4 cosas que haces en las citas que te hacen parecer desesperado

El truco del comportamiento desesperado es que la persona que lo realiza es la última en darse cuenta de los síntomas.

You’re actually behaving this way unconsciously – you hold on to the other person in an attempt to keep him around.

However, you’re in fact achieving just the opposite: You’re allowing him to darte por sentado, you’re giving him clearance to treat you the way he wants, and consequently, you’re chasing him away.

¿Cuáles son exactamente las cosas que haces en las citas, sin ni siquiera ser consciente de ello, que te hacen parecer desesperado?

Llegar siempre primero

Let’s be honest. What would your relationship look like if you weren’t the one pulling all the strings? Would you ever even hear from your boyfriend, if you weren’t the one initiating everything?

You might be satisfied with the fact that this guy almost always responds to your texts, but the truth is that you’re the one who reaches out to him every time.

You’re the one texting him, calling him, and asking him out. The one who keeps suggesting activities together and puts an effort into making your time together as interesting as possible.

The worst part is that you don’t hesitate to double or triple text him when he ignores your initial text.

Básicamente, toda vuestra relación se basa en que tú le persigas y él acceda a quedar contigo de vez en cuando.

For a change, try this experiment. Don’t reach out to him first for a couple of days.

I’m not suggesting you to do this to make him afraid of losing you.

I just want you to see whether he’ll notice your absence and be the one to initiate contact, or your relationship will fizzle without your initiative.

Dar infinitas segundas oportunidades

Otra cosa que haces que te hace parecer desesperado en una relación es dar todas esas segundas oportunidades.

Every time your partner makes a mistake he is without a doubt responsible for, you can’t wait to forgive him.

He doesn’t even have to offer you a proper apology – you’ll find an excuse for his behavior. The truth is you want to forgive him even when he doesn’t say he’s sorry.

So you look for hints of his regret and absolve him of his sins. You pretend that something he did didn’t hurt you that much and that everything is fine, even when it clearly isn’t.

Well, let me tell you that this behavior doesn’t go unnoticed. In fact, by doing this, you’re only giving this man the green light to keep on harming you, without any consequences.

Actividad en las redes sociales

Mucha gente te dirá que las redes sociales no significan nada cuando se trata de relaciones románticas.

After all, there are many couples who don’t promote their love on social media yet have the happiest romances in real life.

Sin embargo, te guste admitirlo o no, lo cierto es que una gran parte de las citas modernas giran en torno a las redes sociales.

Precisamente por eso, tu actividad allí puede ser un indicador de tu comportamiento desesperado.

Lo único que tienes que hacer es comparar tu comportamiento y el de tu pareja.

Just to be clear, we’re not talking about a man who simply doesn’t use either of the social platforms or is nothing but a passive bystander.

We’re talking about a guy who posts Instagram and Snapchat stories. A man who follows a bunch of girls and is clearly concerned about his social media reputation.

However, you’re nowhere to be found on his profiles. It’s like he ignores your existence and doesn’t give a damn about whatever you might be doing there.

Tú, en cambio, eres el primero en ver sus historias, le das a me gusta y comentas todas sus actualizaciones de estado y fotos, y todo lo que publicas va dirigido a él.

Demasiado disponible

One of the most obvious signs that you come across as desperate is the fact that you’re always available. You don’t know how to say “no” and you’re ready to move mountains just to see or please this man.

No, I’m not saying that you should engage in juegos mentales and tell him that you’re busy when you’re actually not.

I’m not advising you to play hard to get and reschedule your plans at the last minute just to mess with his head.

Sin embargo, you shouldn’t show him that he can always have you at his disposal either. As soon as this man moves an inch towards you, you’re ready to run into his arms.

You’re the one who finds time to see him, can fit him into your schedule, and cancels plans for his sake. Conversely, he never returns the favor and keeps on treating you as his last resort.