Cómo recuperar a tu ex novia: 17 maneras probadas de hacerlo
Ha pasado tiempo desde que tu ex novia y tú os separasteis, pero el tiempo no cura las heridas.
You can’t seem to get her out of your head, as much as you try to do so.
O acabáis de terminar vuestra relación pero estáis convencidos de que romper fue una mala decisión.
En cualquier caso, es más que obvio que todavía sientes algo por ella y que te gustaría volver con ella.
However, the truth is that you simply don’t know how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
You don’t want her to start seeing you as some pathetic loser who is begging her to come back but you have to find a way to approach her.
¿Cuál es la mejor manera de hacerlo sin asustarla? ¿Debes dejar que se acerque a ti o debes empezar a perseguirla enseguida?
If these are some of the questions that have been bothering you, you’ve come to the right place because you’re about to get some tested pieces of advice on how to get your ex- girlfriend back that work like a charm.
Olvídate de todos tus miedos y dudas porque nuestro experto en relaciones está a punto de enseñarte cómo recuperar a tu ex novia de la forma más fácil posible, sin parecer desesperado en el proceso.
Todo lo que tienes que hacer es seguir esta guía paso a paso sin esfuerzo y te prometo que reconquistarla será pan comido.
Piensa en el motivo de tu ruptura
Antes de aprender cómo recuperar a tu ex novia, lo primero es llegar al fondo de la ruptura.
Let’s face it—the two of you broke things off for a reason and something clearly wasn’t working that well in your relationship.
Well, you can’t expect everything to go back the way it used to be before processing your break-up.
Hay que pensar en los motivos y en la forma en que se produjo antes de intentar salva tu relación.
I’ll be honest—if you insulted or in any way humiliated your ex while leaving her, getting back together will probably be quite difficult.
On the other hand, if she did that to you, it’s time you reconsider your desire to reconcile with her because she might not deserve you.
¿Qué pasó exactamente? ¿Por qué tú y tu ex novia decidisteis tomar caminos separados?
¿Hubo engaño? ¿Una persona abusaba de la otra?
Did you guys understand that you had some fundamental differences that you couldn’t surpass?
¿O acabas de tener una gran pelea que ahora parece una tontería desde este punto de vista?
¿Pensasteis bien la ruptura o se produjo en un momento de ira?
¿Cómo se produjo la ruptura? ¿Os dijisteis cosas de las que os arrepentís o lo hicisteis de forma madura y civilizada?
Estas son todas las preguntas importantes a las que debe responder antes de proceder al proceso de maquillaje.
Lo que necesitas saber es si esta ruptura es algo que puedes superar y si es algo que puedes olvidar.
Si volvéis a estar juntos, ¿será un punto de inflexión entre vosotros dos o podréis seguir con vuestra relación como si nada hubiera pasado?
La verdad es que a veces romper una relación es la mejor opción posible porque volver a estar juntos sería un infierno.
A veces la gente se aleja de la forma más desagradable y humillante y, cuando eso ocurre, una relación no tiene futuro y simplemente hay que aceptarlo, por mucho que duela.
Piensa en quién fue el que inició la ruptura
Otra cosa que tienes que pensar es quién fue el que puso fin a las cosas. ¿La decisión fue mutua o uno de los dos dejó plantado al otro?
¿De quién fue la culpa de la ruptura? ¿Tu ex se fue por algo que tú hiciste o lo hizo simplemente porque dejó de quererte?
Si fuiste tú quien rompió la relación, probablemente te resulte más fácil recuperar a tu ex novia.
Por supuesto, probablemente esté herida and angry at you for leaving her but she likely wasn’t ready to end your relationship and she wasn’t the one who thought she’d be better off without you.
If this is the case, you just need to show her that you’re actually a nice guy who regrets his decision and convince her that you’d never do it again if you could go back in time.
Also, you have to be patient and wait for her to understand that you are serious and that you don’t plan on playing with her, if she gives you another chance.
However, if your ex was the one who walked away from you, the situation is trickier, especially if she didn’t make this decision as a consequence of your actions.
