Let’s have a heart-to-heart about some things we often feel pressured to do in our marriages. It’s essential to recognize that being in a loving relationship shouldn’t mean losing yourself or doing things against your will.
There are some aspects of life where women, unfortunately, feel compelled to act or behave in certain ways just to keep their husbands happy. But hey, you deserve to live authentically and comfortably in your own skin!
1. Change Appearance
First things first, let’s talk about appearance. Ever felt the need to change how you look just to fit someone else’s ideal? Well, you’re not alone. Many women feel this pressure, whether it’s about losing weight, altering hairstyles, or dressing a certain way. But darling, your body, your rules! Embrace your unique beauty and express yourself in a way that makes you feel fabulous—that’s the real glow.
When I was younger, I thought I had to wear a certain type of dress to impress my boyfriend-now-husband. Looking back, it was simply exhausting trying to be someone else. The freedom to dress up for myself is unparalleled. So whether you love dressing to the nines or adore your comfy jeans, it’s all about what makes you happy.
Remember, beauty is subjective, and the most appealing thing you can wear is confidence. So, let your inner light shine brightly, and whoever truly loves you will appreciate you just the way you are—imperfections and all. There’s something incredibly empowering about not succumbing to societal standards.
2. Cook Every Meal
Let’s chat about kitchen duties. Are you the designated chef in the house? While cooking can be a delightful art, it shouldn’t become a mandatory chore because you wear the ‘wife’ hat. We often fall into the trap of feeling like it’s our sole responsibility to whip up every meal, but let’s be real—everyone appreciates a partner who cooks!
I remember the first few months of marriage, I was convinced I had to have a three-course meal ready every evening. Guess what? It quickly became overwhelming. Now, my husband and I split the cooking duties, and it’s a game-changer. We even discovered a love for experimenting with new recipes together, making it a fun bonding activity.
Ladies, it’s perfectly fine to order takeout or have your partner take charge of dinner prep. Sharing responsibilities not only lightens the load but also strengthens the relationship. Plus, there’s no rulebook that says you must be the family chef. Let’s normalize equal participation in the kitchen so everyone gets to enjoy both the cooking and the eating.
3. Have Kids
Ah, the big one—kids. Having children is a monumental decision, and it shouldn’t be undertaken due to external pressures. Not every woman dreams of motherhood, and that’s perfectly okay. The choice to have or not have children is deeply personal and should be respected as such.
Whether you envision a future bustling with kids or prefer a child-free life, own that choice confidently. Life is full of fulfilling paths, and not all of them involve diapers and school runs. Remember, your worth is not defined by your parental status, but by the love and joy you bring into the world in whatever form that takes.
4. Give Up Career
Let’s get one thing straight—your career is part of who you are, and giving it up should never be seen as a default expectation. For some, work isn’t just about earning a paycheck; it’s a source of identity, achievement, and pride. Stepping back should be your choice, not a sacrifice made to fit someone else’s narrative.
In the early stages of my marriage, I felt torn between climbing the corporate ladder and being a ‘good wife.’ Society often paints this picture that you can’t have both, but guess what? You absolutely can! It’s about setting boundaries and finding what works for you and your partner.
If your career brings you joy and purpose, hold onto it fiercely. It’s possible to balance a thriving professional life and a nurturing personal life without compromising either. The key is communication and mutual respect. Let your aspirations soar, and remember, a supportive partner will cheer you on every step of the way.
5. Agree with Everything
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should become an echo of your partner. Having your own opinions, beliefs, and values is healthy and essential. Agreeing with everything your husband says just to maintain peace is not a sustainable or honest way to live.
I used to nod along to avoid arguments, thinking it was the way to keep things smooth. But over time, I realized that it’s okay to have different perspectives. It’s these differences that make conversations interesting and relationships dynamic. Embracing debates has led to some of the most insightful discussions with my husband.
Your voice matters, and sharing it adds depth to your relationship. Disagreeing doesn’t mean discord; it means growth and understanding. So go ahead, share your thoughts, and stand firm in your beliefs. The right partner will value and respect your viewpoint, even when it differs from theirs.
