Mi mujer me odia: 10 razones y cómo cambiar las cosas

Problemas matrimoniales are one thing but thinking to yourself: ‘My wife hates me,’ está a otro nivel. Alguna vez te has parado a pensar qué te ha traído hasta aquí?

Después de tantos años de matrimonio, things don’t just fall apart on their own. Matrimonios felices turn sour for a multitude of reasons and I’m about to break it down for you step by step.

Su esposa quiere a man who’ll stick by her side no matter what. She wants a man who won’t mess with her autoestima y seguir llamándola hermano. There’s a certain line you just don’t cross.

I’m going to assume that you haven’t tried terapia matrimonial yet? If that’s the case, you need to hear this even more than you think.

Pasé por mis propios apuros con mi ex-maridoPor eso puedo explicárselo por experiencia.

Si quiere que su esposa sentir amado de nuevo y volver a ser uno de esos felizmente feliz matrimonios, stick around. You’re gonna wanna hear this.

Véase también: La diferencia entre el enamoramiento y el amor: 22 diferencias clave

10 Ways You Lost Your Wife’s Love

1. You don’t spend enough time with her

Y no, holgazanear en la misma habitación mientras cada uno se desplaza por redes sociales y escucha podcasts doesn’t count.

I’m talking about quality time together. I’m talking about taking her out dancing until the early hours of the morning. 

¿Cuándo fue la última vez que te tomaste tiempo para hacerla sentir especial? ¿Cuándo fue la última vez que iniciaste una actividad conjunta? Problemas de relación se deben a que uno o ambos miembros de la pareja no se esfuerzan.

¿Sabes que siempre dicen que el pequeñas cosas mean the most? Well, they ain’t lying! It takes so little to make her happy. 

En cuanto dejas de intentarlo, ella empieza a resentirse y a frustrarse. Y si te niegas a ir a terapia de pareja cuando ella lo sugiere, ¿qué se supone que debe pensar? 

In her mind, you just don’t care anymore. And bit by bit, she grows weary of that—hence the newfound budding hatred.

2. Le dejas a ella toda la toma de decisiones

¿Y sabes cómo la hace sentir eso? Como si tuviera que llevar los pantalones en la relación. Y déjame decirte, que puede llegar a ser agotador.

Se casó con un hombre adulto, no con un niño inmaduro, ¿verdad?

Por eso, cuando te niegas a participar en las decisiones importantes, ella siente que tiene que cargar con todo el peso. Siempre tiene que estar al mando, lo que deja muy poco espacio para la espontaneidad y la diversión. 

Sé que puedes pensar: Pero La amo, that’s why I leave all the decisions up to her. I know she’ll make the right call.

But that’s just an excuse that lets you off the hook and burdens her more than she deserves.

Your wife is a woman first and foremost. She’s not your mother and it’s not her job to take care of you. Start acting like a man or your marriage will go down the drain.

Llega un momento en que la gente se cansa demasiado de tener que estar siempre al pie del cañón. Tu mujer se merece soltarse la melena y que tú te ocupes de las cosas para variar.

3. You don’t stay true to your word

Al cabo de un tiempo, te acostumbraste tanto a la idea de tenerla a tu lado en las buenas y en las malas, que empezaste a darlo por sentado.

So what if you don’t keep your promises every now and again? So what if you disappoint her from time to time. She’s supposed to be okay with it because it’s her job, right?

I don’t think so! The moment you start thinking like that is the moment it all starts going to hell. 

Tienes que tratarla como trataste al primera vez you met her. You have to put in the effort to stay true to your word, even when you don’t feel like it.

Unless you do, you’re going to make her feel like she’s just not worthy of your time. 

And I know that’s not what you want! If you promise to take her out, then do it. If you promise to pick her up on the rainiest of days, get off your behind and do it!

Necesita saber que puede contar contigo siempre! If she can’t, how do you expect her to stay?

Véase también: Citas de venganza: 140+ Citas sobre la venganza que debes leer

4. Te falta dirección en la vida

You used to be full of hopes and dreams. There were so many boxes you couldn’t wait to check but somehow, none of it ended up happening. 