You can’t run after her because that would give her the green light to come and go whenever she wants and it would make her think that she can dump you whenever she feels like it and you’ll always beg her to come back.
Eso significa que tienes que encontrar la manera de hacerle entender por sí misma lo que ha perdido.
La mejor opción sería hacer que se acercara a ti, disculpándose por haberte roto el corazón y pidiéndote una segunda oportunidad.
Reconócete a ti mismo tus sentimientos
El siguiente paso en el proceso de recuperar a tu ex es ser honesto contigo mismo antes de iniciar una conversación con ella.
En lugar de reprimir sus emociones e intentar huir de ellos, abrazarlos y entrar en contacto con ellos.
Do you really love this girl? Or is it just lust you’re feeling?
¿Por qué la quieres de vuelta? ¿Es para demostrarte a ti mismo que puedes tenerla cuando te apetezca?
Is it because you don’t want to allow some other guy to have her?
Is it because you think you’ll never find a girl like her? Do you want her back just to fix your broken ego or because you can’t live without her?
¿Son tus sentimientos más importantes que tu orgullo y tu ego? ¿O es al revés?
¿La echas de menos? ¿O echas de menos estar en una relación?
Do you want to get back together with her out of habit and because you’re used to having her around?
¿Tienes miedo de salir de tu zona de confort o de verdad te preocupas por ella?
Is it possible that you just don’t want to go back to being single?
That you despise modern dating and that you’re tired of searching for the right person?
That you’d rather go back to someone who is familiar to you than going through the process of getting to know some new girl?
These are all the questions you’ll have to give honest answers to before learning how to get your ex-girlfriend back because they will determine your path to doing so and they will help you see whether you really want this person in your life or not and whether fighting for her is worth it or not.
Recuerda tus errores en la relación
After you’ve come to terms with your emotions, the next step is to go back to the past and think your entire relationship through.
It’s to continue being honest to yourself and to take full responsibility for your words and actions.
No importa quién dijo el despedida finalToda relación es una calle de doble sentido, y la suya no fue una excepción.
Eso significa que tanto tú como tu ex cometisteis algunos errores que condujeron a vuestra ruptura.
Firstly, focus on the things you did wrong. What are the things you’d like to change if you could?
¿Qué era lo que más le molestaba a tu ex cuando estabais juntos?
Intenta ser lo más realista posible.
En lugar de justificarte y poner excusas, intenta actuar como un extraño y sé franco sobre los pasos en falso que has dado.
However, don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t put all the blame on you only either.
Even when you understand all of your mistakes, remember that beating yourself up won’t get you anywhere.
Instead of wasting your energy on self-resentment, be aware that you can’t go back in time and that you can’t erase all of your wrongdoings.
Nevertheless, what you can do is make sure you don’t repeat your mistakes.
¿Qué podrías hacer para satisfacer a tu ex, si volvéis a estar juntos, sin perderte a ti mismo en el proceso?
Piensa en las cosas que estás dispuesto a hacer de otra manera, si tienes otra oportunidad.
Además, sé franco sobre las partes de tu personalidad que sabes que nunca podrías cambiar, por mucho que quisieras.
Recuerda sus errores en la relación
Lo mismo ocurre con los errores que tu ex novia cometió en el pasado.
I know that you miss her like hell now and that all of her flaws appear irrelevant from this point of view but I’m begging you to be realistic about her the same way you are with yourself.
Also, you can’t expect to arregla tu relación rota if you plan on holding grudges forever so please be honest and think about if you’re ready to forgive your ex for all of her mistakes.
¿De verdad estás preparado para olvidar todo lo que te hizo sin volver al pasado cada vez que discutís?
Can you accept her for who she really is, together with all of her imperfections and the parts of her personality you don’t like?
¿O esperas que cambie la esencia de su ser sólo por ti?
¿Crees que podría cambiar su comportamiento y dejar de hacer las cosas que te molestan?
¿Cree que existe la posibilidad de que comprenda sus errores y se responsabilice de ellos?
