Innamorata di un uomo sposato? 8 dure verità che devi sentire

So, you’re in love with a married man.

Per quanto foste convinte che non avreste mai potuto innamorarvi di un uomo sposato e nonostante il rispetto che avete per un'unione matrimoniale, è successo comunque.

I’m sure you’re already aware of how wrong this affair is and in how many ways this new relationship could go south.

Ma questa è una storia vecchia come il mondo.

Falling in love comes naturally to all humans, and sometimes you end up developing feelings you shouldn’t for a married person.

There isn’t a part of the world or a culture where it hasn’t happened and, as much as it hurts so many people, it’s all too common in its occurrence.

Especially if this is the first time you’ve engaged in such a complex scenario and you’re scared and disappointed in yourself for not trying harder to find a healthy relationship with a man who’s actually available.

I’m not going to pretend that I understand or am privy to the ins and outs of your relazione d'amore con un uomo sposato.

I’m not going to sit here and judge you for choosing to ignore your amata‘s stato civile per continuare ad amarlo in segreto.

Ma io sono vi infonderò alcune parole di saggezza, per il bene della vostra autostima e del vostro benessere.

La mia intenzione non è quella di interrompere la vostra relazione illecita, ma di servirvi alcune dure verità sul vostro uomo sposato che la vostra infatuazione vi impedisce di vedere.

Regardless of how you two crossed paths, there’s only one way this is likely to end.

And it’s not ideal.

Forse eravate migliori amici al liceo, oppure vi siete conosciuti sui social media, attraverso incontri online o messaggi di testo.

Anyone of these doesn’t justify the nature of your relationship, although it’s understandable how easy it can be to fall in love with a married woman (or man) when experiencing relationship problems.

You got tired of going through the same thing with those toxic losers day in and day out and you needed something better – something full time.

Meaningless hookups aren’t your thing anymore and you simply need a uomo, non un ragazzo.

You’ve been on numerous dating sites which led to a bunch of potential boyfriends, and they all ended up being not good for you.

E poi ti sei imbattuto in lui.

Vedi anche: Come porre fine a una relazione con integrità e aiutarvi a lasciarla per sempre

You didn’t plan it. It sort of just happened and you were just as surprised as anyone else would be.

Con questo ragazzo è scattata la scintilla.

Non c'erano bandiere rosse (evidenti), ti ha persino detto che ti ama (e tu sapevi che lo pensava davvero).

Siete stati trattati con amore, cura e devozione e, in fin dei conti, cosa può chiedere di più una ragazza?

Dopo l'ultima rottura, questo ragazzo è stato una boccata d'aria fresca.

He showed you how it feels to be in a healthy relationship (or so you thought…) and never once did it occur to you that he was having a physical and emotional affair with anyone other than you.

Fast forward to now: You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. You don’t want to be caught in the middle of this.

You don’t want to be in love with a married man. This is not you.

But now, you’re here and you need to find a way to get out of this situation without causing any further damage.

Yet… You just can’t help but ask yourself: How did he have so much free time to spend with you if he’s got a wife?

Dov'era durante tutte le vostre telefonate notturne? Tutti gli uomini tradiscono?

Vedi anche: Agli uomini sposati mancano le loro amanti? 7 motivi per cui lo fanno

There are so many conflicting emotions that are plaguing your mind right now and you’re in desperate need of good consigli sulle relazioni.

Dovreste porre fine a questa relazione di quasi un anno?

Riesci a immaginare di vederlo faccia a faccia senza lasciarti disarmare ancora una volta dal suo fascino da chiacchierone?

Perché a volte innamorarsi è così straziante?

You were so sure that he loves you and now you know nothing. The first time you think you’ve met an actual decent guy, this is what happens.

Your self-esteem is at an all-time low and you don’t trust yourself with anything anymore.

There’s a married woman out there who has no idea you’re intruding on her marriage and you’ve never felt so angry at yourself for letting yourself be pitted against another woman.

If you’re in a tough spot right now and in dire need of relationship advice, I’m here to offer you some tough truths.

Il vostro uomo sposato potrebbe facilmente ingannare sia voi che sua moglie, e Dio solo sa cos'altro potrebbe fare alle vostre spalle.

In order to get a full grasp of this complex situation, here’s what you need to take into account before making an educated decision that will resolve your situation with this persona sposata e aiutarvi a ritrovare voi stessi.