6. Handle All Finances
Handling the finances can feel like steering a ship through uncharted waters. While it’s great to be financially savvy, it doesn’t mean you should shoulder all the financial responsibilities unless you genuinely want to. Money matters should be a team effort, bringing transparency and mutual respect into the equation.
Early in our marriage, I took on the role of financial manager. At first, it seemed like a manageable task, but soon enough, it felt like I was navigating alone. Now, my husband and I sit down regularly to review our finances together, making decisions that align with both our goals.
Ladies, don’t hesitate to ask for help or share the financial tasks. Discussing and planning together not only eases the burden but also fosters trust and unity. Financial health is a joint responsibility and should reflect the shared aspirations and security of both partners. Teamwork truly makes the financial dream work!
7. Host Every Event
Hosting events can be a delightful way to connect with loved ones, but it shouldn’t fall solely on your shoulders. Just because you have a talent for throwing great parties doesn’t mean you should manage every detail every time. Balance is key, and it’s perfectly alright to share these responsibilities.
I used to feel it was my duty to ensure every family gathering was perfect. But soon I realized it was okay to delegate and sometimes even step back entirely. My husband and I now co-host, and our friends pitch in, making parties more enjoyable and less stressful.
Remember, the essence of gatherings is the togetherness, not the perfection of the event. So don’t hesitate to ask for help or suggest switching roles occasionally. Balance brings joy, and a shared hosting experience can be much more fulfilling and fun. After all, it’s the laughter and memories that count the most.
8. Adopt Family Traditions
Family traditions can be heartwarming, but they shouldn’t feel like shackles. It’s lovely to honor traditions, yet it’s equally vital to create new ones that resonate with you both. Feeling obligated to uphold traditions that don’t align with your values or lifestyle can lead to unnecessary stress.
In my family, we had a holiday tradition that didn’t quite fit my husband’s lifestyle. Initially, I felt compelled to continue it, but eventually, we created a new tradition that blends elements from both our backgrounds. It’s become a cherished custom we both look forward to each year.
Traditions should evolve with you as a couple, and it’s okay to forge your own path. Celebrate the past, but don’t let it dictate the present. Crafting new traditions enriches your relationship and makes the celebrations uniquely yours. Embrace the freedom to celebrate in ways that reflect your shared journey.
9. Be Always Available
Everyone deserves personal time, and being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be available 24/7. It’s important to carve out time for yourself, to recharge and pursue personal interests without feeling guilty.
When I first got married, I felt the need to be constantly available for my husband, thinking it showed love and commitment. But over time, I realized the importance of ‘me time’ and how it rejuvenates my spirit. Now, we both prioritize personal space, understanding that it enriches our time together.
Ladies, cherish your solitude and hobbies. It’s essential for personal growth and maintaining a healthy relationship. A little absence can indeed make the heart grow fonder, and returning to your partner refreshed and fulfilled can bring new energy to your bond. Embrace your time alone—it’s a beautiful gift.
10. Attend Every Family Gathering
Family gatherings can be wonderful opportunities to connect, but attending every single one shouldn’t become an obligation. Sometimes, you just need a break, and that’s perfectly okay. Relationships thrive when both partners feel free to make choices without pressure.
Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings. It’s essential to find a balance that keeps both of you happy. Remember, it’s not the frequency of attendance that matters, but the quality of the time spent together.
11. Compromise too Much
Compromise is part of any relationship, but over-compromising can lead to losing oneself. It’s important to maintain a balance where both partners’ needs and preferences are respected. Don’t feel pressured to always be the one bending; it’s a two-way street.
Ensure that compromises don’t become sacrifices. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, where both individuals feel valued. Stand your ground, and remember that loving someone doesn’t mean always saying yes. Balance and equality are the cornerstones of enduring partnerships.
12. Be the Family Therapist
Being empathetic and supportive is wonderful, but you shouldn’t feel like the unpaid family therapist. It’s crucial to set boundaries to protect your mental health while being there for others. You are not solely responsible for everyone’s emotional well-being.