Let’s make one thing clear—no matter what happens, if you and your ex get back together, don’t expect her to miraculously become someone else.
She will still essentially be the same girl you used to be with and if that is someone you can’t accept, don’t even bother trying to win her back.
Piense si sus problemas tienen solución
La verdad es que ninguna relación es perfecta y todas tienen problemas.
No importa lo que alguien intente hacerte creer, todas las parejas discuten y se pelean de vez en cuando.
However, there is a huge difference between some small disagreements which can be easily resolved and between real-life problems that can’t be fixed, as much as both of you try to do so.
Maybe you have different worldviews, different future plans or something that can’t be forgiven happened in the past.
Either way, the point is the same—even if you don’t want to admit it, there are times when a romantic la relación está condenada al fracasopor mucho que intentes salvarlo.
Momentos en los que una relación está rota sin remedio y en los que no se puede hacer nada más que aceptar la cruda realidad.
So, if you’re wondering how to get your ex-girlfriend back, one of the things you simply have to do before anything else is to reconsider your problems realistically.
Even though you have strong feelings for this girl and even if she cares for you back, remember that sadly, sometimes love isn’t enough.
Por eso debes encontrar la fuerza para hacer caso omiso de tus emociones en la medida de lo posible y pensar si esta relación tiene realmente futuro.
¿Sois compatibles?
¿Volveréis a romper si os reconciliáis ahora o podréis aprender de vuestros errores?
¿Ves la posibilidad de construir una vida al lado de esta chica?
Si estás convencido de que una segunda oportunidad para vuestra relación arreglaría las cosas, haz todo lo posible por aprender cómo recuperar a tu ex novia.
Nevertheless, if you know deep down that your problems can’t be resolved, please face reality and don’t try gluing back together what cannot be fixed.
Don’t bad-mouth her
It’s natural for you to feel all kinds of negative emotions when your relationship ends, especially if you’re the one who’s been left behind.
Te sientes traicionado, abandonado, amargado y, sobre todo, furioso por el hecho de que la chica a la que aún amas se haya alejado de ti tan despiadadamente, sin tener en cuenta tus emociones.
Cuando esto ocurre, sientes el impulso de compartir tu decepción con el mundo.
Quieres quitarle la máscara de buena chica y que todo el mundo vea lo gilipollas que es en realidad.
One of the golden rules of every break-up is not to talk trash about your ex, even if you don’t plan on reconciling with them.
It doesn’t matter what she did to you—talking badly about her behind her back is off-limits.
Al fin y al cabo, se trata de la persona junto a la que has pasado tanto tiempo y con la que compartes recuerdos increíbles y no hay necesidad de arruinar eso, a pesar de los términos en los que ambos os separasteis.
Además de ser irrespetuoso con tu ex y con tu relación anterior, hablar mal de tu ex pareja romántica significa que también estás hablando mal de ti mismo.
She was your choice and your significant other for so long, so it means that you’re no better than her, as long as you stayed by her side for so long.
This is especially the case if you’re planning to learn how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
She doesn’t have to find out that you went on blabbing about your relationship and about her flaws but you’ll definitely feel bad about doing so when the initial anger and resentment are gone.
I know you’re hurt right now but don’t let the pain overwhelm you and make you act like the immature brat you’re not.
Acepta esta ruptura as an adult and once she sees that you still respect her, even though you guys aren’t together, trust me that you’ll have a bigger chance of winning her back.
Don’t be demasiado pegajoso
En cuanto empiezas a echar de menos a tu ex, lo primero que quieres hacer es llamarla y rogarle que vuelva.
You’ve heard the saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and you feel the need to prevent her from forgetting all about you, thinking that you should start chasing her while it isn’t too late.
You feel like you’ll go crazy if you spend another day without her and you are convinced that explaining the situation and being clear about your pain is exactly the way to winning her back.
However, I’m sure you don’t want her to be with you out of pity or sympathy, do you?
Odio ser yo quien rompa tu burbuja, pero tienes que saber que esto es lo último que deberías pensar en hacer.
