15 segni di una relazione queer-platonica

“A queerplatonic (or quasiplatonic – QPP) relationship is a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection (platonic) beyond what most people consider friendship.”

Summarized, a queerplatonic relationship (QPR) is an intimate and intense relationship that doesn’t have characteristics of either a friendship or a romantic relationship.

È uno dei legami più speciali e forti che si possano sperimentare nel corso della vita.

Such a relationship is asexual but it also breaks the conventions of ‘solo amici’ and even if there was the possibility of sensual tension between the two, neither would ever act on it because it just seems wrong.

Being in a queerplatonic relationship means being with someone who completes you on so many levels (that you didn’t know even existed), which is simply incomparable with what you might have shared so far with your romantic partner in a romantic type of relationship.

Com'è una relazione queerplatonica?

There are only a few words which can explain the feeling after you enter a queerplatonic partnership and those are…

You feel like you’ve known each other for years and you can’t imagine your life without your queerplatonic partner!

Sono come una sorta di anima gemella per voi, una fiamma gemella asessuata e probabilmente non li guarderete mai in modo passionale perché la vostra relazione è molto più di questo!

Both of you have sworn an emotional commitment and platonic love to one another. You’re best friends with non-romantic intentions.

You understand each other’s fears and emotions and sometimes you know what they are thinking without even asking them. You’ve formed a perfect queerplatonic partnership.

While to outsiders, a queerplatonic relationship might seem confusing (because people have this tendency to always believe that there’s something more romantic going on), this doesn’t mean that you should immediately give up on this special connection you have with each other.

If you choose to take part in romantic or non-romantic relationships, that’s your decision and no one else’s.

We’re living in the 21st century and every person has the right to make a choice of their own, so why should you make excuses for having an aromantic relationship which is both romantic and aromantic at the same time?

I know, it sounds pretty confusing but it’s real.

Le relazioni queerplatoniche dipendono dall'orientamento romantico?

Le relazioni queerplatoniche, note anche come quasiplatoniche, non hanno confini o restrizioni.

Those kinds of relationships don’t look at sexual orientation and they don’t respect any so-called romantic norms. These relationships are spontaneous and pure-hearted.

L'unica cosa importante è la presenza di un legame emotivo e di affetto fisico.

Queerplatonic relationships don’t depend on polygamy or monogamy either, which brings us to the mention of queerplatonic marriage.

Regardless of whether a marriage is in the form of an intimate relationship or it’s an asexual community, these people are perfectly capable to raise children and form a healthy community.

A healthy marriage doesn’t depend on romantic attraction, cuddling, holding hands or kissing in public.

Alla fine, il matrimonio si basa sulla fiducia reciproca, sulla comunicazione e sul rispetto. Immaginatevi di essere sposati con una persona che ha tutte le  qualità di un migliore amico.

Remember that sharing a queerplatonic relationship with someone is a truly rare and amazing thing to experience and if you’re wondering if you’re in one now, check the following 15 signs that your friend or bestie is so much more than that!

15 definite signs you’re in a queerplatonic relationship

You’re excited about spending time with them

You can’t think of a single time you said yes to their plans and didn’t feel like it.

Even if you don’t feel like clubbing, you’re still excited about spending time with them because you just know that your day will get so much better the moment you see them.

When we talk about queerplatonic relationships, you don’t need romantic love to be able to feel the excitement before meeting the person you like.

Because of your special bond, you even make sure to make time especially for them and if there isn’t any time, you cancel other plans for them.

Spesso ci si chiede se sia stato troppo

When you’re together, everything feels so natural and normal.

 Condividete i vostri pensieri più profondi e paure anche nelle prime fasi dell'amicizia, perché è giusto così.

When you’re with your person, you have a feeling that you’ve found a life partner regardless of whether you are a romantic couple or not.

But once you’re on your own, you wonder if that was a little bit too much to share.

Ti capiscono quando nessun altro lo fa

Tra tutti i tipi di relazione, questo è quello che ha più comprensione.

When everyone else is looking at you like you’re crazy, they seem to get you.

You’re so connected that there are no boundaries between the two of you and sometimes it feels like you can read each other’s minds.

There’s no awkward silence – ever

It’s like you can spend hours talking and the moment you separate, you remember something you forgot to tell them.

You have so much in common and you share so many things you’re passionate about that you can discuss them for ages.

And you feel so comfortable with each other that it just feels good to tell them everything that’s on your mind, no matter how stupid, scary or messed up it sounds.

Il silenzio totale o la mancanza di parole non è un problema in questa comunità aromantica perché non si sente mai quel silenzio scomodo.

It’s impossible to feel it when you’re with someone you’d trust your life with.

