Cuándo decir "te quiero" por primera vez en una relación
Saying, “I love you,” to your partner is one of the most romantic things when it comes to new relationships but knowing when to say, “I love you,” is also one of the hardest.
When you spend lots of time with someone and every time you’re about to see them, you experience the sensation of butterflies in your stomach, their presence feels like home and you can’t imagine living without them, it is normal to come to the conclusion that you’re in love with them.
Y no hay mayor sensación en el mundo que ésta.
Pero ahora viene la parte más difícil, en la que piensas y piensas demasiado en decírselo.
De repente, la incertidumbre te abruma hasta el punto de que empiezas a dudar de tus propios sentimientos.
Empiezas a hacerte preguntas como: “Should I be the first one declaring my love or should I wait for them to do so?
What if they don’t feel the same about it and I get humiliated by saying ‘I love you’ too early?”
When to say, “I love you”?
When is the right time to say, “I love you,” for the first time in a relationship?
¿Es al cabo de dos semanas, después de conocer a toda su familia, o en ese mismo momento cuando empiezas a sentirlo en tus entrañas?
La verdad es que no hay una receta perfecta ni un momento oportuno para soltar la bomba L.
But there are some essential things that you should pay attention to that serve as rules and advice about when to tell your partner, “I love you”.
If you stick to them and if you’re being genuine and honest about your feelings, you will significantly increase your chances of doing so successfully and mutual reciprocity will be granted!
WHEN TO SAY, “I LOVE YOU,” FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A RELATIONSHIP
Tener al menos cinco citas
Lo más importante a la hora de soltar la bomba de la L es asegurarse de no hacerlo ni demasiado pronto ni demasiado tarde.
Too early would be the first one to four dates because you can’t really conectar tanto con tu pareja si acabas de verlos tres veces en tu vida o acabas de empezar a salir con ellos.
However, if you’ve been connected all the time via texting and you couldn’t go on dates like regular couples and now when you’ve spent some time with them in person you feel that your bond has become even stronger, then you know saying, “I love you,” is just the right thing to do.
Make sure that you’re really feeling it
Many people spend too much time thinking about when to say, “I love you,” instead of also thinking about how they feel about saying it.
If you just want to say it for the sake of declaring your love to your partner because you’ve been dating for a while now and because you think it is expected of you to say it, don’t do it.
Say it only if you’re one hundred percent sure that you’re really feeling it. Now you’re probably asking yourself: “But how can I be totally sure about it because no one can confirm it to me?”
Well, there’s one trick when it comes to this (that I found out a little bit too late) and that is: “If you don’t know why you love someone but you know that you love them, then you really love them.” (I guess it makes sense.)
Don’t wait too long and don’t overthink it
Igual que es importante no decirlo demasiado pronto, también lo es no esperar demasiado para decirlo.
La gente suele cometer este error por pensar demasiado y no estar segura de sus sentimientos.
They wait for the perfect moment to say it, only to realize that they’ve waited for too long.
La verdad es que cuanto más esperes, más le darás vueltas a las cosas y no harás más que dar vueltas en círculos durante una eternidad.
Once you’ve spent enough time with your partner and you feel that you should level up things, do not let your mind interfere with your decision all the time.
Don’t wait too long and don’t overthink it and everything will be just fine.
Wait until you’re bursting inside out to say it
Do you feel like you should say, “I love you,” but the feeling is not that strong within you? Do you feel like you could wait longer to say it?
If yes, then you should indeed wait because the best timing to say it is when you’re totally bursting inside out to declare your love to your partner.
Now, you’re probably wondering why. It is because love works on the principle of growth, like trees.
Cuando hagas crecer en tu interior el amor por tu pareja y esperes a que llegue a su cúspide, será más intenso y, por tanto, más efectivo y genuino.
Don’t do it before, during or after sex
One of the worst things you could do is say, “I love you,” before, during or after sex with your partner. Why?