Ser demasiado pegajoso nunca es atractivo y sólo puede hacer que ella huya aún más de ti.
Trust me—if you become too needy now that you guys have split, your ex will just think of you as desperate.
She’ll have the impression that you can’t live without her and will definitely use that to her own advantage.
Don’t get me wrong—-there is nothing shameful in showing your ex-girlfriend that you still have feelings for her.
Al fin y al cabo, esta chica ha formado parte de tu vida durante mucho tiempo y sería imposible olvidarla en una fracción de segundo.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you should show her that just because you love her, she can treat you the way she wants.
En lugar de ser demasiado pegajoso en el momento en que ella se aleje de ti, nunca olvides mantener tu dignidad y orgullo.
Don’t allow her to humiliate you in any way and don’t give her the green light to keep leaving you and coming back as she likes.
Aplique el norma de no contacto
The truth is that playing mind games is almost never healthy for a relationship but when you’re trying to figure out how to get your ex-girlfriend back, sometimes you simply have to engage in little tricks to make it happen.
Of course, you won’t manipulate her into loving you if she doesn’t feel that way—you’ll just help awaken her hidden emotions which even she isn’t aware of.
Hay veces en que la gente necesita perdernos antes de aprender a apreciarnos.
Momentos en los que tu ausencia es la única forma de que alguien empiece a valorar tu presencia y vea que se equivocó cuando pensó que podía salir adelante sin ti.
Este es exactamente el caso de tu ex novia; existe la posibilidad de que te diera por sentado y que contara con que siempre estarías a su lado. Por eso tienes que demostrarle lo contrario.
If you’re looking for advice on how to get your ex-girlfriend back, the key to successfully doing so is to make her miss you.
Y he aquí exactamente cómo conseguirlo.
I’m sure you’ve already heard about the norma de no contacto¿verdad?
Es un método probado para volver con tu ex cortando todos los lazos posibles con ellos durante un cierto periodo de tiempo.
It means that for a couple of weeks or even months, you’re not allowed to initiate any kind of communication with your ex-girlfriend—you can’t call her, text her, like or comment on her social media photos and updates.
You aren’t allowed to post sad songs on your news feed, to go to the places you know you might encounter her or to hang out with her friends or family in the hope of hearing something about her.
To put things simply, if you want this method to work, you have to completely ignore this girl and for this period of time, you can’t be the first to initiate contact, no matter what happens.
There is no looking for excuses to reach her—you have to pretend like she doesn’t exist and as if you really did leave her in the past, where she belongs.
You’re probably scared that this approach will make your ex forget all about you but trust me—this won’t happen.
Instead, she’ll become worried about losing you and she’ll realize that she misses you as well.
What is even better this way is that you’re giving yourself an opportunity to think things through and maybe even get over her.
Aplicación de la regla de no contacto is a real win-win situation—either you’ll stop loving her and realize that you actually don’t want to get back together or she’ll come crawling back to you.
Trabaja en ti mismo
I’ll probably disappoint you here but going full no contact is not the only thing you’ll have to do if you’re figuring out how to get your ex-girlfriend back.
No le basta con sentir tu ausencia física, también tiene que percibir que ya no es lo único que pasa por tu cabeza.
What is even more important is to prove to yourself that you’re a valuable man, without or without a girl by your side.
Y qué mejor manera de hacerlo que aumenta tu autoestima?
Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, lo sé.
Let’s face it—we’d all like to magically wake up one morning as a confident person, without any insecurities or self-doubts.
No obstante, la construcción de la autoestima es un proceso que incluye mucho trabajo personal.
Ante todo, trabaja en tu interior.
This is the time in your life when you don’t have a duty to make any compromises and the time when you can do whatever the hell makes you happy.
Do whatever you want with your spare time—just don’t spend it calling your ex or stalking her.
Go to the gym, find a new hobby, catch up with some people you recently didn’t have enough time to see.
Even though this is clearly not the time to get yourself involved in a new romantic relationship, you’re a single man and there is absolutely nothing wrong with starting dating, flirting or texting other girls.
