15 cosas que nunca debes hacer por un hombre por muy loca que estés por él
I once had a friend I literally couldn’t recognize after one year. If she passed by me on the street, I wouldn’t realize it was her unless someone told me. And we’ve been friends for years!
It’s not only her appearance that suddenly changed, but also her behavior, opinions, and values she considered really important. We would talk to each other and I would think to myself, who is this person?!
And no, she didn’t go through some major change in her life or decide she wanted to be a completely different person. She just had a crazy boyfriend. Yes, you heard that right.
El amor nos hace hacer cosas raras. Acabo de darme cuenta de que yo también me perdí por completo en una relación cuando estaba perdidamente enamorada.
Ahora, cuando miro atrás, Lamento muchas things I’ve done for him, but I’m not afraid to admit it. Figured I’d share my mistakes so at least you can learn from them.
Así que escúchame con atención. Usted nunca debe, y quiero decir NUNCA:
1. Cambia de aspecto
He thinks you should lose some weight or gain a couple of pounds? If you’re happy with yourself the way you are, then don’t change for him! Estas son las cosas que sólo deberías hacer por ti mismo para que te sientas bien.
Lo mismo ocurre con todo lo demás, desde la cabeza hasta los pies. ¿Le gusta el pelo largo y rubio? Entonces llévale a la peluquería y podrá hacerse el peinado que quiera, ¡él mismo!
2. Abandona a tus amigos
A real man knows you need to have lives outside of your relationship. Being together 24/7 is not good for anyone! If you leave all your friends, then who’ll listen to your drama novio/marido ¿y darte sesiones de terapia gratis?
Probablemente conoces a tus chicas desde hace más tiempo que él. Los amigos son una parte inevitable de nuestras vidas. They always support us and they’ve been there for us through our every relationship and heartbreak. Don’t leave them for a man you’re not even sure is the one.
3. Sacrifica tu bienestar
When you’re feeling good and healthy, you immediately have more energy to put into other things, like your relationship.
Tu bienestar debe ser siempre tu prioridad número uno y están por encima de cualquier otra cosa. Si pierdes la cordura o incluso la salud física, nada más importa.
You shouldn’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him. Your man needs to make your life easier, and always aim to make you feel happy, safe, and satisfied.
4. Conformarse con menos de lo que se merece
I think we’ve all been there – settling for some fast food place when in reality we wanted to dine in some fancy restaurant. Well, don’t do this when it comes to your partners!
Has he ever told you you’re too much to handle? If yes, the only right thing to do is que encuentre a alguien de su nivel. Y tú, cariño, deberías disparar a las estrellas.
Sometimes we desperately want to be loved, so much we’re ready to give up on our standards just so we’re not alone on a Friday night. But you and I both know this isn’t the right thing to do.
5. Comercia con tu libertad
Si fueras un pájaro, ¿cambiarías alguna vez tu libertad por una pequeña jaula? Por supuesto que no. Entonces, ¿por qué lo harías por un hombre?
Love shouldn’t feel like a federal prison. Un hombre de verdad nunca te impedirá vivir tu vidaexplorar tu pasión o hacer lo que te dé la gana.
The first time he tries to stop you from going out with your friends or wearing that dress you love…girl, just leave and don’t look back.
6. Permitir comportamientos violentos e irrespetuosos
Imagina que tu amiga viene a ti llorando, diciendo que su novio le levantó la mano o incluso sólo la voz. Sé que le dirías que hiciera las maletas y se fuera.
I don’t think we even need to explain this, but you should ¡nunca justifiques este comportamiento pase lo que pase! Esta es otra razón para tener amigos a los que llamar en mitad de la noche si es necesario.
Si alguna vez te encuentras en esta situación, corre por tu vida. Es la única decisión correcta.
7. Olvida quién eres
I’m definitely guilty of this. I remember myself being full of life with an adventurous spirit and ambitions through the roof before I met him. I loved him madly and he was scared of my potential, so I made myself smaller to fit into his mold.
God, I was so stupid. And the worst thing? It’s absolutely never worth the guy you’re doing this for. Sé siempre auténtico y fiel a ti mismo.
When you lose the things that make you who you are, it’s so easy to lose everything else without realizing it.
8. Deja tus aficiones
Have you always loved to silence the world while you’re painting or get your frustrations out by going to the gym? Well, what changed?
Nuestras aficiones y pasiones son lo que nos hace seguir adelante and bring happiness to our lives. We can’t throw everything away just because we are also committing our time to someone else.
The fact you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to become the same person. If he loves lazy Sundays and watching football, but you prefer to go out in nature, ¡hazlo tú, chica!
9. Renunciar a sus objetivos
¿Recuerdas tus sueños antes de conocerle? Querías licenciarte, viajar por el mundo y montar tu propio negocio. ¿Adivina qué? Aún puedes hacer todo lo que siempre soñaste.
You don’t have a child you have to dedicate 100% of your time, damn it. Although men sometimes do act like kids. But that’s a story for another time.
Un hombre de verdad te animará a perseguir tu pasión and he’ll be happy to support all your goals even if that’s not something he would do. But your life is your life only. Do what makes you happy!
10. Silencia tu voz
Don’t hold back your opinions just because he might not agree with you. A healthy relationship means you can agree to disagree and still love each other.
Tus opiniones importan y tus sentimientos son válidos. Nunca dejes que nadie te diga otra cosa. Y si lo hacen, bueno, ya sabes qué hacer.
Love can be a beautiful thing when you’re with the right person who loves you exactly as you are.
Eso que le molesta y que quiere que cambies, alguien lo busca en cada persona que conoce. Hay 8 mil millones de personas en el mundo, créeme, you’ll find someone who will appreciate every part of you.
11. Apologize for things that aren’t your fault
Look, we’ve all been there—saying “sorry” just to keep the peace. But if you start apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, it’s a slippery slope. Before you know it, you’re apologizing for having emotions, for needing support, for existing.
A man who truly loves you won’t make you feel guilty for expressing your feelings or having boundaries.
Tus sentimientos son tan válidos como los suyos, y una relación debe ser una calle de doble sentido, no un viaje de culpabilidad.
12. Poner excusas por su mal comportamiento
Oh, he’s just stressed. He had a tough childhood. He’s going through a lot right now. Sound familiar? I used to be the reina de la justificación del mal comportamiento, but at the end of the day, we’re all responsible for our own actions.
If he treats you poorly, that’s on him—not on his past, not on his job, not on you. The moment you find yourself constantly making excuses for him, take a step back and ask yourself: Would he do the same for you? Or would he just call you “too emotional”?
13. Cambia tus creencias para que coincidan con las suyas
One minute, you’re standing firm in what you believe in. The next, you’re nodding along to his opinions even though they make your stomach turn. No, chica. Simplemente no.
It’s okay to have different opinions, but it’s not okay to erase yours just to avoid conflict. If you have to reshape your entire belief system to keep him around, then he’s not with usted—he’s with a version of you that he created. And that’s not love.
14. Deja que controle tu dinero
This one’s tricky because relationships often involve shared expenses. But if he’s deciding what you should spend, how much you can save, or questioning every little purchase, that’s a red flag the size of a football field.
Your financial independence matters. Even if you’re in a relationship, you should always have control over your own money. You work hard for it, and no one gets to dictate how you use it.
15. Perder su independencia
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop being an individual. YTenías una vida antes de él, y deberías seguir teniendo una vida con él.
If he gets upset when you do things on your own—whether that’s taking a solo trip, making a big decision, or even just going out without him—he’s not looking for a partner, he’s looking for control. A man who truly loves you will celebrate your independence, not try to take it away.
