Picture this: You’ve planned the perfect first date, and everything’s going smoothly until someone blurts out something that leaves the air thick with awkwardness.
It’s the kind of moment that can turn a potential love story into a funny tale for friends. First dates are all about making a good impression, so here’s a playful yet insightful guide on what not to say when you’re trying to make that connection.
1. “So, how much do you make?”
Diving into financial details on a first date can feel intrusive and uncomfortable. Money conversations can be delicate and are best saved for when you know each other better.
On a first date, you’re there to learn about each other’s personalities, interests, and values—not to assess fiscal worth. Bringing up salaries too soon can make it seem like you’re more interested in their wallet than their eart.
Even if you’re just curious, it’s important to respect boundaries. Keep the conversation light and engaging, focusing on shared experiences and aspirations instead. Remember, there’s plenty of time to discuss finances once the connection deepens.
2. “You look way better than your pictures.”
What seems like a compliment can easily come off as an unintended jab. When you tell someone they look better in person than in their photos, it implies their pictures aren’t flattering, or worse, deceptive.
It’s essential to appreciate your date for who they are in the moment, without comparisons to digital images. Focus on genuine praise, like complimenting their eye color or the warmth of their smile. These personal touches resonate more than backhanded compliments.
Remember, the goal is to make your date feel comfortable and appreciated, not self-conscious. Let them know you’re genuinely pleased to meet them, and see where the conversation naturally flows.
3. “I’m still really close with my ex.”
Bringing an ex into the conversation can be a major mood killer. When you mention being close with an ex, it raises questions about unresolved feelings and priorities.
Your date may wonder if they have to compete for your attention or if you’re truly ready to move on. It’s better to steer the conversation towards your current interests and what excites you about the future.
If your past relationships come up, keep it brief and positive. Focus on the present, showing that you’re open to new experiences and people. Building trust and rapport is key to a successful first date.
4. “Marriage is just a legal scam.”
Dismissing marriage as a ‘legal scam’ can be off-putting, especially if your date values commitment and long-term relationships. Such a statement might suggest cynicism or bitterness.
While it’s okay to have opinions about marriage, sharing them on a first date can create unnecessary tension. Instead, discuss values and goals more broadly, focusing on mutual interests and dreams.
A first date is about discovering common ground, not highlighting differences. Keep the atmosphere positive by discussing what you’re passionate about. There’s plenty of time to delve into deeper topics as your relationship evolves.
5. “I hate people.”
Claiming to dislike people while on a date with one can be confusing and off-putting. It sends a mixed signal and might make your date question their presence.
Even if you’re an introvert, it’s better to focus on what you enjoy about social interactions. Share stories about meaningful connections and memorable experiences instead.
Highlighting the positive aspects of your social life can create a welcoming atmosphere and help your date feel valued. Remember, the goal is to connect, not to alienate. Keep things light-hearted and inviting for a successful first date.
6. “I Googled you.”
Admitting to Googling your date can come off as creepy and intrusive. Even if you checked out their online presence, it’s best not to reveal it so bluntly.
Focus instead on what you’re learning in person. Your date is more than their digital footprint, and exploring shared experiences can be much more rewarding.
By keeping the conversation organic and spontaneous, you show interest in who they are beyond the screen. Remember, first dates are about genuine connection, not investigative research. Allow the relationship to develop naturally, and the rest will follow.
7. “I’m not really over my last relationship.”
Discussing unresolved feelings for an ex on a first date is a surefire way to dampen the mood. It signals that you may not be emotionally ready for a new connection.
Instead, focus on why you’re excited to be on this date. Share your interests, hobbies, and what you hope to find in a partner, rather than dwelling on the past.
This approach keeps the atmosphere positive and shows that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know your date. Let your past relationships be learning experiences, not anchors that hold you back from potential new ones.
8. “What’s your body count?”
Asking about someone’s ‘body count’ can be intrusive and disrespectful. It’s a question that often comes with judgment and assumes an intimacy that’s inappropriate for a first meeting.
Focus on building a foundation of trust and respect. Conversations about past relationships are best reserved for when you’ve established a deeper connection.
Instead, discuss topics that reveal your date’s personality, interests, and values. This creates a more meaningful dialogue and sets the stage for future discussions. The key is to make your date feel comfortable and valued, not judged.
9. “My therapist says I need to work on…”
While therapy is a valuable tool, diving into personal issues on a first date can be overwhelming. It suggests you’re more focused on your struggles than on getting to know your date.
