7 errori post-rottura che rendono le cose ancora peggiori
Affrontare una rottura non è mai facile, ma affrontarla in modo sano può rendere meno terribile il periodo successivo alla rottura.
Certo, quasi nessuno riesce ad affrontare perfettamente una rottura. La maggior parte delle persone commette almeno un errore, che le porta a sentirsi ancora peggio per tutta la situazione.
Date un'occhiata a questi 7 errori post-rottura più comuni e cercate di non commetterli anche voi.
1. Ridurre al minimo le emozioni post-rottura
Tutti si sentono male dopo una separazione. Potreste pensare di dimostrare di essere forti e stabili minimizzando le vostre emozioni, ma nessuno si aspetta che lo facciate.
It’s perfectly normal to feel sad – even devastated. Accept your emotions, they are valid. Burying them will only cause some serious passive-aggressive behavior on your side.
2. Cercare la chiusura
Closure after a relationship can be perfectly healthy, but ending a relationship and then trying to immediately have the “closure talk” is just you wanting to spend more time with your ex.
Conosciamo tutti la sensazione. Vi siete lasciati e improvvisamente vi siete resi conto di quanto vi manchino nella vita di tutti i giorni.
A part of you hopes that a long talk will help solve all of your problems and get back together, but that’s not what you need right now.
The time for closure talk will come – probably months or even years after the breakup – when you least expect it.
Don’t call them to have that talk. You’ll end up hurting yourself and possibly your ex even more.
3. Cercare di essere immediatamente amici
Maybe you two can eventually go back to being friendly after you’ve completely moved on from your breakup, but right after ending a relationship is not the time to try to be friends.
Your emotions are still raw and everything is still way too fresh. All the pain inside of you won’t go away just like that.
Let’s be honest. Your “friendly” relationship would be a disguise for getting to spend time with them and casually trying to make everything okay between you two.
It’s best if you have no contact with your ex for a while… If you’re meant to be friends, the time for that will come after you’ve resolved all of your emotions regarding your ex and the relationship.
4. Passare oltre troppo presto
La maggior parte delle persone dice che il modo migliore per superare una relazione è iniziarne una nuova.
Looking for a rebound might make you feel like you’re getting over your ex very quickly, but in reality you’re just passing time until your huge breakdown.
Prendetevi del tempo per pensare a tutto ciò che è successo tra voi e il vostro ex. Assicuratevi di riflettere su quali sono stati i vostri errori nella relazione, per non ripeterli mai più.
Getting back on the horse after a split is a good thing, but don’t try to do it too quickly, otherwise you’ll end up hurting yourself more once your rebound relationship fails to fill your expectations.
5. Stalking sui social media
Just yesterday you were posting a pic of you two sharing a bowl of spaghetti and today you’re sitting alone aggressively refreshing their profile, looking for something new and unexpected.
Si ha la sensazione di avere l'impulso compulsivo di controllare tutto ciò che esce sui loro account di social media, ma questo non solo vi rende ossessionati dal vostro ex, ma prolunga anche il vostro dolore.
Stop snooping around. Nothing good can come from it. Devote your time to something liberating and refreshing. Take a long bath, read a book, go out for a walk… Find a way to stop yourself from stalking your ex.
6. Vendetta di pianificazione
Se la vostra relazione con l'ex partner è finita in cattivi rapporti e lui vi ha ferito intenzionalmente, potreste pensare di trovare un modo per ferirlo a vostra volta.
You might think that humiliating them or making them feel as broken as you feel right now will make you feel better, but it probably won’t.
Take the high road. Deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Talk to your best friend or even seek professional help if you can’t seem to get over whatever happened.
7. Constantly thinking about what could’ve been
If it could’ve been, it would’ve been. Honestly, stop dwelling on the idea you have in your mind about how perfectly things might have turned out between you and your ex.
You obviously had issues you didn’t know how to solve.
Right after the breakup you’re going through a turmoil of emotions, which can sometimes make you forget how your relationship really looked like and see things in some new, idealized light.
Move on. The perfect scenario you have in your head is possible – just not with that exact person.
