It completely sucks when you keep choosing somebody who’d never chosen you. It sucks when you think ‘this is it’ and it turns out it isn’t. This keeps happening to me. I keep misreading people and I keep giving them roles in my life they can’t or they won’t play.

 

Cuando la elegiste a ella en vez de a mí, me enfadé mucho.

No dejaba de culparla por haberte alejado de mí. Lo feo es que nunca fuiste realmente mía, ¿verdad? Sólo te tomé prestada de alguien por un tiempo. Nunca ibas a ser mía para siempre.

 

When you chose her over me, I kept wondering what she has that I don’t.

The answer is nothing. She was just a fresh person in your life and that’s the only difference. She wasn’t better or prettier. She wasn’t smarter or funnier. There was nothing she did better than me, and yet, she was my replacement.

 

Cuando la elegiste a ella en vez de a mí, me dolió muchísimo.

It’s not just a phrase or a girly thing—it’s a human thing in fact. Rejection hurts. Knowing that somebody else has what was mine hurts. Knowing she gets to do the things I wanted to do with you, knowing she gets to visit places with you that I wanted, made me feel so jealous.

 

 

Cuando la elegiste a ella en vez de a mí, supuse que un tramposo sigue siendo un tramposo.

I know she’s not your last choice. I know there will be another girl after her and another and another. There is nothing wrong with girls that you choose—you’re a good sellout—but there is everything wrong with you.

You keep replacing girls like worn out socks and each of us thinks she’s different and this time you’re going to settle. But you won’t. Because you’re not that type. You’re all in until you get a girl and once you get her, you’re all out.

Véase también: Señales de que no está listo para comprometerse (pero tú no quieres verlo)

 

When you chose her over me, I hoped you’ll treat her better.

I sincerely wished for her a less broken heart than mine. I hoped you wouldn’t emotionally abuse her and that she wouldn’t stay emotionally damaged after you. I hoped she’d see your intention better than I did. I sincerely wished for her to be saved by somebody and I kind’ve hoped she’d do to you things you’re doing to all your girls.

 

Cuando la elegiste, me sentí aliviado.

Se me rompió el corazón, pero I was relieved that you’d left. I knew there is no more you and me and I knew there is no getting back together. I realized that all this trauma could’ve been easily escaped by one single step—walking away.

If you hadn’t walked away, I could’ve never done it.

I would’ve se quedó para siempre en esta relación miserable where I was constantly dragged down. I’d stay with somebody who’d never appreciated my efforts and who’d never loved me the way I deserved it. If you hadn’t walked away, I would’ve never known what a toxic relationship is and how it feels good to break free from it.

If you hadn’t chosen her, we’d be still together and I’d still be going through the hell only you dared to put me through. That’s why choosing her was the best thing you have ever done for me.

Ciao, adios, I’m done.