When you’re about to haz el amor con tu pareja, your hormones go wild and you feel everything ten times more intense and that is why sometimes people tend to say those three words, even though in most cases they don’t really mean it.
Lo dicen porque sus hormonas se lo ordenan.
That is why you should never say it at that time and instead when you’re thinking rationally and when you’re not too intoxicated by their appearance or presence.
Asegúrate de que confías plenamente en tu pareja
¿Confía su vida a su pareja? ¿Te ha traicionado alguna vez tu pareja o te ha hecho dudar de su lealtad?
Before saying, “I love you,” you should always first make sure that you trust your partner completely.
La confianza es la base de relación sana y si te falta de alguna manera, entonces ni se te ocurra decirle esas tres palabras a tu pareja hasta que te asegures de que las cosas han cambiado.
Además, confiar en tu pareja significa no tener miedo de los posibles resultados cuando finalmente lo digas, porque no temerás si huirá por su vida o te hará sentir estúpido por ello.
Te sientes cómodo con tu pareja
Sentirse cómodo con alguien es un requisito previo para todo y, en especial, para tener éxito en las relaciones.
Si te sientes a gusto con tu pareja, significa que te sientes libre para ser quien realmente eres con ella.
You should never be something that you’re not when it comes to love.
If you’re sure that you can be one hundred percent yourself when hanging out with them, then it means your love for each other is genuine.
Y sólo entonces debes decir esas tres palabras.
You need to make sure that the feeling you have for your partner is not in any way fake because if it is, no matter how many times you say, “I love you,” to them, nothing will ever change.
Lo sientes en tus entrañas
You’ve probably heard a lot of times so far that you should always listen to your gut.
If you’re not sure about something, just listen to that little voice in your head telling you what the right thing to do is.
And in the majority of cases, this is true. If you feel something in your gut, it means that it’s real because you feel it in your soul.
Así que, si sientes que definitivamente debes decirles que les quieres, no te lo pienses demasiado.
Follow your heart and gut and I’m sure that everything will be just fine.
(Especially if you’ve already followed your gut before and convinced yourself of positive outcomes.)
Tu pareja ha confesado su amor con sus actos
Cuando se trata de amor, muchas personas se centran únicamente en las palabras, olvidando así pensar también en las acciones.
If you’re thinking about saying, “I love you,” to your partner first, first make sure that you’ve noticed little things that your partner does which mean their confession of their love to you.
Si siempre están ahí para ti, ayudándote con las cosas, asegurándose de te hacen sentir especial, surprising you and genuinely taking care of you, then you can be sure they love you but they probably haven’t gathered up the courage to admit it to you yet or they are just like you, waiting for the perfect moment to do it.
Don’t say it when you want to make up for something or reward your partner for something
Don’t use those three words as a reward for your partner or for making up to them when you fuck things up.
You don’t want to say, “I love you,” in those circumstances (believe me) and there are two major reasons why you definitely shouldn’t:
a) If you say, “I love you,” just to reward your partner for something nice they have done for you, then it means you’re probably not even feeling it but you’re just doing it for the sake of rewarding them.
b) If you say, “I love you,” just to make up for something you fucked up, it means your relationship is not healthy because there are other ways to apologize and make up for things instead of saying those three words; loving someone has nothing to do with being sorry for something.
If you’re not one hundred percent sure, don’t say it first
Aunque lo mejor siempre es esperar a que tu pareja lo diga primero, ésta no debe ser la norma.
Además, algunas personas piensan que los hombres son los que siempre deben declarar su amor primero, pero esto no es cierto en absoluto.
Love is not picky and it doesn’t have the ability to choose between genders.
We all feel insecure when it comes to dropping the L bomb for the first time and there shouldn’t be specific rules about it.
Especially if you’re not one hundred percent sure, there is nothing wrong with waiting a little bit longer and not saying it first, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman.
Escucha a tu mente y a tu cuerpo y haz lo que te parezca correcto.