Stay in shape but be careful not to lead anyone on to the point where a new girl might fall in love with you, while you can’t respond to her feelings.
Whatever you do, make sure not to feel like you’re stuck in one place while your ex has moved on with her life.
Haz algunos cambios en tu vida y pasa más tiempo mejorar el aspecto físico y la salud mental en el proceso.
I’m not saying that you should become someone you’re not just to impress this girl but trust me—she’ll be more attracted to the parts of you she still hasn’t yet had the chance to meet.
Trabaja para convertirte en la mejor versión posible de ti mismo y, lo que es más importante, empieza a ponerte a ti primero.
After all, since you and your ex broke things off, you have all of this time and energy you’d been spending on your relationship.
Ahora es el momento de utilizarlo sabiamente y redirigirlo hacia ti mismo.
Lo mismo ocurre con el amor. En lugar de obsesionarte con cómo recuperar a tu ex novia, céntrate en ser más feliz que nunca.
Try finding out if she’s still interested
After you’ve invested your time and energy into improving yourself in all ways possible and after the no contact period is over, it is time to try and find out more about your ex-girlfriend’s feelings and the best way to do it is indirectly.
Now is the time in which you are allowed to talk to her friends, while subtly asking about her, to stalk her social media to see how she’s been feeling, etc.
These are all the things which can help you realize whether you still exist in this girl’s mind or not.
Sin embargo, lo más importante es saber si ella realmente siguió adelante. ¿Está saliendo con alguien nuevo?
Si descubres que tu ex tiene un nuevo chico en su vida, haz todo lo posible por llegar al fondo de su relación, sin parecer un cretino.
You know how she usually behaves when she is in love so you won’t have any trouble seeing if this is a rebound relationship, whether she is only using him to make you jealous or she really loves him.
I won’t lie to you—if it happens that you realize that your ex-girlfriend has a serious relationship and that she has developed feelings for another man or even that she is just dating someone else, winning her back won’t be that easy.
However, if she is single, it means you probably stand a good chance because there is a big possibility that she hasn’t gotten over you just yet.
Don’t hesitate to ask around about if she mentions you, see if she’s deleted all of your pictures together and pay attention to if she hangs out at the places she probably hopes to accidentally run into you.
¿Sigue en contacto con tus amigos y familiares, se ha acordado de tu cumpleaños o de alguna otra festividad?
¿Ha intentado ponerse en contacto contigo?
Tener todo esto en cuenta sin duda le ayudará a ver dónde está parado y le ayudará a formar una mejor estrategia para recuperarla.
Of course, if she showed some interest in you during this time, things will be quite easier but if she acted cold, that doesn’t mean that you should lose hope in your reconciliation.
Inventa una razón para contactar con ella
The next step in trying to win your ex-girlfriend back over is reaching out to her, if she hasn’t done the same before now.
The period of no contact is over and you’ve both had time to think things through, to start missing each other and to see if you really want each other in your lives again.
Initiating communication at this point is not desperate—you’ve shown this girl that you can live without her and that you can make it on your own, no matter what she might have thought.
Sin embargo, ser demasiado honesto sobre sus intenciones no es tan buena idea.
This way, you won’t scare her away and you’ll have a chance to remind her of all the good times you guys shared before engaging in some difficult and painful topics right away.
Besides, even if she ignores you, your ego will still be intact because you didn’t give her an opportunity to turn you down.
Also, judging by her initial reaction, you’ll be able to tell if she wants to get back together or if she is bothered by you even contacting her.
¿Está soltando indirectas y señales no verbales que ella todavía te ama ¿y te está dando el espacio para hacer un movimiento con ella?
Or has she has put her guard up, not allowing you to cross the line and letting you know that she isn’t interested in rebuilding your relationship?
Por eso, inventar una excusa para acercarte a tu ex novia es mucho mejor que pedirle que se reconcilie contigo de la nada.
Tal vez quieras esperar a su cumpleaños o a alguna otra fecha importante y utilizarla como motivo de contacto.
