Paura e fede per amare di nuovo

When your heart has been broken, it can be scary to love again. When your heart and mind have been abused, it can be so difficult to love again. You can want to love again but something always holds you back. It’s like you scegliere sempre l'uomo sbagliato almost on purpose. It’s like there’s a sabotage button that you’re magnetically attached to. But usually when you look back you were right to push the button! He wasn’t right. He wasn’t the one to truly open your heart to again anyway.

You think you’re ready because you’ve put yourself out there to date so you must be ready! Right? Maybe, maybe not. Just because your best friend cried for three months after a break-up and seemed to just glide into the next relationship does not mean there is something wrong with you because this hasn’t happened for you. It’s OK to take months or even years to open your heart again. Healing from a bad relationship is a bit like grieving, there is no set time for you to have to be OK!

As women, we are often deep in discussion with friends about following our women’s intuition, trusting our gut feeling. There’s always that one friend who will insist that you MUST KNOW what your gut is telling you but don’t panic, it’s OK to be completely confused.

Fear can most definitely play nasty tricks on your mind. It’s like a little devil on your shoulder whispering doubts into your ear and making you ask questions.

La paura è anche il signore e il padrone della temuta sovrappensiero!!!!! We all do it. It’s perfectly normal. You might run through previous conversations over and over, trying to find some hidden meaning you may have missed the previous eighteen times you replayed it in your mind. Maybe it’s reading a text conversation several times. Maybe it’s asking yourself a million questions, never actually answering even one of them before you’re onto the next…

La paura può farvi agire in modo anomalo! Avete mai fatto un sogno in cui qualcuno vi ha fatto un torto? La mattina dopo vi svegliate e provate un'emozione negativa nei confronti della persona che avete sognato! Sapete che è ridicolo, ma lo sentite lo stesso. Proprio come la paura che si prova quando si aspetta, come se fosse una vita, di ricevere un messaggio o una chiamata da quel ragazzo.

Poi lui chiama e voi ridete di quanto siete stati ridicoli. Eravate presi dalla vostra stessa mente, come un prigioniero.

Poi un giorno incontrate qualcuno. Ti piace. Gli piaci. Te lo dice lui. Uscite insieme. Vi mandate messaggi senza senso e una telefonata di cinque minuti può durare trentacinque minuti. Non vedete l'ora di rivedervi con un'eccitazione infantile.

Ti fa sorridere.

Vi fa il dono più grande di tutti.

Fede.

Even with this guy, the little fear devil may come along for a quick visit. Let’s face it, it had been there through every first date you weren’t really wanting or ready to go on. Every time you potentially liked somebody but felt your guard go up when he did something that fed your fear. Every time you hit the sabotage button, it was the fear that made you do it.

Ma lasciate che vi dica una cosa che ho imparato. La paura può essere il vostro peggior nemico. Può far emergere le insicurezze e i sentimenti di ansia più devastanti per l'anima.

Anche la paura può essere vostra amica.

Ricordate la confusione intestinale di cui ho parlato prima?

It’s simply a battle between fear and faith.

Ecco come la paura può essere vostra amica. Vedete, mentre la paura e la fede combattono e noi siamo intrappolati in un mondo di confusione e sabotaggio, in realtà permettiamo alla fede di vincere la guerra.

If we had continued on and dragged out that potential relationship, hoping he would change or do differently whatever wasn’t feeling right, we would have allowed fear to win! In a lot of cases, probably that fear of being alone.

Invece, siete liberi di aprire la porta al ragazzo che vi fa il dono della fede. Ti fa sorridere.
Ti fa ridere.

You don’t need to pretend with him. Being yourself with a guy feels good again. Even when you’re being a total nerd. Or rambling like a lunatic about something that excites you.

Anche quando la paura cerca di insinuarsi, riuscite a lasciare che la fede la faccia da padrona.

With him, it’s OK to be open. Fear isn’t something to be ashamed of and he gets it when you really open up and share with him.

You realize you are beginning to have faith and maybe even love again…

Nothing in this life is guaranteed but if you keep some faith in your heart and soul, it will always win…

And to quote one of my favorite movies… ‘The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

di Beverly Martin