Una lettera aperta all'uomo che ho ferito

Sapevo che questo momento sarebbe arrivato prima o poi. Sapevo di non essere abbastanza forte per combattere per te, ma in qualche modo ho trascurato questa sensazione.

Ho pensato che il fatto stavi combattendo per me così forte era sufficiente.

But it wasn’t. It takes two to tango and I was the one who messed up things here. And I am sorry for that.

I am sorry that I let you go all in, without any intention to reciprocate in the same way. But just know it wasn’t because I didn’t want to, it was because I couldn’t.

You know, you can’t just tell your heart what to do. It is not a machine so you can’t turn it on and off.

The heart is a complicated thing and you need to be careful when dealing with it. Too bad I wasn’t careful with yours. I never thought that you would fall so hard for me.

Pensavo che saresti rimasto per poco tempo e che poi te ne saresti andato, come tutti gli altri ragazzi con cui sono uscita.

Ma tu avevi piani diversi. Hai deciso di stare con me, con qualcuno che era ammaccato, rotto e completamente incasinato. Sei rimasto e mi hai aspettato per mettere a posto le mie cose.

You held me while I was fixing myself, telling me that I could do it and that I shouldn’t give up. But too bad that I gave up on love a long time ago. I gave up on you a long time ago.

Piccola, ho rinunciato a noi molto tempo fa. And you couldn’t even see it in my eyes, since I pretended everything was okay.

I didn’t have enough courage to tell you that things between us would never work.

Pensavo che avremmo litigato come facevo sempre con gli altri ragazzi con cui uscivo.

I thought there would come a day when you would yell at me, telling me that you couldn’t stand me anymore.

But that day never happened. You were always there if I needed you. If I called you in the middle of the night, you would come to my doorstep to hug me and to tell me that I shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.

Tu eri così pieno di amore e di attenzioni, ma io, invece, ero un taccagno quando si trattava di emozioni.

That’s why I want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry that I suck at showing my emotions. I am sorry I suck at showing that I care.

Mi dispiace di averti trattato male perché pensavo che fossi come gli altri ragazzi. Mi dispiace che tu ti sia dovuto innamorare di me. Se potessi cambiare qualcosa in questo momento, cambierei questo.

I would never want to see you broken like you are now. If I could go back, I would do things differently. But I can’t. And I am sorry about that.

I just want you to know that none of this was planned. I am not a monster. I am just a woman who has been hurt too many times. And that’s why I am keeping my heart closed to anyone who comes near.

That’s why I look like the unlovable one. That’s why I am sad. And I hope that one day I will manage to love like you.

Spero di essere in grado di aprire il mio cuore e di darmi tutta a qualcuno. Ma soprattutto spero che tu trovi la forza di dimenticarmi e che mi perdoni.

I hope that you will realize that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you and that you will forgive me for the pain I have caused you.

Spero anche che troverai l'amore perché sei un essere umano meraviglioso. Sono sicura che sarai un ottimo marito e un padre straordinario.

I just hope the next woman you fall in love with will know how to cherish you. I hope she will give you everything that I couldn’t.

Spero che ti amerà come non ha mai amato nessuno prima. E soprattutto spero che sia quella giusta.

Vi auguro tutta la fortuna del mondo.

The one who couldn’t love you