerful and opinionated, and they make her feel bad about it to boost their own fragile ego.
Recognize a weak man when he tries to diminish a strong woman’s flame. A real man builds his woman up and pushes her to be her best self.
Un hombre débil la menosprecia, la hace sentir mal por ser fuerte y la llama zorra.
I think it’s time this charade stops and the only way that’s ever going to happen is when each woman speaks up.
3. Cuando los hombres tienen un mayor número de parejas íntimas se les aplaude, pero a las mujeres con un número similar se las avergüenza.
When a man has seen more naked female bodies than he can count, he is a hero among his friends. He is a hot-shot and that’s perfectly normal.
But if a woman had to admit it openly, she’d be slut-shamed. She would be labeled as “easy” or called all sorts of names.
Yes, this still happens. It doesn’t seem quite fair, does it? It’s because it isn’t and women should be able to decide who they sleep with and when, just like men do.
If you’re dating someone who’s putting you down because your number of past intimate partners is high (and/or current for non-exclusive, open relationships), you’re dealing with the wrong man.
Esto nunca debería ser un problema. Tu vida de alcoba o tu pasado nunca deberían ir en tu contra.
Some find love with their high school sweetheart and some find it later on. Your number will probably depend on that and that’s not something you should be ashamed of.
Don’t tolerate that kind of behavior.Don’t ever let a man tell you you’re a slut for having had the exact same number of intimate partners as him.
Ese tipo de comportamiento es atroz y sólo nos hace retroceder en el tiempo.
Be proud of your choices and stand behind them no matter what. If he has a problem with that, he’s a prick with no respect and no morals. You need un hombre de verdad, and that’s not him.
4. When a man spends his entire day playing video games, that’s totally okay, but when a woman spends her entire day shopping, she’s superficial.
The thing is shopping, just as video games, are good pastime activities – something you do to relax and have some fun after all those hectic days.
It’s more than obvious that men and women look at things differently, but nobody should be judged for what they do in their spare time.
If a man you’re dating expects you to understand him being a gamer, he should understand your urge to go shopping, on a girl’s night out, mountain climbing, or whatever your favorite pastime is.
Remind him that you don’t get his urge to play games, but you respect it. In the same way, he should respect your interests, too, and let you enjoy your life on your own terms.
5. When a woman works long hours she’s scorned for being a careerist, and when a man does the same he’s hardworking and praiseworthy.
There’s nothing wrong with working hard and being ambitious. In a healthy relationship, partners will support and back each other up.
They’ll celebrate each other’s victories and never feel intimidated by the other’s success.
That is, providing that you’re never too busy to sustain a relationship and find time for each other, because what’s the point of being in a relationship if you never see your partner?
Sin embargo, si la relación no es sana y te encuentras con alguien tóxicoel doble rasero será bastante obvio.
Your partner won’t be the wind beneath your wings that helps you fly. He’ll be the one pinning you to the ground.
Te hará sentir que no eres lo suficientemente competente o bueno para tener éxito.
That’s exactly the thing you shouldn’t tolerate. Be with someone who always pushes you to do more and be more because he sees all the potential and all the greatness within you.
Be with someone who doesn’t see your success as his failure.
Defenderte a ti misma y tu derecho a trabajar tan duro como los hombres, y a ser igualmente respetada, allana el camino para que las mujeres jóvenes del mundo encuentren su camino y no tengan que soportar las tonterías que tú y el resto de nosotras soportamos.
6. When a man spends his entire day doing nothing wearing his boxers shorts, it’s cute. When a woman does the same wearing her PJs, she’s lazy, sloppy, and entirely neglecting herself and her man.
Esto también es algo que debería quedar en el pasado. En esta época moderna, hombres y mujeres deberían ser iguales en todo, incluidas las tareas cotidianas.
Cosas como cocinar y limpiar deben implicar a ambos miembros de la pareja.
Lo mismo debe hacerse con los días de pereza, a los que ambos miembros de la pareja tienen el mismo derecho.
Nadie está por encima de nadie y ya han pasado los tiempos en que las mujeres atendían todas las necesidades de los hombres. Mala suerte, chicos.
Dos personas en una relación son socios y ambos tienen que invertir en su relación y hacer el esfuerzo necesario.
So, take turns in doing everything, be both hardworking and lazy together. If he doesn’t agree with that, teach him how to take care of himself by leaving him all on his own
Una vez que un hombre se queda solo, teniendo que cocinar, limpiar y ocuparse él solo de las tareas cotidianas, sólo entonces se da cuenta del esfuerzo que ponen las mujeres en todo lo que hacen.
Damn straight we deserve to have our lazy days where we don’t have to dress up for anyone, impress anyone’s friends, and act in a way that pleases those around.
Nosotras merecemos nuestros días libres más que los hombres por la cantidad de esfuerzo que ponemos en todo sólo para ser tratadas con la mitad de respeto.
