33 Things You Need to Stop Expecting From Your Adult Kids

Alright, let’s get real—parenting doesn’t exactly come with an expiration date, but at some point, it does come with a shift in job description. Your kids are grown now, and while you’ll always be their parent, you’re not exactly in charge anymore. And yet… old habits die hard, don’t they?

If you’re still expecting daily phone calls, holiday traditions to stay exactly the same, or your grown kids to take every single piece of advice you offer—we need to talk. Because while love and respect are forever, some expectations? Yeah, they need to go.

So, with a mix of humor and maybe a little ouch-worthy honesty, let’s break down 33 things you should probably stop expecting from your adult kids (like, right now). Trust me, once you let go of these outdated expectations, your relationships will feel way lighter, healthier, and honestly… a whole lot more fun.

1. Responding Instantly to Texts

You send a text, and then, it happens—you wait. Maybe even start tapping your foot impatiently. But here’s the kicker: your adult kid isn’t glued to their phone waiting for your every message. They’re probably juggling work, friends, and life’s delightful chaos.

So, let’s cut them some slack and remember, patience is a virtue. Sure, they love you, but instant replies? Not always guaranteed.

If you’re desperate for an answer, a call might work wonders! Or better yet, send a follow-up meme. Who doesn’t love a good chuckle? What matters is that they know you care, not how fast they text back.

2. Calling Every Weekend

Weekends are sacred. It’s that precious time when your adult kid unwinds, catches up with friends, or maybe just enjoys precious solitude. Expecting a call every weekend? It’s a tall order!

Sure, they might call, but sometimes they’re just flat-out exhausted from the week. And it’s not that they don’t want to chat with you—they really do!

Instead of expecting a weekly rundown, how about planning a monthly catch-up where you both set aside time? Quality over quantity, darling!

3. Following Your Life Path

Your life path was fabulous, no doubt about it! However, expecting your adult kid to replicate it might be a bit much. They have their own dreams, ambitions, and sometimes, it’s a winding road.

Remember, it’s their journey to navigate, even if they take unexpected turns. Support their adventures, and maybe even learn something new along the way.

After all, variety is the spice of life. Cheer them on, offer guidance when asked, and celebrate their unique path.

4. Agreeing with Every Opinion

Ah, the age-old dance of differing opinions! It’s a rite of passage in adulthood to form and express one’s own views. Expecting your adult kid to parrot back your opinions? Might want to rethink that!

It doesn’t mean they don’t value your wisdom; it just means they’re finding their own voice. And sometimes, those debates can be enlightening for everyone involved.

Embrace the diversity of thought, and who knows? You might find new perspectives that enrich your conversations.

5. Living Close By

Let’s face it: chasing dreams sometimes means changing zip codes. It’s tempting to want your adult kid nearby, but expecting it? That might be unrealistic.

Whether they move for career opportunities, love, or the thrill of new surroundings, it’s part of growing up. Thanks to technology, keeping in touch is easier than ever.

So, embrace the chance to visit new places, and remember, love knows no distance! Their proximity doesn’t measure their affection.

6. Having the Same Traditions

Traditions are lovely, but expecting your adult kid to hold onto every single one? Might be a bit much! They’ll create their own traditions—and yes, it may mean tweaking the old ones.

Whether it’s a new twist on holiday meals or celebrating in unique ways, it’s all part of their personal growth. And hey, you might just find a new tradition you love, too!

Change is inevitable, but it doesn’t diminish the love and memories created.

7. Financial Support Requests

Ah, the joys of financial independence! As much as you might miss helping them out, expecting your adult kid to constantly ask for financial support isn’t fair.

They’re managing their own budgets, learning the value of money, and yes, sometimes scraping by. But that struggle can be empowering and teach valuable life lessons.

Instead of expecting requests for help, offer support and guidance when they ask. Trust they’re doing their best.

8. Understanding Every Tech Gadget

Surprised they can’t fix your smartphone? Or operate that new smart fridge? Sometimes, the tech that baffles you baffles them too.

They grew up in the tech world, but that doesn’t make them experts on every gadget. Expecting them to play tech support isn’t always fair.

Instead, relish in the moments you solve tech mysteries together—or hire a professional. Who knew gadgets could be such a bonding experience?!

