Si tu día con tu pareja se parece a esto, tu relación está en terreno pedregoso
Have you ever woken up next to your partner but felt like you were miles away? You’ve been together for quite some time but something’s missing.
Esto es un escenario que todos temenpero, por desgracia, mucha gente lo reconoce y lo entiende demasiado bien.
Las relaciones que antes estaban llenas de deseo y de un amor fuerte a veces pueden convertirse en algo completamente distinto. Yo también me he sentido alguna vez vivir con un extraño bajo el mismo techo y no un hombre con el que pasé años y compartí todo.
Psicoterapeuta y experta en relaciones, Deborah Krevalin (@debkrevalincounseling) arroja luz sobre este tema en su TikTok y describió cómo suelen ser estas relaciones. Si esto te resulta familiar, puede que haya llegado el momento de tener una conversación seria sobre el futuro con tu pareja.
“A day in the life of an unhappy couple”
When you’re truly in love and satisfied with your partner, each day looks like the first time you felt butterflies in your stomach. You can’t wait to open your eyes in the morning and see them, or to hear about their day when they get back from work.
Disfrutas sinceramente de su compañía y nunca te cansas de ellos. Cada día es una nueva y emocionante aventura.
Sin embargo, cuando las personas son infelices juntas, las cosas son un poco diferentes. Pierden la chispa que una vez tuvieron y dejan casi por completo de interesarse el uno por el otro. Deborah describió cómo suele ser un día para esas parejas:
“They wake up and maybe they say ‘good morning’, at best. They do their own things, they get ready for the day, and possibly the partner who leaves first says, ‘See you later, I’m leaving’, maybe ‘have a good day.’”
Some people wouldn’t assume this is problematic but Los problemas a menudo se esconden en esas pequeñas cosas, como simplemente no saludarse o reconocerse.
Mi ex solía mostrarme siempre afecto por la mañana, besarme y acurrucarse conmigo todos los días antes de irse a trabajar. Al cabo de un tiempo, empezó a actuar exactamente como ella describía.
Pasar de amantes a extraños
It doesn’t just end with forgetting you’re not living alone, but also falta de comunicación y de tiempo de calidad juntos.
El psicoterapeuta también añadió:
“There’s no contact during the day, there’s no ‘What are we doing for dinner?’, nothing like that. You don’t know when the partner is coming home, you guys just sort of arrive when you arrive.”
When relationships come to this stage it’s clear something’s not right. Couples tend to get more distant each day and if they don’t put an end to it, rompen o se convierten en completos extraños, simplemente coexistiendo en el mismo espacio.
Leaving isn’t always the best option, although it might be the easiest for some. If you’re ready to fight for your love, there’s nothing an honest conversation and a bit of work on your relationship can’t solve.
Deborah also mentioned that another hallmark of unhappy couples is that they don’t even spend time together even if they live under the same roof. She said:
“Then usually during the night you’re reading or watching TV, probably not in the same room, and then you go to bed and rinse and repeat. “
Por desgracia, esta es la triste realidad de muchas parejas hoy en día. While some recognize this toxic pattern and want to fix it, others simply accept their destiny and stay with their partners because they already become comfortable and don’t want to cause drama.
Of course, that can’t lead to anything good and it’s just a matter of time when things will escalate since you can only live in that environment for some time before losing your sanity. One woman said this was her reality once and it didn’t end well:
“Been there, he didn’t wanna go for a walk, a hike, out to eat, play pool, go watch a sunset. ANYTHING. I was bored, sad, and miserable.”
What’s interesting is that not all people agree this is a miserable life. Some say they live like that and don’t find anything wrong with itmientras que otros preferirían estar solos que en ese tipo de relación.
I don’t think this is a healthy way to live with someone, but I guess cada uno tiene sus preferencias. Maybe some people aren’t keen on affection or need more time alone because they’re introverted, so this lifestyle suits them. Who knows!
Either way, openly discussing your relationship and how would you like things to go is always a good idea. In this way, we can avoid having uncomfortable moments and making the other side feel like they’re neglected.
Every problem can be solved so don’t give up right away! Tu relación puede florecer como antes if you’re willing to make it work!