Te casaste, te estableciste y, día a día, dejaste de perseguir tus sueños. Ya no tienes dirección en la vida, y esto hace que tu esposa sentir como si tuviera que cargar contigo.

Clearly, this isn’t a pleasant feeling for either of you but making your esposa sentir like it’s her job to fulfill you isn’t fair.

Start taking charge of your life. Start doing something other than complaining and lounging around. You’re never going to reach your goals just sitting on your behind. 

Your lack of passion makes your wife resent you more and more each day. She can’t be the only one taking care of your little family. Chip in and start doing your part.

Find your calling and start being proactive. Your wife needs to know that you can be a good role model for your kids one day. And now, it doesn’t seem like that’s the case at all.

5. Dejaste de intentar conquistarla

Cada ser humano anhela sentirse amada y perseguida. No importa lo que te diga, créeme, quiere que le demuestres que te importa.

Quiere oír esas tres palabras lo más a menudo posible y necesita que la cortejen de vez en cuando. 

Don’t forget that marriage takes work every day of the week. You can’t just stop trying the moment you say, ”I do.” That’s when your journey starts and you should never take your foot off the pedal.

Llévala a citas románticas. Cómprale flores sin ningún motivo. Déjale una nota de amor en la chaqueta. Haz que se sienta especial.

Se necesita tan poco para poner una sonrisa genuina en su cara. Tu falta de intentos está empezando a afectarla mucho, por eso empezaste a sentir que tu esposa odia a ti.

Si quieres consejos sobre relacionesAquí está: Ama a tu mujer como la amaste en la fase de luna de miel y nunca dejes de demostrarle que te importa.

6. Pides mucho y das poco a cambio

El matrimonio es reciprocidad, pregúntale a consejeros matrimoniales. Si esperas algo de tu mujer, tienes que ser capaz de proporcionarle lo mismo y viceversa.

It’s about giving and taking but never one more than the other. 

Do you understand what I mean? My gut tells me that you’ve been taking a lot more than you’re ready to give. Does that sound familiar? Have you been taking advantage of your wife’s kindness lately? 

Have you been expecting her to move mountains for you but when she asks you to do the dishes, you can’t be bothered? I’m sure I don’t have to keep going. You get the gist.

So if you’re wondering why she started hating you, this may have been one of the reasons. You don’t give as much as you’re ready to take.

Your wife deserves all the care, attention and time she gives you. Don’t ever think otherwise. Do nice things without expecting anything in return. Give her 80% when she can’t give more than 20%.

That’s what marriage is. Balancing each other out without ever expecting to get something back.

Véase también: Citas sobre ser herido: más de 100 citas que te ayudarán a sobrellevar el dolor

7. You’re too flirtatious with other women

A woman needs her man to have eyes for her and only her. No, you can’t be all over other girls’ behinds and expect to get away with it. Why? Because it’s disrespectful to the woman you married.

Piénsalo así. ¿Cómo te sentirías si tu mujer se tirara encima de ese camarero buenorro? ¿Cómo te sentirías si la vieras mirando lujuriosamente a un extraño cualquiera? 

Not too good, right? Well, that’s exactly how she feels when you stare at every hot girl when you’re out for coffee. 

To you, it might be just innocent staring. But to her, it’s a sign that she’s not worthy of your attention. 

¿Cómo puedes esperar que ella esté de acuerdo con eso? ¿Cómo puedes esperar faltarle al respeto en público de esa manera y no hacerla sentir como una mierda?

Focus your attention on your wife and stop making her feel invisible. Otherwise, she’s going to make herself scarce!

8. Esperas que sea una ama de casa

Posiblemente sea una de las peores cosas que un hombre puede esperar de una mujer. Déjame educarte muy rápidamente.

First, she’s a woman with needs, interests and hobbies. Her sole purpose on this earth isn’t to provide you with love, food and care. She’s going to be a good wife but she’s also going to do things that make su feliz.