Vedi anche: Come vivere in pace e armonia con l'aiuto di questi 5 passi

Potreste non essere gli unici

As difficult as it is to comprehend this, if this dude is already cheating on his wife with you, one needs to ponder whether or not you’re the only one he’s cheating with?

If he’s so good at sneaking around and doing the nasty with you behind his wife’s back, there could very well be another ”other” woman.

Il che mi porta al secondo punto. Come potete fidarvi di lui?

He’s already lying to one woman.

What’s to stop him from making a fool of you?

These types of men who cheat and so easily get away with it can’t really stop themselves from pushing the boundaries and testing out how many times they can actually successfully pull this off.

Are you sure you’re the only mistress in his life?

Can you declare with utmost certainty that he’d leave his wife for you one day?

Fate attenzione a questo ragazzo.

He could be selling the same BS to another poor girl who’s buying it just like you are.

You shouldn’t be sitting around waiting for him to decide

A married man can tell you what he wants and you’ll believe it because you want it to be true.

But here’s a tough truth.

Gli uomini sposati raramente lasciano la moglie per l'amante.

Ti riempiono la testa di cose che sanno che hai bisogno di sentire e continuano a vivere la loro vita coniugale, mentre tu ti siedi impaziente ad aspettare la sua telefonata.

È giusto? No. Continuate ad aspettare? Si. Allora dovete chiedervi perché e per quanto tempo.

When will it become obvious to you that you’ll always come second? He’s got his priorities (his wife and family) and you must focus on yours!

You’ll never get to sleep beside him and wake up next to him happy because he’ll always have to go back to her.

E ogni volta che questo accade, il vostro cuore si spezzerà un po' di più.

Don’t do this to yourself. Pick yourself up, choose yourself, and leave him for your own well-being.

You deserve more than someone’s sloppy seconds and his wife deserves a man who won’t step out on her.

Vedi anche: Ecco come smettere di sentirsi gelosi di una ragazza più bella

What he’s doing to his wife, he could easily do to you

Let’s assume he actually leaves his wife and commits to you.

Sceglie lei e prende questa decisione straziante per la sua famiglia.

For a while, you’ll be on cloud nine. You’ll have everything you ever wanted. He’s finally all yours.

You don’t have to share him with anyone and you don’t have to keep your relationship a secret.

Potete passeggiare per strada e tenervi per mano.

You can go on a couple’s getaway and not hide under fake names. But deep down, you’ll always wonder if he’s faithful to you.

You can’t lie to yourself – you know he’s already cheated, so how do you know he won’t do the exact same thing to you?

He can sweet-talk you all he wants, but when you know someone, it’s a different story.

So yeah, things will appear great and you’ll think you’re happy.

Ma questa sensazione non smetterà mai di assillarvi, facendovi mettere in discussione ogni giorno la vostra relazione e la sua credibilità.

Ne vale la pena?

He’s highly unlikely to choose you

Un uomo sposato ha sviluppato una tattica subdola che gli permette di continuare a prendervi in giro e di farvi credere a tutte le bugie che vi racconta.

This isn’t the first time he’s doing this.

Sa come conquistarvi e tenervi incollati.

You might feel special and like there’s actual hope for your relationship, but as I said, in this situation, married guys rarely choose the other woman.

Words mean nothing when they’re not supported by actions.

E cosa ti hanno detto le sue azioni finora? Vi ha detto qualcosa e l'ha fatto accadere?

Sta facendo progressi rispetto alla promessa di lasciare la moglie?

You might be in love with a married man, but if the feeling was truly reciprocated, he’d show it to you by doing something about the situation.

No matter the relationship problems in his marriage, if he isn’t showing any will to leave her, you should beat him to it.

You’re probably secretly enjoying the thrill of this

I know you’ll never admit this to yourself or anyone else, but there’s something truly hot and sexy about sneaking around and finding new, creative ways to go about your affair.

Vi fa sentire importanti e pieni di risorse e, a volte, orgogliosi.

I don’t expect you to own up to this, but you have to admit that there’s a tiny bit of truth there.

La sua vita era piuttosto di routine fino a quando non ha incontrato il suo uomo sposato.

And ever since, you’ve been living a completely different type of life – one that requires you to be sneaky and smart while keeping this huge secret under wraps.

It’s thrilling and exciting almost as much as it’s wrong and regretful.

Every day is a risk and a new adventure, and the fact that you never know where and when you’ll see him next is downright salacious.

You’re feeling the thrill of the whole thing while being cautiously aware of how wrong you are to feel this way.

And yet, you’re not doing anything to change it. What does that tell you?

