4 cose da smettere e 4 cose da iniziare a fare se state cercando l'amore

STOP

1. …choosing the guy you know is unavailable

Questo è uno schema autosabotante che molte donne seguono.

No matter the reason for him being unavailable, don’t choose him. If you can see he’s emotionally distanced, stop pursuing a relationship with him.

If he’s one of the boys who are open about never wanting to get married or have a committed relationship – don’t let yourself fall for him.

If you’ve noticed that you constantly lose interest in guys who were unavailable and then become available – work on this issue.

2. …looking for romance and look for partnership instead

There is a certain type of guy or a certain type of situation that will probably attract you if you’re looking for romance.

If your thoughts and ideas of love consist of incredibly romantic, passionate scenarios – you might be on the wrong track.

If you’re searching for loveDovreste smettere di equiparare l'amore al romanticismo e iniziare a vederlo come una partnership. Questo cambierà la vostra percezione e influenzerà il modo in cui sceglierete i vostri potenziali partner.

Once you know you’re looking for a person who will become your partner and be there for you for better or for worse, you’ll think twice when you’re choosing the one to be with.

3. …focusing on your phone so much

Seriously, adjust your focus elsewhere. While there’s a chance you’ll find love online, the old fashioned ways work better.

Also, if you’re constantly following different people’s lives, it might seem to you that their love lives are amazing.

It may seem to you like they’re continuously celebrating their love and enjoying every single moment of their romance and this can give you false expectations.

So, stop following other people’s lives and trying to recreate other people’s love stories. Instead, get up, go out, and try to create your own, unique story.

4. …thinking the perfect relationship won’t require work

Talking about false expectations, movies and books might have given you the idea that true love requires no work. Well, that’s false.

Sebbene il vero amore sia semplice e si possa sentire il legame con la propria anima gemella, le relazioni richiedono sempre un lavoro.

You spend so much time with someone and share so much it’s impossible for it to always go perfectly.

Also, people change with time and the relationship changes with them. Both partners need to be equally ready to compromise and get used to each other and each other’s needs.

Sì, questo significa che dovreste smettere di aspettarvi che tutto fili sempre liscio e smettere di sprecare buone relazioni solo perché si verifica un piccolo problema. 

INIZIO

1. …enjoying time on your own

Prima di trovare la persona con cui condividere la vita, bisogna imparare ad amare lo stare da soli. Godetevi il vostro tempo da soli. 

If you don’t enjoy your own company, you can’t really expect anyone else to, either.

There are many benefits to being single and you should take advantage of all of them, because once you find your soulmate you’ll be taken forever.

2. …building up your confidence

Essere sicuri di sé è importante per il proprio benessere e attira anche gli altri. Pensate alle vostre caratteristiche migliori e ricordatele a voi stessi.

Se ci sono cose da migliorare, fatele. Fate tutto ciò che vi fa sentire bene con voi stessi.

You have to become aware of your own worth so others don’t make you think you’re worth less than you actually are.

3. …understanding your own needs

Before you enter a relationship and while you’re still searching for love you should use that time to think about your actual wants and needs. 

What is it you’re looking for in a partner? What are some things he simply needs to be/do? What are some things he should never do?

Che tipo di persona è in grado di soddisfare le vostre esigenze? 

Scavate nella vostra mente, pensate alle vostre relazioni passate e a dove sono andate male e decidete in che modo avete bisogno di essere amati e quale tipo di persona può darvi il tipo di amore che meritate.

4. …going to places people with the same interests as you go to

Gli opposti si attraggono, ma anche avere degli interessi comuni rafforza una relazione. Inoltre, rende più facile l'inizio di una relazione, perché offre qualcosa di cui parlare e su cui creare un legame.

If you have any particular interests (and everyone does), go to places where you’ll find people with those same interests. If you like books – visit libraries, if you like tennis – go play on a public court, you see where I’m going with this?

Frequentare luoghi in cui è possibile trovare persone simili a voi in un modo o nell'altro vi darà l'opportunità di instaurare un rapporto con qualcuno che sarà in grado di capirvi.