She’s going to go out with her best friends and have a wild night on the town. She’s going to take up a hobby she loves and dedicate a chunk of time to maintaining her salud mental. 

She’s going to do whatever the hell she wants, without letting anyone tell her she can’t. That includes you.

So think really hard about the way you treat her. Do you let her have her freedom or do you think we’re still in the discriminatory 1950s?

9. You don’t treat her family with respect

Your wife’s family (her mom, dad, siblings, etc.) is sacred. They are her rock and you should always keep that in mind. 

I understand that in-laws can be tricky but that shouldn’t mean you stop trying. If you love your wife, you should make sure to extend that love to her family and closest friends too. 

Sé un hombre más grande y llámalos primero. Invítalos a comer y esfuérzate por crear una relación más profunda con ellos.

You don’t have to see them every single day but making an effort every now and again shouldn’t be too hard.

The best way to show her you love her is by ensuring a loving relationship with her loved ones. You don’t have to be as thick as thieves; just close enough so that you can sit down for a meal and have a pleasant time.

I can tell you from experience that having your spouse and your family on the outs is extremely difficult so if there’s a possibility of a better relationship with them, seize it.

10. Priorizas a tus amigos sobre ella

Don’t get me wrong; maintaining a close relationship with your friends is an admirable thing! Especially as you get older. It becomes so difficult to remain close to the people you cherish.

However, while it’s nice that you still put your friends first after all this time, don’t you think your wife deserves the same? 

She’s your partner through life. She’s the one who listens to your worries and problems. She’s the one holding your hand as you’re struggling.

She’s the one waking up next to you each morning. So it should go without saying that she deserves to be at the very top of your list.

This doesn’t mean you should stop caring about your friends in no way, shape or form. All I’m trying to say is to make some room for your wife! She deserves your time more than anyone.

After all, you’re a grown-up. You should be able to have your priorities straight. She deserves que mucho.

Véase también: Todo Sucede Por Una Razón Citas: 58 inspiradoras palabras de sabiduría

10 pasos para recuperar su amor

Don’t worry, there’s hope for you yet. Being here means that you’re ready to put in the effort and show your wife there’s a reason she chose you. So here’s how you’ll do it.

1. Deja de deprimirla

Life is full of roadblocks and inconveniences. No matter how well it’s going for you, there will always be something to complain about.

This includes both life in general and married life. One day, you’ll be having a bad day and you’ll let your stress and anxiety get the better of you and react really poorly.

Pero la cuestión es que siempre puedes elegir cómo dejas que las cosas te afecten.

Puedes respirar hondo y darte cuenta de lo insignificante que es esto. pequeña cosa is in the great scheme of things and just shrug it off. Or you can choose to react the way your instincts dictate and affect your wife’s mood as well. 

Nothing can be perfect all the time. Things won’t always be exactly the way you want them to be every single day of the week. 

But life is about finding ways to see a glimmer of hope in a negative situation. It’s about finding little joys amidst a turbulent situation. 

Your wife deserves a man who won’t constantly bring her down. She needs a man who will lift her spirits and show her there’s always something to look forward to.

A man who won’t knock her down if things don’t always go to plan. 

¿Puedes ser ese hombre?

2. Estar ahí para levantarla cuando se caiga

A modern woman is all about self-confidence and power. She knows how to get what she wants and she doesn’t need a man to help her get there.

But the thing is, just because she doesn’t necesita a man, doesn’t mean she doesn’t desea ¡uno! ¿Ves la diferencia?

The key is to show her how proud you are of her perseverance and ability to make things happen for herself. But at the same time, you need to let her know that it’s okay to lean on you as well.

This doesn’t mean you think she can’t do it. This simply provides her with a safety blanket for when things become too challenging.

Be the wind beneath her wings and push her forward when she wants to give up. Give her a word of encouragement when she’s at the end of her strength.

Just because she’s a badass boss does not mean she doesn’t want a man by her side. Let her know you’ve got her back through good days and bad but don’t ever de perseguir sus sueños.