Don’t say it when you’re overly emotional
Have you watched a sad or happy movie together, where the story ends with a ‘happily ever after’ and now you can’t help but want to declare your love to your partner as well?
While it may seem like the right thing to do on so many levels, please don’t do it when you’re overly emotional.
Las emociones pueden ser complicadas.
They have the ability to lift you up to the sky and down to the ground you in seconds and that is why you should be careful when it comes to saying, “I love you,” because you need to say it when you’re totally chill and not under other influences in your surroundings.
Dilo después de tu primera pelea o dos
I know it may seem weird to you but yes, you should say, “I love you,” after your first fight or two.
Deberías hacerlo porque las peleas son como probadores de lo fuerte que es realmente vuestro amor.
It is easy to love someone when everything is perfect in a relationship, when the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and you’re having a great time with each other.
Pero cuando llega la tormenta (y habrá muchas en vuestro futuro juntos), sólo sobrevive el amor más fuerte.
Sabes que quieres de verdad a tu pareja cuando sabes aceptar que no estás de acuerdo, cuando sabes respetar sus deseos y transigir.
Y es entonces cuando definitivamente debes diles que les quieres!
THE TOP 5 MOMENTS WHEN YOU DEFINITELY SHOULDN’T SAY, :I LOVE YOU,” TO YOUR PARTNER FOR THE FIRST TIME
Lo peor que te puede pasar cuando decides soltar la bomba L es que lo hagas en el momento y el espacio totalmente equivocados.
Your partner might feel the same way but if you do it in the wrong timing, you will ruin the whole, “I love you,” thing.
Apart from not saying it before, during or after sex, or when you’re overly emotional (as stated above), there are more rules for when you should definitely not say, “I love you,” to your partner for the first time!
Don’t say it when you’re drunk
When you indulge in plenty of alcohol, your body and mind start doing things you usually wouldn’t do when you’re sober, which means you should never, ever say that you love your partner for the first time when you’re drunk and you’re fighting to keep your balance.
If you do that, the chances are that you’re not even feeling it but the alcohol has forced you to say it or, maybe even worse, you are feeling it but despite that, the alcohol will ruin all the romance.
So, it is always better to keep your mouth shut when you’re loaded with alcohol so that you don’t regret your actions when you wake up tomorrow and realize what you’ve done.
Don’t say it at the first wedding you attend together
We all know that weddings can be really emotional and there isn’t a single soul who can be indifferent when it comes to watching dos personas que se casan y deciden compartir su cuerpo y su alma.
And no matter how hard it would be for you to endure the wedding ceremony without feeling the urge to admit your own feelings to your partner (to say, “I love you,”) just try to keep yourself from doing so because it is not the time or space for such doings and because you’re probably just overly emotional.
Don’t say it at dinner with your/their parents
If you say, “I love you,” to your partner while you’re at dinner with your or their parents, I can guarantee you that you will make them feel uncomfortable and, let’s say, ruin the dinner.
You should always say those three words first when you’re alone with your partner and not with your family around you because saying, “I love you,” is not the same thing as proposing or similar.
When you’re in a fight
Si alguna vez has tenido la tentación de utilizar esas tres palabras como chupete durante una pelea, no lo hagas.
Don’t say to your partner that you love them just because you want to stop fighting and make them feel better.
There are other, healthier ways to end the fight and saying, “I love you,” is definitely not one of them.
After they say it to you (if you’re not feeling the same yet)
If you’re really anxious about how to respond when your partner says that they love you but you don’t want to hurt their feelings, you should never say something that you don’t really mean.
Si lo haces, puedes herir sus sentimientos y empeorar aún más las cosas.
It is always better to say that you really like them but you simply cannot say yet that you love them, which doesn’t mean that you will not eventually be ready for it.
Sólo significa que necesitas más tiempo, porque no todas las personas experimentan el amor al mismo ritmo.