Encourage seeking professional help when needed, and focus on maintaining your emotional health. Being supportive doesn’t mean sacrificing your own peace. Boundaries are essential for a balanced and healthy relationship.
13. Always Present a Perfect Home
The idea of maintaining a picture-perfect home can be daunting. Life is messy, and homes reflect that reality. Don’t feel pressured to keep every corner immaculate at all times—perfection is not a prerequisite for a happy home.
In the past, I’d stress over every little mess, thinking it reflected poorly on me. But life happens, and homes are meant for living, not just for show. Now, I embrace the imperfections, understanding that a little clutter is a sign of life and love.
It’s the laughter and memories that fill a house with warmth, not spotless surfaces. A lived-in home is a happy home, so let go of the pressure and enjoy your beautiful chaos.
14. Sacrifice Personal Dreams
Your dreams and aspirations are vital to your identity, and they deserve to be pursued with fervor. Don’t abandon your ambitions just because you’ve entered a partnership. A healthy relationship should support and nurture your dreams, not stifle them.
Remember, your aspirations are important. A supportive partner will encourage and celebrate your achievements alongside theirs. Hold onto your dreams and pursue them with all your heart. They are part of what makes you unique and vibrant. Never doubt their worth.
15. Conform to Gender Roles
Traditional gender roles can feel like invisible chains, but it’s time to break free from outdated expectations. Each relationship is unique, and roles should be defined by mutual preferences and strengths, not societal norms.
Challenge the norms and create a partnership that reflects your values and lifestyle. Equality and shared responsibilities foster a harmonious and dynamic relationship. There’s no one-size-fits-all, so feel confident in crafting your unique path together, free from traditional constraints.
16. Be the Sole Nurturer
Parenting is a shared journey, and the nurturing role shouldn’t fall solely on your shoulders. Both partners are equally capable of providing love and care. Sharing responsibilities ensures a well-rounded upbringing and strengthens the family bond.
Embrace the strength and joy of co-parenting, where both partners learn and grow together. A shared approach enriches the parenting experience and builds a strong, supportive family unit.
17. Suppress Emotions
Emotions are powerful, and expressing them is healthy. Don’t suppress how you feel for the sake of maintaining harmony. It’s essential to communicate your feelings, fostering a deeper connection and understanding with your partner.
I used to bottle up my emotions, thinking it would prevent conflict. But it only led to resentment. Once I started voicing my feelings openly, it strengthened our bond and brought us closer. Vulnerability is indeed a strength, not a weakness.
It’s through understanding and empathy that relationships truly thrive. By expressing how you feel, you invite more love and openness into your life. Be unafraid to show your true self—it’s beautiful.
18. Forgo Friendships
Friendships are invaluable, and maintaining them is crucial to your well-being. Don’t feel like you have to sacrifice your social connections for your relationship. A strong network of friends offers support, joy, and perspective.
Initially, I drifted from my friends, focusing solely on my relationship. I soon realized how much I missed their company and the balance they brought to my life. Reconnecting with them enriched my personal happiness and, in turn, my relationship.
Friends are a vital part of your support system, providing joy and grounding. A nurturing partnership will encourage and respect your social bonds. Friends bring laughter and light, complementing the love you share with your partner.
19. Neglect Self-Care
Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. In a relationship, it’s easy to prioritize your partner’s needs over your own. But neglecting self-care can lead to burnout. Taking time for yourself is essential for maintaining your happiness and health.
Remember, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s vital. Whether it’s a quiet walk, a spa day, or simply reading a book, make time for yourself. A healthy, happy you is the best gift you can give to your relationship.
20. Plan Every Vacation
Planning vacations can be thrilling, but it shouldn’t always fall on your plate. Travel planning should be a shared adventure, reflecting both partners’ interests and desires. Don’t feel like you have to be the sole architect of every getaway.
Embrace collaborative planning and watch your vacations become more fulfilling. Sharing the workload ensures both partners’ interests are represented, making the journey as enjoyable as the destination. Teamwork in planning can bring an exciting dimension to your travels, enriching the entire experience.