3. Trabajar los malos hábitos que le molestan

We all have bad habits and it’s impossible to expect anyone to just snap out of it and change for another person. But what you puede es intentarlo.

If there are currently a few things your wife resents, try to change them if they’re affecting your marriage so deeply. 

Puede referirse a tu pereza, a tu falta de consideración o a que la das por sentada. Elige y trabaja activamente para mejorar tu comportamiento. 

It’s not that difficult to be the kind of man your wife believed she was marrying. Simply be the guy she fell in love with all those years ago.

You cannot keep doing (or not doing) things that you know aren’t right and wonder why your esposa odia a ti.

She hates you because of your lack of will to be better. She hates you because you can’t be bothered to take out the trash while she has a million things on her plate.

Deja de quejarte y de buscar excusas para ser un mal marido. Tu esposa quiere an equal partner who won’t make her life more challenging than it already is.

I don’t think she’s asking for much, do you?

Véase también: ¿Cómo olvidar a alguien? 26 formas de acelerar el proceso

4. Be a masculine man (but don’t reduce her role in the process)

There’s been a lot of talk about female empowerment, equality and independence in the last few years. And rightfully so.

Durante mucho tiempo, las mujeres se vieron reducidas a una posición inferior a la de los hombres y se enfrentaron en silencio a muchas adversidades y muchas injusticias debido a su género.

It’s about time we took matters into our own hands and did something about it. There’s a long way to go but things are finally starting to look up.

Dicho esto, espero que entiendas que no te estoy animando en absoluto a actuar como el hombre siempre tan capaz que sólo necesita una mujer que le cuide y se ocupe de la casa. 

What I’m referring to is bringing out that masculine energy that makes her feel like a desirable woman. Be a man in a way where you show her how incredibly lucky you feel to be with her.

Llévate las cosas al dormitorio y enséñale todo lo que quieres hacerle. Por una vez, deja que ceda el control y complácela como se merece.

A woman needs to feel sexy and wanted. Just don’t cross a line in the process and you’re good to go.

5. Encuentra formas únicas de sorprenderla

What’s a better way to show her you’re still the man she fell for than surprising her with the things she loves most? 

Show her you know her better than she thinks and try to read her mind. No, I don’t mean actually read it, just try to think of something that’ll instantly put a smile on her face. Especially on a bad day!

Puede ser algo tan sencillo como regalarle una caja de bombones que adore, comprarle el ramo más bonito de sus rosas rojas favoritas u organizar una escapada de fin de semana a su lugar de vacaciones favorito.

This is the way to a woman’s heart. Little surprises mean so much! Allow her to see that there’s still hope for your marriage—and then some.

Sólo necesita pasar tiempo de calidad contigo para recuperar la chispa que perdisteis por el camino. Toma la iniciativa y sé ese hombre.

Don’t give up on her. Chase her, pursue her and love her every single day of the week. Be relentless and I promise you she’ll ease up on you in no time.

6. Acude a terapia matrimonial si tu mujer te lo pide

Si tu mujer se empeña en que vayas a terapia de pareja, that means that she still wants to fight for you; don’t you see that?

Está claro que ella quiere resolver vuestros problemas y hacer los ajustes necesarios para salvar vuestro matrimonio. Lo único que tienes que hacer es encontrarte con ella.

Cógele de la mano cuando entres en la consulta y escucha de verdad lo que tu terapeuta tiene que decirte. Escucha, matrimonios felices don’t just happen and stay that way without effort on both parts.

Debes regar tu relación a diario para que prospere.

Thinking: ‘Mi mujer me odia,’ then just shrugging it off isn’t going to help anyone. But do you know what will? Effort, commitment and persistence.

Yes, you’ve hit a bump in the road but you can overcome it. Simply open your mind enough to see how easy it can be to make a positive change.

Véase también: Citas de Amantes Secretos: 75+ Líneas Emocionales Sobre Una Vida Amorosa Secreta

7. Demostrar abundancia de fuerza emocional

Understand that your wife doesn’t have to stay with you if she’s not happy. We’re no longer living in times where getting a divorce is shameful. It’s no longer a taboo to move on from a marriage.