Puedes pedirle ayuda o incluso pedirle que te devuelva algunas de las cosas que necesitas.
If none of this is possible, the last option you have is to tell her that you had a dream about her or that you just want to see how she’s doing and what she’s been up to—it just shows that you want to stay on good terms and that you don’t hold any grudges against her.
Of course, if she gives you the green light, this is when you’ll confess your feelings and tell her your intentions.
Prepárese para la conversación
Sin embargo, antes de hablar honestamente con su ex-noviaEn primer lugar, tienes que prepararte mentalmente para esta conversación.
Naturally, you can’t predict the entire dialogue because you don’t have the possibility of knowing her answers but you can do your best to prepare yourself with the things you plan on saying and the approach you think is the best.
¿Cómo y cuándo tendrá lugar la conversación? ¿Piensas llamarla o mandarle un mensaje de texto?
Ten en cuenta que una llamada telefónica es algo mucho más serio y propio de adultos, mientras que los mensajes de texto te dan la oportunidad de continuar una conversación informal antes de pasar a lo verdaderamente importante.
¿La invitarás directamente a salir? ¿O intentarás encontrártela por casualidad e invitarla a tomar un café?
What will you say to her? How will you start talking? Will you get straight to the point or will you beat around the bush until you’re certain that she wants you back as well?
What do you expect to happen? Be realistic—how likely is it for this girl to jump into your arms, as if nothing has happened?
Ser positivo y esperar lo mejor definitivamente te ayudará con el resultado porque tu ex verá que estás seguro de ti mismo y ella sin duda caerá rendida ante tu autoestima.
No obstante, también hay que estar preparado para el peor de los casos.
Let’s face it—there always exists the possibility of her turning you down.
Maybe she’s dejó de amar you or she realized that the two of you don’t have a future together, despite the emotions you share.
En cualquier caso, si esto ocurre, ten en cuenta que ella está en su derecho de decir que no y que tú tienes que ser un caballero y respetarlo.
En lugar de ponerte demasiado emocional o mostrarle tu enfado, agradece que haya sido lo suficientemente justa como para decirte cómo son las cosas desde el principio, sin darte largas.
Recuérdale los buenos tiempos
Now that you’ve managed to get this girl to talk to you or even to see you in person, it’s time to make some concrete moves and to act on your desire.
Está claro que está dispuesta a darte otra oportunidad and that she isn’t as certain about this break-up as she thinks she is or as she was in the beginning.
She wouldn’t have agreed to meeting with you and she would have never answered your phone calls if that was true.
Even though the two of you have some serious things to discuss, don’t tackle these issues right from the start because you’ll have plenty of time to do so later on.
I’m not saying that you should brush your break-up under the carpet but you should definitely start your conversation with some lighter topics.
Por eso, lo mejor que puede hacer es contar con la pasado que tenéis juntos como su aliado.
Recordar a tu ex los buenos momentos que compartisteis la hará sentir nostalgia y, en consecuencia, será más fácil reconquistarla.
Just make sure to do so as subtly as possible so she doesn’t see through your intentions.
Menciona un lugar que hayáis visitado o pregúntale si se acuerda de aquel viaje que hicisteis hace tiempo.
This way, she’ll realize that you didn’t forget anything regarding your past relationship, which is an obvious sign of how much she means to you.
Una vez que ella empiece a sentir todo el amor que creía perdido y a recordar todos los bonitos recuerdos que tenéis los dos, reconquistarla será pan comido.
Your ex will be nostalgic about those good times and she’ll want them back, even if she doesn’t admit it.
At the same time, you’ll help her forget and disregard all the ugly stuff that happened between the two of you.
She’ll realize that your relationship was much more good than bad and she’ll realize it is without a doubt something she wants in her life.
Sea sincero sobre sus sentimientos
After you see that you’ve managed to soften your ex, it’s time to bring out the big guns.
This is the moment of your honesty—the moment in which you’ll come clean about your feelings and intentions.
