When we first enter a relationship, we build bridges and we try to connect with our chosen person in every possible way we can. When we end a relationship, we burn those same bridges and we cut our ways to that person so we won’t have the temptation of reaching to our past.

You don’t want to go back, you don’t want to relive your past, and you don’t want him back. Que vuelvas con él es imposible. La determinación que tienes para no volver con tu ex y superarlo es digna de admiración, pero hay otra historia. Lo que la gente tiende a olvidar es que el proceso de superar a alguien está lleno de sentimientos y recuerdos.

El lado feo de superar al hombre que una vez amaste son todos esos recuerdos que compartes.

Regardless of how long your relationship lasted, there are memories that remind you that it happened. No matter how many bad moments there might have been, they don’t make those pretty ones vanish, and those nice memories you got are the biggest problem here. They keep coming to your door while you’re trying to cut all strings you have with your past.

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El lado feo de superar al hombre que una vez amaste son esos constantes recordatorios de lo que solíais significar el uno para el otro.

Everywhere you turn, there is a little part of him staring at you. Even if he’s not really present around you anymore, your mind and your heart make you feel like he’s there.

El lado feo de superar al hombre que una vez amaste es la lucha por deshacerte de los hábitos que desarrollaste durante tu relación.

You catch yourself often staring at your phone—with his name ready in your contacts—and you need just a small push to call him and tell him how your day went. You wake up and check your phone to see if there is a good morning message from him, and you have trouble falling asleep because you always waited for him to wish you goodnight before going to sleep. Those messages are never coming, but you still keep waiting from them unconsciously.

Véase también: Ways You’re Making Yourself F**king Hard To Get Over Him

El lado feo de superar al hombre que una vez amaste son todas esas preguntas que la gente te hace sobre él.

Since you broke up, you’ve been working your ass off to just continue your life, and you just wish to forget the feelings you had for him. But how could you do that when there are people constantly reminding you of what you had? How could you do that when people are constantly invading your privacy while they mirarte fijamente ¿esperando a ver algún signo de emociones que pueda revelar que aún sientes algo por él?

El lado feo de superar al hombre que una vez amaste son esas canciones que escuchabais juntos.

Sometimes, you wish to dance to the songs you two listened to together, but emotions keep you from doing that. Sometimes, you wish to play the song you really like, but you can’t because that song was playing when he first kissed you. And what about those songs that remind you of him? It’s better not to go there.

The ugly side of getting over the man you once loved is all those “what if” questions.

 

These are not questions other people ask you—‘what if’ is the type of question you keep asking yourself. What would happen if you had done something differently? What would happen if you called him? What if he still has feelings for me? What if he didn’t mean all those things he said? What if we had fought harder for what we had? The list of these questions is never ending and the ugliest part of it is you won’t get a single answer to any of them.

El lado feo de superar al hombre que una vez amaste es el tiempo.

You need time to get over him. You need to get used to the reality that he’s no longer around and that you can’t rely on him anymore. The ugly part is that the feelings don’t go away overnight. The good part is that the feelings go away with time—so you do get to move on.

Moving on and getting over the man you once loved will be the hardest thing you’ll have to do in life. But you have to wake up each morning and continue your life without him. It’s easier said than done, but let time heal your wounds. Allow yourself to be sad. Allow yourself to be angry and then allow yourself to let go. One day, you’ll wake up free.