5 rasgos que hacen que los chicos con problemas de compromiso permanezcan en una relación  

¿Alguna vez has amado al que parece ser alérgico al compromiso? Sí, todos lo hemos hecho. Pasé años tratando de averiguar cómo atraerlo y hacer que se quede. Sin embargo, siempre huía cuando había la más mínima posibilidad de una relación seria.

I know it can be incredibly frustrating when you really want him and you see he likes you too but he just can’t take that next big step.

Recurrí a entrenadores de citas y leí numerosos blogs en los que revelaban por qué los hombres dudan en comprometerse y qué les hace quedarse. Todos coincidían en que los hombres con problemas para comprometerse quieren una mujer que:

1. Evita dramas innecesarios

No one wants a relationship that’s like the most dramatic Spanish telenovela, right? El drama es un gran desvío para estos tipos.

Pongamos un ejemplo. Una vez se me estropeó el coche de camino a nuestra cita y, en lugar de asustarme, llamé a una grúa y me reí con él de este inconveniente. Me dijo que no le gustaría que yo entrara en pánico y me pusiera nerviosa.

Being with a woman who’s a drama queen and makes a problem out of every little thing is pretty exhausting. And annoying if we’re honest. Habla de cualquier problema que puedas tener y mantén la calma. He’ll appreciate that more than you think.

People who are unwilling to commit are often like that for a reason. Maybe they’ve been in a relationship that was nothing but arguments and stupid fights so now they’re scared of reliving that experience again. If you keep things peaceful and chill, he’ll stay around forever.

2. Crea un espacio seguro y comprende

Los hombres con problemas de compromiso arrastran mucho equipaje, ya sea de relaciones fracasadas o de su vida pasada e incluso de su infancia. Tienes que estar preparado y ser capaz de manejar todo el lío emocional que viene en un paquete con ellos.

You might be his first serious and healthy relationship so there’ll probably be a lot of work to do until he feels comfortable with you and lets his true personality shine. 

Crea una zona libre de juicios si quieres que se abra so he finally gets a sense that someone is willing to listen and understand him. You don’t need to be his psychologist, just give yourself time to build trust and that’ll be a huge step towards your commitment.

3. Disfruta de la vida y la mantiene interesante

Olvídate de la pereza y de pasarte el día viendo series de Netflix. ¡Levántate y explora el mundo!

Si quieres atraerlo, it’s time to think about being more spontaneous. Plan an unexpected trip away, do things out of your comfort zone, and apply for that cooking course you’ve always wanted! These men want something new every day, both unpredictable and fun!

Una vez fui a uno de esos eventos de vino y pintura con mi “hard to catch” date and mind you, I don’t even know how to hold a brush, let alone paint a whole picture! My attempt at painting definitely turned into something nowhere near artistic, unlike his work of art. But he found it funny and we had a great time!

By being adventurous and fun, you’ll always keep things interesting so he’ll want to stay and be part of your journey. Also, cada nueva experiencia es una excelente oportunidad para estrechar lazosy crear recuerdos que sólo pueden unirles más.

4. Goes with the flow and doesn’t stress

It’s the same as with unnecessary drama – they want peace. I know you really want to put a stamp on your relationship but slow down! There’s enough time and no need to rush that process.

Disfruta del viaje, deja que todo ocurra a su ritmo, and show him you’re not desperate. Constantly pushing him and adding additional pressure will scare him away. And that’s not something you want.

You want to be his calm place, someone he thinks about when he’s stressed and knows you’d calm him down just by being there. That’s why necesitas tener una energía relajada y créeme, si lo haces, nunca te dejará ir.

5. Tiene sus intereses y no es pegajosa

If there’s something men are scared of more than commitment, it’s having someone glued to them 24/7. They don’t want to be with someone who acts obsessively. Feeling required to please someone’s needs every millisecond is just tiring. 

When you have your own thing going on it makes you instantly more attractive to everyone! Why? Because you show your happiness and well-being don’t depend on someone else. You can enjoy a day without them and let them have their freedom without holding resentment.

I used to think I needed to leave everything behind when I got into a relationship and this wasn’t healthy at all. It just created unnecessary chaos in our lives because I wouldn’t let him breathe.

Tener tus propias aficiones e intereses también es bueno para ti. It can help you lead a fulfilled life and at the same time, it’ll take the pressure off him.

I think the universe works in mysterious ways. You’ll see that the moment you stop chasing something, it’ll come your way.

Besides this, it’s important to know that some people are just not destined for us and that’s okay. Maybe not having them as part of your life is actually good for you. 

By letting go of what’s not good for you, you’re making space for what is meant for you. However, these traits are good to have just in case!