9. Sharing Every Detail of Their Life

Gone are the days of them sharing every little detail of their day. As adults, they’ve grown more private, and honestly, it’s their prerogative.

Expecting a full download of their life’s happenings might be unrealistic. It’s not that they don’t trust you; they’re just navigating their own waters.

Focus on the moments they do share, cherish their stories, and respect their boundaries. It’s a sign of their independence and growth.

10. Attending Every Family Event

Family events are fun, but there’s a lot going on in your adult kid’s life. Expecting attendance at every single gathering? That’s a hefty expectation!

They’re balancing work, social commitments, and personal downtime. Sometimes, missing an event is necessary, not personal.

Celebrate when they do attend and understand when they can’t. Flexibility is key, and love isn’t measured by party presence.

11. Always Putting Family First

Family is important, but expecting your adult kid to always put it first is a tall order. They have careers, partners, and responsibilities demanding their attention.

Life is about balance, and sometimes, other priorities take the lead. It’s not about love lost but about managing multiple facets of life.

Encourage them to find harmony, and know that family will always hold a special place in their heart, even if it’s not always front and center.

12. Cooking Traditional Meals

Ah, the aroma of traditional meals! But expecting your adult kids to whip them up like a pro? That’s a tall order in today’s fast-paced world.

Many are experimenting with new cuisines or opting for quicker meals. It’s less about tradition and more about convenience and creativity.

Instead of expectations, perhaps a cooking session together could be fun! You might just discover a new favorite recipe together.

13. Sharing the Same Values

We all cherish our values, but expecting your adult kid to adopt all of yours might be unrealistic. They’ve lived experiences that shaped their beliefs.

Differences in values don’t mean disrespect; they’re simply part of individual growth. Conversations can bridge gaps and offer mutual understanding.

It’s the differences that often lead to rich discussions and deeper connections. Value the diversity of character.

14. Remembering Every Birthday and Anniversary

The hustle and bustle of adult life often make dates like birthdays and anniversaries slip their minds. And guess what? It’s not personal!

Expecting your adult kid to remember every special date might lead to disappointment. They mean well, but life gets chaotic.

Gently remind them or use digital reminders to keep them on track. It’s the thought and love behind the gesture that counts, not the exact date.

15. Pursuing the Family Career

Carrying the family career torch is admirable but expecting it? That’s a heavy burden. Your adult kid has their own career aspirations and talents.

They might choose a path that seems unconventional to you, but it’s theirs to follow. Support their journey and the passion that fuels it.

Celebrate their successes, and who knows? Their path might just surprise and inspire you.

16. Always Being Available

Adulting—it’s a whole new ballgame! Expecting your adult kid to always be available can be a bit much. They’ve got work, friends, and personal time to juggle.

Life gets busy, and sometimes, they simply can’t drop everything to answer a call or text. It’s not a reflection of their love but of their commitments.

Set up regular catch-ups, and remember, they’re doing their best to balance life’s demands. Patience goes a long way.

17. Dressing a Certain Way

Fashion—it’s ever-evolving! Expecting your adult kid to dress according to your style preferences? It’s a bit of a stretch.

They express themselves through fashion, experimenting with trends and personal taste. Sometimes, those choices may surprise you.

Instead of expectations, appreciate their unique style and the creativity that comes with it. Fashion is about fun and self-expression.

18. Valuing the Same Hobbies

Sharing hobbies can be fun, but expecting your adult kid to share all of yours? Might be a tad unrealistic.

They have interests that fuel their passion, and sometimes, they won’t align with yours. And that’s perfectly okay!

Celebrate the shared interests and cherish the chance to learn about new ones. It’s an opportunity to connect in diverse ways.

19. Providing Grandchildren

Ah, the dream of grandchildren! But expecting your adult kid to fulfill that dream might be undue pressure.

Their choices regarding parenthood are personal, often influenced by career, finances, and personal readiness. It’s a significant decision.

Support them regardless of their choice, and remember, whether or not they have kids, their happiness and fulfillment are what truly matter.

20. Keeping the Family Home Intact

The family home holds memories, but expecting your adult kid to keep it forever? That’s a big ask.

Life changes, and sometimes downsizing or relocating is necessary. It’s not about leaving memories behind but about creating new ones.

Cherish the times spent there, and embrace the new chapters and spaces that come. Home is where the heart is, after all.