First and foremost, forget about pretending to be this tough, heartless guy and don’t feel weak for taking the first step—you’ve spent more than enough time jugando duro and pretending that you don’t care and it’s about time for you to find out where you stand and about time to put an end to these games.
Don’t think of yourself as weak or as less of a man for admitting your emotions—it only means you’re strong enough to face them, accept them and verbalize them.
No matter the outcome, trust me that your ex will respect you once she sees that you’re a real man who knows what he wants and who isn’t afraid to get it.
That is exactly why you should tell her how things are—ask her to give you a minute to tell her something without interrupting you and make sure she realizes that you’re deadly serious.
Sé sincero sobre el hecho de que la echas de menos, que aún la quieres y que deseas que vuelva.
Don’t worry, none of this has to sound cheesy or overly pathetic—just be strong enough to talk to her and try not to get overly emotional.
Not only that—also tell her why you think that your relación podría funcionar esta vez.
Haz todo lo posible por convencerla de que acepte volver con nosotros, sin suplicarle.
Si es necesario, antes de enfrentarte a tu chica, ensaya las frases que piensas decirle.
Puedes hacerlo frente al espejo o incluso escribirlas en un papel y luego leértelas a ti mismo.
This way, you’ll know how this speech sounds and if it needs some modification.
Of course, you won’t learn every sentence by heart—this only serves you as a guide and a reminder to say everything that’s on your mind.
Hable sobre el futuro de su relación
If you’re wondering how to get your ex-girlfriend back, the bulletproof way of doing so is to show her that you’re serious about getting back together and that you don’t plan on playing games once that happens.
She needs to see that you’re ready to take the necessary steps to rebuild your relationship and talking about its future is the way to convince her of that.
En lugar de intentar echarle a ella toda la culpa del fracaso de tu relación, sé lo suficientemente hombre como para asumir la responsabilidad de tus errores y admite que tú también te equivocaste muchas veces.
Show her that you’ve changed and that you’re ready to esforzarse e intentar que las cosas funcionen esta vez.
Also, make her realize that you understand all of your mistakes and everything she’s been going through.
Don’t accuse her of overreacting and don’t try belittling el motivo de su ruptura because if it wasn’t important, it wouldn’t have caused your relationship to end, would it?
Avoid talking too much about the break-up and don’t play the blame game. Instead, focus on the future.
¿Qué puedes hacer para evitar que esta vez acabe igual? ¿Cómo puedes asegurarte de que tu relación tenga éxito?
Be honest toward yourself and toward her. I know that now you think you’re ready to agree to any conditions she proposes just to have her back.
Sin embargo, la realidad es bien distinta.
Sooner or later, your problems and dissatisfaction will rise to the surface so it’s for the best to talk about the future of your potential relationship right from the start.
Intenta descartar tus emociones y considera esta conversación como una negociación. ¿En qué cosas podéis llegar a un acuerdo y quedar a medias?
¿Cuáles son sus los rompedores de acuerdos y ¿qué cosas esperas de una relación? ¿Qué es lo que ninguno de los dos tolerará en la otra persona?
Talk to her about the future of your relationship, if it happens that you reconcile. Set some ground rules and show her that you’re ready to respect them.
Don’t force anything
Como ya se ha dicho, tu ex tiene todo el derecho a rechazar tu oferta y a decidir no volver contigo.
No matter what happens, you shouldn’t force her into doing anything.
Recuerde que hay una diferencia entre no rendirse demasiado pronto y ser demasiado insistente.
Así que, si tu ex novia te pide algo de tiempo para tomar una decisión, dale ese tiempo.
Don’t let her lead you on and determine a date up until you’ll be willing to wait for her.
On the other hand, if she asks you to take things slowly because she can’t forget everything that has happened, reconsider this idea as well.
Maybe it’s better for your reconciliation to be a step by step process which will give both of you time to see where things are going and to rethink your decision, without committing to anything, before making a final step toward a healthy relationship.
Either way, what is important is that getting back together happens with the terms of which you’ll both agree upon.
