¿Y si nunca amo a nadie como te amé a ti?

When I think of you, somehow I manage to forget everything bad that happened between us. I’ve managed to forget all the pain you caused me and all the toxicity in our relationship.

Somehow, I’ve managed to forget all the tears I cried because of you and everything I went through in our relationship.

I don’t know how but with time, I’ve managed to forget your jealousy, your manipulations and your abuso emocional .

I’ve forgotten how you made me feel worthless and how you caused me to question myself and everything I was doing.

I’ve forgotten how you always blamed me for everything wrong in our relationship.

Cómo hiciste todo lo que estuvo en tu mano para hacerme sentir culpable y convencerme de que me merecía todo lo malo que me estaba pasando.

I’ve forgotten about all the times you insulted and belittled me and about all the times you made me feel bad about myself.

Somehow, I’ve even forgotten about the pain you put me through when you left me. I’ve even forgotten about the fact that you walked away from me. That you abandoned me and never looked back.

That you didn’t care about my feelings or how everything you did made me feel.

I’ve forgotten how you moved on with your life, as if I was never a part of it. How you didn’t think about me even for a second, about what would happen to me.

Sabes, tenía miedo.

I was petrified that I wouldn’t be able to function without you. I was certain that my life lost all of its meaning without you in it and that I would be lost all by myself.

I was scared that you’d forget all about me and that you would continue living your life as soon as you found another victim.

Y eso fue exactamente lo que ocurrió.

But somehow, I’ve survived.

De la misma manera que sobreviví a nuestro relación tóxica . Y del mismo modo sobreviví a que me dejaras, aunque pensé que eso me mataría.

I’ve survived almost all of my fears. Don’t get me wrong — it didn’t happen because I managed to overcome and outgrow them.

No, I’ve survived almost all of my fears related to you because they all came to life. And none of them killed me.

Pero quedaba el más fuerte.

You might find this funny but despite everything that happened between us, I only remember the beautiful things. Because let’s face it — we have some amazing memories.

Pero sobre todo, recuerdo cómo te quería.

Y mi mayor miedo está conectado exactamente con mi amor por ti.

You might find this funny too but I’ve never loved anyone else the way I loved you. I know this probably sounds like an empty phrase or a cliché but, sadly for me, it’s the only truth.

Years have passed since you and I were together but I’ve never grown to love anyone the way I loved you.

Don’t get me wrong — I am not telling you Todavía te quiero because I don’t think I do. I am just telling you that the love I felt for you can’t be compared with anything else I’ve experienced in my life.

Sé que las cosas no deberían ser así. Sé que el amor es la última emoción que debería conectarte. Sé que eres el último hombre que merece tener el título de la persona más amada de mi vida.

Pero eso no es algo que pueda controlar. Y no es algo que yo haya elegido.

Lo que temo es que nunca amaré a alguien como te amé a ti.

Tengo miedo de pasarme toda la vida recordándote y pensando en todo lo que pasó entre nosotros.

I am petrified that years will pass and that you’ll still be the man I loved the most.

Que compararé mis sentimientos por cada hombre en mi futuro con la forma en que te amé. Y que ningún amor por otro hombre se acercará jamás al amor que sentí por ti.

Que me casaré, tendré hijos y que envejeceré sin haber amado nunca a alguien como te amé a ti.

Tengo miedo de que sigas siendo para siempre la persona más importante de mi vida, mientras que tú ni siquiera pienses en mí.