Today, a woman will do whatever she pleases without conforming to anyone’s needs so be mindful of that as you go on.

Las mujeres se sienten muy atraídas por los hombres con autoestimaLa fuerza de voluntad, el sentido de la determinación y la voluntad de triunfar, que forman parte de la fuerza emocional.

Being able to differentiate between things that deserve your attention and those that don’t is hot. Being self-confident but never too cocky is extremely desirable.

Demostrar ambición y perseguir tus sueños a pesar de los obstáculos a los que te enfrentas es más que admirable. 

Your wife needs a man who can check these boxes. A man who doesn’t get discouraged at the first sight of trouble. 

Don’t explode with anger and insecurities when things don’t go your way. Be an emotionally strong man she can always depend on.

8. Sugiere aficiones que podáis hacer en pareja

Crees que tu esposa odia a ti, ¿verdad? ¿Sabes cuál es la forma más fácil de conseguir que te vuelva a querer? ¡Hacer cosas juntos! Pero no cosas que usted sino algo que podáis disfrutar en pareja.

Think about your wife’s preferences. What does she enjoy most? When you get to the bottom of that, let it inspire you to develop new, mutual goals!

If life’s circumstances have affected you in a way that means you have grown apart over time, this could be your way to reconnect.

Find new things you want to achieve together and make sure it’s something that will result in both of you feeling happy, excited and positive.

This will allow you to gain more insight into your wife’s psyche and see what it is that truly makes her heart beat. 

If you genuinely care enough to salvage your marriage, you won’t take this lightly. This could be the turning point for your marriage. All you need to do is show her that you’re committed to being the man she fell for.

9. Haz lo que te pida sin quejarte

I’m going to take a wild guess here and assume that your wife takes care of most of the household chores. Am I right?

¿Se te ha ocurrido alguna vez que aparecer por ella (sin que ella tenga que rogarte) te otorga puntos matrimoniales? (Chocante, lo sé.)

Clear the table after you’re done with your meal. Wash the dishes before she gets to tell you to do it. Take out the trash. Pick up your clothes from the dry cleaner’s.

All of these things make her life substantially easier and you literally don’t have to do anything but just lend her a hand. Don’t complain when she asks you to do any of these things. Better yet—beat her to it! 

No puedo empezar a explicar lo mucho que significa cuando un hombre hace estas pequeñas cosas. Realmente significa mucho para tu matrimonio. 

As you know, a marital union doesn’t end just like that. It takes a while for things to fall apart and your inability to see this in time could result in divorce. 

Don’t let it get this far and take care of your wife and your marriage and be an equal partner to her.

10. Muéstrale cariño tanto en sus días buenos como en los malos

She won’t always be so easy to love. There will be days when all she’ll want to do is curl up in bed and be by herself.

Don’t let her feel alone during her times of need. Recognize when she’s not feeling like herself and be there for her. Tell her what she needs to hear, offer to do her chores or make her a hot meal.

Be the good husband she needs you to be. Tell her that you love her when she’s being difficult to love. Be kind to her when she’s being unkind to herself.

Realize that when she’s lashing out at you, it could be a reflection of her own issues that she’s not sharing. And tell her it’s okay. We all struggle but we all deserve to be loved regardless!

The secret to a good marriage is being there for your partner even when they’re pushing you away. Loving them even when they don’t love themselves. 

A marriage is about balancing each other out and being there just like you promised the day you said, ”I do.”

Put an end to thoughts like: ‘My wife hates me,’ and start acting in a way that will allow her to see you’re still the man of her dreams. 

If you really care as much as you think you do, you won’t take this lightly. 

Persíguela, quiérela y ten ojos sólo para ella. Al fin y al cabo, lo único que quiere es saber que te sigue importando.

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.” – Nicholas Sparks 

Véase también: Aprender a amar de nuevo: 12 maneras probadas de reabrir tu corazón