21. Always Being the Go-To Tech Guru

Tech-savvy they may be, but expecting your adult kid to solve every tech issue? Not always fair.

They might know their way around a smartphone but struggle with other devices. Remember, they’re human, not tech magicians!

Sometimes, professional help is the way to go. Appreciate the help they offer, and enjoy the shared learning moments.

22. Always Understanding Your Generation

Ah, the generational gap! Expecting your adult kid to always get your generation? That’s a tall expectation.

They’ve grown up in a different era, with distinct experiences and cultural influences. It shapes their worldview differently.

Embrace the differences, learn from each other, and find common ground. It enriches your relationship and understanding of one another.

23. Managing Their Life Perfectly

Perfection—an alluring myth! Expecting your adult kid to have it all together all the time? Unrealistic.

Life is messy, and everyone makes mistakes, learns, and grows. They’re figuring it out, just like you did.

Offer support and guidance without judgment. Celebrate their successes and be a comforting presence during setbacks. It’s all part of the journey.

24. Attending Every Family Holiday

Holidays are special, but expecting attendance at every single family gathering? A bit demanding.

Your adult kid has commitments and sometimes, spending holidays elsewhere happens. It’s not a reflection of love but of logistics.

Enjoy the moments you do share, and maybe create new traditions to accommodate everyone’s plans and priorities. Flexibility helps keep the spirit alive.

25. Always Sharing Your Humor

Laughter is universal, but humor? Not always shared. Expecting your adult kid to find the same things hilarious? A bit of a stretch.

They’ve developed their own sense of humor, influenced by their peers and experiences. And yes, it might be different from yours.

Celebrate the moments you do share a laugh, and enjoy discovering new comedic gems together. Humor evolves and enriches your bond.

26. Keeping in Touch Through Traditional Means

Letters and landlines had their charm, but expecting your adult kid to communicate only this way? A bit outdated!

They’re digital natives, preferring texts, social media, and video calls. It’s about staying connected, not the medium used.

Embrace the new ways and enjoy the convenience technology offers in keeping connections alive and thriving.

27. Idolizing Family Members

Family members can be inspiring, but expecting your adult kid to idolize them? It’s a lot to ask.

They’re forming their own heroes and role models, often beyond family ties. It’s part of their individual growth.

Celebrate their choices and share stories of family members that inspire. It’s about blending history with new horizons.

28. Following the Same Lifestyle

Lifestyle choices vary widely, and expecting your adult kid to mirror yours? That’s unrealistic.

They’re exploring what suits their personality, health, and happiness. Sometimes, those choices surprise you.

Support their lifestyle choices, and enjoy learning from each other’s experiences. It’s about mutual respect and expanding horizons.

29. Adopting Every Family Tradition

Family traditions hold meaning, but expecting your adult kid to adopt every single one? That’s a tall order.

They’re building their own traditions, influenced by their life experiences and aspirations. And that’s perfectly okay!

Celebrate the traditions they do cherish, and appreciate the new ones they introduce. It’s about honoring the past while embracing the future.

30. Being Interested in Family History

Family history is fascinating, but expecting your adult kid to dive into it with vigor? Not always likely.

They’re charting their own history, sometimes more focused on the present and future. It’s not a lack of interest but a different focus.

Share stories and curiosities without pressure. You never know when their curiosity might spark!

31. Hosting Family Gatherings

Hosting is an art, but expecting your adult kid to take it up enthusiastically? Not always reasonable.

They might lack space, time, or even interest in hosting big family events. Understand that it’s not about reluctance but logistics.

Appreciate the gatherings they do host, however small, and support them in creating enjoyable occasions without pressure.

32. Conforming to Social Expectations

Social expectations weigh heavy, but expecting your adult kid to conform entirely? A bit limiting.

They’re carving their path, sometimes against the grain, in ways that resonate with them. It’s an expression of individuality.

Celebrate their courage to stand out and support their journey. It’s about authenticity and self-expression.

33. Following a Set Timeline

Life’s timeline—graduate, marry, kids—is not one-size-fits-all. Expecting your adult kid to stick to it? That’s unreasonable.

They’ll reach milestones in their time, often on a path that feels right for them. And that’s perfectly okay.

Support their journey, celebrate their milestones, and remember, happiness is not bound by timelines.