7 errores tras la ruptura que empeoran las cosas

Pasar por una ruptura nunca es fácil, pero afrontarla de forma saludable puede hacer que el periodo posterior a la ruptura sea menos terrible.

Es cierto que casi nadie supera una ruptura a la perfección. La mayoría de las personas cometen al menos un error, lo que les lleva a sentirse aún peor.

Echa un vistazo a estos 7 errores más comunes tras una ruptura e intenta no cometerlos tú mismo.

1. Minimizar tus emociones tras la ruptura

Todo el mundo se siente mal después de separarse. Puede que pienses que estás demostrando ser fuerte y estable minimizando tus emociones, pero nadie espera que lo hagas.

It’s perfectly normal to feel sad – even devastated. Accept your emotions, they are valid. Burying them will only cause some serious passive-aggressive behavior on your side.

2. Buscar el cierre

Closure after a relationship can be perfectly healthy, but ending a relationship and then trying to immediately have the “closure talk” is just you wanting to spend more time with your ex. 

Todos conocemos esa sensación. Has roto y de repente te das cuenta de lo mucho que los echas de menos en tu vida diaria.

A part of you hopes that a long talk will help solve all of your problems and get back together, but that’s not what you need right now.

The time for closure talk will come – probably months or even years after the breakup – when you least expect it.

Don’t call them to have that talk. You’ll end up hurting yourself and possibly your ex even more.

3. Intentar ser amigos inmediatamente

Maybe you two can eventually go back to being friendly after you’ve completely moved on from your breakup, but right after ending a relationship is not the time to try to be friends.

Your emotions are still raw and everything is still way too fresh. All the pain inside of you won’t go away just like that. 

Let’s be honest. Your “friendly” relationship would be a disguise for getting to spend time with them and casually trying to make everything okay between you two.

It’s best if you have no contact with your ex for a while… If you’re meant to be friends, the time for that will come after you’ve resolved all of your emotions regarding your ex and the relationship.

4. Seguir adelante demasiado pronto

La mayoría de la gente dice que la mejor manera de superar una relación es empezar una nueva.

Looking for a rebound might make you feel like you’re getting over your ex very quickly, but in reality you’re just passing time until your huge breakdown.

Tómate un tiempo para pensar en todo lo que pasó entre tu ex y tú. Asegúrate de reflexionar sobre cuáles fueron tus errores en la relación para no volver a repetirlos.

Getting back on the horse after a split is a good thing, but don’t try to do it too quickly, otherwise you’ll end up hurting yourself more once your rebound relationship fails to fill your expectations.

5. Acoso en las redes sociales

Just yesterday you were posting a pic of you two sharing a bowl of spaghetti and today you’re sitting alone aggressively refreshing their profile, looking for something new and unexpected.

Parece como si tuvieras la necesidad compulsiva de comprobar todo lo que sale en sus cuentas de las redes sociales, pero esto no sólo hace que te obsesiones con tu ex, sino que además prolonga tu dolor.

Stop snooping around. Nothing good can come from it. Devote your time to something liberating and refreshing. Take a long bath, read a book, go out for a walk… Find a way to stop yourself from stalking your ex.

6. Venganza de planificación

Si tu ex pareja y tú terminasteis la relación en malos términos y te hizo daño intencionadamente, puede que estés pensando en encontrar una forma de devolverle el daño.

You might think that humiliating them or making them feel as broken as you feel right now will make you feel better, but it probably won’t.

Take the high road. Deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Talk to your best friend or even seek professional help if you can’t seem to get over whatever happened.

7. Constantly thinking about what could’ve been

If it could’ve been, it would’ve been. Honestly, stop dwelling on the idea you have in your mind about how perfectly things might have turned out between you and your ex. 

You obviously had issues you didn’t know how to solve.

Right after the breakup you’re going through a turmoil of emotions, which can sometimes make you forget how your relationship really looked like and see things in some new, idealized light.

Move on. The perfect scenario you have in your head is possible – just not with that exact person.