My life radically changed when I got my son. I had no time for anything. Days revolved around satisfying the baby’s needs – I would be happy if I could find time to wash my hair.
I recalled those days when it was only the two of us, my hubby and me, and I couldn’t figure out how I had a hard time organizing my schedule before I had kids. How I dared to think I was busy and tired!
Being a parent is a full-time job. When you add another full-time job to your daily schedule, you get yourself in a whirlwind of countless responsibilities.
I’ve been exhausted for years trying to squeeze in so many things in 24 hours. That’s why I get so frustrated and on the edge of tears every time one of my single colleagues shows a lack of understanding for my behavior at the office.
Why are moms on a tight schedule?
After a very hard day at work, when my manager told me I look distracted, I came home feeling so low. When my kids were asleep I felt desperate and tried to see if anyone else felt the way I do.
Google led me to Jamie Johnson’s blog where I could read all about daily challenges she faces as a working mom.
She’s a mother of two boys and she’s sharing her experience in balancing her private and work life. This woman tells my story!
One of the blog posts contains an amusing compilation of her thoughts regarding certain office situations. She starts explaining why she can not work overtime:
“Please stop judging me for leaving the office at exactly 5 pm, but my kids are waiting to be picked up from the sitter”
Yeah, child-free people forget that babysitters and daycare have closing hours and we are expected to come on time and pick our kids up. Few times I was late and they were not happy with it. Opening hours are also influencing our ability to come to work on time:
“I know I was late today, but I can’t drop the baby off at daycare until 7:45 am.”
Do we fail as moms if we are working full-time?
When our babies are sick we become so worried that it blurs out our mental capabilities and attention span. I feel guilty for being at the office while feeling it was necessary to take the kid to the doctor immediately. “Am I a good mother?” – one of the questions that pops up occasionally.
“I know that I seem distracted, because I am distracted. I have a sick toddler and I am waiting to find out when I can get him into the pediatrician.”
Feeling so overwhelmed with all the emotions my son passes on to me on a daily basis, plus all the usual stress at work, boy it all makes me so edgy sometimes so I don’t notice if my verbal or written communication sounds wrong. This is a great example and I can fully empathize:
“I didn’t mean for my email to seem snippy, but I have a five-year old that cried this morning because he didn’t want to go to school, and I am worried about him.”
Dear employers, please have compassion!
When during the initial interview my employer confirmed they are a mom-friendly work environment I felt as if I won the lottery. That was the main thing I was looking for in a company I would work for – to have understanding and flexibility for my family and the kids-related responsibilities.
Jamie wrote a wonderful gratitude to her former bosses:
“Thank you to every boss that has let me leave for doctor’s appointments, unexpected sicknesses, preschool graduations and school lunches.”
I caught myself working harder than my coworkers as I felt guilty for coming and leaving at the exact time of stated working hours. That’s why I almost cried over this:
“I understand that you feel like you need to overcompensate because you get to work just on time and leave the minute the clock strikes five.”
If you’re worried about how work will affect your kids and feel torn between your personal life and work duties read what Jamie has to say about it (while hugging my son I can say I fully agree!):
“You don’t have to choose between two worlds that you love. You can have them both. You can have a family and a career. It’s not easy, but it is possible.”
If you’re a working mom you’ll easily identify with all that Jamie wrote. Many women surely do! Have a look at some of the supportive comments on her post:
“I’m a full-time mom also, which means I have TWO full-time jobs. Coming home from work is just walking into another career. Like you, I’m just thankful that there are some people out here who have operated with grace over the years. Luckily, I think most people understand how chaotic having little kids can be.”
This comment will give you a sense of how high expectations put working moms into a seriously hectic rhythm:
“I love this thank you letter sooo much!!! Thank YOU for sharing. As womxn we ALL juggle way too much, thanks to a go go more more culture and patriarchal work environments that are asking us to prove ourselves daily. Prove you’re smart enough, committed enough, work hard enough, focused enough. Don’t rest, admit weakness, show outside interests, show health problems, family troubles, mental health stuff. Just be a committed cog and do your best every moment of a 50+ hr week.”
Some of the comments, however, proved why it’s important to share stories like this as some people show an upsetting lack of understanding, such as this one:
“Do your job and don’t leave your slack for others. I don’t expect you to cover for my leftovers, learn everything for me from the meetings I missed, or reschedule around my outside life. Why should anyone have to cover for your life choices?”