They get you and you’re not afraid to speak your mind because you know they won’t judge you.

You complete each other’s sentences

Sometimes it freaks you out and sometimes it just feels amazing to have someone who’s always on the same page with you.

They know exactly what you mean at all times and you even find yourself finishing each other’s sentences.

Agli occhi degli estranei, sembra che abbiate sviluppato un linguaggio proprio, perché parlate velocemente e senza ulteriori spiegazioni, perché sapete semplicemente cosa sta pensando l'altro in quel momento.

Spero che ora capiate che anche l'asessualità e le relazioni platoniche possono creare relazioni significative.

It’s not all about getting into bed with somene and physical contact.

There’s slight jealousy when they’re talking about another friend

There’s nothing more painful for a queerplatonic relationship than a third person.

Questo è il punto più vulnerabile di ogni relazione, compresa questa.

It’s not like you don’t want them to have any other friends besides you, it’s just that you don’t want them to talk about them in front of you.

Ci si sente speciali e quando si parla di qualcun altro, questa sensazione svanisce per un po'.

But don’t worry, this one goes both ways. They’re geloso quando si parla di qualcun altro anche.

After all, a small dose of jealousy hasn’t harmed anyone so far.

Con loro ci si sente completi

Cerchiamo per tutta la vita qualcuno che ci renda completi, qualcuno che ci faccia sentire l'altra metà di noi stessi.

And you can feel just that with them, in a way you can’t even feel with your own significant other.

That’s not a sign that your relationship with your partner is not good enough or that there’s something wrong with it.

Consideratela una benedizione perché avete trovato qualcosa che molti di noi stanno ancora cercando.

Altre persone esprimono i propri sospetti sulla vostra relazione

They either tell you that it’s unhealthy to be that close to someone or that there’s something more going on than friendship.

They may call you out for having a crush on each other or for ‘hiding your true emotions’.

That’s because most people don’t understand the kind of bond you share, simply because of its rarity.

Seguite un consiglio: ignorate quello che vi dicono tutti e seguite il vostro istinto. Se volete le coccole, allora fatele.

Se volete solo parlare, allora parlate. Fate quello che vi dice il cuore.

Quando si vede il loro nome sullo schermo, ci si emoziona...

You feel like a little schoolgirl when you see that they texted you or they’re calling you.

You are eager to see what news they have to share with you, whether it’s maybe something new you can do together or something new that happened to them since the last time you talked (and that was like, minutes ago).

It’s almost like you have a crush but then it’s not.

They already know how you feel, so there’s no need for you to explain

Invece di cercare le parole giuste, il modo migliore per esprimere ciò che si prova, loro lo sanno già.

È così bello avere qualcuno che sa come ci si sente, senza nemmeno dire una parola.

And even when you’re confused and you’re not sure how you feel about something, when they put it into words, it makes sense instantly.

Everything seems better when you’re with them

Everything seems less scary and you feel like you can conquer the world when you’re together.

When you’re down, they pull you up. When you’re happy, they’re happy with you.

You don’t need expensive restaurants, clubs or pints of ice cream. You don’t need vacations or expensive trips.

Hai solo bisogno della tua migliore amica per rendere tutto migliore e stare semplicemente al tuo fianco.

When something happens, they’re the first person who comes to mind

Whether it’s a bad or good thing, they’re the first person you think of when something happens to you.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad, you just want them nearby to share the news.

If they’re not there, you’re constantly thinking about how they would have enjoyed it, how you wished they were there.

You’re so close that you simply know how they think and what things they enjoy.

Soprannomi strani

Le relazioni queerplatoniche si basano su soprannomi strani che ci si dà reciprocamente.

Whether you’re still in high school or in your late 40s, it’s a way to tell everyone ‘we’re together’.

Those nicknames mean something to both of you but to everyone else they’re just, well, weird.

For example, you’ve probably called each other a zucchini or a squish. Trust me, it gets even weirder.

Vi vestite allo stesso modo senza nemmeno provarci

It’s like you read each other’s minds, as you dress alike without even telling each other what you’re going to wear.

Condividete gli stessi gusti in fatto di vestiti, musica e praticamente tutto il resto, era solo questione di tempo quando avreste iniziato a vestirvi allo stesso modo.

Vi piacete così tanto che inconsciamente comprate cose che ve lo ricordano, il che porta ad avere un guardaroba quasi identico a quello dell'altro.

Sanno di cosa avete bisogno anche meglio di voi.

Whether it’s walking around all day, clubbing all night or simply sharing silence, they know what you need at that moment, even when you don’t know it yourself.

That’s why it just feels so good to be in a queerplatonic relationship because you make each other happy so naturally and without any fuss.

Vi rendete felici a vicenda perché questo rende felice anche voi.