Vedi anche: Sesso con gli amici? I 10 segreti più grandi che nessuno ti svela

Il fatto che abbia dei figli rende tutto molto più complesso

Se il vostro uomo sposato ha dei figli, la situazione può diventare ancora più spiacevole.

In primo luogo, se lasciasse la moglie per lei, i suoi figli si risentirebbero per la rottura della loro famiglia.

Do you want to take on this huge responsibility of being a major part of their life, all the while knowing they’re unlikely to warm up to you?

Every time they see you, they’ll be reminded that you were the reason for their mom and dad’s break-up.

Questo potrebbe causare molti conflitti e amarezze, che saranno dannosi anche per la vostra relazione sentimentale.

Being in love with a married man is one thing… but when there are kids involved, it’s simply playing with fire.

Siete pronti a scottarvi?

You’ll never know the other side of the story (his wife’s)

A bad marriage is never just one partner’s fault.

It takes two to tango. And you’re never going to get the full story behind their failed marriage and how it all came about.

He can tell you whatever he wants, but do you really think that he didn’t play a part in his marriage crashing and burning?

If he’s bad-mouthing his wife, don’t you feel sorry for her?

Isn’t there a part of you wondering if she’s truly as possessive and controlling as he’s making her sound?

O forse lui è manipolatore e tossico e non le ha dato altra scelta che essere così?

Ci sono tanti problemi che potrebbe nascondervi, ma sua moglie li conosce fin troppo bene.

Pensateci prima di impegnarvi con lui. La vostra relazione potrebbe fallire con la stessa facilità del suo matrimonio.

La tua vita vale questo pasticcio? Vale la pena che LUI sacrifichi la tua dignità e si fidi ciecamente di lui?

You’re a temporary fix for a broken marriage

Has it ever occurred to you that you might simply be his temporary saving grace while he’s struggling with his marital issues?

Men cheat and people lie. That’s a fact of life.

E voi potreste essere la vittima della sua manipolazione.

Forse vi siete convinti che si tratta di una storia d'amore grandiosa e che siete destinati a stare insieme.

But it’s far more likely that you’re just someone with whom he gets to enjoy himself and forget about the world and his broken marriage.

At first, it’s sexy, fun, and thrilling.

Ma con il tempo diventa difficile, impegnativo e disastroso.

Cominciate a vederlo per quello che è veramente e a capire che he doesn’t really love you.

He loves what you give him – relief from his relationship problems and a good time.

He doesn’t love voiama la sensazione di essere temporaneamente libero.

Vedi anche: 7 segni di una moglie emotivamente distante e perché è diventata così

Come si fa ad andare avanti?

Per cominciare, si inizia a vedere la situazione per quello che è realmente, invece di quello che si vuole che sia.

Una distrazione dalla realtà, dove si vive nel proprio mondo di fantasia che dà la sensazione di essere amati e non usati.

But being in love with a married man is just that – a fantasy.

You’ll never be his first choice.

He’s never going to wake up one day and decide to break up his marriage, especially if there are children in the picture.

You’re his breakaway from an unhappy marriage.

And as troubled as he may be, it’s not on you to be a fix to his emotional wounds.

You need to be brave enough to decide you’re done playing second fiddle.

You’re done taking crumbs of his love and from today on, you’re only going to look for guys who won’t use you as a temporary fix.

Voi valete molto di più.

Una relazione sana è costituita da due individui maturi che si scelgono l'un l'altro e che lottano per il loro amore contro ogni probabilità.

Two people who’d go to war for each other and never dare put their partner second.

A married man will never be able to check these boxes. And at the end of the day, that’s what it comes down to.

You can make all the excuses you want, but it won’t change a thing.

He’s always going to put her first because his loyalty is primarily to her. And yours should be to yourself. Put your own needs first.

Pick up the shambles of your broken self and admit to yourself what he never will. It’s never going to be you. You’ll never get your happy ending with him.

Take the relationship advice from a person who’s been through the wringer and suffered the consequences of her poor decision.

Un uomo sposato è fedele al suo matrimonio e a se stesso.

Prendi la decisione giusta e vattene con dignità prima che lui ti distrugga il cuore.

It’s not going to be easy, but in the long run, this is the best decision you can make and one day you’ll be grateful you did it.

Potete scegliere di vivere in un mondo di fantasia in cui continuate a desiderare qualcosa di sfuggente, oppure potete riportarvi alla realtà e lottare per un futuro migliore.

Quale sarà?