Keep the conversation light and oriented towards shared experiences and future hopes. There’s a time and place for deeper discussions about personal growth.
By focusing on the positive aspects of your life and what you’re looking forward to, you create an uplifting atmosphere. Your date will appreciate the opportunity to see you as a well-rounded individual, not just someone working through issues.
10. “I usually date younger women.”
Mentioning a preference for younger partners can come across as patronizing and shallow. It might make your date feel undervalued or question your intentions.
Instead, focus on what attracted you to this particular date. Compliment their unique qualities and shared interests, creating a sense of appreciation and connection.
By valuing your date for who they are, rather than comparing them to others, you build a foundation of respect and authenticity. This approach fosters a more meaningful interaction and opens the door for future dates.
11. “I don’t really believe in feelings.”
Dismissive comments about feelings can negate the emotional aspect of a date. It suggests a lack of empathy, which is essential for building a connection.
Instead, embrace the emotional nuances of your conversation. Ask open-ended questions that encourage your date to share their thoughts and feelings.
By validating emotions and showing genuine interest, you create a supportive and engaging environment. This lays the groundwork for a deeper connection and mutual understanding. Emotions are a vital part of relationships, and acknowledging them can enhance your first date experience.
12. “I think monogamy is unnatural.”
Questioning monogamy on a first date can be provocative and potentially alienating. While it’s an interesting topic, it might not be suitable for early conversations.
Focus instead on building rapport and understanding each other’s perspectives on relationships. Share what you’re looking for without challenging fundamental beliefs.
Creating a positive space for dialogue helps you and your date explore compatibility without pressure. Once a foundation of trust is built, such topics can be revisited with a more open mind.
13. “You seem really emotional.”
Labeling someone as ’emotional’ can feel dismissive and invalidating, especially on a first date. It implies that emotions are a weakness rather than a natural part of human experience.
Instead, focus on understanding and empathy. Encourage your date to share their thoughts and feelings, and show genuine interest in their perspective.
By recognizing the value of emotions, you create a more inclusive and supportive atmosphere. This approach helps to foster trust and connection, paving the way for a more rewarding relationship.
14. “I don’t like dogs… or kids… or brunch.”
Listing dislikes can come across as negative and limiting. It suggests a closed-mindedness that might not be attractive to someone who enjoys variety and spontaneity.
Instead, focus on the things you do enjoy. Share your passions and interests, and encourage your date to do the same. This creates a more positive and engaging dialogue.
By emphasizing the things that bring you joy, you foster a sense of curiosity and excitement. This approach helps to build a connection based on shared enthusiasm rather than mutual dislikes.
15. “Are you always this quiet?”
Pointing out someone’s quietness can make them feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. It might suggest that you expect them to entertain or impress you.
Instead, embrace the silence as an opportunity to connect in a more subtle way. Ask open-ended questions or share anecdotes to encourage dialogue.
By creating a relaxed and accepting atmosphere, you invite your date to open up at their own pace. Silence can be golden when it leads to thoughtful and meaningful conversation.
16. “I’m a nice guy, not like other guys.”
Claiming to be ‘not like other guys’ can backfire, as it often implies the opposite. It’s a clichéd attempt to set oneself apart, lacking the authenticity that truly impresses.
Instead of stating you’re nice, show it through your actions and words. Share your values and interests, and listen actively to your date’s stories and perspectives.
Authenticity is more appealing than self-proclaimed uniqueness. By being genuine and considerate, you naturally stand out for the right reasons, fostering a connection based on mutual respect and interest.
17. “You’d be so hot if you smiled more.”
Telling someone to smile more can feel patronizing and objectifying. It suggests they’re not good enough as they are and places importance on appearance over substance.
Instead, appreciate your date’s natural demeanor and find genuine ways to compliment them. Focus on their unique traits and qualities that drew you in.
By valuing your date for who they are, rather than how they could be, you foster a sense of respect and admiration. This approach encourages a more genuine and fulfilling connection.
18. “So, want to come back to my place?”
Inviting someone back to your place on a first date can be presumptuous and pressure-filled. It suggests that you’re more interested in physical attraction than getting to know each other.
Focus on building a connection based on shared experiences and mutual respect. A successful first date should leave you both excited for the next meeting, not awkwardly rushing into intimacy.
Respect your date’s boundaries and take things at a comfortable pace. By creating an atmosphere of trust and consideration, you’ll set the stage for a more meaningful relationship.