7. Cuando pasa una noche de juerga con chicos, debes mostrarte comprensiva, pero cuando sales con chicas, muestra celos, enfado y frustración.
Talk about double standards in relationships. He’s looking for understanding every time he’s out with his male friends.
On the other hand, he is unable to understand your need to do the same with your female friends. It’s hypocritical, to say the least.
If he expects you to trust him when he’s out salir con los amigosSi se va de fiesta con todas esas mujeres que le rodean, también debería confiar en ti con respecto a los hombres.
It’s not okay to have different sets of standards for you and for him. Once again, let me stress the importance of the word equality in a relationship.
If he gets to go out and let loose, so do you. If he gets to party until the wee hours of the night, so do you! No apologies. No pressure to be ”better” and no nothing.
Sólo dos compañeros disfrutando de su vida de forma igualitaria y justa. Al primer atisbo de él sugiriendo lo contrario, tienes que mostrarle la puerta y nunca mires atrás.
8. When it’s okay for a guy to have a wandering eye, but not for a woman to have one too.
Cuando pasa una mujer atractiva, nueve de cada diez hombres la miran de arriba abajo, y no ven ningún problema en ello.
They’ll even follow up that long stare with random comments about how her butt looks nice or how beautiful she is.
On the other hand, if an attractive man passes by and you give him nothing more than a gaze, most men won’t even think twice about calling you out on it.
They’ll be unable to understand why you have the necessity to check out some random guy.
Hello? He’s done the same exact thing just the other day to a woman he barely knows in your presence. Don’t tolerate his double standards.
Explícale que él ha hecho lo mismo y que tú lo superaste, y que si él puede controlar sus ojos desviados, tú también lo harás.
The other solution might be accepting that checking somebody out doesn’t have any connection with your relationship or mutual feelings.
Fijarse en otra persona es algo natural.
Chasing after somebody else while in a relationship is completely different, more serious, and unforgivable, and it shouldn’t be confused with something as simple as a ojo errante.
9. When he stays in contact with his ex, that’s okay, but when you do the same, it’s a lack of loyalty.
Introducir a tu ex en tu nueva relación es algo complicado. No mucha gente puede manejarlo y causa confusión desde el principio.
However, some people are able to stay in good relationships with their exes, but that relationship should never be more important than the one you’re in now.
Your new partner shouldn’t feel like they come last and your ex first. There’s a reason they’re an ex.
But if your partner’s using double standards here, he’ll excuse his contact with his ex but harshly judge yours.
He’ll blame you, and you’re probably going to have a lot of fights that include the ex-factor.
Don’t let him get away with it. What goes for you, goes for him too.
Talk openly. Don’t let your exes dictate your current relationship. You both should put your current relationship first.
Reflexiones finales
Now that you’ve red this article ask yourself a few questions: ¿Estás soportando la doble moral habitual en tu relación?
Have you had enough of being treated differently simply because you’re a woman?
If so, it’s time to recognize that, speak up, and start making a change.
It’s time to stop putting up with that guy friend who’ll ”jokingly” say something that is totally sexist, long-term relationships where every single guy thinks he has the right to give input on your clothing choices and pressure you to be a stay-at-home woman.
It’s a very bad thing when your man makes you feel like the less capable partner and imposes those toxic double standards on you.
Las relaciones románticas consisten en empujaros mutuamente a ser la mejor versión de vosotros mismos y levantaros el uno al otro.
Who made him the boss of you in the first place? Am I right? You’re the one who needs to show him what goes and what won’t fly.
Muéstrale un nuevo tú si percibes que su comportamiento roza la un relación abusiva.
For instance narcissist thinks he can control his intimate relationships and make the first move every time, but it’s time they’re all shown that women have just as much power as men.
Cuando las mujeres se den cuenta de sus capacidades, ningún hombre podrá igualar su determinación.
If there’s one main takeaway from all of this, it’s to never let a man tell you how you should live your life.
You’re just as worthy, just as hard-working, and you put in double the effort for half the respect.
Times have not been kind to women and if there was ever a time when our voices should be heard, it’s now.
Todo empieza con una mujer y una acción. Una vez que le muestres a tu hombre cómo debe tratarte, tus amigas íntimas y tus hermanas lo verán y quizá hagan lo mismo.
And bit by bit, it’s going to become too loud and too obvious to ignore. No more BS, no more relaciones tóxicasy no más pisotones sobre nosotros.
We’re badass and we’re strong, and we’re here to get what’s ours. Who can stop us once we’re united in our determination?
That’s right – nobody.
Así que empieza por hacer un cambio en tu relación y, a partir de ahí, mantenlo en todas las esferas de la vida.
It’s a small step for you, but a huge one for women overall. Fight your fight and never forget that without women, there would be nothing.
